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Thread: EIEs/ENFjs how important is Se to you in long-term relationships?

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    Default EIEs/ENFjs how important is Se to you in long-term relationships?

    I have some questions for EIE's. I'll start with this one: how important is to you in long term relationships?
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    I can't answer - I'm married to an ILI.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

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    Finding all three sides of Richard Sternberg's love triangle is difficult enough. Going beyond that, especially when both partners feel all three for each other -- liking, commitment, and passion -- is a bit nitpicky I think.

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    It's really hard for me to get into a long-term relationship since I'm pretty picky already. I have created high standards that I really don't consider anyone unless he has either Ti or Se but preferably a Beta ST.
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
    formerly onetreehilluver

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    Quote Originally Posted by onetreehilluver View Post
    It's really hard for me to get into a long-term relationship since I'm pretty picky already. I have created high standards that I really don't consider anyone unless he has either Ti or Se but preferably a Beta ST.
    Same lol (generally ).

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    Now, when I say , does that also mean being tough physically? Say, I am either an type, or I do a darn good job at doing , but I am physically weak, is that the same thing as not having ?

    I was trying to impress this young EIE female, and so I go to play football with my friends, but I have this injury which inhibits me from running. I was insecure (which was I think being anti-), but I tried to joke about it.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Just get it over with and tell me that I am such a loser
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    Now, when I say , does that also mean being tough physically? Say, I am either an type, or I do a darn good job at doing , but I am physically weak, is that the same thing as not having ?
    No, it has nothing to do with being tough physically and people who emulate it only look foolish. It's a form of sensory awareness, generally.

    I was trying to impress this young EIE female, and so I go to play football with my friends, but I have this injury which inhibits me from running. I was insecure (which was I think being anti-), but I tried to joke about it.
    lol

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    yes string is right, senory adwareness stimulates EIE using their NI more and hence they aren't always so caught up using Fe and can try to express their NI a little more. Being tough and standing up for youself is a good qualites that EIE would like to see, especially in female but too much of it will proberly intimade her, thats why EIE are dual with LSI and not SLE becuase we like the person whose interesting with inner thoughts(TI) and we like to find out more about the person. we always like to have more SE withinng ourselves, but having NI as a strong function, its like hey if the person is always so agressive and confrontational then how can we ever get along with the person, But like strrng said it is not always about that, its can mean living life at the moment, not thinking just do, more liveiness which makes us feel less dead and so on....
    Last edited by 07490; 10-04-2008 at 05:02 PM. Reason: x
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    yes string is right, senory adwareness stimulates EIE using their NI more and hence they aren't always so caught up using Fe and can try to express their NI a little more. Being tough and standing up for youself is a good qualites that EIE would like to see, especially in female but too much of it will proberly intimade her, thats why EIE are dual with LSI and not SLE becuase we like the person whose interesting with inner thoughts(TI) and we like to find out more about the person. we always like to have more SE withinng ourselves, but having NI as a strong function, its like hey if the person is always so agressive and confrontational then how can we ever get along with the person, But like strrng said it is not always about that, its can mean living life at the moment, not thinking just do, more liveiness which makes us feel less dead and so on....
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    lol double post

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    Another question: Why do you folks like ILE's? or do you?
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    Another question: Why do you folks like ILE's? or do you?
    I don't tend to gravitate towards them.

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    I really enjoy being with ILE, I think out of all the TI types, (SLE,LSI,ILE,LII) they are the one who has their own idealistic way of how life should be. they are very abstract, with good verbal skills to get their ideas out, I dont see that in any of that four types mentioned above, if the ILe is not a nut-job which i think there is a chances that they are, they can really be a good complimentary to our FE, in a way very easy for me at least to talk to, and sitmiulate MY NI and get it to work. Basically they make me think, and get my doubts about things out the window.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mpiazza000 View Post
    I really enjoy being with ILE, I think out of all the TI types, (SLE,LSI,ILE,LII) they are the one who has their own idealistic way of how life should be. they are very abstract, with good verbal skills to get their ideas out, I dont see that in any of that four types mentioned above, if the ILe is not a nut-job which i think there is a chances that they are, they can really be a good complimentary to our FE, in a way very easy for me at least to talk to, and sitmiulate MY NI and get it to work. Basically they make me think, and get my doubts about things out the window.
    Is this based on any real life observations of actual ENTps, or just crappy russian descriptions?

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    MY own FUcking NI nick.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mpiazza000 View Post
    MY own FUcking NI nick.
    lol chill...it just sounded like some embellished theoretical crap from one of those russian descriptions.

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    lol I wasn't mad, I just felt like cursing atm.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mpiazza000 View Post
    lol I wasn't mad, I just felt like cursing atm.
    oh sweet

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    I know what ENFj women want:

    confidence +

    or

    being resourceful +

    which one do you prefer?
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    What's the difference? Be resourceful AND confident, mmk?

    Don't try showing off or playing up to some bullshit macho image. That's just crap and if you drop it quickly, you'll just get teased for it; if you maintain it for a long time, it's probably going to make me think less of you. Like seriously, show some confidence in yourself.

    This LII guy from earlier this year...just couldn't stop bragging about how strong he was and everytime I carried anything would try to take it off me and wouldn't shut up about that - oh, look, your bags are so light, mine are so much heavier, huh - I really wanted to slap him. Don't make what you do physically a big deal. It's not charming, it makes you look insecure and sort of retarded.

    What's much hotter than throwing around a football and roughhousing your mates is being aware of me. Give me the feeling that you know where I am in a room. Give me the feeling you're not phased in a crowd. Seem in control of yourself in your physical environment. Don't get ruffled or panicked easily just because of some hustle and bustle around you. It's not about how much you bench or how many people you can beat up.

    Resourcefulness is good. If I ask you a question, I generally do expect an answer. If you don't know, either find out, or own up. Don't bullshit me. It's not like I don't have my own brain and can't do my own research, so normally if I'm asking, it's because I'm getting an opinion, I specifically respect your thoughts or it's something I expect you to know about. So don't say something passive-aggressive like 'I don't know, it's your problem.' Make an effort and help me, dammit. Also, never promise more than you can deliver.

    As for ILEs: I'm sort of meh about them. They are the most frequently recurring type for me...generally because they're witty, fun and we laugh a lot together. They are also: clingy, seem to want me to take care of them and live in their minds as much as I do. They seem to take the initiative more and just randomly strike up conversation, but, eh, they talk too much about themselves. I prefer LSIs without question. ILEs are just...more available?

    As for impressing the young EIE you're interested in - the most impressive thing would be to not try too hard, don't talk yourself up (we can see through all the bullshit and are probably laughing at you on the inside), but be direct. Don't come on too strong, but don't bat around the bush either. Watch her signals, let her set the pace, and then um, don't back down or get disheartened too easily. Basically.

    I like people who can (and who give the impression they can) stand their ground, both intellectually and physically. I can't seem to judge the force of my movements very well - people always comment that my 'playful punches' aren't really all that playful, I will probably accidentally scratch you a few times and I will probably want to drape myself over you sometimes. So, literally, stand your ground. Don't make it seem like a few shoves from me is going to topple you. Admittedly, this is probably gender specific and I have no idea how it works when the girl is the LSI and the guy is the EIE. That's for idolatrie to figure out lol.
    Last edited by unefille; 10-05-2008 at 01:11 AM.
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    Thank you Unefille
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Glad to have helped! What can I say, it was for a good cause!
    ()
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    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    Glad to have helped! What can I say, it was for a good cause!
    You seem very static, I have never seen this quality for an ENFj.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    You seem very static, I have never seen this quality for an ENFj.
    Do you mean in the way I structure my thoughts when I'm writing? And how I break down ideas into smaller parts, like little chunks of information, instead of writing long flowing paragraphs that sort of pulsate into one sprawling mass of thoughts that is practically impossible to follow, as though you're reading a moving tide?
    ()
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    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    Do you mean in the way I structure my thoughts when I'm writing? And how I break down ideas into smaller parts, like little chunks of information, instead of writing long flowing paragraphs that sort of pulsate into one sprawling mass of thoughts that is practically impossible to follow, as thought you're reading a moving tide?
    Yes
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    Yes
    Yeah, I study Law and I teach writing skills. It's done many wonderful and bizarre things for my writing, though I have to admit most of my first drafts for academic essays read like the crazies broke out of my brain and started typing whilst hopped up on crack, because it's infinitely harder to break down complex concepts. Then I go back and Ti the essay like crazy. ka-pow!
    ()
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    Yes
    It's because I'VE TRAINED HER WELL so she knows how to Ti-up her thoughts and talk in the native language of the LSI. No interpretation required. You're welcome.
    allez cuisine!

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    Quote Originally Posted by idolatrie View Post
    It's because I'VE TRAINED HER WELL so she knows how to Ti-up her thoughts and talk in the native language of the LSI. No interpretation required. You're welcome.
    *coughs*

    Imagine me flicking my wrist and saying whatever, bitch, mmk? Coz I am.
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    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    *coughs*

    Imagine me flicking my wrist and saying whatever, bitch, mmk? Coz I am.
    See, the training is so good, bitch doesn't even know. *smirks*
    allez cuisine!

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    Quote Originally Posted by idolatrie View Post
    It's because I'VE TRAINED HER WELL so she knows how to Ti-up her thoughts and talk in the native language of the LSI. No interpretation required. You're welcome.
    YOu need to teach me how to write more TI. when I write, as I am already horrible with my writings, lacks of thoughts, too flowy, not structure is all my problems in writing.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by idolatrie View Post
    See, the training is so good, bitch doesn't even know. *smirks*
    Says the emotionally retarded being that hasn't met a feeling yet that doesn't confuse her! Oh! Emotions! How ALIEN! Whatever do I do with them?! Oh, I guess I'll just, NOT DEAL.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpiazza000 View Post
    YOu need to teach me how to write more TI. when I write, as I am already horrible with my writings, lacks of thoughts, too flowy, not structure is all my problems in writing.
    NO NO, mpiazza000 (can I call you mpizza?), don't give into her wiley ways. She really just wants the opportunity to lobotomise your brain!

    I've had to keep her away by many dastardly tricks and flips. I own a hellhound, for instance.
    ()
    3w4-1w2-5w4 sx/sp

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    idolatrie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpiazza000 View Post
    YOu need to teach me how to write more TI. when I write, as I am already horrible with my writings, lacks of thoughts, too flowy, not structure is all my problems in writing.
    It will be a long and arduous journey, my friend, but ultimately you will reach true enlightenment. It will make you cry and tear your hair out. But at the end, you will discover the beauty of inner structure and logic and ye will be saved. Well, and bald. But you can't have everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    Says the emotionally retarded being that hasn't met a feeling yet that doesn't confuse her! Oh! Emotions! How ALIEN! Whatever do I do with them?! Oh, I guess I'll just, NOT DEAL.
    *wards against the emotions* Hey, I've got you to deal with those things. I just bring out your inner frat boy.
    allez cuisine!

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    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    NO NO, mpiazza000 (can I call you mpizza?), don't give into her wiley ways. She really just wants the opportunity to lobotomise your brain!

    I've had to keep her away by many dastardly tricks and flips. I own a hellhound, for instance.
    An LSI female lobotomise my brain? errrrr the last time I check they blame us ENFj for messing with people's mind, Few knows me here or have observed me in here, But i do some crazy NI maybe her SE can handle my victimish, dreadful vision.....
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    She really just wants the opportunity to lobotomise your brain!
    Mmm, brains. TASTY. And pshaw, everyone knows 'ethical type' is just code for lobotomised. *pats on the head* Now be a good girl.
    allez cuisine!

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    and oh yea you can call me mpiazza, you can just call me numbers since i am known to a few who visits stickam.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mpiazza000 View Post
    maybe her SE can handle my victimish, dreadful vision.....
    I eat that for breakfast.
    allez cuisine!

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    Quote Originally Posted by idolatrie View Post
    I eat that for breakfast.
    And I eat your brain for breakfast. Ti-nutrition-y goodness.
    ()
    3w4-1w2-5w4 sx/sp

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    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    And I eat your brain for breakfast. Ti-nutrition-y goodness.
    allez cuisine!

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