SLIs-ISTps evaluating people and their feelings

**redbaron** · 01-06-2009, 05:53 PM

Do you ever evaluate people's emotions from afar? Do you consider yourself good at determining what people are feeling just by the look on their face or their posture? Or do you avoid that sort of thing altogether? Do you ever try to figure out what's going on with someone emotionally (assuming you like them) without having to talk to them? And if so, do you feel that you're usually pretty accurate with your assessment?

There's a specific reason I'm asking this but I want to get your feedback first.

**duality is cringe** · 01-06-2009, 07:03 PM

Can't we all do this to some extent?

I believe I am capable of this, but it isn't something I set my mind to. I don't always know what every single person is feeling/thinking just by looking at them (nor do I try) but there are times when I can walk into a room (or vice versa) and can immediately pick up on what another person is feeling - be it sadness, anger, or just mental preoccupation -without obvious cues via facial expressions. It's like some people almost psychically 'hit' you with their moods.

Not sure if this helps, but the answer was an honest one.

**redbaron** · 01-06-2009, 07:08 PM

thanks. yeah, I mean I was wondering that too (if we can all do this. and I know I'm really good at it) but I'm thinking of someone in particular who seems to do it a lot. but then I was wondering if I'm just noticing that he does it because he's my friend, or what. Anyway, he's SEI but such a strong Si subtype that I occasionally wonder if he's SLI.

**xyz** · 01-06-2009, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by redbaron

Do you ever evaluate people's emotions from afar?

I only evaluate people's emotions from afar if I care about them or if they seem like a threat to me... but... I think most people might do this.

Do you consider yourself good at determining what people are feeling just by the look on their face or their posture? Or do you avoid that sort of thing altogether?

I consider myself decent... Well, actually, I consider myself pretty good at reading other's emotions and stuff, but... when it comes down to WHAT I SHOULD DO in those cases, well, let's just say it's better to keep my mouth shut during most of those times.

Do you ever try to figure out what's going on with someone emotionally (assuming you like them) without having to talk to them?

Naw... it takes too much work for me, if I notice something's up, and i'm comfortable enough with them at the moment, I just ask "What's the matter?"

And if so, do you feel that you're usually pretty accurate with your assessment?

Most of the time that I try, yeah. I think i'm usually wayyy off though when their emotions concern ME.

**redbaron** · 01-06-2009, 09:05 PM

hmmmm. thanks for replying. dangit, there is a smallish chance I may have mis-typed this guy. I need to post in what's my type. ugh.

**implied** · 01-12-2009, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by DeAnte

Can't we all do this to some extent?

I believe I am capable of this, but it isn't something I set my mind to. I don't always know what every single person is feeling/thinking just by looking at them (nor do I try) but there are times when I can walk into a room (or vice versa) and can immediately pick up on what another person is feeling - be it sadness, anger, or just mental preoccupation -without obvious cues via facial expressions. It's like some people almost psychically 'hit' you with their moods.

Not sure if this helps, but the answer was an honest one.

you've described this very well, imo. or i relate very much with the sentiment. i didn't actually realize there were other people out there who felt like people "hit" them with moods. sometimes that's a very good thing, at other times it's a bit like walking into a cloud of funk. hah. point is that i can't control how that affects me quite often so i try to stay far away from people who are consciously trying to "affect" me.

**UDP** · 01-12-2009, 04:53 PM

you've described this very well, imo. or i relate very much with the sentiment. i didn't actually realize there were other people out there who felt like people "hit" them with moods. sometimes that's a very good thing, at other times it's a bit like walking into a cloud of funk. hah. point is that i can't control how that affects me quite often so i try to stay far away from people who are consciously trying to "affect" me.
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Last edited by dee; 12-05-2008 at 01:44 PM.

??

**redbaron** · 01-12-2009, 04:55 PM

whoa! odd.....

**implied** · 01-12-2009, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by redbaron

whoa! odd.....

uh yes, wtf is going on.

**munenori2** · 01-12-2009, 05:53 PM

lol mindtwins

**duality is cringe** · 01-12-2009, 06:00 PM

LOL @ UDP copying implied's post and sig!

**Warlord** · 01-12-2009, 06:02 PM

maybe he was wondering about implieds sig

**tiny_dancer** · 01-12-2009, 06:05 PM

Yeah, I think he was commenting on the 'last edited by dee' part...

**xyz** · 01-12-2009, 06:44 PM

There's some voodoo going on.

**iAnnAu** · 01-12-2009, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by redbaron

Do you ever evaluate people's emotions from afar? Do you consider yourself good at determining what people are feeling just by the look on their face or their posture? Or do you avoid that sort of thing altogether? Do you ever try to figure out what's going on with someone emotionally (assuming you like them) without having to talk to them? And if so, do you feel that you're usually pretty accurate with your assessment?

There's a specific reason I'm asking this but I want to get your feedback first.

Um, well, if I evaluate people's emotions from afar, I'm not aware of it. And I consider myself terrible at determining what people are feeling just by some isolated clue - it usually takes minutes (or more) of interaction before I'm hit over the head by a sense that the state they're in at all diverges from the words they're saying about it.

I have no idea how I would figure out what's going on with someone without talking to them; sometimes I might be more comfortable asking someone whom I think is closer to the person in question if he or she knows about it, and combined with my observations may allow myself to come to a conclusion different than the person I asked ... but I never afford myself much confidence that my interpretation is unassailable ...

But I don't usually take such things to heart - I guess my attitude is that it's their prerogative to let me know what's going on, and if they want to play a game then we're both going to be disappointed if I guess wrong, so I'd rather not guess at all. I'm really not big into drama or gossip, so the prurience of analyzing somebody's underlying emotions is kinda distasteful. I want to understand, but I'm not that great at understanding emotions, so it can feel like it's a bunch of sensationalized neuroticism.

**tiny_dancer** · 01-12-2009, 08:13 PM

I want to understand, but I'm not that great at understanding emotions, so it can feel like it's a bunch of sensationalized neuroticism.

This confuses me. I know SLIs are happy/sad/depressed etc, so how does someone else experiencing those things feel like neuroticism? Like you don't understand how they got to that state given the facts of the situation?

**duality is cringe** · 01-12-2009, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by tiny_dancer

This confuses me. I know SLIs are happy/sad/depressed etc, so how does someone else experiencing those things feel like neuroticism?

SLI's likely feel them to a lesser degree of intensity and less frequently.

**implied** · 01-12-2009, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by tiny_dancer

Yeah, I think he was commenting on the 'last edited by dee' part...

possibly. everyone thinks dee is editing my posts hah.

**xyz** · 01-12-2009, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by implied

possibly. everyone thinks dee is editing my posts hah.

How do I know it's you saying that and not dee, huh?

**implied** · 01-13-2009, 01:18 AM

Originally Posted by LokiVanguard

How do I know it's you saying that and not dee, huh?

because it's not retarded.

**UDP** · 01-13-2009, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by tiny_dancer

Yeah, I think he was commenting on the 'last edited by dee' part...

Yes

Originally Posted by implied

because it's not retarded.

Oh, you trickster

**iAnnAu** · 01-13-2009, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by tiny_dancer

This confuses me. I know SLIs are happy/sad/depressed etc, so how does someone else experiencing those things feel like neuroticism? Like you don't understand how they got to that state given the facts of the situation?

It's more like my perception of myself is that I'm not very good at interpreting people's subtle cues, so if I'm not given more direct information with which to gauge their emotional state, I'm frustrated by the effort involved in guessing it. If they tell me they feel some way, or describe the facts of the situation, that's something to go on, but if they're across the room acting mopey, or telling me they're happy while acting mopey, I'm not likely to anticipate some inspiration of WHY they're mopey. And casting about theories about emotional states is just likely to wear me out, so that seems neurotic - I'd rather assume that my friends will be as straight with me as their circumstances deem appropriate, and that I can just tune out the acquaintances whose behaviors don't add up.

Hm. I guess it also is illustrative to reveal that my definition of "neurotic" = desperate to fit in more socially than you already do.

**xyz** · 01-13-2009, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by implied

because it's not retarded.

touche

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