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Thread: Fictional story about ILE and SEI: A Tragedy of Actors

  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Fictional story about ILE and SEI: A Tragedy of Actors

    So, here's the dig. I'm writing a story, it's an open story. I'm really, freakin' tired of hiding my ego functions and pretending I'm my super-id, so I'm writing an open story.

    Here's the deal: three central characters,

    The Author: is retelling a story of two fictional characters called Jones and Katharine.

    Jones: widower and baker, struggles with failing bakery. Bleak outlook on life since wife died ("Simple things that go unnoticed... a sniffle, a lump, a slowing heart... life's cruelty is that it is the wisest of benefactors. All things in life are calculated lessons, and we must always learn from them.")--I'd like to believe he's a "deflated ILE" (although help in shaping him towards that ideal would be appreciated (mobilizing and ignoring let me down a bit here...)).

    Katharine: mental health counselor, one of her patients kills herself. Katharine blames herself for this, and goes into a period of withdrawal. All her friends abandon her.

    I need a SEI to write as Katharine! Your character is your character, all you need to do is follow the plotline, and suggest improvements that improve the whole.

    I'm also licensing this under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License, so it's a true community work (well, almost. I've still got Director Ego).

    Now, for the plot.

    Katharine starts pining for an external source of tranquility and goes on walks. She goes to Jones's bakery to get some bread to feed the ducks in the local park, and instantly recognizes what Jones is feeling. Her extreme loneliness misinterprets this as love, and subsequently forgets all about her problems, visiting the bakery more and more often just to see Jones more.

    Jones's mother dies, however, and he leaves to attend her funeral. As his bakery is a one-man show, he is forced to leave it closed while he is away. Katharine is heartbroken when she arrives at the closed bakery, and everything she'd forgotten above surges over her in an overwhelming wave. She then finally locks herself in her apartment and slowly starves herself to death in the dark.

    Jones's loneliness crescendos after his mother's funeral. He is now motherless and wifeless, which drains his "Life is a wise benefactor" outlook completely. He thinks back to Katharine, and from his memories, realises how similar the sadness in her eyes was to hers. He hurries back to the bakery and opens up, then becomes worried when Katharine's weekly visit does not come. He slowly disheartens over the next month, with the gnawing loneliness building just as Katharine's gnawing hunger does, until finally, as the bakery judders to a halt and collapses, Katharine's corpse is discovered and her name posted in an obituary. This is the final blow to Jones, and he drowns himself in the park lake.

    The Author then speaks up as a man named Stewart, who saw the story unfolding, and filled in the blanks... perhaps making a few assumptions and embellishments along the way. He then relates how their story inspired him to begin writing a great many novels which he can never complete.

    </plot>

    Themes (mostly very ):

    Tragedy of unfulfilledness (not a word, but you know what I mean)
    Death of women (links back to first point, but more of a focus on loss than on lack of gain)
    Loneliness
    False love
    Dark and light (consuming pessimism and buttressing optimism)

    Love you all <3

    EDIT

    Written as "Psychojournal" of characters thoughts and feelings, because The Author has magical superpsychicpowers like that.

    FURTHER EDIT

    Jones was inspired by a toaster and Katharine a kettle.

    ILE FUCKYEAH.
    Last edited by male; 01-14-2009 at 01:46 AM.

  2. #2
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    my god, this really reminds me of that one story I wrote about the street urchins.

    I'd love to write for this, but I am not sure if I can give my 100%.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  3. #3
    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    I'm also interested!! Kam we could go halvies, haha! Can she have a split identical personality?
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  4. #4
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    I'm also interested!! Kam we could go halvies, haha! Can she have a split identical personality?
    Nope, makes the character too alien (I feel), but you could both contribute to the character.

    Do you need Jones's chapter first?

    EDIT

    Try to link encounters together.

    "It was a bright July morning. Bright, and bitterly cold. A year earlier, my wife had died. Simple things that go unnoticed... a sniffle, a lump, a slowing heart... life's cruelty is that it is the wisest of benefactors. All things in life are calculated lessons, and we must always learn from them. My wife had died, my bakery was dying, and Autumn's warmth had all but faded into the bleak danse macabre of winter. 'Summer comes, Jones. All things return to how they were and how they will be.' Wise as always was life. Cruel as always, too.

    Oh, Autumn... our bakery was in its death throes too. This, life explained, was because a human in two halves is two halves of a dead human, while a worm in two halves is two worms. Life teaches too that there's never an excuse to give up the fight. Summer following Winter, and Winter following in suite--not because they are at war, but simply because that is how things happen.

    Today, though, I met a customer (such a strange thing... like an Autumn sunshower). She called herself Katharine. I do not know what life would have said of her, though. Life was strangely silent, as if contemplating how best to make Katharine a lesson. Surely she will die, then, as this is the wisdom of life."
    Last edited by male; 01-14-2009 at 02:19 AM.

  5. #5
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Nope, makes the character too alien (I feel), but you could both contribute to the character.

    Do you need Jones's chapter first?
    Dual, I am a perfectionist at art, and writing is an art. I am fully confident that Bee and I could go halvsies quite easily, or at least flesh out the character's emotional exoskeleton more together. I would feel much more comfortable doing that, unless you wanna get BionicGoat or Jem on it.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  6. #6
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    Dual, I am a perfectionist at art, and writing is an art. I am fully confident that Bee and I could go halvsies quite easily, or at least flesh out the character's emotional exoskeleton more together. I would feel much more comfortable doing that, unless you wanna get BionicGoat or Jem on it.
    As many as you feel you can work with (and whoever you work best with)! That's the point of the CC 3.0. I can try and tap my to sort out creative disputes too, so that's your safety net.

    Perhaps collaborate on the character, and then whichever is most confident with can take on the actual acting process.

  7. #7
    Creepy-bg

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    No offense, but I've got my own writing and characters to worry about besides... you seem more into the Fe so Kam and Bee are probably best for that.

  8. #8
    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    kam and I are the same person but Kam has something I don't.
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  9. #9
    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    This...kind of scares me.
    ILE
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    Very busy with work. Only kind of around.

  10. #10
    Currently God Brilliand's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    kam and I are the same person but Kam has something I don't.
    What, pray tell? What I see is that you're female, and the character's female, so you can relate better. The only other thing that comes to mind is Kam's programming skills, which can't possibly be relevant...



    LII-Ne

    "Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!"
    - Blair Houghton

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  11. #11
    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dolphin View Post
    Didn't you write about an SEIs love being some sort of precious pearl awhile back?
    I sure did. I can only deal with those kinds of things when I detach my person from it. It's abstract enough that I can just kind of weave together what I think/feel without actually putting myself into it. And once you throw another person into the mix it becomes really uncomfortable.
    ILE
    7w8 so/sp

    Very busy with work. Only kind of around.

  12. #12
    Creepy-bg

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    Why is the story so miserable, and why is the ILE the baker? SEI baker, ILE mental health professional and a happy ending please. Leave misery to the INFp wrist-slashers and INTp rape-fantasy fetishist. Only wholesome life affirming sunshine in Alpha.
    +++

  13. #13
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    Why is the story so miserable, and why is the ILE the baker? SEI baker, ILE mental health professional and a happy ending please. Leave misery to the INFp wrist-slashers and INTp rape-fantasy fetishist. Only wholesome life affirming sunshine in Alpha.

    If you're a lonely ILE, you would go to a bakery and prop the best looking girl there for her cookies and croissants, at least thats what I would do on a cold dreary day.
    Because I like miserable. Doom, gloom and dark things are my sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

    "On your quest for the holy grail, you will come across paths through forests--do not take these, for those that made them have not yet returned, have they?"

    Forge my way through the darkness, revelling in its mystery all the way!

    He's a baker because his wife never was able to give him children before she died, so his children are the pastries and breads that his bakery produces. That goes back to the theme of death of women, as he acts as a sort of pro-woman, with the bakery as his womb.

    This is back to the theme of unfulfillednessnessnessness.

    Same with the inconclusive ending. It's all very scientifical and factualific.

    And if you really want to know, hkkmr, when you have lived nothing but sorrow and misery for years on end, it colours you. How many times have you had your heart broken, hmm?

    How many times have you been denied the absolute bliss of throwing every last fibre, heartbeat, and drop of energy into one you love? Have you ever experienced that? No? Then be silent, your nonsense is far, far from welcome here.

    I will have my happiness, you godforsaken fool. I will have my happiness and God help you if you try to stop me. I will seize a future forged from absolute madness and untold potential, I will see this world SOAR or I will burn it to the ground.

    Do you understand? Can you understand? Or are you so assured of yourself that you've closed that contemptible clam of a soul to others' experiences?

    You sicken me. I despise you. I loathe you. I resent you. Mere words cannot capture the extent of my lust to end you, to dash you forever from the annals of the march of history. Mere words will never capture, not even in the slightest how you inspire within me a hatred so profound, so unfathomably deep that Satan himself shivers in his prison of ice.

    Leave this place. Leave now, and never return. If you do, Time will forget you, Life will spurn you, and Death will fear you--fear what I will do to you.

    j/k, but that was a really good vent! I haven't had drama club in two months now, and my really needs some better releases <3
    Last edited by male; 01-14-2009 at 05:05 PM.

  14. #14
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I'm cynical enough to know that I prefer my stories to be fulfilling, some people have the ability to wallow in self-despair fulfillingly.
    But the whole idea of the story is that it's unfulfilling. Why would I write a happy story where the good guy gets the girl? That's already been done a billion times before, and it's boring.

    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I have moved on past that point and need to be relieved, one way or another.
    Then you have simply been numbed, and no longer can listen to yourself.

    You will have nothing from me, hence. I will not offer pity where I can offer compassion, and you would no doubt refuse my compassion.

    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    Since you can rent wombs now via in-vitro fertilization and harvested embryos, this would be the sensible ILE approach to the lack of children problem.
    No, no, no! That's not the point of children! Children are pure posibility, absolute future! Jones perverts this into an obsession with the present through his sadness!

    Can you not see?

    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    As far as throwing my love at people, that's for idiots. It's much too valuable a commodity to dispense like pez. I only want to devote about 10% of my life to love, that's probably a proper amount of time spent on the subject if not overly much.
    Then you have no love to give, and I can but offer the depths of all my sympathy to whichever hapless soul seeks your love.

  15. #15
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    There's been a billion stories of unfulfilled love too, and it's boring too. What makes something boring or not boring usually isn't the kind of story it is but rather the kind of reader and the kind of author.
    But this is not a story of unfulfilled love! It is a story of unreached potentials.

    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I think 10% is a lot, 100% is certainly hyperbole if not outright deception. Any hapless soul that seeks my love will likely have to persuade me via my stomach, baked goods optional. Saucible nuggets of goodness bonus points.
    Simply, you have no heart.

    There is nothing more to say.

  16. #16
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    For that story all I have to do is stop and look around.
    Yes! This story is a tragedy of me~



    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I probably ate it, it was good.
    True.

    Ever tried your kidneys?

  17. #17
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    I concur that the end is sheer bloody romance.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  18. #18
    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post

    "On your quest for the holy grail, you will come across paths through forests--do not take these, for those that made them have not yet returned, have they?"
    Perhaps they decided that the luscious entice of the forests was just too much, and there was suddenly no reason to leave? Perhaps they are living in an evergreen paradise now.

    DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!?! 0_0
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  19. #19
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    bee yo crazy foo.

    i am sooooo bored. Maybe I should get myself together and think of this more.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  20. #20
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    Perhaps they decided that the luscious entice of the forests was just too much, and there was suddenly no reason to leave? Perhaps they are living in an evergreen paradise now.

    DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!?! 0_0
    MY ALLEGORY IS FLAWED D:!!!!

    No, I hadn't.

  21. #21
    Haikus
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    Fuck you. I'd rather slash your throat than my wrist. Any day.

  22. #22
    Creepy-male

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    The only razor I put to myself is Occam's.

    Thanks.

  23. #23
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    The only razor I put to myself is Occam's.

    Thanks.
    dude, when are we gonna hook this shiat up. I just got 25 dolla cuz i'm a high rolla for my writez.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  24. #24
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    dude, when are we gonna hook this shiat up. I just got 25 dolla cuz i'm a high rolla for my writez.
    Bee is good at the spelling/grammar side of things I hope? :-p
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  25. #25
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    Bee is good at the spelling/grammar side of things I hope? :-p
    I didn't realize how ironic that post was.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  26. #26
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    dude, when are we gonna hook this shiat up. I just got 25 dolla cuz i'm a high rolla for my writez.
    When you start writing with bee!

    I was waiting ):

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