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Thread: being passive aggressive

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    Default being passive aggressive

    post about it here
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    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    i think it is necessary to be passive and/or passive agressive at times

    in order to maintain the peace

    in order to deal with certain people properly

    maybe it is more necessary to PRETEND to be being passive agressive.....eh? because if you doing it so as to deal with another person who is upset, then you arn't really being passive agressive, you are just letting them think you are so they don't get more aggitated so they will calm down


    pfft i dont know

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    Information about the subject can be found at PTYPES. I must be in cross type mode today, because I think that the average ENTp (with 3w4) can easily go to passive aggressive behavior, especially when under stress on taking on 9-ish tendencies.

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    I haven't been around someone very passive aggressive in a while. I wonder how I'd react nowadays...

    Recently, I was pretty good at calling people out on it, but.... that was just with one person. I don't really know......
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    oh brother

    Let's define what being passive aggressive is. It's doing something because you're upset while trying to look like you're being nice. It's getting even without being a bad guy. IMO it's always inappropiate, but difficult to avoid entirely.
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive_aggressive

    Often passive-aggressive behavior manifests itself in individuals who view themselves as "peaceful". These individuals feel that expressing their anger through passive-aggressive behavior is morally favorable to direct confrontation.
    I think this is the general core of passive-aggressive behaviour, however I think passive-aggressive behaviour is not generally favorable in our society. A certain amout of direct assertiveness is required to win intimate relationships, jobs, acknowledgement of achievements etc. Also we are are often told this via "you have to go out and get what you want" to do well in life etc, which involves a certain degree of confrontation which a passive-aggressive doesn't like doing.
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    One other thing, I think that a passive-aggressive is often thought of a someone who is aggressive but indirectly. I think this is incorrect, a passive-aggressive is characterised by a lake of aggressivness, and they will try to avoid even small confrontations.

    For example, someone who is passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they don't wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.
    Its mainly this kind of thing, a passive-aggressive may be a little afraid even to phone a good friend to say they dont want to come to a party in case it may cause offence or confrontation etc, so they find ways to get around the confrontation.
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    Passive-agressive tendencies: harmonic type. (cross-sensory/intutive)

    A non-harmonic will face their accuser directly, even if it comes to violence. Harmonics will always try to put the best face on a situation to keep their ability to relate to their surroundings intact.

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    Anyone who has a problem with me "not being harmonic" gets a punch in the face
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    Passive-agressive tendencies: harmonic type. (cross-sensory/intutive)

    A non-harmonic will face their accuser directly, even if it comes to violence. Harmonics will always try to put the best face on a situation to keep their ability to relate to their surroundings intact.

    I'm putting this in my sig. If you want to be credited for bringning it up, tcaudillg, let me know.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    Passive-agressive tendencies: harmonic type. (cross-sensory/intutive)

    A non-harmonic will face their accuser directly, even if it comes to violence. Harmonics will always try to put the best face on a situation to keep their ability to relate to their surroundings intact.

    I'm putting this in my sig. If you want to be credited for bringning it up, tcaudillg, let me know.
    Hell no. Knowledge is knowledge. Let it flow free.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    Passive-agressive tendencies: harmonic type. (cross-sensory/intutive)

    A non-harmonic will face their accuser directly, even if it comes to violence. Harmonics will always try to put the best face on a situation to keep their ability to relate to their surroundings intact.
    What about a correlation between simmetric scrotum and cross-type?
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  13. #13
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Passive-aggressive is annoying.

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    Passive-aggressive behaviour is more common to INTp's, INTj's, ISTp's ... than it is to some of the extroverted types ESTp's, ENTj's, ENFj's. I think this is probably due to lower levels of interpersonal skills and confidence in interpersonal situations that causes this. Passive-aggressive behaviour is probably also very common in shy people for the same reason.

    I used to be quite passive-aggressive, until I realised its easier and better for all involved if you confront people in a friendly manner, people almost always understand any concerns or problems etc.
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    Quote Originally Posted by flower
    I used to be quite passive-aggressive, until I realised its easier and better for all involved if you confront people in a friendly manner, people almost always understand any concerns or problems etc.


    Same here



    With exception to my .... more getting used to be confrontational about things, when I have to be. I don't let things slide anymore, when they matter to me. Which is seldom. But when it matters, it matters. And so some of my outspokeness has developed.

    How can one be bother reserved and outspoken at the same time?
    heh heh...
    seeming contradictions are not something uncommon to me.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    [quote="UDP"]
    Quote Originally Posted by flower
    How can one be bother reserved and outspoken at the same time?
    heh heh...
    seeming contradictions are not something uncommon to me.
    You can be. I am outspoken in my opinions, but very reserved about my private life.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    [quote="FDG"]
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    Quote Originally Posted by flower
    How can one be bother reserved and outspoken at the same time?
    heh heh...
    seeming contradictions are not something uncommon to me.
    You can be. I am outspoken in my opinions, but very reserved about my private life.
    Yes, I believe you.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I'm not passive aggressive but I am assertive so there is really no need for it. I get along much better by not using those tactics. Most people pick up on passive aggressiveness right off the bat and they will resent you for it.

    I actually don't feel there are situations that call for it. If someone says something innappropriate to me, I have them repeat what they just said. 9 out of 10 times they will immediately realize what an ass they were without you actually having to do anything. That's not passive, that's seeking clarification and letting the person know you are very aware of what they are saying.

    If someone is being overly aggressive to me I warn them to stop because there are consequences to their actions. If I'm really mad I'll let them know I'm just the type of person to make them face every little consequence I will do it just out of the principle of it....(well until I get bored and distracted by something fun). It takes a lot to get me that angry though. At that point, I'm prepared to sever all connections for good and its not like me to burn my bridges unless I feel its one I never want to use again. Most times I just figure they will bury themselves at some point.
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    I can say to the crosstypes who are using passive aggressiveness, yes we do notice you are doing it, and we fault you for being disingenuine.

    If you don't want us being suspicious of you, don't do it.

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