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Thread: stress?

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    I'm suffering as I type this. I think I can call this Ni(fe) stress. My head hurts so much, but not like a headache. Let me explain. Im going through stress because it seems to me that I'm forcing myself to realize that so much of what is wrong in my life right now is because of me - it is My responsibility..as opposed to it being Them who are getting it wrong. It's a traumatic thing to accept, and I've been forcefully denying it for the past few weeks..rationalizing it in bits, but not facing it. Something happened in the past few days that's forced me to look and internalize it. I am sick of the status quo. Sick. I'm sick of blaming it on other people, because it allows me to oscillate back and forth and get that rush again when I can generate controversy - relationships, work, home, a lot of things. As I try to realize this my head is contracting, especially the back part - as if my skull is pulling itself in, contracting and crushing my skull. This seems to be a way to distract itself to pain, so I can avoid feeling it. It hurt like anything, but its subsiding mostly now. Now the Ni is whirring at work. I have to reinterpret A LOT OF THINGS. And make sense of it. And possible give it some structure (Te?) and that is something I'm only beginning to do, because again that would mean taking responsibility and realizing things happen for a reason (Besides time) - and so instead of reacting to them as if they are happening to me I should choose to understand Why they happen to change the condition or pattern (ne also?) I can literally feel my consciousness slowly rearranging these past hours. I can lay down and submerge into it, or if i don't then the pain starts creeping it - perhaps to draw attention to it, so I don't suppress it. It feels as if my conciousness in my brain is sea-sick, and sloshing back and forth, and changing and moving and hurting..like birth pangs as an analogy. Has anyone ever experienced something like this?

    aside - I have not heard anyone even describe normally how they feel Ni on the inside, instead of describing what the Ni is telling them. I've read that a lot of infps aren't very conciously aware of their ni, but more on a gut/instinctive level. They can't tune in and out of it, or be aware of how it's thinking. I've learnt to do that only recently.
    Last edited by Ali; 11-01-2008 at 03:25 PM.

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    I went through something similiar a few weeks ago.

    Just allow yourself to suffer and you'll get better I promise. It's not really ALL your fault, you were just being too subjective or something most likely and then sometimes it kinda hits you, and you really begin to see you as how the world sees you- and you realize exactly what you need to do to improve your relationships to people instead of always trying to externalize your inner feelings. You're getting it, I can tell. =)

    It might be helpful for you to find a social support system of ppl that don't mind your particular strengths.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ali View Post
    Has anyone ever experienced something like this?
    Here is a quote from my Master:

    As you identify less and less with the "me," you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last! You no longer feel the need or the compulsion to explain things anymore. It's all right. What is there to be explained? And you don't feel the need or compulsion to apologize anymore. I'd much rather hear you say, "I've come awake," than hear you say, "I'm sorry." I'd much rather hear you say to me, "I've come awake since we last met; what I did to you won't happen again," than to hear you say, "I'm so sorry for what I did to you."
    I hope it helps. Understand that you are human and as such you are asked to learn from you mistakes. Mistakes help us see the Truth better and as long as we accept them, they are our allies. When we reject them they turn to enemy, and a fierce enemy they can be.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

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    Thank you the two of you. It feels very supporting to read what you've written. It makes a lot of sense.

    Thanks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sigma View Post
    Here is a quote from my Master:
    As you identify less and less with the "me," you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last! You no longer feel the need or the compulsion to explain things anymore. It's all right. What is there to be explained? And you don't feel the need or compulsion to apologize anymore. I'd much rather hear you say, "I've come awake," than hear you say, "I'm sorry." I'd much rather hear you say to me, "I've come awake since we last met; what I did to you won't happen again," than to hear you say, "I'm so sorry for what I did to you."
    Is your Master Anthony DeMello? Because that quote sounds ripped from the pages of his seminal book Awareness. (Which I love, btw and really need to read again.)

    socio: INFp - IEI
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    **********

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Twain
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    Quote Originally Posted by aka-kitsune View Post
    Is your Master Anthony DeMello? Because that quote sounds ripped from the pages of his seminal book Awareness. (Which I love, btw and really need to read again.)

    Yes, it is indeed Master de Mello.
    I need to read that book again too.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

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    do something that you enjoy

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