Results 1 to 23 of 23

Thread: Duals not understanding each other

  1. #1
    Creepy-

    Default Duals not understanding each other

    But that's ok!

    I don't know if he'll ever understand my existential crisises (sp?) and I don't know if I will ever understand his lack of curiosity with things that don't lead to a tangible goal... but these little mysteries really do make life interesting. Besides, where is the fun in a relationship if you can't give each other odd looks every now and again?

  2. #2
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Inability to understand...... h mm..............
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  3. #3
    Creepy-

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Inability to understand...... h mm..............
    hmmmm?

    You never say anythign directly, do you?

  4. #4
    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North Korea
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    8,819
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My husband doesn't understand my moods or what causes them.

    I don't understand how he can be so relaxed and calm in even extreme situations.

    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

  5. #5
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,626
    Mentioned
    156 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My dual doesn't understand why I am so optimistic,

    and I do not understand why she is so pessimistic.

    Overall, it's a nice balance, even if probably both feel a bit like the other is naive in his approach to life.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  6. #6
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Inability to understand...... h mm..............
    hmmmm?

    You never say anythign directly, do you?

    If I had something to say, I would say it.

    There's no fuzzyness about that, is there?

    My response to that post was

    "hmm.........."

    If there were any more that I wanted to say, I would have said it.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  7. #7
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,626
    Mentioned
    156 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    We want you to say more.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  8. #8
    Cone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    2,717
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    You know, UDP, you average around 28 posts per day. That's much worse than Joy ever was.
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    NiFe
    Posts
    778
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    But they understand enough to know that you see it as something important, and they naturally help you out by taking your mind off the problem.....which was the only REAL problem in the first place!
    LOL! This has truth in it! Too funny. I get pissed that he doesn't understand how to help me figure shit out, but then when I stop and listen to him...I learn that I was totally overanalyzing shit and THAT was the problem. It's aggravating because I don't want to STOP analyzing, i want an answer to all my questions. But the answer is to get out of the endless circle of thoughts. Geez. LOL. Addicting thoughts suck ass. So illusive.

  10. #10
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    UDP has like a thousand posts, but almost nothing was said.
    There's nothing for me to discuss.


    However, I have been using this forum a lot lately, and I think I will be weening myself off from it.

    The reason why I don't say anything in my posts is because I have nothing to say, and primarliy use this forum as a substitue for mimial socializing, and passing the time, too. Honestly, there really hasn't been a subject that I've felt like I need to get wholeheartedly involved in.

    It's good practice, though, in that I can learn how to make bullshit conversations with other people, both here and there. Superficial conversations are entertaining for a while, but if I get into them too much, I realize that I really start to get warped... Nothing aginst the forum, though. To be honest..... things are at last beginning to pick up at school, so I wouldn't be surprised if I started posting less and less. I'll try to get a box of tissues for everyone, though.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    NiFe
    Posts
    778
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    Especailly the pair. The "Action" and "Time for Action" is one of the most interesting things I have seen so far in socionics to date.
    Oh, I'd love to hear your observations. Please share.

  12. #12
    Creepy-

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    I think the thing about duals (or actually good relationships) is that the other person views your "serious problems" as something that isnt' really that big of a deal. But they understand enough to know that you see it as something important, and they naturally help you out by taking your mind off the problem.....which was the only REAL problem in the first place!
    I have the most horrible sense of deja vu (have you said this before somewhere else on the forum?).

    Anyway, that totally makes sense

  13. #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Inability to understand...... h mm..............
    hmmmm?

    You never say anythign directly, do you?

    If I had something to say, I would say it.

    There's no fuzzyness about that, is there?

    My response to that post was

    "hmm.........."

    If there were any more that I wanted to say, I would have said it.

    I thought I perfectly understood him. Allow me to clarify (correct me if I'm wrong):

    UDP is skeptical if ishysquishy is seing her dual. Since he is only skeptical and not 100%, he made a somewhat vague statement so nobody could hold him to anything if he was actually wrong. He did at least diplay his reasoning behind his half hearted argument, "Inability to understand..."


    BTW: Transigent, I think you're first post was an excelent description of one of the qualities of a dual relationship (ie. taking your mind off your problems).
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

  14. #14
    Creepy-

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlendieOfIndie
    I thought I perfectly understood him. Allow me to clarify (correct me if I'm wrong):

    UDP is skeptical if Transigent is seing her dual. Since he is only skeptical and not 100%, he made a somewhat vague statement so nobody could hold him to anything if he was actually wrong. He did at least diplay his reasoning behind his half hearted argument, "Inability to understand..."
    He wasn't responding to Transigent...

  15. #15
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

    Default

    I don't understand anything and I'm going to stop trying to pretend to understand.

  16. #16
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlendieOfIndie
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Inability to understand...... h mm..............
    hmmmm?

    You never say anythign directly, do you?

    If I had something to say, I would say it.

    There's no fuzzyness about that, is there?

    My response to that post was

    "hmm.........."

    If there were any more that I wanted to say, I would have said it.

    I thought I perfectly understood him. Allow me to clarify (correct me if I'm wrong):

    UDP is skeptical if ishysquishy is seing her dual. Since he is only skeptical and not 100%, he made a somewhat vague statement so nobody could hold him to anything if he was actually wrong. He did at least diplay his reasoning behind his half hearted argument, "Inability to understand..."


    BTW: Transigent, I think you're first post was an excelent description of one of the qualities of a dual relationship (ie. taking your mind off your problems).

    Whatever the case.......

    You're not wholely wrong.... but you certainly aren't correct in this assumption of what I said. But I don't fault you; no one really could know what I was talking about.

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Inability to understand...... h mm..............
    The most siginficant reason for my post was...
    I was considering times in the past when I had trouble understanding someone who could be my dual (the trouble of understanding was actually mutual). ....Made me consider if that person was my dual or my opposite. But it's not important to this thread, so I didn't get into it

    Even now I haven't told you all the whole story, and I have no inclination to do so.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  17. #17
    I'm back, assholes! Herzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    TIM
    SLE
    Posts
    5,098
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    7 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    For instance, ESxp is always doing shit that it is not really the right time for. They don't know how to "lay in wait".

    INxp is always doing A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING and need to be told to get off thier gay asses.

    And neither minds the other, they actually APPRECIATE the help.
    Yeah, that sounds like me. I always seem to choose just the wrong time to do things.
    , Se-sub
    8w8-3w8-7w8 sx/sx

  18. #18
    Creepy-

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Whatever the case.......

    You're not wholely wrong.... but you certainly aren't correct in this assumption of what I said. But I don't fault you; no one really could know what I was talking about.

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Inability to understand...... h mm..............
    The most siginficant reason for my post was...
    I was considering times in the past when I had trouble understanding someone who could be my dual (the trouble of understanding was actually mutual). ....Made me consider if that person was my dual or my opposite. But it's not important to this thread, so I didn't get into it

    Even now I haven't told you all the whole story, and I have no inclination to do so.
    Thanks for the elaboration, UDP. I get agitated when people say things and don't explain them, but I appreciate even the most minimal explanation.

    I think duals can seem almost as far apart as your conflictor, the difference being that you actually appreciate their strengths.

  19. #19

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    852
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    edit.

  20. #20
    Creepy-

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Megan
    I am not so sure if one does not appreciate their conflictor's strong points or at least some of them. I think it might be true (as the relations of conflict descriptions say) that people often find their conflictors very interesting.
    I agree with you but I don't think it's to the same extent as with the dual. Plus with conflictors it's relatively easy to get caught up in hostility (which somewhat diminishes appreciation).

  21. #21
    Creepy-

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Megan
    No, I do not think that one would appreciate a conflictor as much as a dual, not in the long term anyway. However, I think at least for the first couple of weeks or months with a conflictor, a relationship can be quite good. I think trouble gradually rather than suddenly engulfs a conflicting relationship. The opposite seems to be true of dual relationships which can start out quite badly but gradually improve with the dualization process.
    That's something I definately agree with.

  22. #22
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My "dual" sounds interesting already.

    I know I could never be an ESFj, even if I wanted to

    But maybe that's the whole point, no?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  23. #23

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
    Quote Originally Posted by BlendieOfIndie
    I thought I perfectly understood him. Allow me to clarify (correct me if I'm wrong):

    UDP is skeptical if Transigent is seing her dual. Since he is only skeptical and not 100%, he made a somewhat vague statement so nobody could hold him to anything if he was actually wrong. He did at least diplay his reasoning behind his half hearted argument, "Inability to understand..."
    He wasn't responding to Transigent...
    Yeah, sorry. I got the names mixed up when I was posting. I thought I went back and changged it, but I must have missed one.
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •