examples: how you have used socionics irl

[Ms. Kensington]

I think it would be useful to hear some real life examples of how socionics knowledge helped you, either in understanding others when not interacting or a more direct application in interaction with other types. irl.

[Ritella]

i no longer care when i don't get along with someone (unless the person is my dual)

[Warlord]

Ideas starting from socionics has lead to a string of thought and learning about new stuff, that have resulted in financial gain for me.

[Elro]

Thanks to Socionics, I now can make waffles!

[Simon Ssmall]

Thanks to Socionics, I now can make waffles!

Thanks to Socionics, now I can't

[redbaron]

Thanks to Socionics, I now can make waffles!

Now there's a useful skill.

[redbaron]

I guess it's kind of interesting to be able to pinpoint precisely WHY I'm not getting along with someone (or why I am). Helps me to understand that they're probably not trying to frustrate me on purpose. I'm able to give others the benefit of the doubt more easily.

[Ms. Kensington]

Ideas starting from socionics has lead to a string of thought and learning about new stuff, that have resulted in financial gain for me.

mm lollipops never tasted so sweet.

your avatar creeps me out. It's like a hobby store in the middle of the mountains where you're the only sane person for miles.

[Ms. Kensington]

i no longer care when i don't get along with someone (unless the person is my dual)

hm... you would care if its a dual because, you would supposedly not have any problems unless there was something fundamental that you disagreed with on beliefs? If so, what about having those problems with (people you care about) non-duals as well?

[Warlord]

your avatar creeps me out.

Maybe that was the intention

Or maybe I'm just trying to appear more humane by having a picture of a child as avatar, but just failing miserably.

It's like a hobby store in the middle of the mountains where you're the only sane person for miles.

lol

[Ritella]

hm... you would care if its a dual because, you would supposedly not have any problems unless there was something fundamental that you disagreed with on beliefs? If so, what about having those problems with (people you care about) non-duals as well?

Ah, no, I wasn't being really serious.
If I were to answer this question seriously: Socionics has made me more confident in my values. Before, if my mom was criticizing my lack of Se, it'd make me feel more "flawed." Basically, when people value Socionics things that I don't value or I get "misinterpreted" because they're not in my quadra, it still hurts, but I don't get as neurotically insecure about it. Before I would feel as if I had my own set of values, but I questioned whether I needed to subscribe to other people's as well. Now I feel more confident in pursuing my strengths and dropping my weaknesses, rather than burning the candle at both ends and doing everything "half-assed" in an attempt to please everyone.

[redbaron]

Ah, no, I wasn't being really serious.
If I were to answer this question seriously: Socionics has made me more confident in my values. Before, if my mom was criticizing my lack of Se, it'd make me feel more "flawed." Basically, when people value Socionics things that I don't value or I get "misinterpreted" because they're not in my quadra, it still hurts, but I don't get as neurotically insecure about it. Before I would feel as if I had my own set of values, but I questioned whether I needed to subscribe to other people's as well. Now I feel more confident in pursuing my strengths and dropping my weaknesses, rather than burning the candle at both ends and doing everything "half-assed" in an attempt to please everyone.

That's a good way of describing it. I feel that way also.

[dbmmama]

That's a good way of describing it. I feel that way also.

i do as well. but not just from socionics but many different ways of viewing people and learning about them for many years.

i use this sort of thing mostly with my most important relationships, myself, hubby, kids, sis, mom......

i've also used this kind of information in helping parents see the similarities and differences in their kids and to find their own values in life and their parenting and live by them.

[Ms. Kensington]

hm self empowerment.

maybe we dont need our duals

or maybe we do more

or maybe we dont

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I don't use it. I mean I guess I could. I know what type my family members are, and what functions they crave. So I can try to better my relationships with others by forcing myself to use functions that they like to get along better. But it takes too much effort and self-sacrifice for my tastes. And it kinda drains me. I'd much rather just be my natural self, and talk to people in my quadra.

[iAnnAu]

I use it as an excuse to go on road trips.
Meetups FTW!

... I think I *might* be able to put *some* of it into use eventually. But for now I'm content to play around on the forum and pick things up after having absorbed many, many different viewpoints.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[redbaron]

I've learned that some people don't care about what I care about. I can't make them change, and can't make what I see as important a priority to them. They have entirely different views on what is important and a worthy pursuit.

I've learned that the Ip approach to relationships (particularly Fe quadra) isn't as flakey and weird as it looks, but that there's a dynamic that they balance that is fulfilling to them. What I see as pointless games, they see as an important part of courtship and a pleasurable interaction. And it explains how attempts to draw close to Ips in the past in a romantic sense ultimately failed.

And I've learned more patience in my friendships with some people recognizing a similar kind of dynamic in platonic relationships as is present in romantic ones. But friendships are way easier. Get my emotions involved and I can turn into a crazy person if I have to deal with irrational flakiness.

And I understand why some things actually worked very well with my ILE conflictor husband, and that some things were NOT type related, and why other things were incredibly draining on both of us. Why he acted the way he did, and why he didn't like some of the things I did. And the non-type related stuff, plus the type related things made it overall a very damaging relationship for me.

And I've learned that there are some people who actually like me how I am. (Although I still get suspicious that maybe they just don't quite know me well enough or something). Some people don't get scared off, or uncomfortable, or want to change me, or find me defective in some way. And like redbaron and Ritella described, all of this has allowed me to be more accepting of myself as well, and not worry as much about so many other people's views of me.

Dropping expectations; societal, familial, or other, and realizing that none of us are the yellow pencils that we're all put under some kind of pressure to be, and accepting ourselves, allows us to develop our strengths and really go beyond expectations in our lives to something more, something better for us.

such a good post, Diana. I also get suspicious that people who think they like me don't actually know me well enough. great, great post.

[Ms. Kensington]

somemtimes im not sure if all types will be changed by knowledge (equally). I assume things much less about what will make things better when dealing with problems after socionics than before. Even things like, becoming aware of problems consciously, or of "talking out" the problem. I started this thread because Cyclops said he had used socionics knowledge several times irl. I think actual examples of how you used it could be enlightening.

in my own experience, understanding why things happen will make a huge difference. So in my case it does not matter if I actually can affect situations as they happen, as far as the return satisfaction or maintenance of my well being is concerned. However it is something I've been thinking about, whether socionics knowledge can actually affect people's behavior, or if it can only be applied to understand the events that already occurred.

I know that socionics is just another theory, but examples are always useful, to me, in understanding one more fully.

[redbaron]

Hmm, okay. well here's one. I knew this guy who I always thought was really business-like and boring. He seemed pretty caught up in his work or something and never showed much emotion. I wrote him off. Well then he and his wife tried to get us to join their tennis club (which we eventually ended up doing) and I was like why is he bothering with this? I assumed he was probably doing it just to increase his social standing at the club by bringing people in. then it dawned on me one day that he was SLE. I suddenly started piecing things together about him and over time, I saw a different side of him than I had before. I don't know if I would have been open to noticing that other side of him before I knew about socionics. The other thing is, his wife is IEI and without suspecting that, I might not have been as interested in getting to know her either as they're over 10 years older than we are. Anyway, I find myself in general more open to developing friendships with people whom I suspect have potential for a long-term friendship based on types. In other words, it kind of helps me self-select friends. It used to be all about proximity or the other person's willingness to initiate because I'm so disinclined to initiate anything. But now I feel like I can focus my efforts on those relations that are more likely to be longer lasting and fruitful and waste less time on those that really aren't going anywhere. (okay so I guess that was still pretty general. sorry.)

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Ms. Kensington]

well.. defective in socionics related things.

and i didn't post about asking more specifically for real life things in response to any one person. I value everyone in the thread actually.

i could sing an appropriate song if need be to communicate that

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I've learned that the Ip approach to relationships (particularly Fe quadra) isn't as flakey and weird as it looks, but that there's a dynamic that they balance that is fulfilling to them.

Hmm. I guess. But I don't view it as any sort of dynamic balance. Technically, that might be what is happening but I just don't pay attention to that stuff. I would say I definitely have a cartoony/idealistic version of relationships though. But people in my quadra do tend to appreciate that.

[redbaron]

well.. defective in socionics related things.

and i didn't post about asking more specifically for real life things in response to any one person. I value everyone in the thread actually.

i could sing an appropriate song if need be to communicate that

no song needed. but if you're performing, I'm listening.