Results 1 to 36 of 36

Thread: Type this delightful mother/daughter convo:

  1. #1
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Chatbox
    TIM
    SEI, 9
    Posts
    5,268
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Type this delightful mother/daughter convo:

    ...
    Last edited by Rubicon; 11-27-2008 at 09:52 PM. Reason: hmm ...
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  2. #2
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    the daughter sounds like you.

    this is a very similar conversation that my sister and i have had, many times. we are more respectful with each other in it though. we're both a bit more open to each other's viewpoint even when we dont agree. but, the essence of this conversation is so close to what we've said to each other.

    i believe you've said your mom was istj in the past.

    my sis is probably delta, enfp or infj, with isfp next and i'm pretty darn sure i'm beta at this point. and you've likened me to your mom before as well.

    that's as specific as i can get.

  3. #3
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Chatbox
    TIM
    SEI, 9
    Posts
    5,268
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    i believe you've said your mom was istj in the past.
    I'm not sure of her type anymore. I think Se-valuing, but probably not Se ego.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  4. #4
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    I'm not sure of her type anymore. I think Se-valuing, but probably not Se ego.
    ok, so, you're trying to figure it out... that's the most i can give you though. hope you get more responses then.

  5. #5
    The Greeter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    602
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    the daughter sounds like you.

    this is a very similar conversation that my sister and i have had, many times. we are more respectful with each other in it though. we're both a bit more open to each other's viewpoint even when we dont agree. but, the essence of this conversation is so close to what we've said to each other.

    i believe you've said your mom was istj in the past.

    my sis is probably delta, enfp or infj, with isfp next and i'm pretty darn sure i'm beta at this point. and you've likened me to your mom before as well.

    that's as specific as i can get.
    Does your sister speak similarly to the mother or the daughter?

    I immediately thought EIE when I finished reading for the mother.
    Ceci n'est pas une eii.




  6. #6
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Greeter View Post
    Does your sister speak similarly to the mother or the daughter?

    I immediately thought EIE when I finished reading for the mother.
    daughter=my sister
    mother=me

    some of the "rude" comments like "You just have to speak with authority, and they believe pretty much everything you tell them." and "You're incredibly naive. If you want to live your life just being blown to and fro by the wind - living in some happy fairy-land - you're on the right track. You're going to die an old lady having achieved nothing." and "Well, you need to change the way you learn. Let other stupid people make the mistakes, so you don't have to."

    are all things i THINK but would NOT say to my sister that harshly. i know and love and respect her too much as an individual who does not like that kind of harshness thrown at her to speak that way to her.

    with all that being said, the mother's type is definitely mine. sis and i have shared some of these exact sentiments back and forth. we actually cherish these conversations because we love each other deeply enough to respect the other's way of seeing things whether we agree or not.

    i learned to let go of my expectations of others that way long ago and to realize that just because I HAVE a purpose to fulfill that is along the lines of what the mother is saying, not everyone else has the same purpose and i better respect that in order for others to respect MINE.

    so, if some EIEs do not realize that and accomodate accordingly in their purpose of what they're doing and being, i can see why so many others would see them as manipulative bitches. helllllooo!! my own mom is either EIE or SLE, most likely EIE now and i observed her be that way. i learned how to be a healthier version. and you bet she respects and admires me now.

    well, jem, i hope that helps you. i have personally always thought you were IEE. you and my sis are a lot alike.

  7. #7
    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Space
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    12,802
    Mentioned
    367 Post(s)
    Tagged
    9 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    and i'm pretty darn sure i'm beta at this point.
    <3
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

  8. #8
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I was thinking Ej for the mom and Ip for the daughter.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  9. #9
    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North Korea
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    8,819
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It sounds like me and my dad talking. When my dad is in a bad mood. He can be awful, but then he can be a real sweetie too. Anyway, I'm IEE and he's EIE, though that doesn't mean the people in the convo are those two types. I'd say it's a disagreement about the value of Se though so one dislikes Se and one greatly values it.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

  10. #10
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    It sounds like me and my dad talking. When my dad is in a bad mood. He can be awful, but then he can be a real sweetie too. Anyway, I'm IEE and he's EIE, though that doesn't mean the people in the convo are those two types. I'd say it's a disagreement about the value of Se though so one dislikes Se and one greatly values it.
    something i was thinking of...

    everyone is saying EIE for the mom or at least EJ and sounds like Se valuing. would the fact that i find some of her ways of saying things to be very rude and condescending, especially for the relationship with her daughter be any indicator that i do not value Fe in the way the mom does? i do value Se, but if i care more about my relationship with my sister than being rude to her, would or could i be Fi and Se valuing?

    i was just at the grocery store and saw two women who i could tell would have been the mom in this conversation, definite EIEs. that is not me. i am much more of a tomboy, jock type. we were out playing football at the park earlier and i usually am wearing my sports/workout wear.

    my own mom sounds more like the mom here in this conversation.

  11. #11
    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North Korea
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    8,819
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    something i was thinking of...

    everyone is saying EIE for the mom or at least EJ and sounds like Se valuing. would the fact that i find some of her ways of saying things to be very rude and condescending, especially for the relationship with her daughter be any indicator that i do not value Fe in the way the mom does? i do value Se, but if i care more about my relationship with my sister than being rude to her, would or could i be Fi and Se valuing?

    i was just at the grocery store and saw two women who i could tell would have been the mom in this conversation, definite EIEs. that is not me. i am much more of a tomboy, jock type. we were out playing football at the park earlier and i usually am wearing my sports/workout wear.

    my own mom sounds more like the mom here in this conversation.
    It could mean you value Fi AND Se too.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

  12. #12
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    It could mean you value Fi AND Se too.
    YES! that is what i was thinking. thanks SM.

  13. #13
    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North Korea
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    8,819
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My dad loves me and values our relationship, but I think he would say that his responsibility as my dad is to give me information I need to help me more than to keep things smooth between us.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

  14. #14
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    My dad loves me and values our relationship, but I think he would say that his responsibility as my dad is to give me information I need to help me more than to keep things smooth between us.
    i would and have given my sister the same "information" but the manner is not as rude and condescending as what this mom is saying here. my mom is the one who doesnt value keeping things smooth, as you say. to the point of the two of them not talking anymore. i value my relationship with my sis so much that i believe in being there for her, no matter what. even if i dont agree with her choices.....they are still her choices, not mine to dictate to her to do.

    you know SM i've mentioned unschooling. to me, it relates back to it. i came here with a purpose but if i shove MY purpose on others, i am doing them a disservice to live their own purpose, whatever that may be.

  15. #15
    cunnilingus epilepsy inducer
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    1,428
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My personal thoughts/beliefs on the matter fall pretty close in line with your mothers, btw.

  16. #16
    Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Beyond the blue horizon
    TIM
    SLI
    Posts
    13,088
    Mentioned
    164 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    mother=me
    I wouldn't have thought that, you don't really appear that way. But I really suck at things like judging someone's character, so I'm not surprised.


    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    well, jem, i hope that helps you. i have personally always thought you were IEE. you and my sis are a lot alike.
    Yeah Jem, you even VI like an IEE.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  17. #17
    Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Beyond the blue horizon
    TIM
    SLI
    Posts
    13,088
    Mentioned
    164 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    It could mean you value Fi AND Se too.
    SEE has always been a possibility for her type, as far as I am concerned. The main problem with EIE has been the amount of value she seems to put on Fi and the (unaccepting) attitude other EIEs here have towards her.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  18. #18
    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    TIM
    ESE
    Posts
    3,535
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It sounds like the mother is def. Beta and the daughter maybe Alpha>Delta?

    I found that really enjoyable to read, yet strange. That is more like the logic that works through my head fighting with itself than any conversation I have ever experienced, although both my parents are Gamma, so there you go (ILI Dad and ESI Mum).

    It's funny, because although I agree more with the mother's sentiments in this argument, I am more likely to take something along the lines of the experimental approach taken by the daughetr in order to gain control. I find the most effective way to control a situation and gain the respect of your peers lies within subtle social manipulation (only ever for good, I'm not a vengeful person).

    It's amazing what you can achieve with patience, good observation and the subtleties of wording and body language.
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  19. #19
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    It's amazing what you can achieve with patience, good observation and the subtleties of wording and body language.
    +1
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  20. #20
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Chatbox
    TIM
    SEI, 9
    Posts
    5,268
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    everyone is saying EIE for the mom or at least EJ and sounds like Se valuing. would the fact that i find some of her ways of saying things to be very rude and condescending, especially for the relationship with her daughter be any indicator that i do not value Fe in the way the mom does? i do value Se, but if i care more about my relationship with my sister than being rude to her, would or could i be Fi and Se valuing?
    Yeah ... I think that's probably significant ... because she often says things that I can see are true on some level, but just seem really unnecessary and harsh ... and make me want to point out another perspective regardless of whether I agree or not.
    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    My dad loves me and values our relationship, but I think he would say that his responsibility as my dad is to give me information I need to help me more than to keep things smooth between us.
    Yeah - same.
    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Yeah Jem, you even VI like an IEE.
    pfft - what do you know about VI? :-p
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  21. #21
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    Yeah ... I think that's probably significant ... because she often says things that I can see are true on some level, but just seem really unnecessary and harsh ... and make me want to point out another perspective regardless of whether I agree or not.
    HA I feel the same way about my mom. I *often* (well, used to, I don't really do this anymore) point out other perspectives whether or not I agree. Come to think of this, I do this with my husband too on occasion. I wonder if it's an irrational vs. rational thing.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  22. #22
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    I wouldn't have thought that, you don't really appear that way. But I really suck at things like judging someone's character, so I'm not surprised.
    i dont appear that way because i am not mean like that about it..........

  23. #23
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    SEE has always been a possibility for her type, as far as I am concerned. The main problem with EIE has been the amount of value she seems to put on Fi and the (unaccepting) attitude other EIEs here have towards her.
    +1

  24. #24
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    HA I feel the same way about my mom. I *often* (well, used to, I don't really do this anymore) point out other perspectives whether or not I agree. Come to think of this, I do this with my husband too on occasion. I wonder if it's an irrational vs. rational thing.
    but if someone talked to me that way, i'd react the same as you and jem. LOL!!!

  25. #25
    Trevor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,860
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Jem, thanks for posting this conversation. It's great. ...I vote for daughter.

  26. #26
    dbmmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,831
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Jem, thanks for posting this conversation. It's great. ...I vote for daughter.
    vote? it was not a competition. that feels gross to me.

    im very competitive, with physical things, but not in relationships.

  27. #27
    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Kansas
    TIM
    Introvert sp/sx
    Posts
    7,739
    Mentioned
    30 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think in that kind of conversation (if I were in the daughter's place) my end would be full of . It would not go well.
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

  28. #28
    JRiddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Indian Territory
    TIM
    Ne-ENTp 7w8 sx/so
    Posts
    838
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Daughter is a 9, mother is a cp6

    JRiddy
    —————King of Socionics—————

    Ne-ENTp 7w8 sx/so

  29. #29
    Joy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    TIM
    SEE-Se
    Posts
    24,501
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The mom just sounds neurotic. I think someone from any quadra could adopt that sort of "survival of the fittest" mentality. Perhaps the focus is on Se, but that doesn't mean Se is valued. The focus on accomplishment could be related to Se or rationality, but it doesn't have to be.

    This is just someone who feels she's been bullied and fears that if she is not tough like she's described, she'll be taken advantage of. She doesn't think of people very highly, herself being no exception. That's why she's decided to measure worth by accomplishment. Her daughter frustrates her because she upsets her world view.

    It's amazing that her daughter is so kind and wise, having been raised by such an unhealthy person.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

  30. #30
    Joy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    TIM
    SEE-Se
    Posts
    24,501
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    It's funny, because although I agree more with the mother's sentiments in this argument, I am more likely to take something along the lines of the experimental approach taken by the daughetr in order to gain control. I find the most effective way to control a situation and gain the respect of your peers lies within subtle social manipulation (only ever for good, I'm not a vengeful person).
    You'd lie about not needing to control others in order to gain control?
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

  31. #31
    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    TIM
    ESE
    Posts
    3,535
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    You'd lie about not needing to control others in order to gain control?
    Actually...yeah, pretty much.
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  32. #32
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    It's amazing that her daughter is so kind and wise, having been raised by such an unhealthy person.
    I'm always amazed at how kids are their own person. not to say that parents don't influence, certainly they do but it always boggles my mind how much they're also just really themselves.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  33. #33
    Trevor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,860
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    vote? it was not a competition. that feels gross to me.
    Of course it was not a competition but I agree more with daughter than with mother. Therefore I vote for her.

  34. #34
    Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Beyond the blue horizon
    TIM
    SLI
    Posts
    13,088
    Mentioned
    164 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Of course it was not a competition but I agree more with daughter than with mother. Therefore I vote for her.
    I'm afraid that phrase has a different meaning in English.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  35. #35
    Trevor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,860
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    The mom just sounds neurotic.
    That's it. Toward some people you just have to adopt that kind of attitude. But if that is your general attitude toward people it means that your faith in humanity is on very low level.

  36. #36
    Trevor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,860
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    I'm afraid that phrase has a different meaning in English.
    Gotcha.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •