Jokes that your conflictor makes to try to form a good relation with you

[07490]

Have you noticed that when your conflictor tries to make a joke to you, with good intention to try to lighten things up with you and them, you tend to get offended right when they said it, but then in a second thought they are actually trying to have a sense of humor with you, and when that second when they said it to you, you kind of freeze, you don't know if it was an insult or not, then as they have seen you react like this, they will tell you "just kidding", but still after they told you that they were kidding, you still get a heavy offended since you thought the joke was out of place. But it doesn't seem to be so bad with super-ego relationship, not that Super-ego relationship is anything better than conflicting relationship by any means.

[Warlord]

I don't know about the forum, I rarely interact with Cracka. But an ESE once tried to vacuum clean me as a "joke", apparently my work coat was too dusty.

But this ESE was passive-aggressive against me, while at the same time trying to appear "friendly".

[tiny_dancer]

I've noticed this happens. Whether or not I get offended depends what they're joking about. Most often, if it's a general comment, I don't realize that it's a joke. I think "??" .. THEN I realize it's a joke a split-second too late, and then laugh...but it's just not the same *sigh*

This doesn't always happen, though. It really depends on how well I know them. Then I kind of get their sense of humor and it doesn't throw me as much.

[iAnnAu]

My company just hired about a dozen new people, and my manager has given me the responsibility of setting everyone up with desks, phones, etc (no, this is nothing like my job description, and no, I don't like doing this kind of stuff).

One of the more intractable issues I'm trying to work out is transferring an 800 number so that franchisees can call in for service. The guy who is in charge of answering that line strongly (VERY strongly) reminds me of a friend of mine who's ENFj, from facial to verbal expressions ...

So we're having to talk quite a bit to get everything ironed out, and in the first conversation, I made a joke, complete with exaggeration to emphasize that I'm not serious, and he took me seriously anyway. I can't remember specifically what I said, but I immediately thought of socionics ...

He recovered swiftly once he understood it was a joke, and has remained quite affable since then, but because he's had to rely on me for so much, he's taken up the habit of calling me "goddess" when he comes to ask me for something, and even though I know he's just being playfully appreciative, I don't quite know how to break it to him that it's annoying. I get the feeling he wants it to be some kind of inside joke we share, but I don't want it!

[xyz]

My conflictors tend to miss my jokes as well.

Eh, And I tend to miss most of theirs. They do tend to be fun for 1-2 minute stretches though.

[redbaron]

yes, it's happened to me. I often cannot tell if they're joking or not, I have to watch them very carefully. Usually I can pull out a correct response (I mean, I'm IEI so that helps!) but there is that split second of "is he/she trying to be funny? cause...um, notsomuch"

[crazedrat]

no, but when ESE tries to joke with me it often seems out of place, and I find myself critiquing them because of this as a natural reaction .. usually they take this as "I'm a dick", and they may be right in a certain way. Although we also can share good jokes at times, too... if we both feel the same about a topic, which happens occasionally

[redbaron]

With the two ILIs that I'm friends with, I find myself always pointing out to my ESE husband how funny they are (they both have really dry humor) to try to convince him (usually it's due to some facebook comment) and he just rolls his eyes. I feel bad but I don't get how he doesn't like them! I mean, I understand it better now because of socionics but I'm still sometimes amazed to see it play out in real life.

[Satan]

I don't know about the forum, I rarely interact with Cracka. But an ESE once tried to vacuum clean me as a "joke", apparently my work coat was too dusty.

But this ESE was passive-aggressive against me, while at the same time trying to appear "friendly".

i don't think i'd appreciate that too. about as much as he would a fist in his face.

[Park]

Have you noticed that when your conflictor tries to make a joke to you, with good intention to try to lighten things up with you and them, you tend to get offended right when they said it, but then in a second thought they are actually trying to have a sense of humor with you, and when that second when they said it to you, you kind of freeze, you don't know if it was an insult or not, then as they have seen you react like this, they will tell you "just kidding", but still after they told you that they were kidding, you still get a heavy offended since you thought the joke was out of place. But it doesn't seem to be so bad with super-ego relationship, not that Super-ego relationship is anything better than conflicting relationship by any means.

Yeah, that tends to happen a lot with certain people, presumably EIEs (or ESEs), but I 've learnt to recognize your jokes Numbers, and I like them. They remind me of a friend I once had who's helped and supported me a lot in life. He had the same sense of humor as you.

[betterthan]

OH GOD.

Lol, yes.

I get really offended - because the jokes always insinuate I am like a total unlovable failure, and I often hit jokes back and they get equally shirty. Ha, what a mess!

[Satan]

allie, fwiw i've been known to do that

and also not directly give it back for "having the wrong attitude" and then passing it to someone else that can give it back.

[Satan]

i also used to borrow pens for other people often too. usually from girls for guys. some wanted to hold me responsible if they didn't get it back.

but like some people responded severely to being asked for a pen too. and some responded badly to being asked for a pen for someone else, because the other person should ask directly etc. some made it more direct etc. people are different creatures.

[Mediator Kam]

"lol you fucked up" lolool they say.

I'm like lol you just fucked up at making me laugh.

[07490]

Yeah, that tends to happen a lot with certain people, presumably EIEs (or ESEs), but I 've learnt to recognize your jokes Numbers, and I like them. They remind me of a friend I once had who's helped and supported me a lot in life. He had the same sense of humor as you.

I used to have a lifelong friend whose an SLI, I have known him since childhood and only then we kinda disagree at stuff which end it, I still do very much trust him.

[Park]

I used to have a lifelong friend whose an SLI, I have known him since childhood and only then we kinda disagree at stuff which end it, I still do very much trust him.

One of the things this guy liked about me is that he knew he could always rely on my trust and loyalty in return for the support he gave me.

[Christy B]

I have noticed that when Estp is trying to be nice to me or make a friendship they will do or show me something that seems really really obvious (and frankly pointless). For example lighting a lighter but not to light a cig or a candle but just like "look I am lighting this lighter"... hmm.. ok, yes, you are lighting that lighter.. great.. now what??? At that point I am confused and it shows on my face....

It's like they are displaying some kind of control over the Se environment, which is fine but I just don't understand the "point" and then I kinda sit there waiting for the next step.. waiting for the "why" but it doesn't come... My lack of positive response to these Se displays only makes the ESTp more uncomfortable and unsure, they seem as if they don't know what to do next to gain control. They then usually end up doing some other obvious Se action like opening the door loudly and then closing it again and looking over to see if I was paying attention.. its weird.

(I realize that what I just wrote might not make any sense)

[Minde]

Have you noticed that when your conflictor tries to make a joke to you, with good intention to try to lighten things up with you and them, you tend to get offended right when they said it, but then in a second thought they are actually trying to have a sense of humor with you, and when that second when they said it to you, you kind of freeze, you don't know if it was an insult or not, then as they have seen you react like this, they will tell you "just kidding", but still after they told you that they were kidding, you still get a heavy offended since you thought the joke was out of place. But it doesn't seem to be so bad with super-ego relationship, not that Super-ego relationship is anything better than conflicting relationship by any means.

Yes, actually. When my conflictor makes jokes to me, I often either feel squashed or embarrassed and usually tongue-tied, though touched that they'd try. And, yes, it often does seem at least somewhat offensive, or at the very least not something I'd joke about. When my superego makes jokes, sometimes I get it and sometimes I just think he's weird.

[07490]

Most of my Conflictor, especailly the opposite SEX always tell me to SHUT THE FUCK UP. and its funny becuase I know they are my conflictor and I tried to avoid them and don't speak a word to them, but suprisingly they will tell me to shut it even if what is coming from my mouth was constructive and not directed to them. Maybe I hurt their SI enviornment.

[Park]

You brake my heart, numbers, you.break.my.heart.

[07490]

You brake my heart, numbers, you.break.my.heart.

I am sorry that, that happen. The truth must come out.

[tereg]

I'm an expert on being a man so let me show you what you need to know about getting in touch with your inner man.

[tereg]

I feel like this could be a winner's circle clue on the $25,000 Pyramid, like "Things your conflictor would say"


Uhh, "I think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread because I'm a man and "

THINGS MALE CHAUVINISTS SAY

" and men are naturally the smarter sex, and every man needs to know the ins and outs of being a man and survival skills and being out in the wild"

THINGS TED NUGENT WOULD SAY

" and people are generally idiots that don't have any common sense whatsoever which is why I wrote a book to tell people about things every man must know"

THINGS DOUCHEBAGS SAY

" and I know how to dominate"

THINGS PEOPLE YOU DON'T GET ALONG WITH SAY... PEOPLE YOU CONFLICT WITH

[jewels]

I don't have a problem w/ humor w/ ISTjs. Actually I've known some really funny ones. They usually take some topic I bring up and run with it and it becomes and on-going thing.

It's more the squashing of my Ne and Fi that bothers me, but the jokes they make aren't really offensive. But I think I understand ISTjs and the potential ways they would piss me off if I didn't understand them, so I really don't have a hard time getting along with them. They sometimes confused my Fi for Fe and they like that.

[tereg]

This is a post by iAnnAu from this thread that was made in that 2 week window that she has requested be restored:

Update: he moved from "goddess" to "miracle worker" and instead of it being like some kind of "inside joke" ... now he's obviously saying it so that other people can hear him call me that.

Gah. Instead of feeling appreciated, it makes me not want to talk to him at all.

But here's an interesting thing: there's a guy in my workout classes who is overtly gregarious. He makes sure to know the names of every person at *least* on his side of the room, and to say hello to everybody. And he's taken a kind of particular shine to me ... as in, whenever he sees me he takes more time talking to me than to most of the other people he's greeting. We've talked about religion (because he's taking a class), running (he's a longtime runner & I'm trying to get into it), music, etc. We've exchanged books to talk about and when I and another girl got to talking about music, he indicated interest in some of the bands I'd mentioned, so I burned him a bunch of MP3s to CD.

And I just cannot put my finger on exactly what it is about the first guy's attention that turns me off, and the second guy's that I don't mind at all. The first guy is closer to my age, and I'm not attracted to either of them; neither do I get the impression either of them is hitting on me. But the other day I was waiting for one exercise class to end, and when I looked through the glass door, the second guy saw me and waved at me. For some reason, even though that "calls attention," I was amused at his antic, instead of annoyed.

Could it possibly be some kind of Fe/Fi difference? If so, that would go a long way toward helping me understand the concepts on an experiential basis. But if not, then meh. Maybe it's as simple as that I've established that I have interests in common with the second guy, whereas the first guy is just some person who's exaggerated his appreciation of stuff I do for him at work.