Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: An ILE friend and his lack of ethics

  1. #1
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default An ILE friend and his lack of ethics

    Hello to all,

    I've got an ILE friend; we work and spend quite a bit of time together.

    He's got a house and since he's a little lazy, he asked me to sell it. He also promised to give me some money in the case of selling it. The house is not expensive; it is worth like 8,000.

    I announced it in many places and took my friend and some prospective customers to see the house, since he doesn't have a car. I've spent about $120 to date (internet ads, gas, etc.) plus my time offering the house.

    One of the prospective customers said he would buy it and set a date (december 20) for payment. I didn't talk for a long time to the customer after I left my friend and him to close the deal.

    I asked my friend afterwards about the house and he said that "his wife was dealing with another customer" and he said something in the lines of "she'll probably win the race". I didn't clarify this but I took it as a sign that, in the case that his wife sells the house, he wouldn't give me money.

    I thought "well, ok, as long as he gives me a little money to cover my expenses I think it is ok". But recently I received a phone call from the customer, which had my phone because I was the first contact, and told me that he wanted to know if the checks cleared. I called my friend and asked him the very same question. First, I noticed a nervous slip, like if he has gotten caught lying. Then he said that it was his wife who was dealing about it and that he didn't know anything about it.

    Thing is, I'm 99% sure my friend is betraying me by selling the house and hiding it with the purpose of saving my part of the deal. We never actually talked about percentage or anything, but he knows I'm in serious debt and promised me enough money to get by, which is like $800.

    I just want to know how would you deal with this because I'm thinking about kicking his ass (literally) the next time I see him.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  2. #2
    Creepy-bg

    Default

    tell him the story as you see it... if he doesn't make it right either cut him off, kick his ass, or let it go for the sake of the friendship. all depends on how you feel about his response.

  3. #3
    kensi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, Ab, Canada
    Posts
    567
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    Hello to all,

    I've got an ILE friend; we work and spend quite a bit of time together.

    He's got a house and since he's a little lazy, he asked me to sell it. He also promised to give me some money in the case of selling it. The house is not expensive; it is worth like 8,000.

    I announced it in many places and took my friend and some prospective customers to see the house, since he doesn't have a car. I've spent about $120 to date (internet ads, gas, etc.) plus my time offering the house.

    One of the prospective customers said he would buy it and set a date (december 20) for payment. I didn't talk for a long time to the customer after I left my friend and him to close the deal.

    I asked my friend afterwards about the house and he said that "his wife was dealing with another customer" and he said something in the lines of "she'll probably win the race". I didn't clarify this but I took it as a sign that, in the case that his wife sells the house, he wouldn't give me money.

    I thought "well, ok, as long as he gives me a little money to cover my expenses I think it is ok". But recently I received a phone call from the customer, which had my phone because I was the first contact, and told me that he wanted to know if the checks cleared. I called my friend and asked him the very same question. First, I noticed a nervous slip, like if he has gotten caught lying. Then he said that it was his wife who was dealing about it and that he didn't know anything about it.

    Thing is, I'm 99% sure my friend is betraying me by selling the house and hiding it with the purpose of saving my part of the deal. We never actually talked about percentage or anything, but he knows I'm in serious debt and promised me enough money to get by, which is like $800.

    I just want to know how would you deal with this because I'm thinking about kicking his ass (literally) the next time I see him.
    Did you accept his offer at any point in time ? He may not have been under the impression that you did. An offer is nothing without acceptance; it is merely an invitation for business.....Also business and pleasure may be hard to seperate in this case...that said, and after the fact, your friend should reimburse you on some reasonable level for the distribution of relevant actions you took. I dont know if its all about ethics...but it might be....i dont have enough information.
    ENTP:wink:ALPHA

  4. #4
    Currently God Brilliand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Nevada
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    4,246
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    As I see it, if he sold the house to the customer you referred, he has a bargain and thus a reason to pay you. If not... he clearly didn't promise to pay you if you didn't sell the house for him, so that's up to him. As for the exact amount, you don't seem to have gotten a number off of him, so you may not have a right to demand $800.



    LII-Ne

    "Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!"
    - Blair Houghton

    Johari

  5. #5
    crazedrat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,885
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    You should confront him.. You haven't even confronted him.
    INTp

  6. #6

    Default

    Shank him
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

  7. #7
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    We work together. And I've already sold things for him in the past. He had a motorcycle that he didn't use and I sold it for like $1,000 and he gave me $120. So each of us knows what to expect.

    Thing is, he put the house to his wife name and I suspect it's not him but his wife the one who doesn't want to give me money. And since his wife (SEI) controls him pretty bad, I believe the real reason not to give me the money is not to start a conflict with her. SEIs are quite miserable sometimes, I'm sorry to say.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  8. #8
    crazedrat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    moon
    Posts
    4,885
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    no, always
    INTp

  9. #9
    diljs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    348
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Real estate has weird legal rules but...if I were in his position and I sold the house to someone you had not contacted I would not feel that I owed you a commission.

    If you explained in a non condemning way that you would like payment for expenses I would probably give it to you, but otherwise I would be oblivious to that desire.

    If that's lack of ethics then well...you got me. That sort of thing simply wouldn't cross my mind. It's not purposeful and I doubt it is in his case either.

    Edit: read more carefully...he could actually be purposefully trying to cut you out of the deal...again just ask him in a straightforward manner and don't expect him to read between the lines of what you're saying.
    ILE - Ti.

  10. #10
    Currently God Brilliand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Nevada
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    4,246
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    Thing is, he put the house to his wife name and I suspect it's not him but his wife the one who doesn't want to give me money. And since his wife (SEI) controls him pretty bad, I believe the real reason not to give me the money is not to start a conflict with her. SEIs are quite miserable sometimes, I'm sorry to say.
    Then perhaps instead of looking for damage here, we should be looking for damage? Hmm... If his wife knew that she was interfering with one of her husband's friendships, she might be more willing to make amends. How's your relationship with her? If this is an ethical issue, then based purely on type, you're more likely to get ethics out of her than him; all you have to do is communicate. (I don't mean take him out of the loop - I just mean bring her in.)

    The conflicts you think he's worried about are probably an business, which I'm sure you can handle... I'm thinking you'll need to reassure him that there won't be a conflict, or much of one at least, and take steps to make sure that's true (I'm thinking do most of the talking yourself, and be very polite sot that no one can really get mad at you). Irrational elements probably won't interfere, since that's what you share; doesn't seem to be off-balance, but if it becomes necessary, you can always ask the customer to confirm that you referred him. And I think that covers every IM element. Will it work? Who knows? Take it with a grain of salt - my own experience with this sort of situation is experience getting ripped off and putting it behind me.



    LII-Ne

    "Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!"
    - Blair Houghton

    Johari

  11. #11

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    5,101
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Where do I need to move to buy a house for $8000?

    Personally, since you take on the job of selling shit for him (more than once now), it should be up to you to make sure you get everything set up as far as your compensation...etc. up front so you don't have to worry about this kinda stuff happening after the fact.

  12. #12
    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Third Planet
    TIM
    IEE-Ne
    Posts
    1,631
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I saw this guy recently, our common SEI friend got us in touch. Since we stopped working together he's become such a miserable liar; the SEI called him by phone, with the loudspeaker on and told him that we no longer worked together but after he came, not knowing that I was there, he started to invent histories on how he tried to reach me and such.

    I despise him; he's just an attention junkie, an hypocrite and a lier. I now know why he is alone.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

  13. #13
    Creepy-male

    Default

    Wow.

    That's some harsh Fi.

    I don't believe you're IEE

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •