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Thread: Relations outside of one's quadra

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    Default Relations outside of one's quadra

    Even with the knowledge of socionics, I still have problems dealing with personalities that are not in my quadra. Such as my benefactor or conflictor, how does one go about using that knowledge to make relations with all personality types beneficial?
    Last edited by The_Outsider; 11-24-2008 at 03:28 PM.
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    It is not possible because you can't control your own mind in full. The best use of socionics is to promote beneficial relationships and avoid the negative ones.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Outsider View Post
    Even with the knowledge of socionics, I still have problems dealing with personalities that are not in my quadra. Such as my benefactor or conflictor, how does one go about using that knowledge to make relations with all personality types beneficial?
    Strange...I only have problems with Betas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
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    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    It is not possible because you can't control your own mind in full. The best use of socionics is to promote beneficial relationships and avoid the negative ones.
    I agree, that approach makes the most sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Strange...I only have problems with Betas.
    I find Betas do give me the most problems, Alpha rationals give me some problems and Gammas I am fine with and Alpha irrationals I am fine with as well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    It is not possible because you can't control your own mind in full. The best use of socionics is to promote beneficial relationships and avoid the negative ones.
    Yep, I agree.

    People claiming to be able to manipulate relations and people with the knowledge of socionics are usually wrong.

    firstly, because when you manipulate, you aren't your true self anymore, which creates akward situations instead of obtaining the preferred outcome.

    secondly, interaction will always be in accordonance with socionics.

    When you promote beneficial relationship and avoid the negative ones, you are already getting a high rentability out of you socionics knowledge.

    Other ways of gaining advantage is letting the right types do the right jobs for you. Like asking an SEI to decorate your house, and an LSI to fill in you tax papers. It's not always perfect, but in the long term, you will outperform 'random choices'.

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    Default i liked that last reply

    need to get better at typing then or give my plumber a lot of tests... so does this sli desciption sound right??
    I would like to see what other tasks you would assign to types, especially iei....

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    well having problems with them and making them beneficial are different things.

    i still have problems with gamma my opposing quadra, but i try to make my ISFj coworker useful by asking her for information she likely has, such as where to get an item in the area. I have asked an ENTj how to be efficient with my finances..

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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    It is not possible because you can't control your own mind in full. The best use of socionics is to promote beneficial relationships and avoid the negative ones.
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Strange...I only have problems with Betas.
    Actually, your result is not strange at all. Deltas having issues with betas is to be expected; i.e., when there are no shared value functions between persons, the likelihood of misunderstanding and conflict increases considerably.

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    You can get along with people better, but only if your relationship is very superficial anyway. Like I do occasional volunteer work for an LSI. I know to tone things down and therefore I get along with her better than I have with other LSIs, but she and I will never be friends, and if I saw her more it would all fall apart. I partially have to grit my teeth during my occasional volunteering.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    need to get better at typing then or give my plumber a lot of tests... so does this sli desciption sound right??
    I would like to see what other tasks you would assign to types, especially iei....
    IEI is easy, they are extremely fast aware of psychological problems and behaviours in people. They have this almost 6th sense of what is going on with people. They are best as some sort of psychologist, therapist, counseler. And they also usually excel at making poems :-)

    They might be fitted for journalism, and helping out poor/disordered people or something like that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    IEI is easy, they are extremely fast aware of psychological problems and behaviours in people. They have this almost 6th sense of what is going on with people. They are best as some sort of psychologist, therapist, counseler. And they also usually excel at making poems :-)

    They might be fitted for journalism, and helping out poor/disordered people or something like that.
    Other than the poetry thing, you could just as easily be describing an IEE, you know, The Psychologist.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    Other than the poetry thing, you could just as easily be describing an IEE, you know, The Psychologist.
    I was thinking the same thing.
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    Yes that's true.

    But I was saying which type of profession/job they are suited for.

    ENFP and INFP are both good psychologists/counselers etc.

    Like INTP and ENTP are both good at computer programming.

    Types overlap in that regard, that shouldn't be surprising?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    Yes that's true.

    But I was saying which type of profession/job they are suited for.

    ENFP and INFP are both good psychologists/counselers etc.

    Like INTP and ENTP are both good at computer programming.

    Types overlap in that regard, that shouldn't be surprising?
    It just isn't a very good description of an IEI because it sounds too much like an IEE. It sounds more IEE than IEI.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    It just isn't a very good description of an IEI because it sounds too much like an IEE. It sounds more IEE than IEI.
    What task/job do you think would be good for an IEI?

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    IEI's imo make good councillors and psychologists, therapists, that sort of thing. They make good editors as they often have a flair for writing, which in turn leads to journalism.

    IEE's can be good at this as well, but they are better at reporting the news, and the IEI's tend to be better at writing the news.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mikemex View Post
    It is not possible because you can't control your own mind in full. The best use of socionics is to promote beneficial relationships and avoid the negative ones.
    Good Call

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    What task/job do you think would be good for an IEI?
    I think the jobs you said are good, along with nurse and carer, HR, teacher and many others. IEI's are better with people than me because they never seem to dislike anyone. I constantly dislike and are annoyed by many lol. I mean i know an IEI that constantly hangs around my friends ESTj, ENTj, INTp, INFj, and me. I couldn't do that with my equivilent intertype relationships. I think she was just blessed with a supremely chilled out personality or something.

    I find all types bareable to deal with though, i just like to stick with my own quadra.
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    As an ENTp, I get along very well with my comparatives (ENFps) and illusionaries (INFps) and well with my lookalikes (ESTps) and semiduals (ISTps). I have a fine relationship with Beta and delta rationals and I am at war with almost very gamma I know (it's their fault though!!, they bring hostility to every place they are).
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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    I think the jobs you said are good, along with nurse and carer, HR, teacher and many others. IEI's are better with people than me because they never seem to dislike anyone. I constantly dislike and are annoyed by many lol. I mean i know an IEI that constantly hangs around my friends ESTj, ENTj, INTp, INFj, and me. I couldn't do that with my equivilent intertype relationships. I think she was just blessed with a supremely chilled out personality or something.
    Yeah I agree. Overall, INFp's are usually easier to get on with for most peoples than ENFp's.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Yeah I agree. Overall, INFp's are usually easier to get on with for most peoples than ENFp's.
    I think its partially to do with the focus on vs . INFp's are happy just as long as the group is happy and the individual relationships aren't as important. For me, everything is personal
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    I do feel like I like everyone. And I really wanted to be an editor! But when I graduated, the only jobs available were for people with 5 years experience. So I ended up in temp work which turned into a permanent position in a different field. oh well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    I think its partially to do with the focus on vs . INFp's are happy just as long as the group is happy and the individual relationships aren't as important. For me, everything is personal
    Yeah this is a good call. I also have a sneaky suspicion that their Ni lets them see possible future scenarios, so when that goes into their Fe they are also pretty good at negotiating people situations - relationship pitfalls (with relationship don't necessarily mean with the dating, just all situations with folks in general)

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I do feel like I like everyone. And I really wanted to be an editor! But when I graduated, the only jobs available were for people with 5 years experience. So I ended up in temp work which turned into a permanent position in a different field. oh well.
    I wish I was that guy with the motorbike you spoke about before *swoons*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    I wish I was that guy with the motorbike you spoke about before *swoons*
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Yeah this is a good call. I also have a sneaky suspicion that their Ni lets them see possible future scenarios, so when that goes into their Fe they are also pretty good at negotiating people situations - relationship pitfalls (with relationship don't necessarily mean with the dating, just all situations with folks in general)
    Yeah. Fucken INFp's. They even make me love them. Little buggers
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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    Yeah. Fucken INFp's. They even make me love them. Little buggers
    we love you all. it's our secret weapon.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    we love you all. it's our secret weapon.


    P.S Sorry about the previous broken link. My puter sploded.
    Last edited by meatburger; 12-02-2008 at 01:23 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    we love you all. it's our secret weapon.
    it's not really very secret

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    it's not really very secret
    not anymore, you're right.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    not anymore, you're right.
    and it's more like a defect

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    and it's more like a defect
    why, cause now the secret's out?
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    why, cause now the secret's out?
    love is a risk .. the more you do it .. the more likely you are to get hurt ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I do feel like I like everyone. And I really wanted to be an editor! But when I graduated, the only jobs available were for people with 5 years experience. So I ended up in temp work which turned into a permanent position in a different field. oh well.
    This is really interesting as I actually work within an editing sort of role. My work encompasses typesetting, proof reading, design and helping others around the office with formatting. I really love it.

    In my spare time I tend to write quite a lot, but you guys don't see that so often as you see my paintings/drawings. I actually write almost every single day and I currently have two novels in the pipelines, as well as several blogs and general meanderings on life and human interaction in my personal life. I'm also really looking forward to an upcoming party, as I've been thinking a lot on creationism vs. magic vs. darwinism lately and I'm so ready to wax lyrical over a few beers with a couple of my fave ST and NT types.

    I'm just working on ironing out a few interpersonal social interactions between a few of us now (finally with some success) and hoping the party will create some harmony and balance within the group again, in a few weeks' time.

    Anyway, I'm moving away from my original point.....you pretty much summed up my job. If I wasn't doing this I would most definitely want to be either furthering my education in design and writing or studying psychology.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    love is a risk .. the more you do it .. the more likely you are to get hurt ...
    true enough. why the tiny type?
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    true enough. why the tiny type?
    i'm experimenting with emphasis

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    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    This is really interesting as I actually work within an editing sort of role. My work encompasses typesetting, proof reading, design and helping others around the office with formatting. I really love it.

    In my spare time I tend to write quite a lot, but you guys don't see that so often as you see my paintings/drawings. I actually write almost every single day and I currently have two novels in the pipelines, as well as several blogs and general meanderings on life and human interaction in my personal life. I'm also really looking forward to an upcoming party, as I've been thinking a lot on creationism vs. magic vs. darwinism lately and I'm so ready to wax lyrical over a few beers with a couple of my fave ST and NT types.

    I'm just working on ironing out a few interpersonal social interactions between a few of us now (finally with some success) and hoping the party will create some harmony and balance within the group again, in a few weeks' time.

    Anyway, I'm moving away from my original point.....you pretty much summed up my job. If I wasn't doing this I would most definitely want to be either furthering my education in design and writing or studying psychology.
    In high school I wanted to be a psychologist. I also studied design and photography in college. So it sounds like we have quite a few overlapping interests. I keep a blog also. And I do some writing but it's more short story-ish and nothing as huge as a novel. Your job sounds very cool!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    i'm experimenting with emphasis
    very effective. I like it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    very effective. I like it.
    y'know the people who i've had the clearest interactions with have been girls who can do fine movements, and who tend to push me into my big emphatic movements...

    in a way, by doing small controlled movements a lot of leverage can be had


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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    y'know the people who i've had the clearest interactions with have been girls who can do fine movements, and who tend to push me into my big emphatic movements...

    in a way, by doing small controlled movements a lot of leverage can be had

    hmm, interesting. It seems like SLEs and IEIs do work this way (I'm not saying you're necessarily SLE, just that it does seems like that's how they interact, often).
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    hmm, interesting. It seems like SLEs and IEIs do work this way (I'm not saying you're necessarily SLE, just that it does seems like that's how they interact, often).
    oh often i don't really interact with people

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