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Thread: cd I'm working on

  1. #1
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    Default cd I'm working on

    rough draft of a song I'm working on called 'Contradictory.'

    Act how they do on tv
    But then sorta don't
    come on baby
    gotta get rid of contradictory

    You think you string me along
    But I've learned to live without you
    How could I be so strong?

    I never wanted something straight
    But my emotions need yanking with
    To keep the smell of you fresh

    Oh if you wanna do me, then do me already
    What is there to 'get to know?'
    Nobody's that complicated
    Nobody's that special
    (Seriously) Except you
    (Sarcastically) Except you

    Your head needs to come down around from up and below
    We say we just wanna feel pure love ya, pure love....
    But there's no Earth Goddess to your Father Sky and,
    The thought of never feeling your maw makes everything die

    Can you take me
    Without me being gone
    (You can fuck me close to death and then stop)
    Can you have me, while I keep myself too

    We get lost and found and lost again
    It doesn't have to be that hard
    Just gotta get rid of contradictory
    And then don't

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Pretty cool, on the whole. I like the feel of it. It's very you: vulnerable, honest, but unashamed and brave at the same time.

    I think you could do better than "need yanking with," though. Also the "fuck me close to death" is a bit out of place; it's way more graphic than the rest, and although it fits with you it stands out as gratuitous with regards to the rest of the lyrics.

    Overall, I like it
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Landlord of the Dog and Duck Subteigh's Avatar
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    Default

    This song reminds me of Personality Crisis by the New York Dolls.

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    Default Bow Untied (2nd song on cd)

    You say I put a pretty bow on things
    A bow on shit and death
    Is still shit and death

    I'm sorry I have the social worker glaze
    I'm sorry I'm still in a boyhood daze
    I'm sorry that my soul has been in a maze

    I change nothing
    I'm an artist
    I just inspire you to do
    What you already knew you should have done all along

    I'm a cheerleader
    Then a warrior
    And I don't know which role is more wrong

    I'm trying to break through, I'm trying to find
    What is beyond boys and bows
    And the nothing boys and bows bring

    We've painted over the real for so long,
    Nobody ever knows... because once you do know,
    You just die, and then what's the point and
    When I'm real it would just make you cry

    So you'll know a little better, when I die....
    My bow will become untied

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    Default Real Man Now

    Oh you like that straight guy
    He makes art, and writes poetry
    And all that faggy left-wing stuff
    (He even surfs too!)
    He's cooler than me, yes
    He's hotter than me, yes
    You speak for gay rights
    But don't like other gays
    Where's my bottle of fag b gone when I need it?

    But you know deep down, that's not the thing
    The only question is, can he be there for you?
    I can be there for you

    I can't dance,
    I can't play sports
    I'm not the best
    (Actually I'm not that good in much anything)
    But I can be there for my man
    You sold your soul for style

    Oh I just want a real man
    Somebody whose ego isn't out of control
    I just want a real man
    Somebody that knows how to give and take
    Somebody who can just be there

    Nobody cares but you,
    That you're smart and kiss puppies
    (And cool and hot)
    Nobody cares but you
    Oh just get over yourself,
    Nobody cares but you
    That you wrote a really good story
    Just be there for us

    Oh you try to fix me because you don't like yourself
    Trying to patch up my holes because you don't like the one you got
    I don't think you hate yourself, you look too pretty to hate yourself
    But you don't like yourself, and son, that can be just as bad!
    (And I'm not your job, so buy a clue)

    Oh I just want a real man
    Somebody whose ego isn't out of control
    I just want a real man
    Somebody who knows how to give and take
    Somebody who can just be there

    (You don't gotta be good, just be there
    Just show up already, faggot!)

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    UDP's Avatar
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    these elusive "Real Man" creatures seem very rare indeed - interesting to here your take on it though.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Good. Harsh , but good.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Thank you.

    Yeah I realized it's kinda bite-y but I need it to be.

    Maybe I can find something to sing about besides being 'gay' but to me all music is gay , I just kinda ... am not so subtle about it, because anything artsy is gay and like self-expressive and shit, so all my songs... or most of them, will be gay-ish. Because being gay is just about like the human need to express yourself no matter what.

    Psychology is gay. Human development, is gay. "Wanting to be liked for who you really are" is VERY gay. Anything with the word 'human' in it is pretty much gay. Even if you yourself are not.

    If they're not gay, then ... they're not soulful, they're not really music... Life itself is a beautiful slow suicide. Everything is gay. I just think, that's what we all need to embrace.

    Hollywood here I come! *snicker* J/k but yeah.

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    Default Darkness and Sparks

    Can I tame the beast within
    If I'm not hard on me, who will be
    Can I quiet the beast within
    The monster that just wants me to keep biting
    Underground in eternal darkness

    You wanted to connect
    But I just pushed you away
    Fear and love and sex
    Blended together to become all the same thing

    You had hopes, you had dreams
    Now you're singing your sad tune in the darkness with me

    Everything feels so dark
    Everything feels so bad

    The wayward get curious about the dark
    With no heroes to save them
    It consumed many a potential
    You always have that choice, but you feel if it comes all at once
    It will kill you
    So you settled for tiny sparks, and most days it just doesn't feel like enough

    But we can't be perfect, darkness expands
    The sun always comes up, and the sun always sets
    It's hard to liberate and encourage you when you always seem to be up
    But it's a lie, I see the veil - take it off, I won't kill you if you're in pain
    I won't kill you if you're in pain
    I'm still human, I go for the hurt- I don't go for the kill

    So stay down and restrained
    Thank the darkness
    Kiss the beast
    Buy it presents
    Is there really any other way
    Your time will come if, you just remember that-
    Sadness can teach you something
    Sadness can teach you something

    Nobody wants to be the bad guy I-
    Don't think you can still properly internalize
    The destruction you are capable of

    You are unsure, keep guessing
    You are never the one
    You can't go at it alone
    People want you to be happy, but you know, you have
    A lot of work left on you to do. Show your real face,
    If it's a vampire- that is fine. Even they need to be loved, but
    Oh we still won't let you hurt that person. We still will make you feel like shit for it

    Everything can feel - it's not about that, sadly
    that doesn't give you a free pass
    Because you can deeply feel love, now does it?

    Not many people, do it, none of us truly make it, looking at the corpses walking around,
    None of us really ever vanquish the darkness within.
    Invite death and destruction and eternal suffering easily, or go through a painful long-winded quest to save your spark
    There's no god, oh you have to save yourself, we can help you
    But you have to save yourself

    Don't lie about your spark, you can't lie
    Don't be fake like that, don't be a stupid unhealthy 3
    The 4s see that shit, roll their eyes and write emo poetry about it

    Don't ever lie about your spark,
    Fight for it no matter how long it takes. And it will be long, but you gotta remain that
    Spark in your eye

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    Default Not That Deep

    Not to be a vapid porn star whore
    vacant and destroyed by lust

    But seriously guy, get a grip
    You're not that deep, nobody is

    I like to get to know ya slowly over time
    But ya try to make it happen all at once
    If I'm already there where is there left to go?
    Huh, what the hell?! Just take it slow

    There's nothing to look forward to
    You tell, you don't show
    What the hell man

    You haven't figured yourself out, just go away
    Until you sign the deal, don't bother me
    You wanna become this abstract god that thinks he can look in the world
    Via generalities

    You are physiology more than you are psychology
    Get over it babe,
    You are just not that deep

    I know you have something in there besides maybes
    I know you have something in there besides emptiness
    I know you have something in there besides misty ideals
    I know you have something better to do than to psychoanalyze other people online while doing jack shit in your own life

    So just show me already
    If it's terrible at least that's something

    So just show me already
    If it's violent at least that's something

    So just be a man already
    I am tired of doing this with you

    If you just wanna fuck,
    THEN JUST SAY SO
    (Do I look like I'm stupid or something?)

    But fuck you, I also have the power to say no

    If you're good then I'll keep ya if you're bad then I'll change ya if you're lost then I'll find ya but you gotta be real and just show

    And you're not that deep

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    Hmm. No offense, but, why is this in general discussion?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  12. #12
    Creepy-bg

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Hmm. No offense, but, why is this in general discussion?
    because your mom sucks off indians for spare change.

  13. #13
    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Are these lyrics?????
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

  14. #14
    Creepy-bg

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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Are these lyrics?????
    mine were

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat View Post
    mine were
    lol
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    Hmm... at first I kinda identified with whoever you were talking about, but as I read on I realized it didn't quite fit me... but the way that poem lumps everything together, if it half-fits me, there must be something wrong with it (or my interpretation of it).

    I don't particularly think of myself as going slow, because I keep wanting to decide what the relationship is going to be on day 1... on the other hand, at that point I fully intend to wait another two years before having sex (that is, getting married, which comes to the same thing in my book). Astoundingly, people have a tendency to interfere with my sovereign judgment before the two years are up...

    Perhaps the problem is in the line "You're not that deep, nobody is"? Because I take exception with that, in and of itself.



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