Ok so heres the story. Ive known an ISTp since i was 5 years old. We got into a fight (of course i won, j/ks) and the principle made us shake hands so we were friends. This guy has always been a firery ginger. He used to fight with lots of people. This guy has had a tough life. Many of my friends didn't like him, he got kind of picked on in school, and in general has just been wayward for years.
Hes been smoking pot for 10 years now. He holds a job as a tree cutter but spends most of his time in his room (parents garage). His cognitions are just screwed up. Thinks girls are dumb and just has this bundle of unhealthy thoughts wound so tight in his brain it would take me days to try to understand them. My ESTj doctor friend thinks hes fucked, he just said its too late for him now, hes missed the life stages that would have led him to be normal. He has some issues with this friend, saying he stole lots of girls from him in the past, which is basically totally wrong. The INFj girl fell for her dual, not her activity partner (funny that).
I would at least like to help, and i want him to quit pot. Im basically sure that my chances of me getting him to quit are about 1%. I have tackled the discussion from more angles you can point a stick at.
Ive told him i believe its medically wrong for him, could affect brain imbalance / actually shrink his brain. He tells me thats bullshit the research is wrong, class b drug blah blah, and he says that he will quit if it starts to do damage. I try to explain that its probablly been doing damage for the last 5 years. He said he quit riding when he broke his ankle. Im like dude that was an immediate effect this could be slow and long term.
Ive said that even if it doesn't effect him medically, he is booring as shit when hes on it, girls typically hate dope and thats why hes never had many long term girlfriends, and that i think it is probablly impairing his ability to work shit out and find his centre again (if it actually exists).
He just tells me that he is angry and violent without dope and It helps him sleep, helps him think and that people cant handle him without it. I just say this voilent person he remembers was him as a 15 year old kid. His brain was still growing. He hopefully has grown up and learnt some strategies. Anyway i just offered him money to try to quit for a few months. I recon my friend would pay also. Just to see.
So what do you guys think? Maybe im wrong and smoking dope on a daily basis isn't even that bad. Is this the best he can be, the way he is now? I mean i dont think pot is like the devils drug or anything. I just think its holding him back. If he continues down his path im certianlly not going to be his friend forever thats for sure. Thanks for reading
P.S - After all that reading, perhaps my timing was innapropriate. He has just finished his apprentiship and is now earning a lot more money, and thus wants to go out more. Perhaps his shit will finally begin working itself out by itself