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Thread: Some conflict pairs have better relations than others?

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Default Some conflict pairs have better relations than others?

    I've noticed some conflictor pairs (ISTj-ENFp...) have a "better" relation than others, making cooperation between conflictors somewhat possible. For example, ENFps and ISTjs get along well, as long as they don't spend much time together, but ESTps and INFjs I know can't have a minute of peace.

    Any thoughts on this? Are dynamic conflictors more pragmatic when it comes to make things work and they ignore their conflictor instead of having arguments with him/her?
    ILE "Searcher"
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    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    Hm... All the ESTps that I personally know (and have identified) - we get along fine. There is sometimes a natural tension in terms of differing desired directions, and often a sense of complete disconnection (kind of like trying to talk to an alien), but not any animosity or fighting. Up to this point, anyway. It may help that all of those ESTps are quality people and that we each have respect for the other. And that usually we have other, non-socionic, common grounds and interests. I've spent several years working with and for an ESTp, and I've enjoyed most of it. We have the ability to work well together. It's not always the easiest, but it's definitely possible.
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    It just depends on how close the two become. Obviously if a pair doesn't become close, they won't have as strong of conflict relations. ... stupid question
    INTp

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    I was wondering if this was a trend as well, my enfp friend gets along ok with my istj roomate but they just ignore each other because they have no interest in the others affairs. But all it takes is time, as I got to know with my conflicter. I was intially wary of my sisters boyfriend and not without good reason....Got aquainted with him then BOOM John madden Te anger. Covert nervousness my ass. Now I can't be around him for more than a few minutes without feeling it drip off him. A dynamic of his facial expression: I also happen to have a quasi identical roomate....who also has rage outbursts...over bullshit. I need some dual contact asap.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    I worked with an ENFj before, and I couldn't work with him. Nor could he I think fathom how to work with me. Although when work was aside we did have some OK-interesting conversations, so I probably could have got on with him as a friend without too much in-depth contact.

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    I got along no problem with my ISTp brother in law, and at times even enjoy his company.
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    I've known of a few LSI-IEE relationships though they were friends of friends of friends so I'm not aware of a whole lot of detail. It seemed to me like as long as they were just hanging out and having fun, it worked fine. They were very easy going with one other. Problems started when one needed more serious kind of help and the other tried to provide it, or when they needed to get more involved over some project. But these relationships do seem to proceed better at least in initial states than between Ip-Ej conflicting types.

    Dynamic types are more aware of the past dynamics of their relationships, so if things are going down the drain, and have been for a while, they are quick to take note of this. Static types only see certain episodes of their relationship and they are not always able to link them together. It seems like for them each day/week is akin the beginning of a new chapter. It may be that because of this they have renewed hopes of fixing things and continue on together.

    Another thing is that Static types are more stable in their opinions and choices than Dynamic types. If they have chosen to be with someone, there are likely some kind of "static" reasons backing up this decision that they won't let go of any time soon. Dynamic types are much more fickle in this respect. They don't have a problem changing their preferences if the feedback that they get is discouraging.

    My suspicion has been that due to above reasons Static types are more likely to stay in poor relationships. They don't seem to respond to them as acutely as Dynamic types.

    The milder conflict relations seem to be EII-SLE and LSI-IEE.
    ESIs and ILEs mostly ignore one another.
    Last edited by silke; 08-22-2013 at 03:27 AM.

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    Creepy-Snaps

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    Hm... All the ESTps that I personally know (and have identified) - we get along fine. There is sometimes a natural tension in terms of differing desired directions, and often a sense of complete disconnection (kind of like trying to talk to an alien), but not any animosity or fighting. Up to this point, anyway. It may help that all of those ESTps are quality people and that we each have respect for the other. And that usually we have other, non-socionic, common grounds and interests. I've spent several years working with and for an ESTp, and I've enjoyed most of it. We have the ability to work well together. It's not always the easiest, but it's definitely possible.
    OMG. Getting along with somebody who sees the world completely different than you? =MATURITY!!!

    Having stuff in common helps.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    I've known quite a few LSI-IEE relationships though they were friends of friends of friends so I don't a whole lot of detail. It seemed to me like as long as they were just hanging out and having fun that it worked fine. Since both of them have a perceiving function extraverted in the ego, they were very easy going with each other. Problems started when one needed help and the other tried to provide it, or when they needed to seriously cooperate on some project. But these relationships do seem to proceed better at least in initial states than between conflictors that have extraverted judging function in the ego.
    You still enjoying bumping old threads? I guess it's good to use the search function, to avoid repeats and all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Dew View Post
    You still enjoying bumping old threads? I guess it's good to use the search function, to avoid repeats and all.
    yeah I don't want to start new threads when there are 20+ pages of old threads for me to bump
    then those of us new to the forum can then add what we know to them rather that starting more threads on exactly same subjects

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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    yeah I don't want to start new threads when there are 20+ pages of old threads for me to bump
    then those of us new to the forum can then add what we know to them rather that starting more threads on exactly same subjects
    <.<
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    I have several LSI friends, and we get along fine. We don't spend a huge amount of one-on-one time together, though - we probably subconsciously know we'll never be best friends.

    I know an IEE whose father is LSI, and WOW is their relationship bad. I consider them both healthy, well-adjusted people, but they bring out the worst in each other. He moved back in with his parents when his marriage (to an LSI! ouch!) dissolved after only a year, and b/c he had relocated for his spouse, he was jobless. Within weeks you could see the change in both of them. Bad treatment on both sides. They both think there's something "flawed" in the other person's point of view and are forever trying to change the other person's method of thinking. It's almost like they try to pick fights with each other.

    Anyway, living under the same roof as the other person is much different than being friends with them.
    IEE

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    Default Least conflicting conflict pair of types?

    Is there any specific Conflict pair that seems less conflicting than the others?


    The reason I'm asking is because I have a EII friend and I also have an SLE friend. They are not friends but they do know each other and are around each other a bit at parties and what not. Sometimes the SLE friend makes an ass of himself (as he is want to do). The EII friend is such a sweetheart that I have never seen her seem upset or irritated with him or anything of the sort. Then I was thinking about what a forgiving kind person she is and it got me to wondering if a conflict relation with an EII would be easier than a conflict relation with some other more "difficult" types.

    For clarity, I am well aware that my EII friend is her own person and that not all EII are the same and as kind as her, etc

    I'm also not discounting the fact that it is still a relation of conflict. I don't think my EII friend is going to go out and start befriending all the SLE's she comes across. I am merely wondering if anyone has any theories or experiences of certain conflict pairs getting along better than others?

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