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Thread: Deltas on this forum vs. hanging out in real life

  1. #1
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    Default Deltas on this forum vs. hanging out in real life

    Either that, or I'm not Delta either....

    I don't know if it's bc of mistypings or because Deltas just don't come across well in type [myself included, I'm sure], but... yeah. Sometimes I read something here and think, WTF? I would not get along w this person irl at all! Luckily, I hang out with a fair few Deltas in real life who are genuinely kick-ass, so I dismiss the forum mis-matches as flukes and/or the results of people mistyping themselves.

    Of course, I'm fully aware of the great possibility that it is in fact I who am mistyped, but I don't think so at this point.

    What are your thoughts??

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    Deltas appear to require a more intimate understanding of the person for their posts to really make sense an understand where they are coming from.

    I have moments where I say things that are strange and out of line. Some other people here are very "normal", some a very much related to a certain kind of upbringing. Deltas can keep much of "themselves" in private.

    I'm not sure if that answers anything though.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I can't say I share your sentiments here. Although I realize this is an imperfect medium and there are mistypings, overall I tend to relate and agree with Deltas here over any other quadra members. I don't know if this may have anything to do with me looking at the big picture versus maybe you focusing on individual occurrences or people, while failing to see the overall impression and therefore concluding that because you don't relate to a couple of the deltas here, that means you don't relate to the general Delta vibe.

    This is how I understood your question/comment anyway. It's possible that I've misinterpreted you. Also, keep in mind that IRL the people that you're friends with you've chosen based on more than their type. Other factors come into play. Whereas on here you're talking to a bunch of strangers that you may or may not have much in common with, regardless of type and viewing them as the representation of Delta on the forum. IRL you're not likely to be put in a room to discuss different topics with random people who you haven't already established some sort of mutual connection with.

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    I feel the same way as SongOfSappho about Deltas on the forum.
    I think non-socionic factors play a large role. I mean, these are people separated by culture, distance, age.... You barely love everyone you know irl, who is to say you'll love these people just because they're in your quadra?
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  5. #5
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    When I post here, I only reveal a tiny, if any, fraction of myself. And I don't really know other people here. I suspect I come across quite differently here than to those who really know me.

    I'm also not that concerned about revealing myself to people on internet forum anyway, it's not really the place for people to get to know each other (I feel.)

    Although I have made some friends through one on one contacts over time, and they probably see me quite differently than however I look or am perceived on forum posts.

    I'm quite sure I don't do delta justice, although I don't know if that's my concern. I'm just doing my own thing here

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Deltas appear to require a more intimate understanding of the person for their posts to really make sense an understand where they are coming from.

    I have moments where I say things that are strange and out of line. Some other people here are very "normal", some a very much related to a certain kind of upbringing. Deltas can keep much of "themselves" in private.

    I'm not sure if that answers anything though.
    I agree with this, especially the bolded part. We want/need to go deeper in order to feel like we understand or relate to someone.

    I guess Deltas are pretty individualistic to begin with, so it is unlikely that we'll relate to the group atmosphere as much. Like UDP said, we need that deeper knowledge of the person, the one-on-one thing. I feel like I'm able to do this even here to some extent (though admittedly not nearly as well as through other mediums), so when I say that I relate to the Delta vibe that means that I always look at what people have to say individually and relate to them as individuals first and foremost, but somehow I am able to connect those individual impressions into "what it's like to be Delta." So when I say I relate to Delta, I mean the individuals that are in Delta. Eh, I'm probably way off topic here, just thought I'd share.
    Last edited by Sirena; 11-18-2008 at 04:12 PM.

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    The forum may not do our quadra justice... but who gives a fuck, yah? We still like each other.

    Besides, we tend to be individualists anyways... so the collective tends to not hold much sway. Well, at least not to me.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Deltas appear to require a more intimate understanding of the person for their posts to really make sense an understand where they are coming from.
    I have moments where I say things that are strange and out of line. Some other people here are very "normal", some a very much related to a certain kind of upbringing. Deltas can keep much of "themselves" in private.

    I'm not sure if that answers anything though.
    Great point, and I think this addresses my question/quandary/whatever it was. And because that is almost inevitably missing in the context of an internet forum, it contributes to the sense of... unnaturalness... that's been bothering me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena View Post
    I can't say I share your sentiments here. Although I realize this is an imperfect medium and there are mistypings, overall I tend to relate and agree with Deltas here over any other quadra members.
    On the whole, I relate/agree w Deltas here more than any others as well; I'm sorry if my original post made it sound like that wasn't the case [Ah the joys of typed communication!]. Reading Jessica's "jumping ship" thread and discussing the issues behind that is what prompted me to ask this question, because prior to her writing that I thought I was the only one feeling that way; after she said a lot of the same things, I grew curious to see what others thought....

    I don't know if this may have anything to do with me looking at the big picture versus maybe you focusing on individual occurrences or people, while failing to see the overall impression and therefore concluding that because you don't relate to a couple of the deltas here, that means you don't relate to the general Delta vibe.
    I hadn't actually concluded that; I am still pretty certain of my Delta-ness [and more particularly, my SLI-ness], but I wrote that to head off possible responses of, "Well then you must not be a Delta!" the likes of which I've seen thrown at others around here. And also, to try and keep an open mind in case anyone did have other quadra/type suggestions.

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    Perhaps because of the inherent individuality, there won't be much of a delta consensus - at least in some terms.

    You've got the very serious people. There are those who are more lighthearted. The people interested in philosophy or thoughts or spirituality. The people who are older and married and just come here in little bits. You've got the party people, the looser, more chill people. And many different takes on type.

    And maybe because of all of these variations it's harder to tell what "delta" is, on a superficial level. Beta = "loud", gamma = strange distance/money thing, alpha = happy/easygoing. Delta? Maybe it's not that easy to rattle off a slogan.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    The forum may not do our quadra justice... but who gives a fuck, yah? We still like each other.

    Besides, we tend to be individualists anyways... so the collective tends to not hold much sway. Well, at least not to me.
    +1

    I'm not entirely sure I'm delta, but I like a lot of people here and there and a theory or a forum about a theory of how we all get along can more or less suck it compared to what actually goes on in the world. I wouldn't stress about it, sappho.
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    You mean Deltas aren't all sweet, kind, stupid people with no backbones who sit in a circle singing Kumbya together all the time? Who would have thought.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    I would say the most important thing is to determine your main porpoise in life.

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    I am getting a little annoyed by the ambiguity. What exactly about Delta or Delta members are its supposed members getting frustrated about?
    Ceci n'est pas une eii.




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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Either that, or I'm not Delta either....

    I don't know if it's bc of mistypings or because Deltas just don't come across well in type [myself included, I'm sure], but... yeah. Sometimes I read something here and think, WTF? I would not get along w this person irl at all! Luckily, I hang out with a fair few Deltas in real life who are genuinely kick-ass, so I dismiss the forum mis-matches as flukes and/or the results of people mistyping themselves.

    Of course, I'm fully aware of the great possibility that it is in fact I who am mistyped, but I don't think so at this point.

    What are your thoughts??
    I think you're aware I feel the same way. I think either I am mistyped, others are mistyped or we're all coming across as different types online as I can't identify with most of the deltas outside of the ISTP's. Frankly, it's hard for me to feel the desire to even come into Delta anymore. Some things, as you said, i'm just left with a WTF feeling...like if some people are honestly like this in real life, i'd probobly run the other way. I don't mean this to offend anyone, these are just my personal thoughts and I had to get them out because it's very confusing for me. I am still very open to being ISTP--and in all honesty I still think that is my type but yeah...it's just all confusing. There are people i do enjoy and do identify with, but overall, i don't think I'll be hanging around this quadra much anymore for said reasons as I don't feel i have anything in common with most of the people here. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to walk on eggshells and that's how Im feeling whenever i come in here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Greeter View Post
    I am getting a little annoyed by the ambiguity. What exactly about Delta or Delta members are its supposed members getting frustrated about?

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    You mean Deltas aren't all sweet, kind, stupid people with no backbones who sit in a circle singing Kumbya together all the time? Who would have thought.
    That stereotype.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    You mean Deltas aren't all sweet, kind, stupid people with no backbones who sit in a circle singing Kumbya together all the time? Who would have thought.
    Good lord, I hope not!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    You mean Deltas aren't all sweet, kind, stupid people with no backbones who sit in a circle singing Kumbya together all the time? Who would have thought.
    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard
    That stereotype.
    Thanks.

    But really, are you kidding me? Is it not obvious that we are not? Yes, other quadra may have this perception of us at times or who completely misinterpret our actions and motives but I thought, at the very least, Delta members would be secure enough to know that those are just lies.

    Blah.
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I think you're aware I feel the same way. I think either I am mistyped, others are mistyped or we're all coming across as different types online as I can't identify with most of the deltas outside of the ISTP's. Frankly, it's hard for me to feel the desire to even come into Delta anymore. Some things, as you said, i'm just left with a WTF feeling...like if some people are honestly like this in real life, i'd probobly run the other way. I don't mean this to offend anyone, these are just my personal thoughts and I had to get them out because it's very confusing for me. I am still very open to being ISTP--and in all honesty I still think that is my type but yeah...it's just all confusing. There are people i do enjoy and do identify with, but overall, i don't think I'll be hanging around this quadra much anymore for said reasons as I don't feel i have anything in common with most of the people here. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to walk on eggshells and that's how Im feeling whenever i come in here.
    Yeah, understood. I hope you can find some Deltas irl to hang out with... you never know, maybe they'll be in the Air Force, even. [I personally think ISTp's would do pretty well there, though for no real reason other than I think I would enjoy/be good at flying the planes!].

    That's why I started this thread: because I think a lot of what's frustrating about this place is the result of the aforementioned flaws of an internet forum, not Deltas themselves.

    Cheers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Greeter View Post
    Thanks.

    But really, are you kidding me? Is it not obvious that we are not? Yes, other quadra may have this perception of us at times or who completely misinterpret our actions and motives but I thought, at the very least, Delta members would be secure enough to know that those are just lies.

    Blah.
    (That's what I was pretty much just going to say myself)
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Did I miss something? I admit I don't read all the threads, but it sounds like there's been some underlying tension? IME, it takes more than just not relating to someone for an SLI's peace to be disrupted to this point and for them to feel this strong of an aversion.

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    It's okay, Sirena, I'm completely lost too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Either that, or I'm not Delta either....

    I don't know if it's bc of mistypings or because Deltas just don't come across well in type [myself included, I'm sure], but... yeah. Sometimes I read something here and think, WTF? I would not get along w this person irl at all! Luckily, I hang out with a fair few Deltas in real life who are genuinely kick-ass, so I dismiss the forum mis-matches as flukes and/or the results of people mistyping themselves.

    Of course, I'm fully aware of the great possibility that it is in fact I who am mistyped, but I don't think so at this point.

    What are your thoughts??
    Most people on this forum belong in institutions with locks on the outside of the front door... Regardless of quadra, there are only a few who seem to be sensible, intelligent, and chill, (the OP among them--hi songofsappho)

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    I don't know what type Jessica is - it seems like she could also be INTp. I think she's an Fe-PoLR type though personally. But I'm not the Queen of Socionics so I freely admit that's just my opinion.

    Overall, I would say that people should not base their type on how they respond to people in this forum. Not just Delta - the whole forum. I bet if there were some way to KNOW what type every person is, we'd be stunned by what percentage of people are mistyped. So if you think you respond well to people of one quadra, I don't think you can assume they're all really of that quadra. And if you think you don't respond to people of another quadra well, same thing.

    People should look at the functions and how they use them. I know some people prefer looking at type descriptions, and those are useful as well, but they're really just descriptions of how people might very well use the functions and different people of the same type might use them a little differently so type descriptions aren't as reliable IMO.
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  24. #24
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    Yeah there is a stereotype, which probably results in mis-typings.

    But heh, here's something. Someone I know who I get on well with joined an internet forum which had it's fair share of division. I actually found myself disliking the person on line, even though it was different away from the forum. Heh, go figure what that means about inter-type relations on line, and if we all met up we'd probably have a blast.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Yeah there is a stereotype, which probably results in mis-typings.

    But heh, here's something. Someone I know who I get on well with joined an internet forum which had it's fair share of division. I actually found myself disliking the person on line, even though it was different away from the forum. Heh, go figure what that means about inter-type relations on line, and if we all met up we'd probably have a blast.
    That's another good point. We can't assume that our online relationships would be the same as IRL relationships if we met each other.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    Sirena and Tiny Dancer [and others], I don't think it's anything to worry about...

    As far as underlying tension, I can only say for myself that it isn't something that's deeply troubling me or anything; itís not a whole lot more complicated than whatís been said already.

    Most of any tension I do feel here comes from feeling like I have to watch what I say lest I accidentally be misinterpreted or hurt someone's feelings, but that is no one's fault or problem but my own by my estimation....

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Sirena and Tiny Dancer [and others], I don't think it's anything to worry about...

    As far as underlying tension, I can only say for myself that it isn't something that's deeply troubling me or anything; itís not a whole lot more complicated than whatís been said already.

    Most of any tension I do feel here comes from feeling like I have to watch what I say lest I accidentally be misinterpreted or hurt someone's feelings, but that is no one's fault or problem but my own by my estimation....
    That's common with online communication regardless of type anyway because it's hard to adequately convey tone.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    I don't know what type Jessica is - it seems like she could also be INTp. I think she's an Fe-PoLR type though personally. But I'm not the Queen of Socionics so I freely admit that's just my opinion.
    I've considered this and I think I should look into it more. Overall, I'm just burned out trying to figure it out or figure others out and i'm sick of trying to not step on any toes. I feel like a lot of the IEE's can be very defensive or misconstrue what I'm trying to say. I get a very hostile vibe from a few of them and that went against what I thought of when it came to duality. And it's no secret that Mikemex really pisses me off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JuJu View Post
    Most people on this forum belong in institutions with locks on the outside of the front door... Regardless of quadra, there are only a few who seem to be sensible, intelligent, and chill, (the OP among them--hi songofsappho)
    Haha, probably very true! And hi, JuJu

    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    Overall, I would say that people should not base their type on how they respond to people in this forum. Not just Delta - the whole forum. I bet if there were some way to KNOW what type every person is, we'd be stunned by what percentage of people are mistyped. So if you think you respond well to people of one quadra, I don't think you can assume they're all really of that quadra. And if you think you don't respond to people of another quadra well, same thing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    Yeah there is a stereotype, which probably results in mis-typings.

    But heh, here's something. Someone I know who I get on well with joined an internet forum which had it's fair share of division. I actually found myself disliking the person on line, even though it was different away from the forum. Heh, go figure what that means about inter-type relations on line, and if we all met up we'd probably have a blast.
    I agree w all of this... again, that's a lot of what I was hoping to explore in this thread: the idea that just because you're not drawn to a person or group online doesn't mean it would play out the same way in real life, especially in a place like this, where people divide themselves into groups based on "types," which are clearly different in theory but [it would seem] easily mixed up in practice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I've considered this and I think I should look into it more. Overall, I'm just burned out trying to figure it out or figure others out and i'm sick of trying to not step on any toes. I feel like a lot of the IEE's can be very defensive or misconstrue what I'm trying to say. I get a very hostile vibe from a few of them and that went against what I thought of when it came to duality. And it's no secret that Mikemex really pisses me off.
    Mikemex pisses me off too, and IMO is probably ENTp. He will disagree I suppose. But that's part of my "many people here are probably mistyped" theory.
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    Yeah, I agree. I watch what I write in professional correspondence too because you never know how it will be taken. I think that's just a problem with writing in general. It's hard for me to tell when people are joking a lot of the time...
    Last edited by tiny_dancer; 11-18-2008 at 08:01 PM. Reason: edited for clarity
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    Didn't he have a bunch of posts about how Fi isn't really Fi, it's just "a different kind of Ti" or something? That's how people mistype themselves. They like the sound of a type and then redefine everything to make them fit it. *cough* Phaedrus *cough*

    But there's no point in arguing with him because his arguments are Ti fests and I will fail.
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    I should say though that an INTp and an ENTp could potentially have trouble too, so the fact that Jessica doesn't like Mikemex doesn't mean she's ISTp.
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    I dunno - sometimes I've wanted to whack my dual. My ex comes to mind...lol but that was really more of a maturity related thing than the fact that he was SLI. Life situation, upbringing, maturity level, and other things can definitely affect how well you get along.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    I dunno - sometimes I've wanted to whack my dual. My ex comes to mind...lol but that was really more of a maturity related thing than the fact that he was SLI. Life situation, upbringing, maturity level, and other things can definitely affect how well you get along.
    YES.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    I dunno - sometimes I've wanted to whack my dual. My ex comes to mind...lol but that was really more of a maturity related thing than the fact that he was SLI. Life situation, upbringing, maturity level, and other things can definitely affect how well you get along.
    Yep. Not all duality combos are going to get along fantastically well. It means you understand each other and communicate well. But it could mean you understand the other person sucks and are easily able to communicate that to them.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    you understand the other person sucks and are easily able to communicate that to them.
    Indeed.
    IEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I've considered this and I think I should look into it more. Overall, I'm just burned out trying to figure it out or figure others out and i'm sick of trying to not step on any toes. I feel like a lot of the IEE's can be very defensive or misconstrue what I'm trying to say. I get a very hostile vibe from a few of them and that went against what I thought of when it came to duality. And it's no secret that Mikemex really pisses me off.
    Ahh I knew there must be something like this going on. I understand yours and songofsappho's frustration better now that you've explained that the issue is with people misinterpreting what you say and taking offense. I find that this is a worry for most SLIs, fwiw, due to their awareness of their Fe PoLR and the fact that they are generally nice people who truly don't mean to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. So they really need someone who is understanding and tolerant and willing to look past their faux pas figure out the motive and intention instead and by doing so helping them to correct it in a "not hit your Fe PoLR kind of way." IEEs are closest you can get to someone like that, so I do understand your frustration in feeling that this isn't happening. Just try to remember that as others have said, some people could be mistyped, not to mention that IEEs as well as any type come in all shapes and sizes and health levels/neuroses and god knows how many other issues, not related to type. We also have our faults and insecurities, etc etc.

    Having said that, my suggestion would be to just carry on as you have been. Be yourself and don't worry about making everyone happy. There are some of us out there that like and appreciate you the way you are. And if I feel that you've unintentionally said something insulting, I'll make you aware of it so you can reflect on it if you like. Well, I can only speak for myself, but this is how I operate, or at least try to as consistently as possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    Yep. Not all duality combos are going to get along fantastically well. It means you understand each other and communicate well. But it could mean you understand the other person sucks and are easily able to communicate that to them.
    hehe true

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I've considered this and I think I should look into it more. Overall, I'm just burned out trying to figure it out or figure others out and i'm sick of trying to not step on any toes. I feel like a lot of the IEE's can be very defensive or misconstrue what I'm trying to say. I get a very hostile vibe from a few of them and that went against what I thought of when it came to duality. And it's no secret that Mikemex really pisses me off.
    Mikemex seems like an okay guy to me, and it appears that he has a good understanding of what an IEE is, but that doesn't mean he is. My own gut feeling tells me he isn't.

    We have not communicated between the two of us (as far as I recall), but I read many of your posts, and you always seem to send out good vibes. Don't worry about it
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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