I find your fresh perspective reinvigorating.
Your current situation reminds me of myself. The not considering alternatives and when finally do realizing what an abundance of viable options one never considered was available.
I'd suggest starting from quadra values. Not because I think that is the way to go, but because that is what first got me considering alternatives. When I saw that delta is a far better fit then beta for me. Actually, that everything else was a better fit then beta.
I'm not certain about the temperaments as they seem conflicting for myself. But if you clearly identify with a temperament I'd say that's relevant.
Regarding the IME-s, here is my account of a conflict of interests I experience with beta ST-s. Perhaps it can help:"I feel like I can't fit in. When I try to get to know people it is perceived as romantic advance. Or in some way an expression of affection, a positive disposition towards them. When in reality I am just interested in what they have to say, what kind of person they are. For some reason people take this as a sing that I think the other person is special, that I perceive the other person as special because they get my undivided attention, because I wish to be with them, spend time together to get to know them.
When I don't feel like doing something I can't just not do it. For some reason it is expected of me to support the group above my personal needs. A recent example, family obligations. I didn't want to go to my cousin's wedding because I don't go to wedding and I barely know him. But there was this pressure, it's family and stuff. Like some sort of concept of what is right and wrong regarding social conduct is present, clearly defined rules of social conduct and engagement. I can't just walk out on family. Regardless of the fact that they are in essence strangers to me and are as significant in my life as my local cashier or supermarket clerk.
When I try to speak my mind I am ridiculed. But not in a mean way, more treated as a clown. Like, I try to get into a debate over the true meaning of something and people start laughing, petting me in that you're a goofy sidekick kind of way. Like I'm the groups fool, clown. And then next time they see me they treat me like that. It's like, they don't really understand, or care, what I am going on about, but because I seem to be serious about it, and completely benevolent, they accept me as I am and try to integrate me into their way of doing things, with trying to joke about my demeanor, trying to get me to engage them in lighthearted exchange of jokes. Giving me nicknames and giving me a caricature, that is, a place in their group. It's like, with beta ST-s you always know who has what position, there are clearly defined rules and hierarchy. An example my friend gave to me recently, a party organized by a group of "alternatives". Except there was a strict dress code. That is, everybody had to look the same to ensure that everybody is proper, it was clearly defined what was proper, what is allowed and what isn't. That kind of strict structure and hierarchy in relations between people is unnatural to myself and I cannot abide by it."
Regarding the IME, perhaps the wiki and rick's blog can help. Here is something from the wiki that I think can give you a conception of the IME-s described:
Si vs. Se:"Unlike 
, which is about one's subjective sensory experience (how intense or enjoyable it is), 
is about achieving an object of desire. It gives one the ability to influence, bend, and push situations and people in order to achieve such an object, rather than to enjoy the situation one is in.
In contrast to , is related to following one's own needs instead of focusing on some externally-driven conception of what is necessary to acquire or achieve. So, whereas ego types feel capable to evaluate how justified others' preferences are, ego types will try to adjust to them in any way possible (given that it does not extremely affect their own comfort), wishing to minimize conflict."
User Khamelion
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), and so I can't really judge what you value more or less. I'd rather you didn't just throw a description out at me that says something like "I probably value Ni because of this". It's something that either I'll work out myself or something on which someone else will throw some great new perspective.
Originally Posted by Diana
