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Thread: Dating philosophies of ENFps and IEE "players"

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    EffyCold thePirate's Avatar
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    Default Dating philosophies of ENFps and IEE "players"

    does anyone know any enfps that are 'players'?

    Date girls with bfs, multiple girls, etc etc..

    What are they like?

    How do they/you deal with the ethical/moral aspect of it?

    What are your dating philosophies in general?!

    I saw us listed as some sort of don juans(which I can see), yet it seems diffcult to balance that sort of lifestyle with the ethical/moral grounds we hold for ourselves.
    Last edited by thePirate; 02-22-2009 at 07:06 AM.
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    yeah I've known ENFp player guys. They do well because they understand emotions. I can see through it easily since I'm the same type. They usually justify it because they are either clear about what they're doing (i.e., not wanting a relationship -- which I have no prob w/ ethically if they are clear w/ the girls they are "dating," or they lead girls on and somehow make peace w/ that, such as "well I never told her flat out I wanted to be exclusive, etc." I knew one ENFp in the military who seemed to get around quite a bit.

    Or, sometimes the ENFp guys jump into relationships super fast, and then sorta look around and decide to back off.

    I did have one guy friend say I was a player, but I explained I only dated them until I could see there was no potential (which I can judge pretty quickly), and was looking for a bf, and then he understood. I was never unclear w/ any of them. I guess I figured it was better to talk with as many people as possible and then narrow that down to one special guy. But it's really hard to find anyone unique and a good match.
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    My cousin is an enfp and used to date a shed load of guys although she's calmed down a little now. When she'd tell me about it i'd sort of shake my head in a sort of disapproving but amused way, and she'd go, "ooh my big cous is looking out for me" as a kind of joke but at the same time she'd kinda like it. I'm sort of like an amused parent who lets her get away with things, which we joke about but at the same time it's a calming influence which she does kinda like. No real pressure but sort of there, if that makes sense, well it does to me haha.

    As to morals, don't really come into it as I know she has a good heart and can make me feel nice the way she remembers me and things at times. It's kinda sentimental but cool. She doesn't mean any harm she's just active with an active social life and she's not really getting hurt as far as I know, or anyone else I think. So it's all good really.

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    I think socionics misleads when it suggests "ethical" types are somehow more ethical than, say, logicals. IEE can easily become pretty shitty and egoistic. Often, when they feel they are in a position of power when it comes to emotional stuff, they can play with people not unlike a small child killing ants "just to see what happens".

    This is part of the "social scientist" nature of the IEE: they like to experiment with people, often ignoring that their subjects may truly suffer as a result of the said experiments.
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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    does anyone know any enfps that are 'players'?

    Date girls with bfs, multiple girls, etc etc..

    What are they like?

    How do they/you deal with the ethical/moral aspect of it?

    What are your dating philosophies in general?!

    I saw us listed as some sort of don juans(which I can see), yet it seems diffcult to balance that sort of lifestyle with the ethical/moral grounds we hold for ourselves.
    Well my friends/family say I'm a player since I'm always dating someone and when I break up it takes me a few weeks or so to find a new date. To some people it seems weird as they consider it is natural to take some time off before dating while I don't really ever saw that need.

    I have never dated girls with boyfriends but if I like the person very much and I would see she is not really in love or happy I doubt it would stop me from flirting with her. I have been wooing one girl which was interested in other guy, we ended up together although not for long. I can be pretty determined if I like the person.

    I have never cheated, no multiple girlfriends or things like that and I really hate that sort of thing. If i'm interested in someone else I will break up first and then ask the person out, usually though I already know something about the person. When I date someone it does not stop me from talking/chatting with opposite sex and it usually has nothing in it (as in i'm not interested I just like talking) but on some occasions of course I happen to like another person and then I just break up my current relationship.

    I think we are listed as don juans due to our flirty nature. To us it is a normal conversation to another it can seem as some seduction play or whatever. Our complimentary nature can be misunderstood as wooing but in general we simply trying to get to know people and have nothing in mind.
    Last edited by Simon Ssmall; 02-23-2009 at 09:39 AM.
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  6. #6
    Creepy-Cyclops

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    I think enfp's are pretty flirtatious but I'm not sure if they mean to be, but at same time I think they enjoy attention.

    On thinking about it I haven't known any to have affairs with married men etc. Not that they wouldn't but it's just been my experience that they wouldn't have to as they are rarely short of admirers.

    Probably that I am naturally reserved but at the same time..not, makes them more intrigued to be interested in me, maybe applies for other istp's too.

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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    I think enfp's are pretty flirtatious but I'm not sure if they mean to be, but at same time I think they enjoy attention.

    On thinking about it I haven't known any to have affairs with married men etc. Not that they wouldn't but it's just been my experience that they wouldn't have to as they are rarely short of admirers.

    Probably that I am naturally reserved but at the same time..not, makes them more intrigued to be interested in me, maybe applies for other istp's too.
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    yes. i mean, they're generally a bit emotionally flighty.
    i know 2 who I wouldn't call "players," but they weren't exactly monagmists either.
    a female IEE i know cheated with her bf multiple times. a male IEE i know cheated on A (his gf) with girl B, broke up with A, then cheated on B (his then gf) with A. They eventually found out about each other and wrote him a note that they would never speak to him again. he was really upset about that because he valued them both as friends, so then he hooked up with me, and blew me off. lol.
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    Jude Law.

    So here's the thing. They really like one girl, but they can't stop seeing the potential in other girls. (Or guys- this is an equal opportunity thing.) I had this trouble before finding True Love (tm) with my husband. I didn't cheat, but I frequently broke up with Bachelor #1 to date Bachelor #2.
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