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Thread: control issues

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    Joy's Avatar
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    Default control issues

    post about it here
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    control...
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I used to have very severe control problems. I no longer do.
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    There have been some areas where I've been more control dominant (which is mostly a result of having other people being very control dominant and I am finally growing out on my own more so)

    andother areas where it didn't really matter to me...
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I used to have very severe control problems. I no longer do.
    Needing control, or being controlled?

  6. #6
    Creepy-

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    My mum thinks I have control issues - I beg to differ.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Functianalyst
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I used to have very severe control problems. I no longer do.
    Needing control, or being controlled?
    *sighs* I used to be very dominating. I always had issues with avoiding being controlled, too, but I was brought up in a very strict home and married an ESTj. I maintain that it's far better to be not quite strict enough with your children than to be too strict.
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    what about control issues in the sack/bed/floor/shower/couch/car/against the wall.......


    ..........

    .....you get the idea.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  9. #9
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    i had/have control issues but only when it comes to myself i think....

    less strict > very strict--------- child raising wise


    ill probably have very unorthadox parenting techniques

  10. #10
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Quote Originally Posted by Functianalyst
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I used to have very severe control problems. I no longer do.
    Needing control, or being controlled?
    *sighs* I used to be very dominating. I always had issues with avoiding being controlled, too, but I was brought up in a very strict home and married an ESTj. I maintain that it's far better to be not quite strict enough with your children than to be too strict.
    Psych theory states the reverse of this for at least structure is preserved as a unit of society... but that's psych for ya.

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    I've had difficulties with BEING controlled when I was younger, but I've developed a more robust volitional sense since then.
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Quote Originally Posted by Functianalyst
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I used to have very severe control problems. I no longer do.
    Needing control, or being controlled?
    *sighs* I used to be very dominating. I always had issues with avoiding being controlled, too, but I was brought up in a very strict home and married an ESTj. I maintain that it's far better to be not quite strict enough with your children than to be too strict.
    Psych theory states the reverse of this for at least structure is preserved as a unit of society... but that's psych for ya.
    yeah... read my sig
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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    My biggest stress is when someone tries to control me. I can't stand it. It's why I left home for boarding school: my mother (ENTj) was excruciatingly controlling: she tried to plan out my weekends for me, told me when to do my homework, when I could watch TV, etc. It was such a big deal that we basically blew up at each other on a fairly regular basis.

    As for me, I know I have control issues when I'm problem-solving or working on a project: I feel the need to marshall/direct everyone because I like things done MY way.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    I don't worry about people contolling me, honeslty.


    No one has ever been able to do it, and no one will ever be able to do it. I've learned how to control myself, in regards to who I give my power away too.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  15. #15
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Control and manipulation are ample parts of life. Theyre going to happen. The difference is how much and what options one may have to change if need be.

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    I need to control the direction. First of all, of my life. I don't give a fuck about the details, as long as they don't fuck up the end result - which is what matters. I try to not involve people in my projects, because I know that I will end up with the urge of controlling them, and I don't want to be bothered by their bullshit.

    A lot of people I know, unfortunately, have no sense of where they are heading. However, I will never ever try to control their lives "for the better of them". Unless their path crosses mine - in which case, for that period I might try to head them towards what I perceive as the right way.

    IF I see someone that has a better sense of direction than me, I have no problem submitting to his decisions, if I have proof that he/she is competent in the given context.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Control and manipulation are ample parts of life. Theyre going to happen. The difference is how much and what options one may have to change if need be.
    Thats' like saying that "rape is part of life so suck it up", am I wrong ?
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Control and manipulation are ample parts of life. Theyre going to happen. The difference is how much and what options one may have to change if need be.
    Thats' like saying that "rape is part of life so suck it up", am I wrong ?
    I don't think so. That's very......... historianic, and hyperbolic, in my opinion, to put it like that, dioklecian.

    unless you're somehow asking to get taken against your will, which is rather unexpected.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    maybe that will answer your question of "what is love?"

    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Control and manipulation are ample parts of life. Theyre going to happen. The difference is how much and what options one may have to change if need be.
    Thats' like saying that "rape is part of life so suck it up", am I wrong ?
    I don't think so. That's very......... historianic, and hyperbolic, in my opinion, to put it like that, dioklecian.

    unless you're somehow asking to get taken against your will, which is rather unexpected.
    If you had a bitch nag your ass out of this planet you would see what I mean. Go work for an angry ISFJ or ESFP and you will scream bloody murder.
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Control and manipulation are ample parts of life. Theyre going to happen. The difference is how much and what options one may have to change if need be.
    But you are right
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    i do not like being controlled. not many people succeed, and those that do, do it through emotional channels - my weak point in this is my Fe, which is predictable for an INTj, and why i guard against it with great vigilance. i don't see why i need to be controlled; if something makes sense i would do it of my own volition.

    i do not like controlling others either. either i feel it unfair to do what i myself hate, or i don't care about them anyway. and usually i think people need to learn things on their own, the hard way, instead of me leading them by the hand and coaching them for each step.

    but my own life is well within my control, or i think it should be, and it distresses me if any part of it looks like it is beyond my control.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirana
    i do not like being controlled. not many people succeed, and those that do, do it through emotional channels - my weak point in this is my Fe, which is predictable for an INTj, and why i guard against it with great vigilance. i don't see why i need to be controlled; if something makes sense i would do it of my own volition.

    i do not like controlling others either. either i feel it unfair to do what i myself hate, or i don't care about them anyway. and usually i think people need to learn things on their own, the hard way, instead of me leading them by the hand and coaching them for each step.

    but my own life is well within my control, or i think it should be, and it distresses me if any part of it looks like it is beyond my control.
    Very much so.
    Along the way of guarding against it, learning how to act in the way I present myself here has really helped me develop a way to protect that weakness. via indpedence, I've made great progress. I'm still a little too nice in real life, I think. But then again it's better to be more neutral, and then keep the 'fire' inside....

    I think people MUST learn things on their own. That's how I do it; it's one of the best ways. At least in my experience.

    I do preach autonomy and independence to everyone who comes to me with a question or situation or problem.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  24. #24
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioklecian
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Control and manipulation are ample parts of life. Theyre going to happen. The difference is how much and what options one may have to change if need be.
    Thats' like saying that "rape is part of life so suck it up", am I wrong ?
    There is minor indirect truth witht his although you are taking this out of context especially since the factor of excess power was not taken into consideration with what I said. Stating that, however, there is something to it which is one reason why we're having such social change about power + gender and the like in such a short period of time (50 years is very short in time, relatively).

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    Yep, I've had issues with Control ever since they have moved it from the left of A to the corner of the keyboard. Fortunately, there is xmodmap...

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    lol I just made this thread because I was irritated when I was accused of having control issues when I bitched at people for changing the topic of one of my threads to something extremely annoying.
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    Quote Originally Posted by gilligan87
    My biggest stress is when someone tries to control me. I can't stand it. It's why I left home for boarding school: my mother (ENTj) was excruciatingly controlling: she tried to plan out my weekends for me, told me when to do my homework, when I could watch TV, etc. It was such a big deal that we basically blew up at each other on a fairly regular basis.
    LOL! Wait a minute Gilligan, did you make the decision to go to boarding school..... or were you put in boarding school? Secondly, if you attended boarding school, who foot the bill, you or your parent(s)? It appears that she may have needed a break, therefore chose to pay for someone else to control you.

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