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Thread: INTjs do you often feel on the verge of failure?

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    Default INTjs do you often feel on the verge of failure?

    I remember reading somewhere a couple years ago that a trait of INTj's is they always feel like they are on the verge of failure. For me this is true, being in college only magnifies this feeling ten times over. Do other INTjs feel this too?

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    Yes...
    It seems when I have a huge task to accomplish, my intuition goes into overdrive and I imagine every terrible possibility imaginable. Only by doing this can I succeed.
    It's a horrible feeling, but I don't know any other way to get things done.
    This is probably the hardest thing about being an INTj-the constant self doubt.

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    Also yes. I wish there was another way to live my life. I am stressed even when I don't have any tasks to accomplish - then I start imagining that I'm a loser who isn't doing anything useful. That's the hardest part.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Also yes. I wish there was another way to live my life. I am stressed even when I don't have any tasks to accomplish - then I start imagining that I'm a loser who isn't doing anything useful. That's the hardest part.
    Couldnt of said it better.

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    I was that way, and still get that way.

    For instance, on the night before I went away to college, I stayed up until 4 (we were going to leave at around 7), by myself, and made lists and checked everything over and over and over again to make sure I had what I needed, and didn't take what I didn't need. I had the vehicle packed before I went to bed, which was all done, obviously at night (I would have done it sooner, it would be cheaper to get the van later in the evening, so as to have it for less total time, etc). So yeah, I was definitely that way. But doing the work was relaxing. Stressful somewhat, but enjoyable.

    I did a pretty decent job. I only really forgot one thing. I guess it was "fitting", if it could be said so, for an INTj:

    fabric softener sheets for the dryer.



    Over time, I've been able to calm my anxiousness about things, and generally it takes me a lot to get upset about something. Exceptions are things like being to class on time and such, and making sure that everything i'm accountible is in order. But I have no great fear of "failure".


    Also yes. I wish there was another way to live my life. I am stressed even when I don't have any tasks to accomplish - then I start imagining that I'm a loser who isn't doing anything useful. That's the hardest part.
    I feel a whole lot better when I have something to do. Sitting around doing nothing is just uneasy for me (like the 5 hour ride to get to my university). Being online here like this helps my mind to .... vent off excess... ...... energy, I guess. But sometimes it backfires, and I start thinking even more...
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    don't focus on your failures so much, many of which are probably of a less magnitude than you think. as an intj, you are only as incompetent as you fear you are.
    lol

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    losers
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    you had a kid at 18
    lol

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    of all of the things I've ever done, I am by far the most proud of my son. if there was ever a case of a bad thing working out for the best, travis is it. go fuck yourself.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    good for you and travis
    lol

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    hijack.... hijack...

    oldforumlinkviewtopic.php?t=2584
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I don't mind at all because I can just bring up the original topic again. And I like the freedom to be able to go off topic. The only time it irritates me is when people are posting about something that is offensive in relation to the original topic of discussion.
    Well... it's not like calling INTjs losers is any way offensive. shame on you.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
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  12. #12
    Creepy-pokeball

    Default Re: INTj's, do you always feel like this too?

    Quote Originally Posted by Apex
    I remember reading somewhere a couple years ago that a trait of INTj's is they always feel like they are on the verge of failure. For me this is true, being in college only magnifies this feeling ten times over. Do other INTjs feel this too?
    That describes like +50% of the population =p

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Quote Originally Posted by Apex
    I remember reading somewhere a couple years ago that a trait of INTj's is they always feel like they are on the verge of failure. For me this is true, being in college only magnifies this feeling ten times over. Do other INTjs feel this too?

    That describes like +50% of the population =p
    I think that some p-s also have this trait, but I would suspect that is more than common among INTjs. It probably comes from the perfectionism, high self-expectations, rather good imagination, planning the future...

    I can't speak for other INTjs, but I picture my life before it happens and I must always stick to that plan. So if I imagine that I will graduate, I must pass all my exams first. If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed. If I didn't pass on that exam, that means I will fail in university and then I will never get a good job and then I will never be a scientist and then my life will be awful and I will die poor and unhappy... So suddenly it becomes extremely important for me to pass on that exam. It's totally sick, I know. And I suspect that this is the reason why depression is so common among INTjs.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    I can't speak for other INTjs, but I picture my life before it happens and I must always stick to that plan. So if I imagine that I will graduate, I must pass all my exams first. If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed. If I didn't pass on that exam, that means I will fail in university and then I will never get a good job and then I will never be a scientist and then my life will be awful and I will die poor and unhappy... So suddenly it becomes extremely important for me to pass on that exam. It's totally sick, I know. And I suspect that this is the reason why depression is so common among INTjs.
    You sound INTp.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Quote Originally Posted by Apex
    I remember reading somewhere a couple years ago that a trait of INTj's is they always feel like they are on the verge of failure. For me this is true, being in college only magnifies this feeling ten times over. Do other INTjs feel this too?

    That describes like +50% of the population =p
    I think that some p-s also have this trait, but I would suspect that is more than common among INTjs. It probably comes from the perfectionism, high self-expectations, rather good imagination, planning the future...

    I can't speak for other INTjs, but I picture my life before it happens and I must always stick to that plan. So if I imagine that I will graduate, I must pass all my exams first. If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed. If I didn't pass on that exam, that means I will fail in university and then I will never get a good job and then I will never be a scientist and then my life will be awful and I will die poor and unhappy... So suddenly it becomes extremely important for me to pass on that exam. It's totally sick, I know. And I suspect that this is the reason why depression is so common among INTjs.

    And that describes a lot of those that prescribe to the NJ ideology in general.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gilligan87
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    I can't speak for other INTjs, but I picture my life before it happens and I must always stick to that plan. So if I imagine that I will graduate, I must pass all my exams first. If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed. If I didn't pass on that exam, that means I will fail in university and then I will never get a good job and then I will never be a scientist and then my life will be awful and I will die poor and unhappy... So suddenly it becomes extremely important for me to pass on that exam. It's totally sick, I know. And I suspect that this is the reason why depression is so common among INTjs.
    You sound INTp.
    not to say that intp's don't also feel this way at times, or anyone for that matter, but it was a very good description of intj paranoia. i've been haunted by it very often of late.
    lol

  17. #17
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    can't speak for other INTjs, but I picture my life before it happens and I must always stick to that plan. So if I imagine that I will graduate, I must pass all my exams first. If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed. If I didn't pass on that exam, that means I will fail in university and then I will never get a good job and then I will never be a scientist and then my life will be awful and I will die poor and unhappy... So suddenly it becomes extremely important for me to pass on that exam. It's totally sick, I know. And I suspect that this is the reason why depression is so common among INTjs.
    You sound INTp.
    Not really-this is EXACTLY how I feel...The question arises as to whether "greatness" is really worth it.

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    Default Re: INTj's, do you always feel like this too?

    Quote Originally Posted by Apex
    I remember reading somewhere a couple years ago that a trait of INTj's is they always feel like they are on the verge of failure. For me this is true, being in college only magnifies this feeling ten times over. Do other INTjs feel this too?
    it depends on what it is. for relationship things, then yeah. for other things, provided that i'm well versed in it, then no. i usually know if something will be good or not. but if i don't totally know the outcome, then yeah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xiuxiu
    don't focus on your failures so much, many of which are probably of a less magnitude than you think. as an intj, you are only as incompetent as you fear you are.
    the thing is - people rarily understand this since they focus on the positive. you have to focus on the negative (not really negative, poor wording). you have to focus on what your weak at, so you can improve so your no longer weak at it.

    problem is, there are so many things to master and to know, that you can be weak at many things. and it just stems from there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Also yes. I wish there was another way to live my life. I am stressed even when I don't have any tasks to accomplish - then I start imagining that I'm a loser who isn't doing anything useful. That's the hardest part.
    Same here.

    Probabyl common in Tjs.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by mike_INTJ
    Quote Originally Posted by xiuxiu
    don't focus on your failures so much, many of which are probably of a less magnitude than you think. as an intj, you are only as incompetent as you fear you are.
    the thing is - people rarily understand this since they focus on the positive. you have to focus on the negative (not really negative, poor wording). you have to focus on what your weak at, so you can improve so your no longer weak at it.

    problem is, there are so many things to master and to know, that you can be weak at many things. and it just stems from there.

    ....... a lot of that is perception. I mean...... no one can realistically be "perfect" at everything.

    And....... if you develop your universal laws and such properly, things begin to overlap. But yeah, there are a lot of specifics, too.

    I'mnot saying that I don't understand you, or do not feel that way. My thoughts are, though, that if you can rise above fear, and do things because you choose to do them, then that is better, or going at a higher level.


    as per what I bolded...... I totally agree. That is it.
    I am just somewhat.... against.... doing such in negative and/or stressfull ways/means.

    I do not belive, though, this is a matter of "what is an INTj" or not. I think it is more a self cultivation thing.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Default Re: INTj's, do you always feel like this too?

    Quote Originally Posted by Apex
    I remember reading somewhere a couple years ago that a trait of INTj's is they always feel like they are on the verge of failure. For me this is true, being in college only magnifies this feeling ten times over. Do other INTjs feel this too?
    yes. professionally, i've got a handle on it. it's manageable by now. personally, though, i have always lived with the fear of loneliness, of never having a successful relationship because there actually is no one suitable to have it with. it's like everything i touch in my personal life dies, which is a terrible prophecy to make of oneself. and it makes me feel like a freak, to face up to the possibility that this is my fate. it doesn't help that all my friends are settling down and getting married, so now i have fewer and fewer people to talk to.

    i'm just not feeling so chirpy atm. depressed, actually.

  23. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by gilligan87
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    I can't speak for other INTjs, but I picture my life before it happens and I must always stick to that plan. So if I imagine that I will graduate, I must pass all my exams first. If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed. If I didn't pass on that exam, that means I will fail in university and then I will never get a good job and then I will never be a scientist and then my life will be awful and I will die poor and unhappy... So suddenly it becomes extremely important for me to pass on that exam. It's totally sick, I know. And I suspect that this is the reason why depression is so common among INTjs.
    You sound INTp.
    I thought ISTj.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed.
    That's what my mom (ISTj) is like after a setback. She thinks, like the world is completely ruined and human existence is doomed for eternity.

    When I do poorly on a test, I get depressed. I feel like I'm not good enough. I get mad if I made careles errors, which is a huge problem for me. I usually get over it in a day.

    On the contrary, I don't feel that great when I get an A on a test. I'm satisfied, usually. Sometimes I get frustrated if the A is not high enough. I wish I could be as happy with a good grade as I am sad with a bad one.
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlendieOfIndie
    Quote Originally Posted by gilligan87
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    I can't speak for other INTjs, but I picture my life before it happens and I must always stick to that plan. So if I imagine that I will graduate, I must pass all my exams first. If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed. If I didn't pass on that exam, that means I will fail in university and then I will never get a good job and then I will never be a scientist and then my life will be awful and I will die poor and unhappy... So suddenly it becomes extremely important for me to pass on that exam. It's totally sick, I know. And I suspect that this is the reason why depression is so common among INTjs.
    You sound INTp.
    I thought ISTj.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    If I should fail on a huge exam, I will feel like my whole life plan is flawed.
    That's what my mom (ISTj) is like after a setback. She thinks, like the world is completely ruined and human existence is doomed for eternity.

    When I do poorly on a test, I get depressed. I feel like I'm not good enough. I get mad if I made careles errors, which is a huge problem for me. I usually get over it in a day.

    On the contrary, I don't feel that great when I get an A on a test. I'm satisfied, usually. Sometimes I get frustrated if the A is not high enough. I wish I could be as happy with a good grade as I am sad with a bad one.
    i can kind of understand. even if you get a 100, you might have struggled with something. it should be effortless, be the first one up there, etc. or maybe the answers were too easy. it doesn't really stop. or the thrill doesn't last as long as it should.

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    i understand that too. with things i know i'm good at, my standards are high. with ethics too, my minimum standards are high compared to the general population. so even if i'm graded well, i take it as me accomplishing my very minimum, and therefore nothing to be especially proud of. in fact, if i fail to achieve what i consider to be easily achievable minimum, i fret about it and start to dissect my failure. my most treasured successes aren't that great in the eyes of many people, but to me they are because they were difficult things to me.

    however, my worst depressions don't usually concern the above things. they usually concern relationships. i already know it's not a strong area for me, so i set low expectations on myself, high degrees of tolerance and leeway etc. the depression stems from the fear and experience that seems to confirm the fear that even if i am most forgiving with myself and the other person and try hard to make things work, they still don't. thus, it's not just a fear of failure, but also a fear of never succeeding.

  26. #26

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    Tests might successfuly reveal my knowledge, but they CANNOT reveal what I am capable of... which is much more than my amount of knowledge. I am a smart person because I am capable of doing more with the knowledge I have. A bad grade on a test makes me feel like I'm uncapable (even though I just said it shouldn't). However, when I get a good grade, I still feel like I only revealed a fraction of my capability, thus I still feel relatively empty.

    Like Kirana said, relationships can hurt me way more than a bad test grade. Or maybe I should say relationships can affect me for a longer period of time (positive or negative).
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

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