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Thread: Which socionic relation does this sound most like?

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    Creepy-Diana

    Default Which socionic relation does this sound most like?

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    Last edited by tereg; 05-07-2010 at 09:45 PM. Reason: Edited by user request

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    strrrng's Avatar
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    Comparative seems the most likely, assuming it actually is an intertype relation. Mirror also came to mind. The thing about having the same problems seems like it could be related to coming from an identical vantage point on things ("parallel lives")—having identical base functions. On the other hand, feeling similar to the person yet noticing that there is some difference you can't pinpoint, or that you do things somewhat differently, could suggest the temperament difference in mirror relations.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    You're fine with not seeing each other for a time, but then when you do it's really good for awhile until you just get burnt out, you run out of things to do or say and just need to get away from each other for awhile again. You feel like you're really similar, but different in a way that you just can't put your finger on. The pattern goes: drawn in, fun/intensity, overload, retreat, recover, drawn in again.

    You have similar problems, and see things in similar ways, and can give good advice to each other when it's needed, but you don't at first realize how similar your problems are. Once you do, it seems like you're living parallel lives, always facing the same issues. But it becomes more and more of a strain to communicate unless you get a good long break. Then it's easier again.
    Activity, Benefit seem plausible. Even superego as i recall an earlier relationship i had. Probably Activity i'd guess has the best chance. I dont know (or at least feel comfortable to state) some of the finer points of a Benefit relationship. Maybe somebody else here does and is willing to share so i can figure it out.
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    Creepy-Diana

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    Creepy-Diana

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    I'd be interested in hearing more about benefit also.
    I say that cause i suspect i may be in one, but my mind is in a haze of perceptions previously attributable to the belief that i was in an activity relationship.

    It seems to me that supervision relationships are easier to point out than those of benefit, for whatever reasons.

    Does anybody have any experience in what they believe may legitimately have been a relationship of benefit (from either perspective benefactor or beneficiary) ?
    ENTP:wink:ALPHA

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    I'd be interested in hearing more about benefit also.
    I don't know that what you've described sounds like benefit. The thing with asymmetric relations, is that there is always a disparity—like one person is incessantly trying to keep up, in order to simply establish a level playing field. Like with request/benefit relations, the transmitter/benefactor "possesses" something that the recipient/beneficiary wants—the dual-seeking function. However, due to its position (creative) and different usage (varying quadra values), the benefactor will not really understand the nature of the beneficiary's concerns in this area. They may dole it out every now and then, but there is always a sort of dissonance; it is like the benefactor is unwittingly one step ahead of the beneficiary, but since they don't realize it, the problem remains. And the beneficiary possesses the benefactor's estimative function as their base, which engenders a feeling of 'knowing' what the benefactor 'needs.' Now, while this appraisal of theirs is by no means inaccurate, the nature in which they choose to express this 'insight' is not exactly complementary to the benefactor. This is because they are of different temperaments, and the benefactor does not want someone breathing down their neck with a function they only desire in moderate portions—especially when expressed through different values. So, this relationship generates a sort of perennial catch-up game, where neither person completely understands where the other is coming from.

    What you have described didn't strike me like that. On the one hand, they seem to operate in fairly similar ways, albeit still noticing a subtle difference between themselves. You mentioned how they can translate something better when using a sort of 'placeholder' medium of communication—symbol stuff. This could suggest inter-quadra relations, perhaps even opposing quadra, like contrary/extinguishment or super-id.
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    strrrng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    Yes, there are misunderstandings, and they seem to come from the manner each communicates. For instance they both might mean the same thing but think they're saying something entirely different based on wording.

    They actually communicate the best through playful code. If they can take a situation/object/whatever they're discussing and translate it into a mutual separate language, then they both understand each other perfectly. I wish I could give examples to illustrate what I mean.
    I can't see how this would occur with any intra-quadra relations. I would guess comparative, contrary or super-id. If they are using different wording but meaning the same thing, this could suggest being strong in certain elements but valuing different ones. I know this has happened with me and the delta NF's in my family. Whereas if it was something like super-ego, I would expect the meaning to be a lot more muddied.
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    Creepy-Diana

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    That basically summed up my relationship with a Super-Ego perfectly.

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    Creepy-Diana

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    That basically summed up my relationship with a Super-Ego perfectly.
    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    That's interesting. Even the communication part?
    I agree on that. All i can say here is that with the superego relationship i had, i felt as if i had to withdrawl contacts from this person every 2 days; spending more than a day and a half with this person would create some sort of internal squeezing tension (conceptually) where i just would run out of positive things to say and do (as perceivable from the other person) in all likelihood a quadra value conflict thing (something that doesnt happen amongst some of the other types).....but once i left them i had a desire to be with them soon once this tension went away after about a days worth of rest (keep in mind that there were no real circumstantial surface problems to force me to leave--- it all appeared to be a psychological push).

    When we talked it would go in spurts of confidence areas, with always a slight resonance of support offered up by one party to the other in almost always equal quantities. There was very little bluffing or pretense on the surface but a mere kind of respect at a distance and support at a distance. When support was asked for in closer proximities, i found it rather hard to offer though there was intent of some sort there and found the same to be the case coming friom the other party.

    This relationship lasted about 3 months before there was just too much psychological distance to overcome and while the breakup was supposed to on the surface be in good terms it wasn't underneath it all (don't fully know why though) That was with a female obviously. I also had rather almost completely identical mannerisms experienced with a friendship with a male of the exact same type. thats about all that i can say in detail.
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    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    You're fine with not seeing each other for a time, but then when you do it's really good for awhile until you just get burnt out, you run out of things to do or say and just need to get away from each other for awhile again. You feel like you're really similar, but different in a way that you just can't put your finger on. The pattern goes: drawn in, fun/intensity, overload, retreat, recover, drawn in again.

    You have similar problems, and see things in similar ways, and can give good advice to each other when it's needed, but you don't at first realize how similar your problems are. Once you do, it seems like you're living parallel lives, always facing the same issues. But it becomes more and more of a strain to communicate unless you get a good long break. Then it's easier again.
    I usually feel exactly this way with ILI's, so I'd have to say kindred/comparative.
    Last edited by fox; 01-04-2009 at 07:11 AM.
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    I think that could be a good description of an activity between an ISFj and an INTp (some other activities might sound different). A possible alternative being superego. I doubt an introvert-extravert relation, it's rare that the problems faced are similar.
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