Last edited by dinki; 05-27-2009 at 10:02 PM.
hmmmm. the estp I know moved two states away (decades ago) to be with the girl he was in love with when he was a sophomore in college. no questions asked, he was head over heels. so yeah, I think they're prone to do that sort of thing when they're completely whipped. He makes a decision and goes with it. I'm guessing that the trick is, with SLEs, to make them want it. Make him feel it. He's not going to feel it for you if you're wallowing. You've got to get out there and get yourself a life without him. Then if he hears about all the cool things you're doing, maybe he'll contact you. Or maybe not and you'll meet someone even better. Don't worry too much about duality, just focus on being the best self you can be without anyone else and then stay open to meeting everyone and they'll come running. (well, maybe)
If you want to contact him, you could ask him advice on something that you know he's good at. But don't make it be about your feelings or your relationship with him. It must be unrelated to that. Do you have some shared interests or activities with him? Focus on those and make sure he can tell that you're VERY happy and that it doesn't bother you that he hasn't contacted you.
I don't think you should assume you're not good enough. You are who you are. Just be yourself and if that's not good enough for him, screw him. It's his loss.
Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.
Real life duality is more challenging...
People are lost... most of them don't have a clue about what they want. Sure, they have moments of awareness but... they're not as frequent as you might think.
Anyway... from my recent interaction with a very nice ESTp I discovered that they like independent, on their own people. In my case, she wants a strong man standing tall next to her.
Now, we all know IEI have a tendency to whine... but this is not a charming tendency... the charming tendency is FORCE! and with an IEI that is inner FORCE.
So, my advice is to just BE you! The FEARLESS you!
Technique is easy to explain: Perfect Love casts out fear. Perfect love is obtained by removing the obstacles you have in front of you heart. Obstacles are removed by melting them with awareness.
My favorite teacher is Anthony de Mello. Here is a small excerpt of his teaching:
Take a look, maybe it helps.
Sigma, I don't have time to respond. But I just wanted to say, you're post is really funny. Keep up the good worwk.
Oh! You are right, I think I have overestimated his confidence when it comes to me (if I were him I wouldn't have any considering how I have responded to him in the past, opps...!) & I always forget that you guys aren't the smoothest because you just seem so freakin' loveable to me... Thank you Ezra !