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Thread: IEEs/ENFps in introverted and extroverted states

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    Default IEEs/ENFps in introverted and extroverted states

    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I remember having read somewhere that IEEs seem to have two faces? Do you know anything about it?

    I have noticed that I have two, almost polar, appearances/states, one extremely timid and introverted and one extroverted, and I have probably switched between these states all my life. It has nothing to do with sadness or happiness. I can feel sad and happy in both states.

    Does anyone know if this has to do with IEE personality?
    Are you the same, and if so, do you know why?
    I think that's called Bipolar.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

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    Not sure about having two faces but I think I have two brains. One where I wander in my mind thinking of anything possible, analyzing stuff and the other where I actually talk with people. Usually if I'm wandering inside my brain I can still participate in a conversation somewhat but probably wont be listening much, that's most likely when I come out as timid and not my usual extroverted self. I do that when I am not interested in what is going on around me, as in boring or I am preoccupied with something else that is bugging me more.

    Not sure if that bipolar, I don't consider it as a disorder or an illness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    I think that's called Bipolar.
    not really

    part of it is being ExFp
    part of it is just being human
    part of it is when the people around one's self is expecting..nay...demanding, that the person be upbeat and cheerful when in reality they aren't feeling that way at the moment, but the person doesn't want to cause conflict or bring others down
    part of it is not particularly wanting to share all of one's thoughts/emotions with the outside world
    part of it is because a person can feel both happy AND sad/mad/etc at the very same time....there are various things that can affect which actually might show up in outward behavior

    but mostly I would say that the changes, even sudden changes, would be even more noticeable in an ExFp. Other types and people do it, but for strong noticeability factor, I think ExFp would take the cake, lol.


    (we could also take in the observer's biases upon viewing the mood 'swings'. for example, an ixtj would likely consider it to be some kind of disorder that the exfp is showing; or a beta nf might consider it as the exfp is 'playing games', or 'acting', or 'intentionally changing behaviors for some known and directed purpose')
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    I am sometimes much more extraverted than other times, depending on how comfortable I am with the other people involved.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    My moods don't swing so much, it's more like shifting from "being with people" to "being alone". And I think you said something important here. That "people demand that you are cheerful". I even feel like they "demand that I take any initiative and entertain everybody". I guess I'm just tired.
    yeah, my post had been more directed at the bipolar comment which many people perceive as constant shifting of moods

    What slackermom mentioned is a pretty common topic amongst enfps on the forum.

    For myself, I'm more outgoing when first crossing a person on the streets than I am if we stop and chat for a bit. If the topic is really interesting to me then I'll be more outgoing..embarrassingly so sometimes. But if i'm not that interested in it and they are talking away because they are interested, then i might be more mellow or introverted in my responses. Depends on the situation, really. If I'm around someone who I might be around more often (whether i want to..or not), then I tend to come off more introverted or shy. Mostly because of all the self talk and 'what ifs' or 'maybes' going on in my head.

    A while back, the discussions included the feeling that people expect the enfp to always be 'on', happy happy joy joy, run around flowers, hugging teddybears, etc. And that few would even accept that an enfp could be/do anything but. I think this perception of how enfp's 'should be' has been pretty much killed, (i hope, heh).

    But yeah, it's hard when others are expecting us to take initiative all the time, to pull everyone together, to lead everyone into a good time, to ensure that everything gets done or is covered, etc. To basically act more enfj-ish. I'm not sure if that's what you were referring to with the "demand that you take initiative and entertain everybody" comment. But that and the happyhappyjoyjoy demand is what that feels like to me, heh.
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    It was a joke, Ann.
    <nudge>
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    It was a joke, Ann.
    <nudge>
    yeah, i figured
    but i still had to follow the urge to try to clear some stuff up about bipolar...just in case, heh.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    (for the record : so was my answer )
    liar


    Well, Ann, I always got a bit antsy when I used to read those descriptions about enfp's because I always thought "It's impossible for anyone to honestly feel like that all the time, and I'd hate it if they still did it just to be fake about it"
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    Well, Ann, I always got a bit antsy when I used to read those descriptions about enfp's because I always thought "It's impossible for anyone to honestly feel like that all the time, and I'd hate it if they still did it just to be fake about it"
    which descriptions?
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    Well, descriptions on other boards by other people, i meant.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    Well, descriptions on other boards by other people, i meant.
    ah, ok,

    whew

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    ah, ok,

    whew

    haha, It's nice to know you guys are fine with us being so damn mellow. I used to think everyone would just find me unglodly boring.

    Maybe you guys just turn off or something when not around people?
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    haha, It's nice to know you guys are fine with us being so damn mellow. I used to think everyone would just find me unglodly boring.

    Maybe you guys just turn off or something when not around people?
    I think, as slacker and mimosa suggested, that it generally depends on who we are around

    So if we are around someone mellower, who isn't placing those demands on us, we are more free to be just ourselves, the fun and the faults together.

    The more pressure placed on us (probably on people in general) the more erratic the behavior might be.

    For myself, I love being around mellow (but not flat out lazy/unmotivated) people. I especially love being around someone who is doing something they love to do (except maybe self-love, heh). I also like having the attention be on something else, some activity, rather than directed at myself. Unless I'm dancing, the less direct focus on me, the better, heh.
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    Thanks for that, I never knew it from you guys' pov.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    That's a paradox, isn't it?
    I feel completely uncomfortable if I get attention, still I always seem to get loads of attention just because I'm having fun....

    I probably should learn to not dislike attention. Is that possible?
    i'm not sure if it's possible to learn to not like it, not sure how one would even go about doing that..

    for myself, the only reason why dancing is an exception is because i'm usually having just too damned much fun to care...either that or some of the people who wouldn't normally be having fun or having fun with me so it makes it worthwhile to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    So "do your thing, your way" and attention will not be a problem?
    i could never say that it won't be a problem because situations and circumstances can vary wildly, including the kind of attention one is getting, heh

    but in general, yeah, if i'm doing it my way, and am having fun and/or am being successful at it, then yeah, the attention (good or bad) doesn't mean as much to me.
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    This is true for me. If I catch my reflection in a store window or something I usually surprise myself by either looking so outgoing (is that me? I don't smile that big!) Or, by being overly quiet (wow, that person looks introverted). There are just a lot of sides to ENFps that make up the whole.

    I've had people say I'm the most outgoing person they've known, or the quietest/shyest, depending on the situations they saw me in. And people have said I look like a different person in every picture, which is kinda true as my mood changes ever 20 seconds and exactly what I'm thinking shows up on my face (is this true of other ENFps?).

    But I'd definitely say there are two sides there, neither better than the other. I've seen this in other ENFps too, especially the guys. That loud social side and that really quiet aloof one.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    I think my ego was tied to being seen as interesting, fun, inventive and funny and that had a big influence on my behavior. I was so tired of trying to be on for other people and not getting much back in return. I decided to give myself permission to drop it and just be a normal person, even if that meant being boring or unnoticed. I usually accept other people just as I find them so I decided to accept myself the same way. It may sound silly to someone who is ISTP that anyone would have a problem with trying to not respond to everyone around them but ENFPs are hypersensitive to others and that can leave them feeling divided inside. I feel a lot more stable and relaxed now that I dont feel that way but I had to consciously practice it and still do sometimes.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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