Typing some people i know
Hi,
i saw this section and i couldn't help it ; would you give me your opinion on my family members types (including me) ? i'm new to socionics but it has grown on me very quickly. so i've read some description of the types, mostly INFP and INFJ i must admit ! but i'm very unsure of my own conclusions.
i have to excuse my english in advance, i'm not fluent with that language... hope you won't mind.
i begin with my father.
First thing i think of, is that one day, he told me my friends were ugly looking. That's how he deals with people : how are they looking, how much status do they have ? He likes being around the "right" persons. And he strongly dislikes the ones who are less clever than him (or the ones he thinks so).
I can say for sure that he is a thinking type. He is also very introverted, as he sighs heavily each time my mother invite HER friends at home (twice a year)!
he has a collection of coins. he has tons of boxes and cases all filled with his precious shiny coins. Whenever i go to Paris, he gives me a full detailed list of the ones he wants and pouts if i don't get them. This is especially boring to me because i usually forget about my plans when i am with my friends. But that's another story !
So he has his coins, which he polishes and classifies, he knows every detail of each and so on...
He is also a keen artisan : he nearly made all the wood furnitures in our home, even the doors !! He greatly enjoy the wooden fabrics.
The last thing i would add is that despite his strong mental skills, he puzzles me sometimes when i find myself explaining an abstract concept, like how an icicle can transform into steam without being liquid. I always smile when i tell this story because we argued for nearly an hour, and all he said in the end was : i will believe it the day i'll see it. (i almost died at that).
Now my mother.
She is very frailed. She use it (consciously or not) at her advantage when she deals with people. For example, i've never seen a cop giving her a penalty for misdriving whereas anyone in the same situation would end up with a penalty of 90 euros and two points. it's not that she a danger on road, actually she's a good driver. But she will make you feel so guilty that you won't be able to do her any harm.
She sees the world through... her very own glasses ! nothing's objective, even her garbage bag, which i must put in MY bin because she gave it to me. It doesn't fit the seize, of course, but she would complain from me being difficult, when she just tries to help.
Beware when she attempts to help you with concrete things !! She loses almost everything : her glasses, her keys, my father's, mine, any kind of paper... That's why my father is vital, as he puts everything in proper order (everything, MY stuff included).
But she is a fine psychologist. She will help you with your emotional issues if she can, if she cannot too, be prepared for phone sessions every week. But her advice is strongly colored by her own vision. For example, she fed me up with "you should be nicer to people, otherwise you will have no friends"... People's behaviour has to match her own vision.
She's not very forceful about it, instead she goes passive agressive, and gets you with time ! But she is also very tolerant at the same time. And accomodating. She adjusts to anyone. The last who's spoken is often right... Which really drives me nuts ! She doesn't stick to her beliefs, she can compromise if she feels it will avoid conflict. I guess she is reframing it in her head in order to have it nice : she did give in but it's only a small matter, overall X is a good person.
Would she be INFP like my best friend ? (plz tell me no, haaa)
And last : me.
That's when true difficulty arises as you can't see youself objectively.
At first i thought i was INFP (because i took the MBTI test). Then i thought i was more INFJ, but lately i've wondered if i'm not a disguised ISFP or even INTJ !! (sorry, it's no socionics terminology, but the Es and Is make an effect of perspective, i mix them all in every order !)
Soooo... i usually don't like to talk about myself. I can talk about things i like, things i do, things i think, but extremely rarely things i feel. I can express feelings like a good cheer or hug, but only with my trusted friends, and only if i think it will please them. I have an ENFJ friend (and i'm pretty sure of her type) who likes when i reciprocitate her demonstrative feelings, so i have trained myself with her.
Otherwise, i'm like my mother : i really enjoy helping people, i listen to their problems but ultimately try to find an efficient and concrete way to help. Yeah, i prefer concrete help, because i hate when it's all talk and no action. i definitively encourage people to stand on their own feet, even though i'm a good human handkerchief to cry on.
Concerning my mother's advice (be nicer) i really don't know where she got this from, as i'm not likely to be rude to anyone ! At worst, i'm coldly polite. At best i'm rolling on my sides with laughter. But it's true, i MIGHT appear very cold hearted at times, if something upsets me.
Also, i'm very introverted, which doesn't help mutual understanding at first ! It's really funny because i can also play the extrovert part, when i feel in particularly good mood. But it's highly unstable (my mood). I often decline invitations to partys for fear that i would suddenly go mad 10 minutes before going because i'm too afraid of the noise and people i d'ont know.
But with my most soft friends, i enjoy playing the clown just to entertain them and give variety to our gatherings.
My best friend (INFP all the way) says i have splitted personnality because of that. It's just that when you do a thing with someone, he will usually label you and frown if you make something that doesn't fit. So, instead of having to ear hurtful remarks, i solve the problem by being like they are used to (is that english ??) and suppress anything else that would disturb their thoughts.
Now, why would i be INTJ ?? i've read this theory that says if i am INFx, i have trouble with my T. My T is very fine, thank you. I have no problem analysing, abstracting, reasoning, speculating about pure objects of the mind, with no feelings involved. But ok, i don't do it as a leisure activity, except for metaphysical/philosophical concepts. And i'm tired if i do it for a (very) long time, that's true, because after, i can't actually see well, my vision is somewhat fogged ! Nevertheless, i'm not boasting, but i'm at ease with most thinking processes, as long as it doesn't go into fastidious details like *ahem* numbers.
Now for Ni/Ne, i don't know. I'm prone to dislike it when my infp friend tells me he has some kind of inner revelation and starts to hug the nearest tree... but maybe it's just because it bores me seing him like that ! He explained me why, of course, and i perfectly understand his point of view but hum... i also feel a connection to nature, but don't have the need to run into every bush... it stays inside me, no need to look that foolish ?!
And for Se/Si, i'm lost ! it's the great "flou artistique" as we say in french, it's all and nothing, i can't tell. It's the most boring, challenging thing for me : deal with concrete things. My professionnal environnement requires much tidying and method. I have a strong professionnal conscience, so it's all neat, clear and organized. But at home... it's apocalypse. I tend to avoid filling forms for months, until i get a recall from the taxes. i get out of my clothes and throw them in a corner until i have no socks left then wash everything in one time. It's a disaster, as my father says when he sees it. Even when i think it's in proper order, he points out that 3 books on the floor... gaaaah...
But i'm glad when everything's clean (when i go to my parents home hehe), it's comforting to me, i feel clean too. Not that i have no hygiena, not at all, but the surfaces look smooth, there are no things everywhere, it looks healthy.
Same thing goes for nature, i hate artificial fabrics, scents or tastes, smoke in the city, or noise from the crowd. i gladly walk alone in fields or woods, especially when there is some brume (fog ?).
I could go on for days on this, so better stop here. Thank you for reading !! i would greatly like to have your opinion on this.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by jxrtes
i have to play extravert so much that it may be a part of me now ! i have indentified what works on people, and i try to mimic that the best i can. Otherwise they tend to be wary around me, as if i was too weird to be true. They just can't figure out what i'm thinking or feeling, that confuses them A LOT ! I've made an incredible number of "ennemies" just by sitting and saying nothing...
I just happened to be sitting at the computer when you posted, and when I read the description, SEI jumped out at me. My SEI friend is married to an EII btw, so they do tend to get along well.
