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Thread: Mirror relations ESTj & ISTp (LSE-SLI)

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    Default Mirror relations ESTj & ISTp (LSE-SLI)

    Does anyone have any examples of this relationship?

    I think I know one, that sounds like it was short lived... unfortunately I don't know much about it, but the ISTp i know sounds like she is on good terms with her ex.

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    Anna and her S.O.
    IEE

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    Ritella's Avatar
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    Nope. I've always wondered if these mirrors actually ever connect. It seems like they'd have no reason to, other than for business. I can imagine them being really dull together and almost avoidant.
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Only in friendship not dating. Some ESTj's i've known it's been purely working relationship, at work, like Ritella says. But a good business relation. But like I say, haven't dated one. Over to someone else.

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    Twist-Tie Spider iAnnAu's Avatar
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    (Some or even a lot of this may not even be related to type)

    He's incredibly curt, efficient, and holds very specific expectations of his coworkers while he's at work, but once he's signed off (he works from home), he's entirely relaxed and largely informal. A couple of times I've interrupted him in his office when he was working, and he does not like that ... and yet, if he's not working, I can go into the very same room, up to him sitting in the very same place, and he'll be happy to see me, maybe even playfully poking me or making me look at the latest LOL on the internets.

    I see strong similarities in the way that I am very businesslike at work, except that he doesn't mind being in charge of people, and I can't stand it. He seems to not mind "playing the game" of office politics, or if coworkers are intimidated because of his rank in the hierarchy. He doesn't ask why there is a game to be played; he just figures out how to use it in his favor. I feel like I'm compromising internally by playing along (he's told me I'm silly and holding myself back with this attitude). He's willing to banter small talk in order to get people to feel good about him, whereas I want to skip that shit, and resent being judged because I don't ask you how your kids are when you asked me "how about this weather?"

    He loves explaining topics that he's collected a large amount of data on, and has more than once looked frustrated when I called uncle under the onslaught of facts. I mean, I like learning new things, but if you wanna spend 20 minutes explaining IT security principles for multinational corporations when I hardly know how to set up a firewall ... well, I also don't like feeling like my eyes are glazing over. In contrast, he often finds entertainment value in how my shallow but broad range of random info allows me to interject STUFF into conversations of almost any topic. (And FTR, Elro has wondered if this among other things might be an indication that he's actually SLE instead of LSE)

    More often, though, we'll get into conversations on intellectual topics where each of us has significant contributions, and it's very satisfying (although if we've each got an internet connection, we'll just keep pulling up more information until our bellies tell us to fucking shut up and eat something). Almost all our talk is concrete unless you count discussing possible trends in the future such as peak oil or the economy (and who *isn't* talking about that shit lately?). And even then, we talk about it in concrete terms - what can be done, as opposed to how people will feel about it.

    We also decry lack of common sense, and will often try to one-up each other with tales of stupidity involving our coworkers or people driving or things in news stories. I know I'm blind to my own cognitive dissonance, but damn are we surrounded by sleepwalkers! Neither do we spare each other when one of us is caught doing something silly - although we've always shown tact and respect in bringing it up, and so far it's usually ended up with both of us laughing about it.

    He used to have a modified a waterbed frame holding an air mattress, and I helped him take it apart to replace a broken piece of wood in it. Then we got a sleep-number bed - I probably would have never bought something like this for myself, but he has refined tastes in furniture, and I have to admit the bed kicks ass. We also built and designed a mega-desk together; it takes up the 2nd bedroom and holds his 3 work laptops, his personal desktop and latop, and my little mutt of a laptop. The desk is also modifiable for future installation in rooms of different dimensions. We also recently put up shelving on a track system in the living room; since the furniture is all dark, he chose it black (I would have chosen white because it matches the walls, but I admit it looks striking in black).

    It's kinda funny, because there's almost no decorations in the apartment - neither of us feels the need for it. But he has strong feelings on what he wants in his durable goods, such as couch, TV (he just bought a 46" plasma) and car (black '98 Prelude kept scrupulously clean). I enjoy the use of these things, but things are all they are to me - I could easily make do with less, or even without. For example, Elro can confirm as to the whirlwind of mess that resides in my crappy minivan, and up until we built the mega-desk I just used my laptop wherever.

    We split everything more or less evenly - we each do our own laundry, we pay for our own meals out, we trade driving to places, etc. This is easier than it might otherwise be because my diet is so different than his that we rarely eat the same thing even at home - we even buy groceries separately. He's made up a spreadsheet whereby we can track the bills we split - I pay rent, he pays water, elec, internet, Netflix, and then pays me back any difference. He's explained that he doesn't mind paying for certain things on occasion, but it's important to me, and he's admitted that he does appreciate it.

    Hmmm ... what else ... he loves ballroom dancing, but I can just tell I won't fit in with the BRD crowd. I dislike dressing up; women aren't even supposed to show up to lessons unless you're in a dress and heels. We both love dancing to techno and related break beats, but he's a little reticent to go to gay bars, which is about the only place to find it around here (and I totally understand his feeling of not being able to fully relax in that atmosphere). We also both enjoy joining my brother (who is the person through whom we met, and my guess for his type is SEI) for some disc golf or hackey sack, and hiking in nature while taking a stoopid amount of pictures.

    He can be really, really silly; I like it because he's one of the most competent people I've ever met but he doesn't take himself too seriously. I'm the one who tends to take myself too seriously, and I seem to do that a lot less lately with him around. He's got these awful endearments that he loves to use, like "Babycakes" and "Sweetiepie" and when I roll my eyes at them, he sticks out his tongue at me ...

    He also fidgets horribly - if we're sitting next to one another, he'll be more playing with my hand than holding it. Pushing the pads of his fingers into my nails, bending my fingers, pushing his fingers between mine, drumming on my knuckles, etc. I don't know why, but it usually doesn't bother me - and if it starts to, and I pull my hand away, he'll just start playing with the side-seam on my pants or something else. I used to think *I* was fidgety, but when I'm around him, it's actually kinda calming - as if he's fidgeting enough for the both of us!

    More if I can think of it ... and sorry, but all I'm gonna say about our sex life is that it's goooooooood.
    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Bukowski
    We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
    SLI

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    hehehhehe

    that was great. Really painted a pic and does sound like an ESTj ..

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    Twist-Tie Spider iAnnAu's Avatar
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    I *did* think of something else: He's extremely competitive. He's a good sport, but he wants to win. Me, I want to be good at what I do, but I don't really care about winning.

    I got him into ping-pong, and within a month he was better than me. I actually like this, because when I play somebody better than me, it raises the level of my play. But we still don't keep score; I just notice that his skill is higher.

    He no longer plays pool with me because he's tired of almost always losing. And when I lose, it's because I scratched on the 8-ball. I've been playing pool for-fucking-ever and my dad was a pretty good teacher, so I'm fairly good (amongst all my friends, only my brother can beat me more than 10% of the time). He's not bad, but I'm enough of a higher skill level that he's completely lost interest in playing with me. I also think it pisses him off that I'm so blase about playing; it's a very zen activity for me, so I just walk up to the table when it's my turn and shoot. I bet if I didn't make it look so easy I wouldn't have turned him off so strongly ...
    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Bukowski
    We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
    SLI

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    Twist-Tie Spider iAnnAu's Avatar
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    Here's a few pics of him:


    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Bukowski
    We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
    SLI

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    I'm beginning to think my ex's best friend was ESTj. He sounds a LOT like Anna's S.O. The first photo even looks quite a bit like him, minus the 'stache and red hair. If that's the case, they got along great. They were inseparable til the guy got married and his wife dragged him out to the burbs and put the lock-down on his entire social life. They even dressed up one year as the Ambiguously Gay Duo.
    IEE

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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