View Poll Results: Which love styles are applicable to you?

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  • Eros

    3 25.00%
  • Ludus

    3 25.00%
  • Storge

    8 66.67%
  • Pragma

    6 50.00%
  • Mania

    0 0%
  • Agape

    5 41.67%
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Thread: Delta love styles

  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Delta love styles

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_styles

    Deltas, which love styles do you have?

    From my understanding, people naturally have multiple at once.

    EDIT

    And there's obviously going to be a bias against Mania

    I'm just going to pretend we're all really honest with ourselves.

    FURTHER EDIT

    And I'd, as always, be interested in hearing personal experience of the various love styles.

    List your enneatype too, if you don't mind.

    I'll digest some possible correlations today~

    (Though, feel free to post up a separate thread yourself.)
    Last edited by male; 02-25-2009 at 07:25 PM.

  2. #2
    Creepy-Cyclops

    Default

    Storge with Pragma.

  3. #3
    jessica129's Avatar
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    Ludus or Agape

    my info is in my sig

    edit...okay, those two are basically complete opposites of each other but that's what I choose.

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    Storge and Agape

  5. #5
    Creepy-male

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Ludus or Agape

    my info is in my sig

    edit...okay, those two are basically complete opposites of each other but that's what I choose.
    I think a Ludic self-appraisal can often result from not having a secure attachment style.

    I think it's also fairly easy to fall into hypothetical situations that only draw out your mental and emotional defence grid, as opposed to a "real" appraisal.

  6. #6
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    ...what?

    Let me put it this way, Ludus for now and Agape when I'm old and have nothing to look forward to besides kids and a husband.

  7. #7
    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Storge
    Looking for an Archnemesis. Willing applicants contact via PM.

    ENFp - Fi 7w6 sp/sx
    The Ineffable IEI
    The Einstein ENTp

    johari nohari
    http://www.mypersonality.info/ssmall/

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    Eros / Agape

    used to think storage but now I have realized that this isn't actually my ideal kind of love (it doesnt work out)
    EII 4w5

    so/sx (?)

  9. #9
    ***el X Mercenary Nebuchadnezzar's Avatar
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    Storge + Pragma combo. 5w6.

    "His feeling that this world is not his Fatherland, and that it does not represent his proper condition, so to speak—his feeling that, basically, he 'comes from afar'—will remain a fundamental element which will not give rise to mystical escapism and spiritual weakness, but rather will enable him to minimise, to relativise, to refer to higher concepts of measure and limit, all that can seem important and definitive to others, starting with death itself, and will confer on him calm force and breadth of vision." — Julius Evola

    SLI-Te | 5w6 sp/so
    Oldham Solitary

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    Nohari

  10. #10
    dattebayo's Avatar
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    storge + agape for me. These are the only ones I am capable of

    but for some reason I like recieving eros + pragma to be honest. I dunno, they just fit for some reaon

    the other kinds would totally turn me off though, seriously
    n00bIEE

  11. #11
    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    Storge and Agape
    Yup. See siggy for type.

    Storge is winning, with agape and pragma tying for second. YES!

    ESTj
    1w2 sp/so 1-2-6
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    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  12. #12
    Twist-Tie Spider iAnnAu's Avatar
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    Storge > Pragma > Ludus

    Eros and Mania are extremely off-putting to me. I've had a handful of SOs (male and female) tell me it was "love at first sight" and my reaction was not positive! And the whole attitude of "needing" a relationship to be OK with yourself doesn't gibe with me, either.

    Agape sounds very idealistic. I think it's only possible after a long, long time with another person. Humans have our foibles, and dealing with reality always incurs messes to clean up. I think it takes years upon years of intentionally growing closer before you can not only honestly feel this way about your lover but also consistently act appropriately to the unique bond you share.
    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Bukowski
    We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
    SLI

  13. #13
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    Wow...surprising. Storge seems incredibly unsatisfying for me. Possibly because I've never been friends with a male before knowing i wanted to be intimate with him...

  14. #14
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    Do you know there is a socionics article about types and love styles?


    Most: Pragma & Eros
    Middle: Agape and Storge
    Least: Ludos, Mania


    Eros can be overwhelming at times. Pragma is very cold in selecting people. I'm generally Pragma about everything save for when I get physically/mentally/emotionally involved, then a huge burning passion and want develops. It can be very consuming and powerful.
    Agape and Storge seem respectable and I "think those things are nice". They're kind of like supplements. I'm pretty sure that they are what the EII 'has' as per the article I mentioned to above. I kind of see them as being complementary to me. Kind of NF/ST
    Ludos, as "love as a game, sounded like "beta bullshit". But looking more at it, it's not really related to beta. Still, that's the least appealing thing. Mania just sounds pathetic - I don't worship people. But I can become overly fixated on them in terms of desire - Eros.
    Last edited by UDP; 02-26-2009 at 06:56 PM.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  15. #15
    redbaron's Avatar
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    all except for Pragma and Mania.

    Probably: Storge>Eros>Agape>Ludus
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Do you know there is a socionics article about types and love styles?
    could you provide us with the link? is it under "articles"?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    * Eros – a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love
    * Ludus – a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest
    * Storge – an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity
    * Pragma – love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative
    * Mania – highly volatile love; obsession; fueled by low self-esteem
    * Agape – selfless altruistic love; spiritual; motherly love

    Storge, Pragma, and Agape are probably the best long-term (though admittedly a bit boring). I think they're sort of necessary, though, for a stable relationship.

    Unfortunately, I've only ever had Eros, Ludus, and Mania, which are sort of hot, in theory, but really bad for an actual relatonship. :/
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

  18. #18

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    Storge seems incredibly unsatisfying for me. Possibly because I've never been friends with a male before knowing i wanted to be intimate with him...
    I don't think Storge rules out being physically attracted to someone. It would make it even better if you really enjoy spending time with the person *and* you found them really attractive. I guess the point of the categories is to create boundaries between the types... but I would think it's possible to have a mixture of things in one relationship.
    IEE

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    could you provide us with the link? is it under "articles"?

    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...cle-t9142.html


    Here is the delta part. There is also an intro at the top of the article

    DIAD: THE MANAGING DIRECTOR - THE HUMANIST


    THE MANAGING DIRECTOR

    Externally severe and efficient, this sotsiotip combines propensity to two contrast enough kinds of love: Pragma and Eros: the ice and a flame, sober calculation and a passionate inclination do by its internally inconsistent person. It prefers to live reason and does not go on an occasion at the feelings. Interests of business at it often prevail of feelings and even above pleasure from dialogue with the favourite person. However periodically it suits the present holidays for the sensations.

    It is the careful and reliable partner. It uses the best efforts for the one whom loves. Its partner can lack compliments and verbal expression of feelings, but the Managing director proves the love in practice, taking up the lion's share of all cares, and happens is quite satisfied, if its partner takes part in a common cause and carries out the problems demanding only attention and patience.

    The partner - the assistant who will not impose to it the will, methods is necessary to it or to dictate the conditions. The managing director could seem absolutely dry, imperous and exacting person if it was not softened somewhat with presence of sensual love - Eros. Propensity to such kind of emotional behaviour does it at times romantic and magnanimous in relation to object of the feelings.

    It is capable to be to the true elect if that suits it as the sexual partner or if it values such partner in life for practical reasons. Its feelings can long burn and brightly though the healthy pragmatism is not alien to them. At absence of reciprocity, it is capable, being guided by feeling of a duty to refuse new hobby. Pragme it subordinates frequently and the erotic feelings though can recollect still long time former love.

    THE HUMANIST

    The combination dimplomatic Storge and inventive Filia does by its ideal partner in life for the Managing director who is hard enough partner. On the one hand, the Humanist allows it to be the head of the family, and with another - demands from the partner of mutual understanding and respect for the interests. It watches, that they with Operating did not have a difference in outlook, in a line of conduct in relation to associates, in education of children, in plans for the future and in everyday affairs.

    In the union with Storge - true family love, such display of love Filia cements the union with quick-tempered, proud and imperous Managing director even more. The humanist as anybody another is able to find the approach to the dualu. It can constrain itself(himself) in dispute and not tell in a temper superfluous.

    The humanist shows the claims in such form, that it becomes a shame to the partner with the incorrect behaviour and sharp statements. Finding-out of attitudes thus terminates not in quarrel, and reconciliation or the promise to reconsider the behaviour.

    The patience and step, care and diplomacy are inherent in the humanist, but it is artless with those whom loves and prefers to speak the truth or to be silent. Its love Storge aspires to the happy harmonious home life full of kindness and mutual concessions. But only not unilateral! The humanist - not sacrificial sotsiotip. And if allows to supervise over itself in practical questions because of the weak fitness to difficulties, absence of penetrative qualities and confidence of it does not mean, that it will allow the satellite to pass a side separating the careful friend from the heartless dictator.

    The humanist spends many sincere forces for re-education of the satellite and approaches it in due course to the ideal. If the partner does not wish to go on compromises, does not give in on its arrangements, it can terminate this union. The managing director is adjusted on creation of strong family: having felt such threat, it can make everything to adjust attitudes.

    The spiritual party of love for the Humanist means much more, than erotic, besides it is timid and consequently requires the initiative partner which actively shows the desires. In love the Humanist is constrained, mistrustful, observant. The slightest deviation in behaviour of the partner perceives painfully and uses the best efforts to keep reciprocity in feelings. Even if for the sake of it it is necessary to show insult and alienation. Repented duala the Humanist forgives and tries to remind of the reason of their disagreements never.

    The managing director does not bear discussion of personal questions and, especially, finding-out of attitudes. Because of it it is inclined to do hasty conclusions and often to make ethical misses which complicate its attitudes with associates. Absence of patience and endurance does it at times sharp and tactless, it does not have not enough not only diplomacy, but also self-criticism. Therefore the patience and persistence of the Humanist with which that tactfully and consistently re-educates restive duala is necessary for it. The humanist acts not only in a role of the tutor, it constantly influences conscience of the Managing director which is sensitive enough and is not alien high moral principles.

    DIAD: THE INSPIRER - THE MASTER

    THE INSPIRER

    As well as the Humanist, has a combination of kinds of love Filia and Storge.

    But Filia here prevails and defines propensity of the Inspirer to harmonious Love only in the event that it feels full spiritual affinity with the partner. Unlike the Humanist, it is the passionate, gusty, violent person in the emotions. As etik and the extrovert, it shows the big interest to new people. Therefore its partner needs to be competitive enough for a long time to keep attention of such not ordinary and restless partner in life.

    The inspirer - big romantik also can long stay in a captivity of the illusions. It is capable to idealize the love and its object so is strong, that can long store in a shower fidelity to the ideal, at all not having any hopes for reciprocity. However, it will not sit, slozha hands. It will win reason, soul and if it is necessary also the body of the person which is for it supervalue, and will do it until will achieve reciprocity. Having disappointed in the ideal, it deeply and strongly experiences.

    It at times does not have common sense, it is capable to make precipitate acts and to go on an occasion at the feelings. At the same time, because of presence in its emotional behaviour of a component of love Storge, it tries to spare the relatives and to not cause complications in their life. It is so got empathy that can offer for the sake of the blessing of others own interests.

    The inspirer is poorly adapted for a life and very much requires care, attention, keenness, protection and support of more realistic, practical and quick person in everyday problems. But it does not bear, when it roughly operate, something to it impose, force it to suffer. It instinctively keeps away from the partner causing to it of suffering.

    It is not capable to be jealous and compete to possible contenders long. It not begins to impose and achieve itself(himself) reciprocity if feels, that it neglect. Because of propensity to love Filia it aspires to equality in all and if someone for it means much also it should be out of competition for the elect. Development other party of its attitudes - Storge otherwise will not receive.

    It is adjusted on sincere attitudes and hard transfers a deceit in any form, therefore its satellite should be true and truthful. For the Inspirer, as well as for the Humanist, the spiritual party of love is very important, but it gives also great value to erotic attitudes. Absence of the initiative from the partner, forces to doubt of completeness of its feelings.

    The inspirer is capable to transform love into a poem, to make its sense of the life, but it can unexpectedly be disappointed in the satellite, not having met full reciprocity or if that does not meet its high ethical requirements. It does by its unpredictable partner.

    THE MASTER

    The master uniting extreme measures - kinds of love Eros and Pragma - as anybody another is capable to give the partner everything, that is necessary for family happiness. From erotic pleasure, ability to a long sensual and spiritual inclination - up to stability and reliability in the private life full of touching care, attention and mutual aid in all. Unlike the Managing director, it has less than pragmatism and more aspiration to harmonious attitudes with the partner.

    The master very much cares of sincere comfort of close people. It is usually constant in the attachments, it is constrained in acts and statements. Very much experiences, if someone will involuntarily offend. However, it not always is capable to recognize the fault at once. Conservatism of love Pragma does by its difficult enough partner, but it willingly goes towards to the favourite person and aspires to restore the lost harmony if sees, that this desire is mutual. Love Eros forces it in many respects to forgive to the elect, but other feeling - Pragma watches that these sins were not beyond admissible.

    It is very constrained in display of feelings, but under a mask of coldness greater sensuality disappears. The master is adjusted on strong and harmonious attitudes what only can give two forms of attitudes most suitable for it - Storge and Pragma. It also is ready to divide interests of the partner and to reach with it necessary spiritual affinity for full harmony in mutual relations, which for this dual pair - the main value in a life. Both of the partner to it actively aspire.

    Trying in all to be such what it would love and respected, the exacting Master to itself aspires to personal growth and development. That it becomes competitive enough to sustain constant comparisons with others. Besides the master loves passionately and sincerely, the truth, not for extraneous eyes. It is able to waken sensuality of the Inspirer often doubting the desires and badly realizing them.

    The inspirer at times seems to it the whimsical child, to bring up which with constant condescension and love - it is a pleasure. The master does not like imperous and self-assured people, their activity - even in a sensuality - suppresses it and does not leave a place for own creativity. This realist too soberly looking for a life, is imposed by optimism of the eternal child-inspirer, helping to avoid the grief and despondency.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  20. #20
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    The profile, as always, is not perfect.
    But this part does fit me very well:
    The managing director does not bear discussion of personal questions and, especially, finding-out of attitudes. Because of it it is inclined to do hasty conclusions and often to make ethical misses which complicate its attitudes with associates. Absence of patience and endurance does it at times sharp and tactless, it does not have not enough not only diplomacy, but also self-criticism. Therefore the patience and persistence of the Humanist with which that tactfully and consistently re-educates restive duala is necessary for it. The humanist acts not only in a role of the tutor, it constantly influences conscience of the Managing director which is sensitive enough and is not alien high moral principles.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Also, I think delta NFs are responsive to "eros", even if they themselves do not initiate things. So in that sense I disagree with the article, that they would be "only" agape and storge.

    I think it make sense in terms of "being receptive to Si" or "receptive to "S", even if they are not strong in it.

    But it does seem to address that in terms of duality: "The spiritual party of love for the Humanist means much more, than erotic, besides it is timid and consequently requires the initiative partner which actively shows the desires."
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  22. #22
    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    ... but I would think it's possible to have a mixture of things in one relationship.
    Yes, I would think so, too.


    I'm not sure what else to say.
    INFj / EII / FiNe
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    "Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G.K. Chesterton

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  23. #23
    Ritella's Avatar
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    Yeah. Call this Ti-devaluing, but I don't necessarily agree with this particular categorization of love. It seems obvious that some relationships would involve several or none of these choices.

    Question: do any Ti-valuers disagree with that statement?
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Yeah. Call this Ti-devaluing, but I don't necessarily agree with this particular categorization of love. It seems obvious that some relationships would involve several or none of these choices.

    Question: do any Ti-valuers disagree with that statement?
    Hmm, I don't agree with it myself either, if you're talking about it being "love is one of these six types" (fin).

    But I didn't think it was that way in the first place, so, oh well.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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