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    Default trying to type an old friend that defies type stereotypes

    I recently came in contact again with an old friend, and I'm a bit perplexed about her type. I had considered her Gamma SF, but neither of those really fits. She's almost certainly Se/Ni and Te/Fi valuing. This much is apparent in her relationships with the people around her. Unfortunately, it's really difficult to tell which functions are ego and which are super id.

    As for temperaments, I'd say EJ is the least likely. Problems with the other temperaments:
    EP: Doesn't have the stereotypical EP energy expenditure habits. She especially lacks the enthusiasm, positivity, and light-heartedness of your average SEE. She doesn't smile and laugh a lot like most of the SEE's I've known do, even when she's enjoying herself. She also lacks the social prowess and confidence about relationships that SEE's typically have.

    IJ: Seems more like an irrational type than a rational type, overall. Lacks the self-discipline that IJ types usually have. Less "self-contained" in her habits of conversation. (See below.)

    IP: No real problems here, except that her demeanor is more similar to your typical xFxp type (and again, she's definitely Fi/Te valuing).
    What I mean when I say that her demeanor is more like that of an xFxp type is that while she's not particularly emotionally expressive, you pretty much always know how she's feeling. She'll come right out and say things about how she's feeling that would embarass a lot of people, and she never makes any effort to disguise her facial expression to hide what she's feeling. It seems almost involuntary. Again though, her expressiveness is not that of your typical ExFx type. She usually just has a bored expression on her face, even when she's enjoying herself. And unless she's in a really good mood, her tone is usually pretty flat. Fe/Ti types complain that she's gloomy/sullen/depressive. When people criticize her for this, she seems to feel like there's really nothing she can do about it, that they're asking something unreasonable of her.

    She's so open and sincere about what's on her mind if you tell her something that you wouldn't want other people to know, you have to make sure she knows that she's not supposed to talk about it. Otherwise she'll tell people private things about you without even considering that you might not want people (or certain people) to know about them. It really bothers her when she finds out that she's done this though. She never means to, she just doesn't think about it until after the fact. She also has poor volume regulation. She'll talk too loudly without realizing it. She hates being criticized for this, too.

    Another trait that I had attributed to xFxpishness is her tendency to adopt silly, grammatically improper, nontraditional, and even trendy sayings and mannerisms from people around her. She doesn't seem to feel silly using phrases that personally I would feel too embarrassed to say.




    Gotta go for now. More later.
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    She has a tendency to hold on to bad relationships and friendships. Her last relationship was with someone who sounds very EIE, from what she's said about him. It didn't go well. He would criticize her for being too blunt and for not contributing to the happy atmosphere. She'd complain that he was being dramatic, and they'd fight. She couldn't understand why someone would prefer to pretend not to be irritated or upset about stuff and just let it all build up and then cause a big fuss all of a sudden. She probably stayed in that relationship at least a year longer than she should have. She said that he had positive qualities about him, but when asked to to elaborate, her response was pretty much just "he gives me Fi sometimes" (though not in those words, of course).


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    What about ISTp?
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    Ne/Si is much more likely than Fe/Ti, but a Ni/Se preference is still rather apparent.
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    Fe PoLR at least seems a good bet (from what little info you've given), though I also thought ISTp was quite plausible.

    Edit: actually rereading it I'd lean Ni>Si, but again it's very little information. So I'd lean INTp>ISTp, but it really would help to know much more.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elro View Post
    Fe PoLR at least seems a good bet (from what little info you've given), though I also thought ISTp was quite plausible.

    Edit: actually rereading it I'd lean Ni>Si, but again it's very little information. So I'd lean INTp>ISTp, but it really would help to know much more.
    In a lot of ways I would tend to agree, but there's still the matter of her overall "xFxpishness". I mean, I've known ILI's who weren't "intellectual", but they wouldn't have used the kind of terminology she does sometimes. I mean, sometimes she'll say stuff like "roxors" (instead of "that rocks") if she's been haning around someone who says that. (This isn't an actual example, but I can't really think of a good one off hand and I think it gets the idea across.) Her tastes in movies and music and whatnot also somewhat mirrored those of other people she hung around with when we were teenagers, but I don't know if she still does this.
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    She tends to be more lazy and laid back than not. She procrastinates a lot on things that she needs to do, too. Her level of motivation and excitability is low, but she likes it when someone gets her to go do something with him/her. She seems to get along best with extroverts and Se ego types, from what I recall of mutual acquaintances.

    As a teenager she was a rather solitary person, feeling as though no one understood her. She had a few close friends, but for the most part she was pretty asocial. (Asocial is probably a very good term to describe her, actually, at least by this definition.) She was rather dark, too. She read more than the average teenager does these days. She always held an active interest in "intellectual" subjects and conversations, but she doesn't have an "intellectual" demeanor herself.

    I don't know her enneagram type, but she's not a 5. She's probably sp last, and based on my understanding of the enneagram, 6 seems most likely. I'm not sure about that typing though.

    When we were teenagers I hung around her house a bit. Her mom is this really nice ExFp, and I was surprised by how openly critical she was with her mom. They've always had a pretty good relationship, but if her mom was doing something unnecessary, she'd just flat out say, "Quit being stupid, Mom. You don't need to do that." Her mom didn't get offended or mad or anything, which was even more shocking to me. I was also surprised by how much freedom her mom gave her. I suppose that could be more of a reflection of my own upbringing than anything though.

    Our relationship was always sort of like we were sisters, me being the older one. (I am a year or two older than her though.) I'd give her advice on all different subjects. She's always welcomed it, too. (This is one of the reasons I've thought that Fi ego might make the most sense.)

    I'll post more as I think of other stuff.
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    I should add that of all eight of the possible ego functions, the only possibility that I don't see any problems with is Ni. (Not that she definitely is a Ni ego type. I just can't think of any reasons why it wouldn't work.)

    The only temperament that I don't see any problems with is IP, aside from the fact that her overall demeanor is more similar to your typical ethical type than your typical logical type. (Especially in how what she's feeling is always so apparent.)

    And yes, I'm absolutely certain that she's Te/Fi > Ti/Fe (based on all of her intertype relations and interactions that I've witnessed or heard about).

    Put it all together, and we've got quite the contradiction.
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    she sounds like an ILI trying to use Fe imo.
    and obviously isn't succeeding too well at it.
    probably hung out with many Fe valuing types, which might explain why she seems like an F type, and her use of Fe?
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    i think you need to post more info or something. some personal anecdote. how does she act around people she doesn't know well?
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    i think you need to post more info or something. some personal anecdote. how does she act around people she doesn't know well?
    I actually had to ask her this, lol. She and I haven't spent all that much time together around people that she didn't know well, and obviously I've never seen her in that situation without my being there.

    She said that she nervously rambles and tries to seem interesting or something like that. Tries to get people interested in conversing. If she knows at least one person well though, then she'll act more playful with that person, maybe even a bit hyper. (I have witnessed this to some extent, and I can picture her doing this in an uncomfortable sort of way.) She said she may try to banter with that person or something.

    I also asked her what type of criticism stings the most but is something that she doesn't feel like she can say anything about in her defense. She said that it bothers her the most when someone criticizes her for making a social mistake, like saying something she shouldn't have (whether related to private information or not) or being too loud or something like that.

    I will add though that I've snooped around her and her friends' myspaces, and I've talked to her through IM a bit, and I must say that her online persona is different. She's... fluffier?... and seems even more like an xFxp or possibly EP. Her style of conversation is even completely different. I wouldn't have guess IxTp as even a possible typing for her if I had only seen that. It's not that it isn't true to who she is, it just has a different tone to it. I think she's more relaxed and laid back and fun/playful (and lazy) than she seems online. Also, while the way she feels about something is always apparent, online it's not as... mellowed?... by her tone and whatnot.
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    Anyways, I keep going back to this: The way she's not at all afraid or hesitant to show how she feels about stuff just doesn't seem Fe PoLR to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Well I don't know. Possibly. My two best friends were ESI and my mother is EII so I had plenty of Fi influence. But all I know is that I behaved much like an INTp. Just really heavy on the Ni and not confident enough to use Fe very much. I had few friends but the ones I had were very close and closed off to other groups of people. We would kind of section ourselves off from the rest of the groups (whether it was at church or in school) and talk quietly amongst ourselves. I don't know. How very un-beta of me!
    I could see that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    I will add though that I've snooped around her and her friends' myspaces, and I've talked to her through IM a bit, and I must say that her online persona is different. She's... fluffier?... and seems even more like an xFxp or possibly EP. Her style of conversation is even completely different. I wouldn't have guess IxTp as even a possible typing for her if I had only seen that. It's not that it isn't true to who she is, it just has a different tone to it. I think she's more relaxed and laid back and fun/playful (and lazy) than she seems online. Also, while the way she feels about something is always apparent, online it's not as... mellowed?... by her tone and whatnot.
    Maybe the term I'm looking for here is perky?
    SEE

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