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Thread: cd I'm working on

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2007
    176 Post(s)
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    Default cd I'm working on

    rough draft of a song I'm working on called 'Contradictory.'

    Act how they do on tv
    But then sorta don't
    come on baby
    gotta get rid of contradictory

    You think you string me along
    But I've learned to live without you
    How could I be so strong?

    I never wanted something straight
    But my emotions need yanking with
    To keep the smell of you fresh

    Oh if you wanna do me, then do me already
    What is there to 'get to know?'
    Nobody's that complicated
    Nobody's that special
    (Seriously) Except you
    (Sarcastically) Except you

    Your head needs to come down around from up and below
    We say we just wanna feel pure love ya, pure love....
    But there's no Earth Goddess to your Father Sky and,
    The thought of never feeling your maw makes everything die

    Can you take me
    Without me being gone
    (You can fuck me close to death and then stop)
    Can you have me, while I keep myself too

    We get lost and found and lost again
    It doesn't have to be that hard
    Just gotta get rid of contradictory
    And then don't
    n0ki: If it weren't for faggy civilization, people like me and bnd would be totally dead by now.

  2. #2
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    3w4 sx/so
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    Pretty cool, on the whole. I like the feel of it. It's very you: vulnerable, honest, but unashamed and brave at the same time.

    I think you could do better than "need yanking with," though. Also the "fuck me close to death" is a bit out of place; it's way more graphic than the rest, and although it fits with you it stands out as gratuitous with regards to the rest of the lyrics.

    Overall, I like it
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  3. #3
    Landlord of the Dog and Duck Subteigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    EII-Ne Sp/So
    162 Post(s)
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    This song reminds me of Personality Crisis by the New York Dolls.

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