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Thread: The type most likely to cheat in a relationship

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    Default The type most likely to cheat in a relationship

    I've noticed that some types are more likely to cheat in relationships than other. I know two ESFj girls who cheat on their boyfriends (although they say they love them very much). Is it because of Si? Which function makes it easy to cheat?

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    I have never cheated as it goes deeply against my morals. I'd rather be honest and then act then hide something.

    And I'm Si leading.
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    I've noticed that some types are more likely to cheat in relationships than other. I know two ESFj girls who cheat on their boyfriends (although they say they love them very much). Is it because of Si? Which function makes it easy to cheat?
    I don't think that something like the propensity to cheat in a relationship can be directly correlated with any one function in particular. You might come across people who seem to associate cheating - or promiscuity, in general - w Si or Se [STs in particular, it seems], but whether a person cheats or not depends upon many more factors than socionics alone can account for.

    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    I have never cheated as it goes deeply against my morals. I'd rather be honest and then act then hide something.

    And I'm Si leading.
    Same.

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    Hehe this thread has been done a few times in the past. Its always amusing to watch the accusations fly.
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    With Fi types I think they may cheat if the relationship is crap.. where the Fe type will cheat at like a retarded little party or something. The ESFp I know is really loyal to her boyfriend she has right now, but there have been boyfriends in the past who she just kind of didn't give a shit about in the first place. The type that cheats most from what I've seen is ENFjs... I expect every ENFj I meet to have some sort of strange sexual fetish which I didn't see coming.
    INTp

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    Se leading *might* be more likely to cheat. I think it has more to do with other factors.

    I know an SEI who would never cheat, no matter how badly he wanted to, because he's extremely conflict-averse to the point of almost feeling sick when he thinks about doing something wrong or rocking the boat in any way. He would feel way too guilty to cheat. And being that uncomfortable is hard for SEIs. lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedrat View Post
    With Fi types I think they may cheat if the relationship is crap.. where the Fe type will cheat at like a retarded little party or something.
    This seems like it might make sense as far as the reasons a person valuing Fi or Fe might cheat, but I don't think it answers the question of whether one type is more likely to cheat than another.

    I'd rather just end a bad relationship than cheat on the guy - for one thing I would feel really guilty about it; for another, I don't see any reason to carry on with something that isn't working. If someone is cheat-on-able, he's dump-able.

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    I'd rather just end a bad relationship than cheat on the guy - for one thing I would feel really guilty about it; for another, I don't see any reason to carry on with something that isn't working. If someone is cheat-on-able, he's dump-able.
    everybody says this but keep in mind that if you have an entire life built with someone including kids, friends, infrastructure, that's going to be a lot harder to just dump her/him than the temptation of having something secret on the side. Of course I'm NOT advocating this! It's a horrible idea! Just pointing it out that it's easier said than done, in some situations. (I think you were talking about a more casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing though?)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    Me, me! My type is!!
    Hehe, just kidding. Just thought it'd be nice to have something in the thread besides 'I would never cheat and I'm such and such a type.'
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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    A lot of times it's just hard to refuse it when people are throwing themselves at you for one reason or another.
    Eh, not to me. I don't think it's very hard to refuse it at all.
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    I'd never cheat, but have hooked up with a few people who have significant others...lol. I won't put up with a cheater either. Screw that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    I'd never cheat, but have hooked up with a few people who have significant others...lol. I won't put up with a cheater either. Screw that.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

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    Cheaters! ISFp, ESTp, ESFp, ISTp and ENFp
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    Cheaters! ISFp, ESTp, ESFp, ISTp and ENFp
    Hmm... that's each irrational ST and SF - why only one irrational NF?

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    I think I don't know any INFp in person, and xNTps are usually loyal.

    On rationals, if they cheat, they cover it well.
    ILE "Searcher"
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    I think I don't know any INFp in person, and xNTps are usually loyal.

    On rationals, if they cheat, they cover it well.
    Ah, gotcha - those are based on experience/observation then? Yikes. You've seen a lot of duplicity in your day

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    I'd never cheat, but have hooked up with a few people who have significant others...lol. I won't put up with a cheater either. Screw that.
    Yeah. I've hooked up with a few people with sig others as well. I'm not sure if it's entirely the right thing to do, but then, I've done it when i'm single. Also, I don't play for Chelsea or drive for Formula 1, i'm just an ordinary guy, so I can hardly pick and choose

    When it comes to being in a relationship, I don't put up with the cheatahs. You can "spot" a "cheatah" a mile away. Groan.

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    I still think that it's easier to cheat for S people and maybe not only cheat but have some sexual contanct with people they do not feel attached to.
    I've been thinking about it for some time and that's just how it goes with my friends. N people are more idealistic, I'd say. And S find it easier to divide sex from feelings. My ESFj and ESFp friends cheated on their significant boyfriends which none of my N friends did.
    I'd say N people are more prone to be 40-year-old virgin.
    I think cheating is not that type related but finding it easy to have some sexual contacts IS. And so the story goes .

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    I still think that it's easier to cheat for S people and maybe not only cheat but have some sexual contanct with people they do not feel attached to.
    I've been thinking about it for some time and that's just how it goes with my friends. N people are more idealistic, I'd say. And S find it easier to divide sex from feelings. My ESFj and ESFp friends cheated on their significant boyfriends which none of my N friends did.
    I'd say N people are more prone to be 40-year-old virgin.
    I think cheating is not that type related but finding it easy to have some sexual contacts IS. And so the story goes .
    In a general term yes, but depending on how you say to what is meant to be said, these stuff cause big controversy.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
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    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    I still think that it's easier to cheat for S people and maybe not only cheat but have some sexual contanct with people they do not feel attached to.
    I've been thinking about it for some time and that's just how it goes with my friends. N people are more idealistic, I'd say. And S find it easier to divide sex from feelings. My ESFj and ESFp friends cheated on their significant boyfriends which none of my N friends did.
    I'd say N people are more prone to be 40-year-old virgin.
    I think cheating is not that type related but finding it easy to have some sexual contacts IS. And so the story goes .
    In my experience yes this is probablly true. Sensors are more sensual, they have less reservations about hooking up in general. I could argue that they are more focused on the physical and sex in general. Still theres plenty that dont cheat and plenty of N types that do. Yes sensors tend to get laid more than intuitives, ive also seen this trend. I know an ESFp guy who to my knowledge doesn't and wouldn't cheat on his girlfriend. They broke up a month or so ago, so he slept with 5 girls over the three day weekend. Then they got back together again.

    Still, i also know an ENFp girl who has a young child at home and still lives with his father and she recently cheated on him (kissed another guy on a few occasions). She claims she is unhappy at home..

    The more i think about it anyway, the more i think about the idea of cheating as being a purely human concept. Animals dont really care about cheating. Its just sex. We are very attatchment focused, and of course from an evolutionary perspective it makes sense for humans to want to stay with the same partner so child rearing is more successful.

    *Im putting on my flame suit after this post*
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    ^^^ lol.
    i know an SLI and an IEE who have cheated on their BFs on a few occasions. The SLI feels more guilty about it, I think.
    I really doubt there's a correlation here, though, for some reason, I'm having a hard time picturing a cheating EII or ESI.
    EII; E6(w5)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    ^^^ lol.
    i know an SLI and an IEE who have cheated on their BFs on a few occasions. The SLI feels more guilty about it, I think.
    I really doubt there's a correlation here, though, for some reason, I'm having a hard time picturing a cheating EII or ESI.
    actually I can picture enneagram 7 easily cheating than the enneagram One(where i just read a description how they would almost never cheat and always so prefect and do the right thing with the people they love). I can't see an EII or ESI cheat either, I could however see ENFp/ESFp do so especially the Enneagram 7. so all in all and I hate to say this becuase so many people are against it, THAT IT IS TYPED RELATED. but it doesn't not mean 100% that XXXx will cheat and XXXx will not or enneagram #.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    I've noticed that some types are more likely to cheat in relationships than other. I know two ESFj girls who cheat on their boyfriends (although they say they love them very much). Is it because of Si? Which function makes it easy to cheat?
    Girls who cheat in their boyfriends usually do indeed they say they love them, and it is true. Women who love men are more likely to cheat on those men. Sex and love are two conflicting opposites. You can not love someone 100% yet be sexual with that same person 100%. It is impossible. I would say that the girls who cheat on their significant others do so because their relationship is one based on utter friendship, with little sex involvement except for maybe every so often. That is why the girls are cheating and yet say that they love their other.

    I would say that as far as types go there really is no statistic on who cheats on whom except for maybe the type dynamics where it is easy for one type to love another with or without return. Rather, it is a combination I think.

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    I don't really see sex as something aside from something purely physical so it's easy for me to downplay the effect it could have on a partner if I cheated on them. That's so bad. That's how it is though. If I'm in a relationship with you and i'm not being satisfied in that area, you can bet i'll be straying. I see it as common knowledge that you should keep your partner satisfied so I have a really easy time rationalizing it. Oh well.

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    I think any person in any relationship in the world is vulnerable to cheating if they're not getting something that they want out of their relationship - physical or emotional. That something may even be completely unrealistic. Depends on the person. Either they realize that their partner isn't perfect and figure out how to solve whatever it is (socionics might actually come into play there with their ability to communicate what's going on), or they rationalize their affair by believing that their current situation is unworkable.

    People are vulnerable in different ways. Some people would be more vulnerable to their physical senses, but other people would be vulnerable to a powerful mental or emotional connection. Provide enough of the 'right' opportunity, a belief that your partner can't or won't communicate with you (might or might not be true), and heap on some grudges you've been holding over his head (things he 'should' know)...and you end up cheating on him.
    IEE

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    OK, I'm going to sound like a sap or something similar here, but I haven't cheated on a partner. I guess the closest I came to actually going behind someones back, was when I was 19 or something and having a snog with some girl at the dancing, proceeding to finish the relationship with my partner that same weekend anyway (it was already over as we both knew before that point.)

    So I dunno, in a relationship I haven't had problems were the girl doesn't want to have sex, we seem to be able to balance it out with each other. Maybe if I was in a relationship where I wasn't getting any at all then I would go with someone else, but then I think I'd need to like the other person physically and emotionally, so in that situation I'd be considering (and probably would) leave my other half anyway.

    I suppose it becomes more difficult when there are children involved, but then, i'd like to think if I got to the stage of having a family with someone, that we'd be able to work that sort of shit out.

    Although, I see people going behind their partners backs so often, and then when you ask people if they would, just about all of them say "definately not." So statistically at least some of them are lying. I've sometimes wondered if i'm the only person who even puts a value in being faithful. I dunno, it might even be something to do with me wanting to establish and maintain the good feeling I get out of my Fi hidden agenda being fufilled, with some sort of loyalty-connection thing.

    Maybe I should experiment more with this two timing thing, maybe I am missing out on a lot of fun..

    @Jessica, ugh, am I starting to talk about my life now?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I don't really see sex as something aside from something purely physical so it's easy for me to downplay the effect it could have on a partner if I cheated on them. That's so bad. That's how it is though. If I'm in a relationship with you and i'm not being satisfied in that area, you can bet i'll be straying. I see it as common knowledge that you should keep your partner satisfied so I have a really easy time rationalizing it. Oh well.
    Same.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hostage_Child View Post
    q4t
    I second that.
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    But to cheat is to be so wrapped up in your own ego. I'd forgive it if the guy was totally pissed (if not then I'd actually cut his dick off), but I think that if you give any kind of a shit about the person you are with, then you wouldn't cheat on them (unless you were totally pissed or they were a complete nutjob, who wouldn't let you go). Why be with someone that doesn't satisfy you, that you don't even care about (and if you cheat on them then you clearly don't care about them, only about them in relation to you - what they can and can't do for you)? Just seperate or dump them, get some balls, and self-respect as well as respect for the other person.

    I have a SEE friend that always cheats, and she sleeps with her best friends boyfriends 0.o. She just seems so afraid of being lonely.

    So I couldn't say I would never cheat, but I'd be a fucking mess before I did.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dinki View Post
    But to cheat is to be so wrapped up in your own ego. I'd forgive it if the guy was totally pissed (if not then I'd actually cut his dick off), but I think that if you give any kind of a shit about the person you are with, then you wouldn't cheat on them (unless you were totally pissed or they were a complete nutjob, who wouldn't let you go). Why be with someone that doesn't satisfy you, that you don't even care about (and if you cheat on them then you clearly don't care about them, only about them in relation to you - what they can and can't do for you)? Just seperate or dump them, get some balls, and self-respect as well as respect for the other person.

    I have a SEE friend that always cheats, and she sleeps with her best friends boyfriends 0.o. She just seems so afraid of being lonely.

    So I couldn't say I would never cheat, but I'd be a fucking mess before I did.
    fair enough. but what if you loved more than one person? that's possible. I've seen it happen. One woman I know couldn't choose between her husband and her lover, even after the husband found out about the affair and wanted to reconcile. She wouldn't drop her lover so the husband filed for divorce. She didn't hate her husband, FAR FROM IT, she loved him, they had been married for 15 years (no kids luckily), but he wasn't completely meeting her needs and she met this other guy and.... she wasn't out there looking to have an affair, if this particular guy hadn't come into her life, she'd still be married to her husband. Probably relatively happily.

    And now, NOW that husband of hers is married to a new wife and they just had a baby! He's wildly happy now! AND she's married to the guy she had the affair with. Also happy.

    Life's weird you know. WEIRD.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    fair enough. but what if you loved more than one person? that's possible. I've seen it happen. One woman I know couldn't choose between her husband and her lover, even after the husband found out about the affair and wanted to reconcile. She wouldn't drop her lover so the husband filed for divorce. She didn't hate her husband, FAR FROM IT, she loved him, they had been married for 15 years (no kids luckily), but he wasn't completely meeting her needs and she met this other guy and.... she wasn't out there looking to have an affair, if this particular guy hadn't come into her life, she'd still be married to her husband. Probably relatively happily.

    And now, NOW that husband of hers is married to a new wife and they just had a baby! He's wildly happy now! AND she's married to the guy she had the affair with. Also happy.

    Life's weird you know. WEIRD.
    lol @ the 1% of the time this situation actually works out and everyone's happy. Good for them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    lol @ the 1% of the time this situation actually works out and everyone's happy. Good for them.
    I know it! But isn't it odd? And then you think well, should she have made a different choice? And of course the answer is yes--she should never have cheated in the first place. The ends don't justify the means. But still, it kind of makes my head hurt to think about it.
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    Lol
    I started this thread because I've been thinking about cheating lately. I've always perceived it as something really wrong but I somehow changed my mind. People who have never been in such situations will never understand that.
    First of all, my ex boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend with me. And the worst thing is he doesn't regret it and I don't regret it too. Think whatever you want, those who follow my another thread know what I mean.
    The second thing is I have this ESFj girlfriend and she's, I think, sexoholic. Which means she's sick. She has a fiance but she's cheating on him all the time. She knows it's bad but she really needs it. The first time she did it, she told it to her boyfriend. But she just hurt him. Now, she just doesn't tell it to him... I know it sounds a bit sad but everybody is different ... and she truely loves the guy she's with she's just so much into sex and chemistry between people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel von Himmel View Post
    Girls who cheat in their boyfriends usually do indeed they say they love them, and it is true. Women who love men are more likely to cheat on those men. Sex and love are two conflicting opposites. You can not love someone 100% yet be sexual with that same person 100%. It is impossible.
    Um, what the fuck are you talking about? How would you know this?
    maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
    maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
    go ask the frog what the scorpion knows

  37. #37
    xyz's Avatar
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    What if you cheat on someone with TWO girls...... at the same time??
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel von Himmel View Post
    Girls who cheat in their boyfriends usually do indeed they say they love them, and it is true. Women who love men are more likely to cheat on those men. Sex and love are two conflicting opposites. You can not love someone 100% yet be sexual with that same person 100%. It is impossible.
    I don't really understand this either. Maybe you could elaborate?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinball Wizard! View Post
    What if you cheat on someone with TWO girls...... at the same time??
    well then obviously it doesn't count.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    This thread starts to become philosophical cause if we want to answer some detailed questions we need to know what love is, happiness is, what are the values...
    It's different for everybody.

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