diana, what about
"my wife is a great cook."
"what does she make for dinner?"
"reservations."
i bought a new hood for the kitchen and the salesman was telling about how powerful the fan is. i said "it needs to be powerful for all of the food i burn."
My Mom surprised me earlier this year by telling me that I'm the only one of her four children who calms her instead of stressing her out. That was one of the most flattering things anyone has ever said to me, made all the more impressive because she was mentioning it so offhandedly that I don't even think she realized she was handing me a compliment - I think it was meant more as an indictment of my 3 siblings!
I'm not entirely sure of my Mom's type, but her history, my history and our history together are interesting circumstances that probably go way beyond sociotypes. For example, I felt horribly smothered growing up because Mom wanted to "be there" for me and I wanted to be so independent. She refused to work until her youngest was 10, and then only took a part-time job.
But later I figured out that she was guilt-ridden and duty-bound in her parenting attitude, rather than feeling like parenting was her natural role. She was the oldest of 8 children, helped to raise them, and was forced to give up far more privilege and even privacy than her brothers and sisters in order to fulfill that expected role. She always came across as ultra-competent, the stereotypical supermom who volunteers for PTA, chaperones school trips, helps with school plays and bake sales, has 3 kids simultaneously in sports AND scouts AND music lessons ... but sometimes she would break down and become furious that we didn't appreciate all her sacrifices, and threaten to run away from it all. It wasn't until my Mom was 50 that she confided in me that she realized she was heavily conditioned to feel terrible guilt if she even contemplated doing things for herself rather than for others. (I've taken an inordinate amount of illicit glee in encouraging her to be more selfish!)
I think the main reason that I don't stress my Mom out is because she and I went through me nearly dying together. My Dad looked over me while I was in the ICU, but Mom stayed with me for nearly a week in the regular area of the hospital. When I first heard that intention, I almost begged my Dad to stay instead, but I was still coming off morphine and couldn't rouse myself that much ... I was afraid she was going to be all smothering and smug that I needed her. But instead it caused her to open up to me and for the first time talk about how she saw herself when she was a young adult like me.
She actually rebelled against her family and toured the US on a Greyhound bus pass, ending up in Honolulu and making her own life there. It was fascinating to hear this person who had always insisted on being such a staunch authority figure talking about bucking her own parents' expectations and doing spontaneous and even risque things (for one thing, she traveled with a sewing machine and would make clothes according to the mode of the moment - mainly miniskirts, even though she and her companion were traveling cross-country on a bus!).
I never thought about my Mom having such a life, but that was partly because she had always insisted that parents are not supposed to be their children's friends. And ever since then, it's like Mom accepted that I was going to do my own thing, regardless of what she wanted me to do, and she better be OK with that because she already almost lost me once.
Just last week she was telling me about how she worries about my brother, who's only 2 years younger than me. I brought up the change that my accident/hospital stay made in the relations between her and me, but she replied "Oh, I saw a big change in how you treated me; I don't think I changed all that much," so I knew to drop that subject immediately. The point I was trying to make was that she ever since then treats me like an adult, but she continues to treat her other children like children - one of whom is 39 and has two children of her own, and the other two of whom are 31 and 21!
I definitely see my Mom as an irrational, and I think sensing over intuitive ... not sure about intro/extro, but more likely intro ... as for T/F - simply being my Mom tends to make her come off as more F to me, I suspect
SLIOriginally Posted by Charles Bukowski
.
My mother thinks I'm a heathen, a homosexual, and a spiteful troublemaker to boot. I'm also argumentative, possibly incestuous, gluttonous, lazy and limp-wristed.
Any nice things?
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
My mother describes me as a younger version of herself, that I'm: scholarly, hermit-like, ambitious, sluggish, idealistic, spaced-out, irritable, stubborn, clumsy, academically gifted, unconventional, meticulous, respectful, bizarre, rational, tomboyish, medieval, morbid, talented, and a fundamentally good person.
She blames herself for my being an unsociable housecat who isn't aware of anything passing in front of her eyes unless it pertains to what's going through her head at that moment. She says I'm undisciplined and under-socialized and that I act like I was raised in the woods sometimes. She thinks I'm funny in a weird, cartoonish way and that people would like me more if I showed more of my eccentricities outside of the house. According to her, I look either hostile or bewildered in front of strangers, which is why she never let me travel alone when I was younger, because she thought I was sure to get kidnapped or scammed. Also, she says I'm stubborn and proud with high morals.
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More like this please ...
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My mom's (slightly paraphrased) description of my personality:
I ask, "Mom, how would you describe my personality?"
*initial nonplussed look*
*a bit of a pause*
"A generally nice person. A bit of a worrier." (She's almost always telling me I worry too much.)
After thinking more about it for a minute, "You have lots of interests, a wide variety. And you keep busy. You like to spend time with friends. Well, some friends. They're good people."
She didn't really say much else, though she did indicate that she thought of me as a fairly normal person.
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
Troll
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
I thought about answering this thread directly, but my mom (Si-ESFj 2w1 so) doesn't really characterize people in words. Describing is just not something she does. I get the feeling that she sees me as far too spaced-out, ungrounded, and irresponsible, but those are all probably true, and I think a lot of people see that in me. She however has immense pride in me, although not for the reasons that I would want. And she kinda instinctively sees a lot of things in me that no one else sees.
JRiddy
—————King of Socionics—————
Ne-ENTp 7w8 sx/so
that's a mom for you. They're supposed to know you and whats best for you.
what is gothic lolita's type, mcnew?
and i've got to think about which one is preferable. victorian victorian or modern victorian. one is subversive and authentic, the other playful but possibly poseur
but i've got to admit that petticoats ARE rad
antisocial, smart, messy - don't care about my appearance, lazy
INTp
sx/sp
my mother once called me an SOB
Last edited by UDP; 11-10-2008 at 02:44 AM.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
She says I'm dramatic. The thing is, I was only like that as a teenager and only with her. I figured out that it was the only way to get what I wanted. Apparently I overdid it a bit though because that's still a word that she uses to describe me. She also uses the words "rebellious" and domineering to describe me on occasion.
Makes sense to me.
I hope she means asocial?
mooorrree
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
My mother considers me to be quiet, sensitive, negative and introspective, which is true for the most part. Overall, though, I don't think she understands me very well. I think most parents suffer from biases, or viewing their children as a likeness of them. As a parent myself, I've committed to viewing my children as objectively as possible, but, I know I have my biases as much as I've tried to avoid them. I usually laugh internally when my children present something that contradicts my 'vision'. It catches me by surprise sometimes, and I normally withdraw and analyze the new information and adjust my thinking.
my mum is EIE.She either bombs me with compliments thinking they might boost my self-confidence in order to get a life or picks up fights and calls me names when she sees that i don't put any effort towards it. She is a very ambitious person ,constantly seeing endless future possibilities and gets frustrated with intertia of any kind. She wants to be the best in anything she does and succeeds it. In addition ,she believes that the reason i don't try is that I compare myself to her and feel inadequate which is so *not* true.I definitely have mommy issues but it's nothing like that.
Last edited by Kalinoche buenanoche; 07-05-2010 at 10:24 AM. Reason: uhm yeah she's probably EIE
Positives:
Intelligent, loves learning
Independent, doesn't need to be with others to be happy, can easily keep self occupied
Strong sense of fairness
Comes up with good ideas
Compassionate
Reliable
Trustworthy
Logical
Good sense of humor
Stubborn (I don't think I'm that stubborn but mom thinks I am. I suppose it depends on what it is. In some situations I can be quite stubborn but there are plenty situations where its the opposite and I feel like I give in too easily)
Neat
Organized
Hardworking and can work for long hours on something and not get tired of it, especially when its of real interest and/or importance to me.
Negatives:
Too hard on myself
Worries too much
Overly sensitive
Impatient
Doesn't adapt well to change (Depends. I adapt well if I know in advance and if I'm the one initiating the change. It's true though I generally don't like surprises or sudden changes)
Obsessive (once I get into something its hard to pull me away from it!)
Doesn't always take care of myself physically like I should
NOTE: The traits in red, are largely why I've periodically considered EII as a possibility.
Last edited by The Exception; 07-02-2010 at 01:52 AM.
LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP
Grandma offered up "enchanting", however, Mum knocked that back with "But perhaps somewhat less enchanting for me. Captivating, how's that?"
"You have a very energetic mind... sometimes. Eclectic, eccentric. I could be like a film critic and say "resonates". Mercurial. Imaginative. Inattentive sometimes [Gul's note: I spilled some tea while writing this, lol]. Funny, witty, good sense of humour. (Grandma forwards "Entertaining")." - mum
"Profound thought patterns. The Hennings made eccentricity an art form, but this was the Edwardian era when eccentricity was vogue." - grandma
Last edited by male; 07-03-2010 at 12:55 AM.
I'm not quite getting the "Grandma forwards" thing.Grandma forwards "enchanting", however, Mother knocks that back with "But perhaps somewhat less enchanting for me. Captivating, how's that?"
"You have a very energetic mind... sometimes
"Profound thought patterns. The Hennings made eccentricity an art form, but this was the Edwardian era when eccentricity was vogue." - grandmalol You mean they're chain-emailing you or something?
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
I e-mailed my mom (who is an EII) and asked her. This is what she replied:
I have to say, I was not expecting that. I love my mom. :redface:
...and she's right, I am often annoyed by the physical limitations of this corporeal vessel to which I am bound. Think how much I could learn if I didn't have to keep interrupting things for sleep!
Quaero Veritas.
@ warrior: overly sensitive and compassionate don't necessarily point to EII, imo. I know two female LIIs. One is quite sensitive and often goes into seclusion for awhile when she's hurt. The other one has a tougher outer shell but I'd say she definitely feels offended more often than I do. The only way I know this is because we're good friends--nobody else would notice. They're both quite compassionate and helpful--maybe not the best with people face to face but they genuinely CARE and want to help out in whatever way they can (usually ends up being practical ways like bringing over a meal or offering up advice or doing research, which is really cool). So I dunno. Just my two cents on that.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Indeed. Note that my mom described me as "compassionate" as well. I would expect it to be a fairly common description of LIIs, at least by those who know them well (those who don't know them well may describe them as "soulless robots" instead.
Quaero Veritas.
aww (c: .. I'm glad I made this thread!
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
I liked Krig's idea of having my mom type up something. I asked her to include weaknesses, but she didn't really, LOL. My mom is IEE.
My mother's thorough and thoughtful description of me:
You sound like the nicest person ever. Please have my children.
Anyway, my lazy SEI mom wouldn't write a full description, but she did write a list:
Pros:
Keen Mind
Careful, cautious, doesn't take chances
Opinionated
Articulate
Takes responsibilities seriously
Cleanly
Kind
Tenderhearted
Thoughtful
Sharp wit
Dry sense of humor
Admits when he is wrong
Cons:
Can be hard on people
Second this. The LII's I've been close to have all been very kind and caring people. I think a lot of it comes from their Se PoLR by wanting to be considerate and inoffensive
.....
I'm not quite sure exactly how my mother would describe me and I doubt she'd be comfortable doing so (Fi PoLR) but I've heard her tell others that I'm quite, reserved, shy/sensitive, though those are more external projections than internal evaluations (again, Fi PoLR...)
EII INFj
Forum status: retired
My mother's thorough and thoughtful description of me:
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Some of you might remember my mom, incognito, an ILI. I asked her to write up a description for me and this is what she wrote:
Descriptors
Self directed
Level headed
Forward thinking
Open-minded
Leader
Influential
Intense
Very bright/Intelligent
Versatile
Optimistic/sunny
Creative
Gregarious
Debater for sport
Assertive
Bold
Messy
Procrastinator/Problems with Followthrough
Strategic/cunning
Caring
Alpha Quadrant qualities
Vero demonstrated special qualities from a young age; feedback from others revolved around her sunny disposition, being very bright and also intense. For the most part she was laid back and content as a child, although, certainly had no issues communicating her objections. She loved to talk about a lot of things. While I was concerned about timidness on her first day of nursery, this was a non-issue as she didn't even lookback to say goodbye. She walked on into the class and explored her surroundings and engaged in play with the others immediately. This first day was a good predictor of future life events. Throughout school, she was considered one of the top students, qualified for advanced learning opportunities, and she occasionally tutored, as well as participated in various leadership opportunities/roles. All was well, so long as she was not constricted to hard-nosed, conventional rules (like forced to write the letter 'O' a specific way when learning cursive writing). She would either argue or find a way to creatively slip out of following the rule if she felt strongly about it. As a young adult in University, she struggled with narrowing options for a major. She's now settled in a direction. Some big issues arising over the last few years is procrastination. Generally though, I think she works about 1/2-2/3 intellectual capacity. When interested and motivated, she is capable of stepping up to the challenge, raising the bar and blowing away her competition. I have no major negatives, although, anyone's qualities taken to the extreme can be considered a negative. Vero is no different. She can be strategically creative/deceptively cunning, and/or, may hold back on something painful. While on the surface, relations are pleasant and innocuous, she may be a step or two ahead with the knowledge of some news that may pull the rug from under you in the future. I've been blind-sided once or twice. Overall, I'm immensely proud of her, and find it an absolute joy to have a daughter who is bright, assertive, level headed and open-minded
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
My mum - "You've got everything going for you, but you're throwing it all away." lol
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
Me- Mommy, please describe me, how you seem me again.
Mom- I did this a few years ago.
Me- I know, I want to see if anything's changed.
Mom- The same, honey. You haven't changed at all.
You are very empathetic, kind hearted, and attentive to people, animals, and the environment. Conscientious. You were always very sensitive to the pain of other people and animals. I remember how gently you would handle even worms in the yard and when most little girls were talking about dresses, you were building homes for some creature or another and rescuing birds. You have to have someone keep on top of your chores because you get too tired, mentally exhausted, that's your only negative side. You always wanted to help in some way or another.
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Hate to burst your bubble but the bolded stuff can also be cons.
LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP
You're just jealous that I am so sexy.
Ha, I asked my mom to type something up too. I wonder if throwing a bunch of traits together like that is type related?
Here goes:
Kind, thoughtful, charismatic, entertaining, creative, peace maker, deep
thinker, imaginative, great sense of humor, introspective, sympathetic,
problem solver, dependable, great son, brother and friend!!
Moonlight will fall
Winter will end
Harvest will come
Your heart will mend
She seems to think that I'm strong and capable now thanks to her own great genetics, but it wasn't always (actually still isn't usually probably) positive. Traumatic to think about.
[Today 07:57 AM] Raver: Life is a ride that lasts very long, but still a ride. It is a dream that we have yet to awaken from.
It's hard to find a love through every shade of grey.
She sympathizes a lot with my relationship to the world around me. We both hate having to give feedback or some opinionated emotional response in conversations and just generally dislike being forced to offer input into things we really just feel neutral towards. But she can be pushy and stuff; she wants me to be more organized and proactive in my endeavors. She's always criticizing that side of my personality, but she 100% understands everything else. She says I can come off as really cold and uncaring sometimes, but still sees me as a sensitive, creative type.
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