Lone ESTp vs. annoying teenage girls at taco bell

[smccosker]

About an hour ago i went to taco bell. It was nice and quiet, I ordered my tacos and next to me were 3 loud obnoxious teenage girls. They thought they were cool and were blocking EVERYones path to walk through. To me this is intolerable. I said excuse me and went to drop my quarters into the carousel that wins you free tacos and i hear "WAIT!!!!!!" like it was life or death and i went into "fight or flight" mode. I had a half-angry half surprised look on my face. the tallest one goes "I HAVE A COIN IN THERE!!!..oh it ok LOL" The girls laughed at me saying "he looks traumatized." I was full of anxiety and anger while I dropped my coins and lost...I got my tacos and berated the spanish speaking lady for poorly enunciating my number, then to my chagrin...the girls are still standing in the way of me and evryone else. I shoved her into the counter saying "get the fuck outta my way" and I grilled everyone in sight like a madman while i walked out. I don't understand why this bothered me so much really...but I felt publicly disrespected and emotionally abused. Any thoughts???

[jessica129]

...you shoved a teenage girl? whoa

[duality is cringe]

I always knew you were vermin. Everything you type reaffirms that opinion.

[Brilliand]

You were publicly disrespected, though I think only a Beta ST would have reacted as you did (and not all of them at that). I would have accepted it as funny that they traumatized me, but for you it was a show of weakness.

Of course if I though that they had planned it in advance ("hey, let's traumatize him) I would be angry, and probably give them a scowl.

Anyhow, it was almost certainly a blow across your base and HA...

[smccosker]

I always knew you were vermin. Everything you type reaffirms that opinion.

jesus christ i didnt hurt her, i pushed her out of my way with my shoulder

the cashier didnt want them there anyway

i admit i do have an anger problem as well as an inferiority complex...but i dont think putting an annoying teenager in her place (although in an unethical way) makes me "vermin"

[jessica129]

...it was a girl. A little girl. Little girls are stupid. They act like that. I could never imagine being pushed to the point of shoving a kid for something so insignificant...a light push or not, no one has the right to get phsyical with a stranger like that.

[Lotus]

I don't understand why this bothered me so much really...but I felt publicly disrespected and emotionally abused. Any thoughts???

I would have been bothered too. However, feeling emotionally abused—no, not really. But wow, I really hate people whose existence amounts to nothing more than a giggling fire-hazard. Hah, I get pissed off about that sort of thing on a daily basis. I tend to stay out of people's way and I'm always aware of whether I'm crossing a boundary or blocking someone's path. It's very natural for me to know if my voice is too loud, if I'm in the way of something, or if someone's reacting in response to my presence. I expect the same courtesy of others—for them to stay out of my way like I do for them. And if they don't respect that then they've lost my respect for their boundaries as well.

I definitely would not have reacted like you though. In regards to directness, I think being vocal about it is a lot more effective than physically shoving someone. I don't mean this in a diplomatic way, it's just that to idiots like the girls you described, shoving them would come across as totally out-of-nowhere. I don't think they realized how they were going to affect you or how you were capable of reacting to them. Eye contact and a decent, “Please get the fuck out of my way,” would have been appropriate imo. Just be serious and direct about how you feel and how you will handle them if they continue with their bullshit. It may not get the feeling across like being shoved into a Taco Bell counter, but it's a lot more sensible.

[smccosker]

You were publicly disrespected, though I think only a Beta ST would have reacted as you did (and not all of them at that). I would have accepted it as funny that they traumatized me, but for you it was a show of weakness.

Of course if I though that they had planned it in advance ("hey, let's traumatize him) I would be angry, and probably give them a scowl.

Anyhow, it was almost certainly a blow across your base and HA...

the fact that they did it at all is unacceptable.

it was rude, dehumanizing and cruel...if you let a teenage girl disrespect u in public imagine what ud let a grown man do to do? my strength is always standing up for myself. its called self-respect. just because they were teenage girls doesnt make them special. nobody is so special they can humiliate or demean me.

[Creepy-bg]

you should have punched her in the face.

[smccosker]

I would have been bothered too. However, feeling emotionally abused—no, not really. But wow, I really hate people whose existence amounts to nothing more than a giggling fire-hazard. Hah, I get pissed off about that sort of thing on a daily basis. I tend to stay out of people's way and I'm always aware of whether I'm crossing a boundary or blocking someone's path. It's very natural for me to know if my voice is too loud, if I'm in the way of something, or if someone's reacting in response to my presence. I expect the same courtesy of others—for them to stay out of my way like I do for them. And if they don't respect that then they've lost my respect for their boundaries as well.

I definitely would not have reacted like you though. In regards to directness, I think being vocal about it is a lot more effective than physically shoving someone. I don't mean this in a diplomatic way, it's just that to idiots like the girls you described, shoving them would come across as totally out-of-nowhere. I don't think they realized how they were going to affect you or how you were capable of reacting to them. Eye contact and a decent, “Please get the fuck out of my way,” would have been appropriate imo. Just be serious and direct about how you feel and how you will handle them if they continue with their bullshit. It may not get the feeling across like being shoved into a Taco Bell counter, but it's a lot more sensible.

i stared at this girl angrily and was bangin on the wina taco carosuel (she didnt care) she turned her back on me. im not going to walk around her and let her spoiled brat friends laugh at me. you really wanna know how i feel. she didnt get enough...her father shouldve spanked her harder when she was little. im a grown ass man..i dont need a 15 year old giving me shit

[Satan]

calmy casually handle situations and people

losing your temper can be a sign of letting other people get to you too much. they're just teenage girls with nothing better to do.

[ArchonAlarion]

you should have punched her in the face.

well i woulda raped them because they were clearly alpha SF's

lololloolasldlasldalsdlasdl

rape is bad

[smccosker]

you should have punched her in the face.

believe me i wanted to

[smccosker]

calmy casually handle situations and people

losing your temper can be a sign of letting other people get to you too much. they're just teenage girls with nothing better to do.

easier said than done

[Satan]

easier said than done

these things .. you have to trigger them to change them, you can't just "think" about changing them, but you have to keep your "awareness" up as they're happening, and then you can change your behaviour. if you're "awareness" is falling behind, and comes back to you later, it's impossible to change the past.

like have you ever been in a fight, and then it's like a day or two later you're like "What the fuck happened"? And then it's like you know were overreacting. And that you're "past" it now, but that you were pretty hot-headed at the time.

[Satan]

i stared at this girl angrily and was bangin on the wina taco carosuel (she didnt care) she turned her back on me. im not going to walk around her and let her spoiled brat friends laugh at me. you really wanna know how i feel. she didnt get enough...her father shouldve spanked her harder when she was little. im a grown ass man..i dont need a 15 year old giving me shit

when i was younger i used to shove my hand into peoples back, and push them if they turned their back on me in the wrong moment. i don't know about you, but everything after that for me is reacting from the first moment, which is where you have to change your behaviour.

i used to tell people that they shouldn't make sudden movements, turn their back blah blah. but when that didn't work, i'd just shove my arm around their neck or smoething.

anyway, whilst you stare you're going to increase your focus. but hold back, and don't make a move unless you need to. then try just speaking rather than moving straight to physical.

[smccosker]

when i was younger i used to shove my hand into peoples back, and push them if they turned their back on me in the wrong moment. i don't know about you, but everything after that for me is reacting from the first moment, which is where you have to change your behaviour.

i used to tell people that they shouldn't make sudden movements, turn their back blah blah. but when that didn't work, i'd just shove my arm around their neck or smoething.

anyway, whilst you stare you're going to increase your focus. but hold back, and don't make a move unless you need to. then try just speaking rather than moving straight to physical.

the anxiety i have and the anger i have in these situations is great..given. but i dont see how i couldve made a conversation, or directly at her w/o blowing a gasket and having the whole place see me screaming like a wild man

that shows a lack of self control, and is overt bullying. what i did only, maybe 4 people saw. and i got the point accross.

[Lotus]

these things .. you have to trigger them to change them, you can't just "think" about changing them, but you have to keep your "awareness" up as they're happening, and then you can change your behaviour. if you're "awareness" is falling behind, and comes back to you later, it's impossible to change the past.

like have you ever been in a fight, and then it's like a day or two later you're like "What the fuck happened"? And then it's like you know were overreacting. And that you're "past" it now, but that you were pretty hot-headed at the time.

Yeah, this is very true imo.

You have to know what something is worth while you're in it—which is hard sometimes, but it's important to develop that sort of awareness. You can't just be in autopilot because then you end up letting your emotional reflexes control you. You want your entire self to be in control for these situations. Showing a response to them like that is more demeaning imo because it's a loss of self-control, rather than just taking a little bullshit because you're better than that.

Merk's right. You don't have to "think" your emotions or whatever. Live like a force in the environment. Only exert what is necessary to get from Point A to Point B. Don't let giggling distract you. They're still just stupid girls—not a threat, not anything significant, and certainly not worth your time.

I dunno, for me I suppose I think more in rapid snapshots or something. Like what you described here:

i stared at this girl angrily and was bangin on the wina taco carosuel (she didnt care) she turned her back on me. im not going to walk around her and let her spoiled brat friends laugh at me. you really wanna know how i feel. she didnt get enough...her father shouldve spanked her harder when she was little. im a grown ass man..i dont need a 15 year old giving me shit

You stared at her. You banged on the carousel. She turned her back. She's in your way. You're not walking around. She's not worth it. But she's still in your way. You want to move her. Is she worth is? She's not worth it. Say something. She doesn't listen? Is she worth it? Now, physically moving her yourself sounds promising. You think for a second. She'd probably just laugh it off. She'd giggle more with her friends. “We got a reaction out of him.” Is that worth it? No, it's not fucking worth it.

[smccosker]

Yeah, this is very true imo.

You have no know what something is worth while you're in it—which is hard sometimes, but it's important to develop that sort of awareness. You can't just be in autopilot because then you end up letting your emotional reflexes control you. You want your entire self to be in control for these situations. Showing a response to them like that is more demeaning imo because it's a loss of self-control, rather than just taking a little bullshit because you're better than that.

Merk's right. You don't have to "think" your emotions or whatever. Live like a force in the environment. Only exert what is necessary to get from Point A to Point B. Don't let giggling distract you. They're still just stupid girls—not a threat, not anything significant, and certainly not worth your time.

I dunno, for me I suppose I think more in rapid snapshots or something. Like what you described here:

You stared at her. You banged on the carousel. She turned her back. She's in your way. You're not walking around. She's not worth it. But she's still in your way. You want to move her. Is she worth is? She's not worth it. Say something. She doesn't listen? Is she worth it? Now, physically moving her yourself sounds promising. You think for a second. She'd probably just laugh it off. She'd giggle more with her friends. “We got a reaction out of him.” Is that worth it? No, it's not fucking worth it.

it was worth it, and she deserved it, i dont like being passive aggressive. ive done it for too long and its not good for my mental or emtional health. that little bitch can go to hell. i dont take shit from neone.

[Creepy-bg]

lol the sick part is that you probably turned her on... she probably hasn't shut up about you since it happened

[smccosker]

lol the sick part is that you probably turned her on... she probably hasn't shut up about you since it happened

here's a good story...an aqquaintance of mine was hanging out with a stripper and driving her around hoping to get laid. he didnt. the girl somehow ended up talking to my friend an SEE i believe? not really sure. neway, in conversation she started acting up my friend who is 30+ years old said "you ever talk to me like that again ill knock ur teeth out" the girled turned out to be so uncontrollably attracted to him and called him so often he had to turn his phone off.

[Lotus]

it was worth it, and she deserved it, i dont like being passive aggressive. ive done it for too long and its not good for my mental or emtional health. that little bitch can go to hell. i dont take shit from neone.

You really think so? Despite how it seems, you really did take their shit, you know. You may have shoved her out of your physical boundaries, but she's still getting the best of you. So what, you've effectively made it so that she's not in your way at the fucking Taco Bell counter—but man, look where she's at now. She's gotten in your head. She's gotten in your emotions, she made you reactive, she caused you to act on an impulse—and that's not all. She made you remember her. She made you think about it. She made you bothered by the situation. Now look, she's even managed to get you to log onto an internet forum to talk about her. And you gave her a shove, some giggles, and maybe even a story to tell her friends at school tomorrow.

You say she deserves that, but do you? I'm sorry, but I think that's the demeaning part of it all. She can't touch you, you know. Whatever she did in there was offensive to you, yes. But it's certainly not an invasion. She's just a fucking object in your path. You were the one who attached the significance to it by letting her upset you. If she wants to act like a chair stuck in the doorway, then sure, you're going to want to treat her like one—to move her out of your way. But come on, who is the pathetic one here? The object or the person on the internet bitching about it?

[duality is cringe]

jesus christ i didnt hurt her, i pushed her out of my way with my shoulder

the cashier didnt want them there anyway

i admit i do have an anger problem as well as an inferiority complex...but i dont think putting an annoying teenager in her place (although in an unethical way) makes me "vermin"

You dropped a quater into a machine ("taco carosuel"), some obnoxious tweens stopped you and claimed to have a quarter already inserted. They then commented on the look on your face, so you, naturally, yelled at a Spanish speaking female employee for mispronouncing your ticket number (or someting), put your hands on some annoying teenage girls instead of just verbally confronting them and then claim you've been emotionally traumatized or some shit?

Yeah, you're vermin.

the fact that they did it at all is unacceptable.

it was rude, dehumanizing and cruel...if you let a teenage girl disrespect u in public imagine what ud let a grown man do to do? my strength is always standing up for myself. its called self-respect. just because they were teenage girls doesnt make them special. nobody is so special they can humiliate or demean me.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Not physically assaulting teenage females means you would allow a man to do that to you? What kind of retard reasoning is that?

You're incredibly insecure. And vile. I also wouldn't be remotely surprised if you grossly exaggerated your description of this occurrence. The only upside to reading your posts is knowing you'll probably be in prison in a few years time anyway. It's like reading the diaries of Travis Bickle.

[smccosker]

You dropped a quater into a machine ("taco carosuel"), some obnoxious tweens stopped you and claimed to have a quarter already inserted. They then commented on the look on your face, so you, naturally, yelled at a Spanish speaking female employee for mispronouncing your ticket number (or someting), put your hands on some annoying teenage girls instead of just verbally confronting them and then claim you've been emotionally traumatized or some shit?

Yeah, you're vermin.



BWAHAHAHAHA!

Not physically assaulting teenage females means you would allow a man to do that to you? What kind of retard reasoning is that?

You're incredibly insecure. And vile. I also wouldn't be remotely surprised if you grossly exaggerated your description of this occurrence. The only upside to reading your posts is knowing you'll probably be in prison in a few years time anyway. It's like reading the diaries of Travis Bickle.

lmao, i have a schizoid passing judgments on me now. I shoved someone...i didnt kill neone, i didnt rob neone. please give me a break

[duality is cringe]

"Hate" doesn't factor into it. It's more about repulsion and disgust, feeling this way toward your ignorant, thug-like mentality is no reflection on my sex life. As much as you wish it were.

EDIT: Oh, you edited your post. I'm also going to assume you have little idea of what "schizoid" means too.

[Not A Communist Shill]

Calm down you two!

[Ritella]

oh god. make this thread stop. please.

[smccosker]

oh god. make this thread stop. please.

no please it amuses me

[xyz]

About an hour ago i went to taco bell.

Well see, there's yer problem.

Dude, you let a bunch of giggling girls get to you? Geez, I'd hate to see what you'd be like when someone is genuinely attacking your beliefs or ideals.

the girled turned out to be so uncontrollably attracted to him and called him so often he had to turn his phone off.

I tend to call them "Crazy fucking bitches that aren't worth the energy and need to be 100 feet away from me at all costs"

[smccosker]

Well see, there's yer problem.

Dude, you let a bunch of giggling girls get to you? Geez, I'd hate to see what you'd be like when someone is genuinely attacking your beliefs or ideals.

then don't "attack" me...simple

people need to be nicer

[xyz]

then don't "attack" me...simple

people need to be nicer

Ok, honestly... someone tell me... why does EVERY FUCKING PERSON MISS MY POINT!?

Being an illegal sure can suck sometimes

[Brilliand]

You really think so? Despite how it seems, you really did take their shit, you know. You may have shoved her out of your physical boundaries, but she's still getting the best of you. So what, you've effectively made it so that she's not in your way at the fucking Taco Bell counter—but man, look where she's at now. She's gotten in your head. She's gotten in your emotions, she made you reactive, she caused you to act on an impulse—and that's not all. She made you remember her. She made you think about it. She made you bothered by the situation. Now look, she's even managed to get you to log onto an internet forum to talk about her. And you gave her a shove, some giggles, and maybe even a story to tell her friends at school tomorrow.

You make it sound like he did a good thing. Seriously. She gets in his way, and he gives her all these perks. Talk about repaying evil with good!

[smccosker]

Ok, honestly... someone tell me... why does EVERY FUCKING PERSON MISS MY POINT!?

Being an illegal sure can suck sometimes

i wasnt aware you were trying to make a point??? what is it??? (no sarcasm intended)

[xyz]

My point was don't let little girls get to you. There's plenty of shit out there that warrants pissed off reactions. At least wait until you're married to em.

[Lotus]

You make it sound like he did a good thing. Seriously. She gets in his way, and he gives her all these perks. Talk about repaying evil with good!

Sigh.

Hey Luis, apparently everyone misses my points as well.

[Brilliand]

Sigh.

Hey Luis, apparently everyone misses my points as well.

I got your point, but I found mine more interesting.

[smccosker]

I got your point, but I found mine more interesting.

isnt narcisism lovely?

[Rubicon]

[Animal]

smccosker, you remind me of my kid brother (also SLE)... who's not really a kid anymore. I remember countless times when he'll explode at people for seemingly the stupidest reasons. The reaction is usually highly disproportionate to the situation. I don't think you have anger problems per se. What it sounds like is that a general feeling of not having control over your life is making you feel a little helpless. And that helplessness makes you angry. And that anger comes out in inappropriate places.

Depression is pretty common when this happens. Freud's definition of depression was actually "anger turned inward." So here you found an opportunity to assert yourself. It was a chance to fight against that feeling of helplessness, and you took advantage of it. But thing is this had nothing to do with those teenage girls or the Spanish-speaking cashier or anyone else in that Taco Bell. And the best evidence for this is that, right now, you're still feeling annoyed and maligned. The offense is deeper than that.

You don't actually have to pursue anger management therapy or soul-searching or anyof that business. The anger is just a symptom. I don't know what your life is like right now, but you would probably feel a lot less edgy if you worked toward a sense of true direction in your life - find a purpose that motivates you, break it down into little steps, and start working toward it. This part sounds sappy, but it's important. A good book for this is Barbara Sher's Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want.

In any case, I leave you with the words of Aristotle on anger: "Any idiot can get angry. That's easy. But to get angry with the right person, in the right amount, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power. That is not easy."

You really think so? Despite how it seems, you really did take their shit, you know. You may have shoved her out of your physical boundaries, but she's still getting the best of you. So what, you've effectively made it so that she's not in your way at the fucking Taco Bell counter—but man, look where she's at now. She's gotten in your head. She's gotten in your emotions, she made you reactive, she caused you to act on an impulse—and that's not all. She made you remember her. She made you think about it. She made you bothered by the situation. Now look, she's even managed to get you to log onto an internet forum to talk about her. And you gave her a shove, some giggles, and maybe even a story to tell her friends at school tomorrow.

You say she deserves that, but do you? I'm sorry, but I think that's the demeaning part of it all. She can't touch you, you know. Whatever she did in there was offensive to you, yes. But it's certainly not an invasion. She's just a fucking object in your path. You were the one who attached the significance to it by letting her upset you. If she wants to act like a chair stuck in the doorway, then sure, you're going to want to treat her like one—to move her out of your way. But come on, who is the pathetic one here? The object or the person on the internet bitching about it?

This is actually quite astute.

[jessica129]

Baby has the best answer thus far.