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Thread: Typing my family

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    Default Typing some people i know

    Hi,

    i saw this section and i couldn't help it ; would you give me your opinion on my family members types (including me) ? i'm new to socionics but it has grown on me very quickly. so i've read some description of the types, mostly INFP and INFJ i must admit ! but i'm very unsure of my own conclusions.
    i have to excuse my english in advance, i'm not fluent with that language... hope you won't mind.

    i begin with my father.
    First thing i think of, is that one day, he told me my friends were ugly looking. That's how he deals with people : how are they looking, how much status do they have ? He likes being around the "right" persons. And he strongly dislikes the ones who are less clever than him (or the ones he thinks so).
    I can say for sure that he is a thinking type. He is also very introverted, as he sighs heavily each time my mother invite HER friends at home (twice a year)!
    he has a collection of coins. he has tons of boxes and cases all filled with his precious shiny coins. Whenever i go to Paris, he gives me a full detailed list of the ones he wants and pouts if i don't get them. This is especially boring to me because i usually forget about my plans when i am with my friends. But that's another story !
    So he has his coins, which he polishes and classifies, he knows every detail of each and so on...
    He is also a keen artisan : he nearly made all the wood furnitures in our home, even the doors !! He greatly enjoy the wooden fabrics.
    The last thing i would add is that despite his strong mental skills, he puzzles me sometimes when i find myself explaining an abstract concept, like how an icicle can transform into steam without being liquid. I always smile when i tell this story because we argued for nearly an hour, and all he said in the end was : i will believe it the day i'll see it. (i almost died at that).


    Now my mother.
    She is very frailed. She use it (consciously or not) at her advantage when she deals with people. For example, i've never seen a cop giving her a penalty for misdriving whereas anyone in the same situation would end up with a penalty of 90 euros and two points. it's not that she a danger on road, actually she's a good driver. But she will make you feel so guilty that you won't be able to do her any harm.
    She sees the world through... her very own glasses ! nothing's objective, even her garbage bag, which i must put in MY bin because she gave it to me. It doesn't fit the seize, of course, but she would complain from me being difficult, when she just tries to help.
    Beware when she attempts to help you with concrete things !! She loses almost everything : her glasses, her keys, my father's, mine, any kind of paper... That's why my father is vital, as he puts everything in proper order (everything, MY stuff included).
    But she is a fine psychologist. She will help you with your emotional issues if she can, if she cannot too, be prepared for phone sessions every week. But her advice is strongly colored by her own vision. For example, she fed me up with "you should be nicer to people, otherwise you will have no friends"... People's behaviour has to match her own vision.
    She's not very forceful about it, instead she goes passive agressive, and gets you with time ! But she is also very tolerant at the same time. And accomodating. She adjusts to anyone. The last who's spoken is often right... Which really drives me nuts ! She doesn't stick to her beliefs, she can compromise if she feels it will avoid conflict. I guess she is reframing it in her head in order to have it nice : she did give in but it's only a small matter, overall X is a good person.
    Would she be INFP like my best friend ? (plz tell me no, haaa )


    And last : me.
    That's when true difficulty arises as you can't see youself objectively.
    At first i thought i was INFP (because i took the MBTI test). Then i thought i was more INFJ, but lately i've wondered if i'm not a disguised ISFP or even INTJ !! (sorry, it's no socionics terminology, but the Es and Is make an effect of perspective, i mix them all in every order !)
    Soooo... i usually don't like to talk about myself. I can talk about things i like, things i do, things i think, but extremely rarely things i feel. I can express feelings like a good cheer or hug, but only with my trusted friends, and only if i think it will please them. I have an ENFJ friend (and i'm pretty sure of her type) who likes when i reciprocitate her demonstrative feelings, so i have trained myself with her.
    Otherwise, i'm like my mother : i really enjoy helping people, i listen to their problems but ultimately try to find an efficient and concrete way to help. Yeah, i prefer concrete help, because i hate when it's all talk and no action. i definitively encourage people to stand on their own feet, even though i'm a good human handkerchief to cry on.
    Concerning my mother's advice (be nicer) i really don't know where she got this from, as i'm not likely to be rude to anyone ! At worst, i'm coldly polite. At best i'm rolling on my sides with laughter. But it's true, i MIGHT appear very cold hearted at times, if something upsets me.

    Also, i'm very introverted, which doesn't help mutual understanding at first ! It's really funny because i can also play the extrovert part, when i feel in particularly good mood. But it's highly unstable (my mood). I often decline invitations to partys for fear that i would suddenly go mad 10 minutes before going because i'm too afraid of the noise and people i d'ont know.
    But with my most soft friends, i enjoy playing the clown just to entertain them and give variety to our gatherings.
    My best friend (INFP all the way) says i have splitted personnality because of that. It's just that when you do a thing with someone, he will usually label you and frown if you make something that doesn't fit. So, instead of having to ear hurtful remarks, i solve the problem by being like they are used to (is that english ??) and suppress anything else that would disturb their thoughts.

    Now, why would i be INTJ ?? i've read this theory that says if i am INFx, i have trouble with my T. My T is very fine, thank you. I have no problem analysing, abstracting, reasoning, speculating about pure objects of the mind, with no feelings involved. But ok, i don't do it as a leisure activity, except for metaphysical/philosophical concepts. And i'm tired if i do it for a (very) long time, that's true, because after, i can't actually see well, my vision is somewhat fogged ! Nevertheless, i'm not boasting, but i'm at ease with most thinking processes, as long as it doesn't go into fastidious details like *ahem* numbers.

    Now for Ni/Ne, i don't know. I'm prone to dislike it when my infp friend tells me he has some kind of inner revelation and starts to hug the nearest tree... but maybe it's just because it bores me seing him like that ! He explained me why, of course, and i perfectly understand his point of view but hum... i also feel a connection to nature, but don't have the need to run into every bush... it stays inside me, no need to look that foolish ?!

    And for Se/Si, i'm lost ! it's the great "flou artistique" as we say in french, it's all and nothing, i can't tell. It's the most boring, challenging thing for me : deal with concrete things. My professionnal environnement requires much tidying and method. I have a strong professionnal conscience, so it's all neat, clear and organized. But at home... it's apocalypse. I tend to avoid filling forms for months, until i get a recall from the taxes. i get out of my clothes and throw them in a corner until i have no socks left then wash everything in one time. It's a disaster, as my father says when he sees it. Even when i think it's in proper order, he points out that 3 books on the floor... gaaaah...
    But i'm glad when everything's clean (when i go to my parents home hehe), it's comforting to me, i feel clean too. Not that i have no hygiena, not at all, but the surfaces look smooth, there are no things everywhere, it looks healthy.
    Same thing goes for nature, i hate artificial fabrics, scents or tastes, smoke in the city, or noise from the crowd. i gladly walk alone in fields or woods, especially when there is some brume (fog ?).

    I could go on for days on this, so better stop here. Thank you for reading !! i would greatly like to have your opinion on this.
    Last edited by Linalee; 11-11-2008 at 11:12 PM. Reason: title doesn't fit anymore

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    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    I think for your father ISTj fits much better than ISTp.

    For your mother INFp > ENFj if she is beta NF, since judging from what you said, she's very emotionally open and appreciates your father's ability to create systematized structures.

    I think you are ENTp, or if not, then INTj, ENFp or INFj. From what you've said and how you said it, you seem both Ne valuing and a socionics extravert... (notwithstanding the fact that you behave socially introverted).

    You also seem to not appreciate your parents advice very much, which suggests a relationship of supervision or benefit.
    Yes, from the description your dad sounds ISTj and your mom maybe INFp. I can't tell about you though.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I think you are ENTp
    mmmh... i had an ENTP boyfriend, he wasn't really like me ! He was VERY clever, but he would always think an idea to extremes just for the fun of it. i don't do this, i don't see the point. he was also a kind of a bull in china shop when emotional situations required subtlety and patience *sigh*
    One day he started to physically fight with me, just to have fun of course... I was like : what the hell is that ?? but he did continue despite me protesting. I finally almost slapped him in the face and then it was his turn to wonder "What the hell is that ??" . So he started another activity with his friends and i ended up sulking all day.

    You also seem to not appreciate your parents advice very much, which suggests a relationship of supervision or benefit.
    My mother's advice is of no use for me. Worse : when i do apply it, everything turns into a big disaster !!
    My dad doesn't give me much advice (he knows better !). Most of the time he would patronize me on how to fill my forms. But every time he says something, i consider it very carefully.


    as for me, i maybe a false introvert i have to play extravert so much that it may be a part of me now ! i have indentified what works on people, and i try to mimic that the best i can. Otherwise they tend to be wary around me, as if i was too weird to be true. They just can't figure out what i'm thinking or feeling, that confuses them A LOT ! I've made an incredible number of "ennemies" just by sitting and saying nothing...

    concerning Fi/Fe, i am pretty sure of being more Fi. I don't even bother talking to unsincere people, there is no way i shall become friend with one. And i have a hard time handling strong emotional displays, especially anger. i just want to disappear !
    But as i'm not a specialist of socionics, i may be wrong on Fi/Fe, that's why i ask for advice

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    I think you're INFj!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    mdr, redbaron ! you seem quite sure ^^

    i do agree, i'm a delta, that's the quadra which make more sense to me.
    no wonder i've always felt at odds with my family if they are betas ! IEI mother, SLI father (yes i've learned to write it !) and the worst : my SLE cousin.

    What i find strange is that my best friend is infp, and one of my dearest is enfj (i don't have so many friends)

    Thanks jxrtes for your answer, i think you're right, i have a Ne ego
    I score INFJ most of the time, i've never had ENFP as a result so i guess it has to be EII.
    Anyway, the strong Ne eliminates IEI, which was my other most regular result in the tests.

    Isn't it a french "cocarde" on your avatar ?? (the translator gives me "rosette" mdr, in french rosette is a piece of cooked pork meats)

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    I think redbaron's right, you are an INFj, and I really identify with the things you write. For some reason I really like everything you wrote, maybe it's a quadra/identical thing.
    Your dad is beta ST, probably ISTj and your mom's probably INFp, I can only imagine how annoying it would be growing up with both of your parents being so uncompromisingly different from you.

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    hehe, i don't know, i've come lately to think that it might have been ultimately strenghtening. Whenever you go, you HAVE TO deal with beta people, because they ARE the group. Now, left on my own, i wouldn't have developped strategies for that...
    However, it reminds me of family gatherings that very much looked like that (see at 4:20, sorry i haven't found a shorter clip)

    http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=dOS0BQK3lSw

    i strongly suspect the hero is LII... anyway, the result is quite the same in the end, except that the topic would be of an ethical kind. I' don't know why, people would just attack me on personnal things or talk about a completly different topic in the middle, resulting me being angrier and confused.
    that's why i have wondered for one moment if i was not a LII, looks so much like me when i am upset !! i am an absolute fan of Nicholas Angel actually

    My entire family is beta i think, even in-laws... except my istp uncle. It's a sight to see : retreat, retreat !!! RETREAT ! so he manages to vanish somewhere, whereas i do my EII thing : Quick, run ! oh my, i've forgotten the keys... (and i wander under the rain for hours because there is no way of coming back)

    There are plenty of Delta stories like that i wish i could find in a movie. That's too ridiculous !

    Anyway, thanks for the support Cheesy. You know, i think i've finally met a real EII, and i have to say, it's quite relieving and fun !

    edit : ah, the link is broken ??
    http://fr.youtube.com/profile?user=D...r2&view=videos see Hot Fuzz part 7/11

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    well you can come hang out with my delta mom and alpha dad and I'll visit your house. I need some betas in my life!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Linalee View Post
    mmmh... i had an ENTP boyfriend, he wasn't really like me ! He was VERY clever, but he would always think an idea to extremes just for the fun of it. i don't do this, i don't see the point. he was also a kind of a bull in china shop when emotional situations required subtlety and patience *sigh*
    One day he started to physically fight with me, just to have fun of course... I was like : what the hell is that ?? but he did continue despite me protesting. I finally almost slapped him in the face and then it was his turn to wonder "What the hell is that ??" . So he started another activity with his friends and i ended up sulking all day.
    Maybe you'd do better with a lesbian.

    And fighting can be fun!

    My mother's advice is of no use for me. Worse : when i do apply it, everything turns into a big disaster !!
    My dad doesn't give me much advice (he knows better !). Most of the time he would patronize me on how to fill my forms. But every time he says something, i consider it very carefully.
    Then make your own decisions.

    as for me, i maybe a false introvert i have to play extravert so much that it may be a part of me now ! i have indentified what works on people, and i try to mimic that the best i can. Otherwise they tend to be wary around me, as if i was too weird to be true. They just can't figure out what i'm thinking or feeling, that confuses them A LOT ! I've made an incredible number of "ennemies" just by sitting and saying nothing...
    Make up thoughts and feelings then.

    Actually, I've had people think that I have a problem with them when I don't, and their problem is that they think that there's a problem, and so I assume they're "troubled" over nothing, and then connection just drifts apart.

    Sometimes, when I'm feeling able, I like to connect with lots of people just to make sure there's a quick and easy connection available. And if someone doesn't connect for some reason, then I can assume there's some kind of problem. Some people don't like lots of "meaningless interactions" though...

    concerning Fi/Fe, i am pretty sure of being more Fi. I don't even bother talking to unsincere people, there is no way i shall become friend with one. And i have a hard time handling strong emotional displays, especially anger. i just want to disappear !
    But as i'm not a specialist of socionics, i may be wrong on Fi/Fe, that's why i ask for advice
    Stay away from me then. I get pretty angry at times, and some people kind of disappear or avoid me when I'm "angry" or "intense".

    Thing is, with me it's best when people joke and be silly, and ease things up.

    Oh, and I've been accused of being insincere before. And that I just say what people want to hear!

    So how's about it Linalee, we can have one of those elusive conflictor relationships. You can hate me, and I can hate. And our passion can bring us together.

    And then I can leave you for your mother. She can give me lots af advice on how to create disastairs. And then I can bask in the glory of setting things right. And then you can get jealous, and I can tease you.

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    What's magnificent, is that i can't rely on my mother's advice, therefore i have learned to make my own decision very early. Ha ha !
    Anyway, she wouldn't give any advice to someone who is ill willed towards me
    My parents and I get along very well you know.

    Stay away from me then.
    i AM away.

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    (i resurrect this thread, no use to make a new one)

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    well you can come hang out with my delta mom and alpha dad and I'll visit your house. I need some betas in my life!
    If you need some nice holidays in France, why not ?

    But first you may help me typing a friend of mine.
    She's one of my 3 work mates. We have no hierarchy in my profession.

    First she is talkative at work. She smiles a lot to our "clients", puts them at ease, make small jokes.
    At the same time, she's a very private person. She won't ever disclose any personnal information, about her or someone she knows. Actually she's very reserved, even more reluctant to bond closely.

    At first, we had a hard time making contact. We barely talked to each other. She put me off with facts and figures, and she went to my male workmate to ask for advice. Apparently, she values his point of view greatly because he's the most experienced of our lot. This is a good reason, although i don't suscribe

    Then our relationship warmed, i don't know why... we talked about some of our difficult clients and i guess we found out similarities.
    She strongly dislikes conflict, perhaps more than me (!!) and she makes every effort to look composed, but she told me she were very pained by the agressiveness of some people.

    Now we know each other better, i can say she likes long walks in the woods (she bought 3 kinds of maps of the area to plan for excursion, and already has all the stuff you could dream of for walks), she likes biking too, although she's anything but robust. She has plenty of plants at home.
    She really amazed me when she got ill ; she talked about her illness in a very detailed way, what hurt, where, how... couldn't help me from thinking : waow, indeed, our bodies can feel all that ?!

    last thing i shall add is that she is very conservative concerning her family. She's close to her parents. She is single but plans everything for her future husband. She wants children and plenty of time to take care of them. She's confident her future husband will provide enough comfort for them all. She has no need for luxuries, just enough to enjoy life.

    We all have studied for many years, so i thought she would work at least a little, since our schedule is very flexible. But she'd prefer not to.
    Maybe it has no link with her type at all !
    I first thought she was the same type as me, but now, i have doubts.

    A little extra info, my other workmates are INTJ and the eldest is ESFx - ESFJ more likely, as he struggles with his Te explanations that go nowhere... Makes me laugh every time, i really like him, but i definitely miss a LSE when such occasion arises. My new workmate doesn't seem bothered though, as she asks him for advice often.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Linalee View Post
    (i resurrect this thread, no use to make a new one)



    If you need some nice holidays in France, why not ?

    But first you may help me typing a friend of mine.
    She's one of my 3 work mates. We have no hierarchy in my profession.

    First she is talkative at work. She smiles a lot to our "clients", puts them at ease, make small jokes.
    At the same time, she's a very private person. She won't ever disclose any personnal information, about her or someone she knows. Actually she's very reserved, even more reluctant to bond closely.

    At first, we had a hard time making contact. We barely talked to each other. She put me off with facts and figures, and she went to my male workmate to ask for advice. Apparently, she values his point of view greatly because he's the most experienced of our lot. This is a good reason, although i don't suscribe

    Then our relationship warmed, i don't know why... we talked about some of our difficult clients and i guess we found out similarities.
    She strongly dislikes conflict, perhaps more than me (!!) and she makes every effort to look composed, but she told me she were very pained by the agressiveness of some people.

    Now we know each other better, i can say she likes long walks in the woods (she bought 3 kinds of maps of the area to plan for excursion, and already has all the stuff you could dream of for walks), she likes biking too, although she's anything but robust. She has plenty of plants at home.
    She really amazed me when she got ill ; she talked about her illness in a very detailed way, what hurt, where, how... couldn't help me from thinking : waow, indeed, our bodies can feel all that ?!

    last thing i shall add is that she is very conservative concerning her family. She's close to her parents. She is single but plans everything for her future husband. She wants children and plenty of time to take care of them. She's confident her future husband will provide enough comfort for them all. She has no need for luxuries, just enough to enjoy life.

    We all have studied for many years, so i thought she would work at least a little, since our schedule is very flexible. But she'd prefer not to.
    Maybe it has no link with her type at all !
    I first thought she was the same type as me, but now, i have doubts.

    A little extra info, my other workmates are INTJ and the eldest is ESFx - ESFJ more likely, as he struggles with his Te explanations that go nowhere... Makes me laugh every time, i really like him, but i definitely miss a LSE when such occasion arises. My new workmate doesn't seem bothered though, as she asks him for advice often.
    she sounds ISFp to me.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Redbaron, the fastest poster of the west ! :wink:
    I'll read ISFP description then. May help me to deepen our friendship.
    It's amazing how you remind me of my IEI friend !!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Linalee View Post
    Redbaron, the fastest poster of the west ! :wink:
    I'll read ISFP description then. May help me to deepen our friendship.
    It's amazing how you remind me of my IEI friend !!
    I just happened to be sitting at the computer when you posted, and when I read the description, SEI jumped out at me. My SEI friend is married to an EII btw, so they do tend to get along well.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    she sounds ISFp to me.
    yea. sounds ISFp to me too.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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