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Thread: ILE acting like an arsehole

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    dinki's Avatar
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    Default ILE acting like an arsehole...

    There is this ILE that I know, who used to get a lot of shit, as he was so sweet and easygoing.

    So now he has turned into a total arsehole. Which I kind of understand, so I was trying to be sweet to him in the hopes that he may become less insecure, but he is oblivious. He is realy horrible to everyone regardless of their treatment of him.

    So what would it take for him to stop being so cruel? I think he is only being like this as a way to defend himself, he is afraid other people will lash out at him so he lashes out first...

    I do quite like him and I feel a connection with him but I am just finding this so annoying, and I tell him so, I have a go at him everytime he acts like an arse, but I don't know if this is how to get him to stop in the long run (as an ILE he wants to be liked by everyone, right? So if I & a few others who he values were to reject him when being cruel then maybe he would stop?).

    Has anyone got any ideas of this, on how to help him and to stop him from smashing up everyones self-confidence?

    It really is destroying his relationships, people just get so pissed off with it, they just don't want to be around him.

    <3 Thanks

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    do what an ISFp would do and leave him alone. he sounds unhealthy. eventually if he can pull himself together, he'll come find ya. otherwise...
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    An ISFp would probably just hand the guy a condom and tell him to "cover that crap up" ... then go do other things while he gets the hint.

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    Board philosopher or bored philosopher? jason_m's Avatar
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    Try to get through to him, but if that doesn't work, it's not worth it. One's PoLR function is not an excuse for bad behaviour that is excessive, as there are plenty of ENTps who don't act that way.

    Jason
    LII

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Nobody is perfect and everybody has ups and downs. Talk to the guy and make him understand what is wrong with him. If it doesn't work, break his legs
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
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    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    They can't help being asses. They're ILEs.
    Thank u, Mr conflictor
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
    DCNH: Dominant --> perhaps Normalizing
    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie View Post
    They can't help being asses. They're ILEs.
    I was actually going to say the same thing, lol.
    ILE
    7w8 so/sp

    Very busy with work. Only kind of around.

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    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    Personally I would take him away somewhere where nobody else can influence anything and sit him down and just say "look, I'm doing this as your friend. You're acting a little out of line with people in general lately, and it's making it quite difficult to be your friend, because it's affecting me as well. Just relax, stop being so defensive, and you might find people get along with you better. There's no need to be so defensive. Are we cool? Ok, let's go get a drink then, and no hard felings, ok? We're cool."
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    Personally I would take him away somewhere where nobody else can influence anything and sit him down and just say "look, I'm doing this as your friend. You're acting a little out of line with people in general lately, and it's making it quite difficult to be your friend, because it's affecting me as well. Just relax, stop being so defensive, and you might find people get along with you better. There's no need to be so defensive. Are we cool? Ok, let's go get a drink then, and no hard felings, ok? We're cool."
    Very good.

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