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Thread: Is this Fi vs Fe?

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    Post Is this Fi vs Fe?

    "I prefer private relationships where most of what is said and done remains between me and the other individual. I respect privacy and value integrity and loyalty. In more serious relationships I want to be able to trust and confide the other person and feel safe about the information I share."

    vs

    "I prefer open relationships where most of what is said and done presents a process of give-and-take and provides information for exchange with other people. I value honesty and openness. In more serious relationships I want to be able to freely express myself and be accepted for who I am and what I do. I communicate freely with everyone and tend to keep very little information hidden."

    ?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    I don't think so.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Maybe it's more introversion vs extraversion
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Maybe it's more introversion vs extraversion
    that's what I was thinking too.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I don't think so.
    neither do i.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Maybe it's more introversion vs extraversion
    It has to be more than that because those are opposing views and two people like that will (most likely) not get along with each other. Their expectations would be mismatched and unmet.
    Last edited by Park; 09-26-2008 at 09:20 PM.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I don't think so.
    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    neither do i.
    Quote Originally Posted by Carla View Post
    Neither do I.
    Ok. What do you all think it is, then?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Ok. What do you all think it is, then?
    something else. i could see both of those aspects associated with Fi or Fe, fwiw. maybe dependent on whatever they're blocked with. maybe need more information to decide.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    something else. i could see both of those aspects associated with Fi or Fe, fwiw. maybe dependent on whatever they're blocked with. maybe need more information to decide.
    Ok, what if I added this:

    "I value each relationship separately. I have no reason to trust people and reveal them details about my relationships. I guard myself and my relationships. And I expect the other person to understand this and be at least a little careful as to how they expose our relationship to others."

    vs

    "I don't hide my intentions, my consciousness is clear and I leave the rest up to the other person. Most people have good intentions and can be generally trusted, but I sometimes find myself amused to discover what some people were really about/after."
    Last edited by Park; 09-26-2008 at 10:36 PM.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carla View Post
    Actually, for friendship-type relationships I prefer this:

    "I prefer open relationships where most of what is said and done provides for an exchange of information with other people."

    For romantic-type relationships, of course, I prefer this:

    "I prefer private relationships where most of what is said and done remains between me and the other individual. I respect privacy and value integrity and loyalty. I want to be able to trust and confide in the other person and feel safe about the information that I share."

    I thought that this would be a general trend for most people though, yeah? Or no?
    Not for me. One of my best friends (another IEI) and I do both. At times we talk about open stuff and that's understood that it's information we'd share with anyone or whatever but at other times and on certain topics, it's understood that it's private and I know I can trust her not to go blabbing about it. There are even things I'd tell my best friend that I wouldn't necessarily tell my romantic partner (a.k.a. husband) just because she understands it and he doesn't, or whatever.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carla View Post
    Actually, for friendship-type relationships I prefer this:

    "I prefer open relationships where most of what is said and done provides for an exchange of information with other people."

    For romantic-type relationships, of course, I prefer this:

    "I prefer private relationships where most of what is said and done remains between me and the other individual. I respect privacy and value integrity and loyalty. I want to be able to trust and confide in the other person and feel safe about the information that I share."

    I thought that this would be a general trend for most people though, yeah? Or no?
    I was more interested in the aspect that comes into conflict between the two.

    Thanks for the grammar corrections.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kioshi View Post
    I don’t see the conflict.
    The conflict is in the way they handle the exchanged information. One tends to keep it away from people it wasn't intended for and protects it from the potential of being misused, while the other sees no need of keeping it for themself and protecting it but is predisposed to share it and constantly gain others' opinion/perspective on it, which is something the 1st one wouldn't care about.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    At times we talk about open stuff and that's understood that it's information we'd share with anyone or whatever but at other times and on certain topics, it's understood that it's private and I know I can trust her not to go blabbing about it. There are even things I'd tell my best friend that I wouldn't necessarily tell my romantic partner (a.k.a. husband) just because she understands it and he doesn't, or whatever.
    Yeah, so far you're closest to what I'm thinking.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    Not for me. One of my best friends (another IEI) and I do both. At times we talk about open stuff and that's understood that it's information we'd share with anyone or whatever but at other times and on certain topics, it's understood that it's private and I know I can trust her not to go blabbing about it. There are even things I'd tell my best friend that I wouldn't necessarily tell my romantic partner (a.k.a. husband) just because she understands it and he doesn't, or whatever.
    I think I'm much the same. I generally have different patterns based on who the person is to me, how well we know each other. I have a couple close friends that I know I can share anything with, because they are sensitive about knowing what I wouldn't want them to share with anyone else. We're all on the same page about "private" info.

    With other people, I'm not always sure. People often share info with me I'd consider "private" rather freely, regardless of whether we're close, so I'm sometimes not certain whether I should repeat it or no. Usually I don't if I think it's something very personal, like family secrets or it seems like something of a confessional nature. It's a strange position to be in.

    I rather like being a *special* confidant, so I feel privileged to be trusted with someone's personal info. I often don't want to tell anyone else.
    socio: INFp - IEI
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    How about:

    I prefer relationships where very private conversations/interactions remain between me and the other individual. I'd like this relationship to be a give-and take one, (without scores being kept). Less intimate information can be shared with others in a non-hurtful way.

    I value integrity, loyalty, honesty, and openness.

    I want to be able to freely express myself and be accepted for who I am and what I do.
    But I can also respect privacy, and expect my own privacy to be kept. Depending on who I am with, I am an open book. But I also want the freedom to keep things private. Keeping some things private is, after all, part of the freedom of my expressing myself.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aka-kitsune View Post
    I think I'm much the same. I generally have different patterns based on who the person is to me, how well we know each other. I have a couple close friends that I know I can share anything with, because they are sensitive about knowing what I wouldn't want them to share with anyone else. We're all on the same page about "private" info.

    With other people, I'm not always sure. People often share info with me I'd consider "private" rather freely, regardless of whether we're close, so I'm sometimes not certain whether I should repeat it or no. Usually I don't if I think it's something very personal, like family secrets or it seems like something of a confessional nature. It's a strange position to be in.

    I rather like being a *special* confidant, so I feel privileged to be trusted with someone's personal info. I often don't want to tell anyone else.
    Fwiw, I've had pretty much the same experiences and I relate 100%, especially to the last sentence.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    How about:

    I prefer relationships where very private conversations/interactions remain between me and the other individual. I'd like this relationship to be a give-and take one, (without scores being kept). Less intimate information can be shared with others in a non-hurtful way.

    I value integrity, loyalty, honesty, and openness.

    I want to be able to freely express myself and be accepted for who I am and what I do.
    But I can also respect privacy, and expect my own privacy to be kept. Depending on who I am with, I am an open book. But I also want the freedom to keep things private. Keeping some things private is, after all, part of the freedom of my expressing myself.
    That's... perfect, I guess? You did a nice mix. Maybe someone else can do a remix.
    Last edited by Park; 09-26-2008 at 11:20 PM.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    That's... perfect, I guess? You did a nice mix. Maybe someone else can do a remix.
    i put it in the quotes because the words you gave weren't quite the words I would use, but the idea the words were saying were the same, i just didn't see them as being mutually exclusive of the other. The added in words are, of course, my own, to help flesh it out a bit and make it a bit more personal..closer to how I would have said it in my own words.


    you know, how some people bold up the parts they identify with...
    i just rearranged them and added a personal touch.
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    i put it in the quotes because the words you gave weren't quite the words I would use, but the idea the words were saying were the same, i just didn't see them as being mutually exclusive of the other. The added in words are, of course, my own, to help flesh it out a bit and make it a bit more personal..closer to how I would have said it in my own words.


    you know, how some people bold up the parts they identify with...
    i just rearranged them and added a personal touch.
    Yeah, I got that. You're very creative.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Fwiw, I've had pretty much the same experiences and I relate 100%, especially to the last sentence.
    ME TOO.
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    I should probably add that there are times when I'm told something by a person, that I know that they consider personal or privileged information....
    and then am talking to a mutual friend who's having a problem with a situation with the first person, shares with me their personal or privileged information...
    and feeling stuck because they are both misunderstanding the other, and that if the first knew one part of the second and the second knew one part of the first, then there wouldn't be this issue....
    but I can't say anything because it was told me in private and if I do hint at it then I lose that confidant status, and oh it sucks, and i wish they'd actually communicate with each other about this, it could be resolved so easily..
    and...
    aaaaarrrrrrggghhhh!



    *scoops up some..stray...hair off the floor*
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    oh, i think the point of that rant above was that i don't know which option it would fall into,
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    "I prefer private relationships where most of what is said and done remains between me and the other individual. I respect privacy and value integrity and loyalty. In more serious relationships I want to be able to trust and confide the other person and feel safe about the information I share."

    vs

    "I prefer open relationships where most of what is said and done presents a process of give-and-take and provides information for exchange with other people. I value honesty and openness. In more serious relationships I want to be able to freely express myself and be accepted for who I am and what I do. I communicate freely with everyone and tend to keep very little information hidden."

    ?
    not in whole but in part
    ENTP:wink:ALPHA

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    ME TOO.
    This is not the first time I relate to aka-kitsune's posts actually and I've had the same feeling with a few other IEI's on here. Perhaps my enneagram self-typing as 4w5 is correct after all. Or maybe I am an IEI. But then again, why do I bother explaining everything with these stupid mumbo jumbo personality theories??? We're all people.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    oh, i think the point of that rant above was that i don't know which option it would fall into,
    I think it would fall into the first category. :wink:
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    This is not the first time I relate to aka-kitsune's posts actually and I've had the same feeling with a few other IEI's on here. Perhaps my enneagram self-typing as 4w5 is correct after all. Or maybe I am an IEI. But then again, why do I bother explaining everything with these mumbo jumbo personality theories??? We're all people.
    well that's for sure true. You def. could be a 4.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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