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Thread: Desire for Children

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    Default Desire for Children

    Does this have anything to do with type?

    I think I might want childeren when I am older, but its not something hugely important to me, at least not yet. However I have an ISFj friend who is the same age, but is dying for kids, and has done for as long as I can remember.

    Any comments?
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    Default Re: Desire for Children

    =)

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    Some people especially women really do dream of having children their whole lives. I am not one of them: I figured at around 32 that maybe it was time to take the challenge and selflessly sacrifice and give. It was worth it! My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.

    I think F women may be more interested in having kids. But I could be wrong.
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    I always looked forward to having children. I didn't mean to have one as soon as I did, but eh well it was meant to be. He'll be 6 on 2/14. I wanted another one quite a bit, but the older he gets the less I want another. Perhaps one day years from now I will.
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  5. #5
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    i........want to have at least one...........


    and depending on how i feel after that.........

    who knows


    but im prematurely motherly

    i shouldnt think about it at my age

  6. #6
    Creepy-

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    I want kids! (but not just yet!)

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    never
    lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by xiuxiu
    never
    good
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    Uh, sure. Might as well eventually.

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    this topic is disgusting. pedophiles.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    this topic is disgusting. pedophiles.
    oh dear...
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  12. #12
    Creepy-

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    this topic is disgusting. pedophiles.


    (hehe)

  13. #13
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    No time to draw any more? Having kids is the perfect excuse to spend more time drawing! You know, encourage any artistic talent that might be hiding in there.... and then when they're old enough to manipulate a pencil you can do drawing together! As long as you feed them and change them at appropriate times, helloooooo artsiness!

    (That's my plan, anyway )

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze
    I think F women may be more interested in having kids. But I could be wrong.
    I don't know about that. I think T women want kids too, but they don't know it, because it's subconciously.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChibiKeba
    Dunno bout that whole birthing process, that crap scares the fug outta me

    But I suppose it might be neat to see a little midget Keba running around...I'm not really into all that stuff thou but if it happens it happens. Of course me and mah hubby like..NEVER do it so it probably won't happen Masterbination ish mah friend. Plus he's a smartun and won't spooge in meh, AND I on birth control (extra protection for our annual scrogin' yo)

    In any case it doesn't matter because I'm not mentally ready yet. I have things I wanna do and if I were to have a kid I'd focus totally on them and I'd have no time to draw anymore. I wanna finish my series first and grow up somemore. I think it's probably best ta wait till yer in your 30's or so that way you've lived long enough to have done alot of the things you wanna do.
    Don't wait too long - you get tired!!
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    I only want one kid when I get older, and I want it to be a boy.

    As a parent, I'd want to se him suceed as a person, meaning that they get somewhere in life, have good friends, and are happy in general.
    , Se-sub
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  17. #17
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    Herz summarized it well enough for me. And btw that's the current sociological pattern of the average/non-exception American individual ^_^

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    I didn't particularly want kids until I met my husband. And then it was more about having a family than specifically having a kid.

    I was happy to have a girl, but you folks are aware that you don't really get a choice, right?
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    WHY do people want children? To abuse them perhaps...
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    That's the first thing that came to my mind! *boggle* "I cant wait to have a kid so I can beat the shit out of it, woot!" ....

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    The idea of having kids used to be completely repulsive to me..I never understood why anyone would want children but when you meet someone and fall in love with them, well, to me having children together is just the natural way of things and something i look forward to....but not til i'm like 55.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    That's the first thing that came to my mind! *boggle* "I cant wait to have a kid so I can beat the shit out of it, woot!" ....
    If not, why are so many people screwed up in childhood?
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

  23. #23
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    I sure hope to life that you are being humorous.

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    what about the urge for procreational intercourse? Recreational?

    (obvious turn of the thread, yeah)
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I think being a kid has made me want a kid.
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    Are you alright there, Dioklecian?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
    Are you alright there, Dioklecian?
    Hi, I am fine, thanks However I am working on a few issues and I have been under considerable stress in childhood.

    The Victim's Anger: Burnt Offerings
    by Dr. Irene

    Burnt offerings? What's that got to do with anything? Read on...
    Too often victims of abusive backgrounds are unaware of their anger, let alone their rage. They see themselves as loving people and would be shocked to hear that they are in fact very, very angry. The problem is that they are in denial of their anger.

    I know a young lady who is a sweetie. She is pretty, outgoing, chatty, personable - and codependent. Let us call her Bambi. She is involved with an egotistical and angry young man. Everyone but Bambi sees that he does not treat her well, but she adores him. She rationalizes remaining with him by constantly talking about how much better he is towards her now.

    Her mom, and favorite role model, was a Class A Victim. She never discovered her power. She got out of a bad marriage to an angry man, but stayed angry and remained stuck in victim role - constantly putting her ex-husband down. Unable to take her power and negotiate a viable co-parenting relationship with him, she focused on the wrongs he did to her and their child. She spent lots of energy convincing others of her plight and gaining their sympathy and understanding. Bambi and mom got along real well. They saw eye-to-eye and were united on how awful dad is. Granted, Dad is an angry guy and Bambi has a right to be angry with some of his behavior. But it is unfortunate how much energy she spends finding every opportunity to complain about what he does not do for her - and virtually no energy appreciating what he does do.

    Bambi has no clue she is angry. In fact, Bambi has no clue, period. Her superficial world is centered around playing up to those who can do for her, or those whom she can please. She has virtually no insight into who she is and what she is feeling. She is terrified of what lies inside and avoids spending any time there. Fifty percent of her chatty but trivial conversation is pure noise: complaint, complaint, complaint about this one and that one, with a little gossip thrown in for good measure. The other fifty percent is directed at being entertaining and getting liked. Despite the forced undertone, she is pretty enough and young enough to get away with it. For the most part, it works.

    But, she doesn't always turn on the charm. Bambi blew it big time with disrespectful and passive-aggressive angry behavior towards her step-mom. No matter what this woman did, no matter how hard she tried - and she did - Bambi found a way to ridicule her, put her down, and to call her behavior self-serving - when it was not. Bambi blew it because she rejected a stepmother who badly wanted to befriend and support her.

    Bambi blew it again with another newcomer into her family. Numerous acts of kindness were ignored or discounted. There was never a "Thank You," nor an acknowledgement. Bambi's behavior and attitude ranged from plausible sins of omission to thinly veiled contempt and disrespect. The disrespect was artfully conducted in a manner that was subtle and almost socially appropriate. Had this individual levied accusations, she would have looked petty at best. Daddy taught his daughter well.

    Bambi rationalized her "inability," (i.e., refusal) to engage with this individual by innocently proclaiming her fragility and inability to cope - one of the tricks she relied on to manipulate susceptible others. An inappropriate slap-in-the face "gift" to this individual cemented the end of any potential relationship. Once again, Bambi blew it by regarding a well-intended person who cared about her (and still does, though she won't put up with disrespect) with unfounded contempt.

    This lovely young woman is a lost soul. In using manipulative and passive-aggressive acts to garner support or alienate "enemies," she is headed down a dangerous life path: she is certain to bring her unresolved conflicts with her everywhere she goes. She is at risk of becoming the poor victim who has no choice but to accept the scraps such a position generally offers. She is unlikely to get a handle on her life and her behavior until she owns her anger and takes responsibility for her behavior.

    Bambi is the girl who burns the roast when she really didn't want to invite you to the dinner...she invited you to.

    Dear Bambi, be angry. It is OK. Your feelings are your feelings. But check yourself out. Who are you hurting when you act out? Could you be shooting yourself in the foot? Consistent with typical codependency stuff, you are angry where you shouldn't be and are not angry where you should be! You give away your personal power when you don't trust your feelings, when you manipulate people, when you make excuses for those who deserve no excuses, and when you displace your angry feelings onto those who have done nothing to hurt you.

    You say you can't deal with all this stuff? My reply is that you can't afford not to. Why choose - yes, choose - to create a painful life? Why work so hard...to get so little? You deserve so very much more...
    Well I am back. How's everyone? Don't have as much time now, but glad to see some of the old gang are still here.

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    ...............
    IEI subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae
    Herz summarized it well enough for me. And btw that's the current sociological pattern of the average/non-exception American individual ^_^
    Really? Strangely enough I always thought average American family was composed of many children. Like for example if you know those serial movies "The seventh sky" or smth like that.

  31. #31
    Creepy-pokeball

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    It's across all adult American individuals with the exception of Hispanic-American which is a slightly higher average. So some zeros and some +3's thrown in as well but the average is gaining close to one in trend due to cost and time.

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    I have heard that there is a correlation between higher level of education and lower number of children a person has. As time passes, the average level of education increases and the number of children had per person on average decreases.

    This comes from data about countries, there levels of education and birth rates, but also data on a more local scale.
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    I would like to have some.

    I know this is a completely different subject but is anyone else worried about depopulaton causing problems in the long run?

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    Edited for gayness.
    ENTp

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    No no... I meant more along the lines of what it implies in terms of interstate relations, migration patterns, and ultimately shifts in the mindset of the planet barring extreme developments in mobility or communications.

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    I want three kids. Gender doesn't matter much but I _don't_ want three boys. I have seen a family like that and it was a mess... Well I guess I should start doing something about it or it will be too late It takes a while to "produce" three...In the end I would be quite happy with only one.

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by flower
    I have heard that there is a correlation between higher level of education and lower number of children a person has. As time passes, the average level of education increases and the number of children had per person on average decreases.

    This comes from data about countries, there levels of education and birth rates, but also data on a more local scale.

    Likely.

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    I would feel fulfilled to be in a relationship with someone I can trust, then I can actually be sure that the children would be mine and not some irresponsible dumbfuck who screws my whore wife and then expects me to be raising his and her children.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rmcnew
    I would feel fulfilled to be in a relationship with someone I can trust, then I can actually be sure that the children would be mine and not some irresponsible dumbfuck who screws my whore wife and then expects me to be raising his and her children.
    Very good. So mysogenist.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    I really don't have a taste for them anymore, their meat is getting less lean every year. (Sorry, I didn't read this thread, has that joke been made yet?)

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