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Thread: ESTps (Again :P)

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    Default ESTps. (Again :P)

    ha =
    Last edited by dinki; 05-27-2009 at 11:02 PM.

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    hmmmm. the estp I know moved two states away (decades ago) to be with the girl he was in love with when he was a sophomore in college. no questions asked, he was head over heels. so yeah, I think they're prone to do that sort of thing when they're completely whipped. He makes a decision and goes with it. I'm guessing that the trick is, with SLEs, to make them want it. Make him feel it. He's not going to feel it for you if you're wallowing. You've got to get out there and get yourself a life without him. Then if he hears about all the cool things you're doing, maybe he'll contact you. Or maybe not and you'll meet someone even better. Don't worry too much about duality, just focus on being the best self you can be without anyone else and then stay open to meeting everyone and they'll come running. (well, maybe)

    If you want to contact him, you could ask him advice on something that you know he's good at. But don't make it be about your feelings or your relationship with him. It must be unrelated to that. Do you have some shared interests or activities with him? Focus on those and make sure he can tell that you're VERY happy and that it doesn't bother you that he hasn't contacted you.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    hmmmm. the estp I know moved two states away (decades ago) to be with the girl he was in love with when he was a sophomore in college. no questions asked, he was head over heels. so yeah, I think they're prone to do that sort of thing when they're completely whipped. He makes a decision and goes with it. I'm guessing that the trick is, with SLEs, to make them want it. Make him feel it. But he does want it, he was obssesive when it came to me, not to be arrogant just thats how everyone called it. He's not going to feel it for you if you're wallowing. You've got to get out there and get yourself a life without him. Then if he hears about all the cool things you're doing, maybe he'll contact you. I know it's not that he doesn't feel it that he doesn't want it. I could feel the obsession whenever he was around, the ache, the lust; all of it. So I know it's not that he doesn't feel it that he hasn't made a move. I just think maybe it's because he doesn't think I am good enough. And I have made a new life for myself, the only thing that it's lacking in is him. But I am afraid, what I have become still isn't good enough for him. I don't know what is good enough, I don't know what he wants from me...maybe I am just projecting, I know that us Is always feel beneath our E duals, but I don't know if that is all this is.

    Or maybe not and you'll meet someone even better. Ooo I hope so! ! Don't worry too much about duality, just focus on being the best self you can be without anyone else and then stay open to meeting everyone and they'll come running. (well, maybe)

    If you want to contact him, you could ask him advice on something that you know he's good at. But don't make it be about your feelings or your relationship with him. It must be unrelated to that. Do you have some shared interests or activities with him? Focus on those and make sure he can tell that you're VERY happy and that it doesn't bother you that he hasn't contacted you. Thanks, that is great advice, I will try this!

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    I don't think you should assume you're not good enough. You are who you are. Just be yourself and if that's not good enough for him, screw him. It's his loss.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    ...been here longer than the fucking monarchy Ezra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dinki View Post
    Man, I am seriously deprived of dualityyy & it is depressing me! I know of one dual (well 2, but the other one is insane, and I got to stay away or else I will want them!).

    Oh there is another dual. We were insanely into each other but I got a scholarship and so left the college he was at. What is really getting to me is that he didn't say anything. If he really wanted me, then he would come and find me(right?), he has tried to get something going before. He overheard me saying to my friend shortly before I left that I liked him so why didn't he do anything about it? He knew I was leaving. I have been away from him for a few months now, and he hasn't even contacted me! I know, I should just get over it. I thought I would, I have tried but he just won't leave my mind.

    Maybe this is irrational and expecting too much of him. But I just don't understand, I was so sure he would do something =/. I know he’s not over it. So is it that he figures I am not good enough (college social hierarchy, and the dumb thing is that all his cool friends were Betas & the only damn reason I was beneath it is because I am shy!) and is trying to get over it that he hasn't contacted me?

    I really need another dual, how its been with him is just too shit, he always makes me feel like I am not good enough & I want to be good enough and at the same time I am so mad at him for being such an arrogant dick over it.

    Geez what is up with that, man? Why hasn't he done anything? Also, How do I approach an Estp? I need an excuse to talk to them, whats a good one?!

    Thanks guys
    He's probably shy. I think people overestimate an SLE's determination in establishing something with their dual. Firstly, they might not see it as a high priority on their list (take me currently for instance - right now, a girlfriend is the last thing on my mind). Secondly, they're not SEEs. They don't just network and flirt and shit for the sake of it. And they're not BRILLIANT at wooing the opposite sex like SEEs are. Some of them don't even enjoy it. Thirdly, and practically, he may not like you. So what if you like him and he has heard this. You know he's your dual. Does he know you're his? Does he know about the fucking amazing lifelong relationship you'll have if you get it on? Of course not.
    Ideas don't determine who's right. Power determines who's right. And I have the power. So I'm right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    He's probably shy. I think people overestimate an SLE's determination in establishing something with their dual. Firstly, they might not see it as a high priority on their list (take me currently for instance - right now, a girlfriend is the last thing on my mind). Secondly, they're not SEEs. They don't just network and flirt and shit for the sake of it. And they're not BRILLIANT at wooing the opposite sex like SEEs are. Some of them don't even enjoy it. Thirdly, and practically, he may not like you. So what if you like him and he has heard this. You know he's your dual. Does he know you're his? Does he know about the fucking amazing lifelong relationship you'll have if you get it on? Of course not.
    good points all.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    He's probably shy. I think people overestimate an SLE's determination in establishing something with their dual. Firstly, they might not see it as a high priority on their list (take me currently for instance - right now, a girlfriend is the last thing on my mind). Secondly, they're not SEEs. They don't just network and flirt and shit for the sake of it. And they're not BRILLIANT at wooing the opposite sex like SEEs are. Some of them don't even enjoy it. Thirdly, and practically, he may not like you. So what if you like him and he has heard this. You know he's your dual. Does he know you're his? Does he know about the fucking amazing lifelong relationship you'll have if you get it on? Of course not.
    This is very true, SLE are not master of people and relationship but master at conquering obstacles in life especially physically work. SEE can talk, make contacts with who they like at ease. How can an SLE balance the art of mastering and applying their understanding of how to get what they want, when FI is their polr? and understanding how somebody feel is not what they are good at.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dinki View Post
    Geez what is up with that, man? Why hasn't he done anything? Also, How do I approach an Estp? I need an excuse to talk to them, whats a good one?!
    You're drinking too much socionics... and your world might start to look very colored.
    Real life duality is more challenging...

    People are lost... most of them don't have a clue about what they want. Sure, they have moments of awareness but... they're not as frequent as you might think.

    Anyway... from my recent interaction with a very nice ESTp I discovered that they like independent, on their own people. In my case, she wants a strong man standing tall next to her.

    Now, we all know IEI have a tendency to whine... but this is not a charming tendency... the charming tendency is FORCE! and with an IEI that is inner FORCE.

    So, my advice is to just BE you! The FEARLESS you!

    Technique is easy to explain: Perfect Love casts out fear. Perfect love is obtained by removing the obstacles you have in front of you heart. Obstacles are removed by melting them with awareness.

    My favorite teacher is Anthony de Mello. Here is a small excerpt of his teaching:


    Take a look, maybe it helps.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Sigma, I don't have time to respond. But I just wanted to say, you're post is really funny. Keep up the good worwk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    Sigma, I don't have time to respond. But I just wanted to say, you're post is really funny. Keep up the good worwk.
    Thanks!
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    He's probably shy. I think people overestimate an SLE's determination in establishing something with their dual. Firstly, they might not see it as a high priority on their list (take me currently for instance - right now, a girlfriend is the last thing on my mind). Secondly, they're not SEEs. They don't just network and flirt and shit for the sake of it. And they're not BRILLIANT at wooing the opposite sex like SEEs are. Some of them don't even enjoy it. Thirdly, and practically, he may not like you. So what if you like him and he has heard this. You know he's your dual. Does he know you're his? Does he know about the fucking amazing lifelong relationship you'll have if you get it on? Of course not.

    Oh! You are right, I think I have overestimated his confidence when it comes to me (if I were him I wouldn't have any considering how I have responded to him in the past, opps...!) & I always forget that you guys aren't the smoothest because you just seem so freakin' loveable to me... Thank you Ezra !

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I don't think you should assume you're not good enough. You are who you are. Just be yourself and if that's not good enough for him, screw him. It's his loss.

    Aw, thanks Redbaron , x.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mpiazza000 View Post
    This is very true, SLE are not master of people and relationship but master at conquering obstacles in life especially physically work. SEE can talk, make contacts with who they like at ease. How can an SLE balance the art of mastering and applying their understanding of how to get what they want, when FI is their polr? and understanding how somebody feel is not what they are good at.
    Oh thankyou! I keep forgetting about this... I keep doing the whole, if I were him deal, forgetting he doesn't see things like I do.

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    I think this ^^^^^^^^^ guy has a crush on me.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

  15. #15
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    I think this ^^^^^^^^^ guy seriously has a crush on me.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sigma View Post
    You're drinking too much socionics... and your world might start to look very colored.
    Real life duality is more challenging...

    People are lost... most of them don't have a clue about what they want. Sure, they have moments of awareness but... they're not as frequent as you might think.

    Anyway... from my recent interaction with a very nice ESTp I discovered that they like independent, on their own people. In my case, she wants a strong man standing tall next to her.

    Now, we all know IEI have a tendency to whine... but this is not a charming tendency... the charming tendency is FORCE! and with an IEI that is inner FORCE.

    So, my advice is to just BE you! The FEARLESS you!

    Technique is easy to explain: Perfect Love casts out fear. Perfect love is obtained by removing the obstacles you have in front of you heart. Obstacles are removed by melting them with awareness.

    My favorite teacher is Anthony de Mello. Here is a small excerpt of his teaching:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbRHqqVYEU

    Take a look, maybe it helps.
    LOL! I guess so! Wow, good post, thanks for the video link, that is so good stuff!

    x

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    He's probably shy. I think people overestimate an SLE's determination in establishing something with their dual. Firstly, they might not see it as a high priority on their list (take me currently for instance - right now, a girlfriend is the last thing on my mind). Secondly, they're not SEEs. They don't just network and flirt and shit for the sake of it. And they're not BRILLIANT at wooing the opposite sex like SEEs are. Some of them don't even enjoy it. Thirdly, and practically, he may not like you. So what if you like him and he has heard this. You know he's your dual. Does he know you're his? Does he know about the fucking amazing lifelong relationship you'll have if you get it on? Of course not.
    huzzah
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    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

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