Romancing styles "victim" types: controlled or matched?

[strrrng]

*shivers*

I like this, esper. Coming back with some fire, it seems. Anyway, I generally agree with your sentiments. Only a meek ****** actually wants to be controlled. Now, I think being a 4 also has something to do with this, because the desire is for someone to recognize, appreciate and come "get" us. I can't say I don't get attached strongly, thus losing some control, but as far as initially wanting to be dominated, or being some brat to be spanked, nah. I need the other person to be solid, to be able to withstand the tumult, and who will be a very good challenge. The last thing you quoted, I think, was sort of accurate. Victims acting aggressive as a means to challenge [the solidity of] their partner; I think this generally holds true. I want to make sure that they are "up to the task." Aggressors themselves don't seem to be bothered with such concerns over strength; it's more of an implicit knowing for them, in a way (like our duals who are E8s, heh). Anyway, good posts.

[aka-kitsune]

Agreed. I am attracted to a mate with backbone, but I don't want a tyrant. Someone who can stand up for himself and his opinions and doesn't need to crush everyone who disagrees with him into submission. Why would that be attractive to anyone at all??

One gains my respect by proving able to "handle" me tactfully without resorting to force or defensiveness. I may be headstrong, but you won't ever win me by setting out to conquer me.

Very few apparently possess this skill...

[betterthan]

I agree. I do not want to be controlled, ughh. I want the other person to work for it, I want them to show me what they got. Most guys don't have 'it', they can't take the brusing of the ego when I ignore them (it's not like that even means I am not interested, it just means I want them to show me something worth paying attention to) - I also want someone that can match me, this is what I have always wanted, someone that can match me. I will put them through shit, just to see if they will and can handle it - I don't mean like abuse lol just regular head games.

LOL, I guess all that is a little too much effort for most of them...

[Ezra]

Eva Mendez totally channels that "can you win?" attitude.

omfg is she IEI? Fuck yes.

Only a meek ****** actually wants to be controlled.

Please, in my ass, now! I need it in there! Now choke me, choke me.

Agreed. I am attracted to a mate with backbone, but I don't want a tyrant. Someone who can stand up for himself and his opinions and doesn't need to crush everyone who disagrees with him into submission. Why would that be attractive to anyone at all??

LIE answer: er, er, you want power yes!? YES!? THIS IS POWER! I AM POWER! Look! I have a massive 4x4, I have lots of money, and a huge house! You want power? This is true power! RAAHHHHHHHHWHWHWHHWHWFUCKMYSEHAISNOTCONVINCINGTHEM ...

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

That is just a porn fantasy. Ie grab a girl's pigtails and use them as handles while you throat fuck her. That's what she's doing with her porny face and holding the tails herself and her 'come fuck me' arrogant expression.

It has absolutely *nothing* to do with erotic attitudes, but has everything to do with what is 'in' in the porn industry. Sex sells, and people tend to all have the same general fantasy at once.

It's the most common trend in porn right now, or one of the most. Throat fuck videos sell like hotcakes, everybody seems to get off on them. The orientation is also irrelevant, gay throat fuck videos sell just as well as straight throat fuck videos. Until the latest trend comes on. 'Squirting videos' are kinda being replaced with the throat fuck thing tho.

Well right now I think the latest thing is 'cuckolding.'

[Satan]

*shivers*

I like this, esper. Coming back with some fire, it seems. Anyway, I generally agree with your sentiments. Only a meek ****** actually wants to be controlled. Now, I think being a 4 also has something to do with this, because the desire is for someone to recognize, appreciate and come "get" us. I can't say I don't get attached strongly, thus losing some control, but as far as initially wanting to be dominated, or being some brat to be spanked, nah. I need the other person to be solid, to be able to withstand the tumult, and who will be a very good challenge. The last thing you quoted, I think, was sort of accurate. Victims acting aggressive as a means to challenge [the solidity of] their partner; I think this generally holds true. I want to make sure that they are "up to the task." Aggressors themselves don't seem to be bothered with such concerns over strength; it's more of an implicit knowing for them, in a way (like our duals who are E8s, heh). Anyway, good posts.

are you calling yourself a meek ******

[Satan]

Please, in my ass, now! I need it in there! Now choke me, choke me.

Yeah, that's the read I get off yah.

[jessica129]

I'm afraid 'throatfucking' has always been popular and will continue to be popular for various reasons. Isn't that what the majority of porn has always been? Maybe those are the only ones i happen to stumble upon.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Yeah you're right it always will be popular probably.

But now, if I remember correctly it didn't used to be so popular. I think the trend started in 2002 and just went on from there.

Back in the 90s gay porn was very intense and creative, and straight porn was dull. But then the situation reversed and gay porn turned really dull and dead and straight porn picked up a lot of steam. Most gay porn producers are also activists and probably got annoyed at the whole Bush as president thing.

It's gotten to the point where a lot of guys in real life like to try it right away just like in porn videos with NO PREPARATION. it's silly lol.

[Satan]

BAD.. I think it's always been that way .. especially with cheap whores and alcohol.

[redbaron]

The submissiveness is more of an "I won't come after you" bit. "You have to come over here." Or that I will completely go along with you until you prove yourself to be something more on my level.

I don't project arrogance. And if I do, I wouldn't like it. I project "in control". As long as you're not in control, I am. No one can influence me unless they can prove themselves to be capable of influencing me in the way I desire to be influenced.

this explains a lot.

edit: I mean, about me. not about you.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

You're wrong. You are reading way too much into things. The only reason why she's acting like that, and holding her pigtails and acting like a sexual victim, is because its a male fantasy to use them as handles for oral sex. It's about what looks aesthetically pleasing to males. It has nothing to do with erotic attitudes, which imo is just another gimmicky categorization.

As for the other picture, it's just another highly sexualized photo for bored men to masturbate to. Nothing to see there.

The porn reference is very relevant otherwise why is she sticking her tails out and acting like that? 'Erotica' is just a heartbeat away from p0rn. It's suggestive, and leaves little to the imagination.

I'm not the one that's full of shit. Again, it is YOUR gender that's being sexually exploited here, not mine. Hey I don't mind, but I'm just saying. It's a pic meant to arouse people. Nothing at all to do with studying the intricacies of the human mind.

What the fuck are you saying about some kinda porn industry zeitgeist? Who cares? Shut up!

No. It's not about anybody caring or not, it's trying to teach you a lesson about where the pic is coming from and what its trying to portray. Dear god you can't be that naive, can you?

[ScarlettLux]

Just ignore him, Esper. All B&D ever writes about is sex, porn, homosexuality, etc. Somehow he manages to turn EVERY LITTLE THING into something or other related to these favoured topics.

[sigma]

I had recently an interaction with a very nice SLE... she told me that if she wouldn't have been in a relationship she would be with me and... she would have really screwed my mind...
I said... "I don't think so..." and saw her brighten up.

SLE likes challenges... and I think they hate submission... They like winning but I suspect that is not the winning they really enjoy but the struggle, the war, the conquering...

To a powerful SLE, a powerful IEI can provide enough of a challenge... like conquering a citadel... and just when you thought you were done... you discover a new room, a new tower...

I believe that a powerful IEI will not break under any circumstances. We become ethereal... To the outside world we look like victims because we take so much BUT I think SLE sees power, sees not falling, sees the invulnerability... and that might be... enticing... intriguing... exciting...

(I'm just speculating... so I might be wrong... very wrong... )

[Park]

Is Eva Mendes an ENTj?

[strrrng]

Seriously, step away from the lotion and box of tissues. Go outside once in a while, the graphics are great out there!

lmao <3

[betterthan]

LOL

Hmm this is why I am not attracted to 'agressive' victims, it's like they are just so damn cocky, ESTps are cocky, but not when it comes to relationships, they know how to play game, their never quite sure how you feel, if they have won you over, but the agressive victims are so like cocky haha, it's like after the first few times you talk, they think they are in there, well yeah I mean I was attracted to them, but they hadn't won me yet. God.

But then again I am like that too lol, god that is unattractive !

[Satan]

LOL

Hmm this is why I am not attracted to 'agressive' victims, it's like they are just so damn cocky, ESTps are cocky, but not when it comes to relationships, they know how to play game, their never quite sure how you feel, if they have won you over, but the agressive victims are so like cocky haha, it's like after the first few times you talk, they think they are in there, well yeah I mean I was attracted to them, but they hadn't won me yet. God.

But then again I am like that too lol, god that is unattractive !

you mean to tell me that you're not easy.

[Ezra]

Yeah, that's the read I get off yah.

I think B&D would be more interested but... what the hell, whatever floats yer boat.

Actually, I think she is an extrovert.

What type do you reckon?

Just ignore him, Esper. All B&D ever writes about is sex, porn, homosexuality, etc. Somehow he manages to turn EVERY LITTLE THING into something or other related to these favoured topics.

Ha! Yes.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

=(.

[ScarlettLux]

=(.

Shit, I feel bad =[ I still really like you B&D! I just want you to tone down sometimes..

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Okay. Not a problem.

[Ezra]

I don't think Eva Mendes is an LIE.

[Ezra]

she's typed SLE. here, i would have VIed her IEI.

Hence the inherent uselessness of either your VI skills or VI itself. I'd be more inclined to go with the latter.

[Park]

i think Jessica Simpson is Fe base, too. then Lopez could be a SEE Beneficiary.

I agree about Lopez.

[FDG]

I like Lopez's ass.

[Park]

J. Lo is a long relative of mine. (no joke)

[Ezra]

Yeeessss...

Imaginable.

[Ezra]

^ "The game"

That's kind of... intimate.

[Jimbean]

Hmm I wonder if that's a strictly beta impression...

I don't think so.

[Ezra]

Hmm I wonder if that's a strictly beta impression...

Well, come on, I mean look how close the camera is to her. And look at that look. I mean, she's normally pretty seductive, but that's like a "you're special" look.