well, you did say:
You tell him he sounds really really needy and to stop it. Stopping it could apply to sounding needy...in which case it sounds like you might be telling him he shouldn't vent those emotions...ala 'suck it up' and 'keep it to yourself'. Stopping it could also be applying to 'stop being so damned needy', in which case one could still see it as a possible suggest to 'suck it up'.
As for the 3 month thing, surely an enfp would recognize that 3 months is plenty of time to develop an attachment to someone. An enfp would recognize that emotions aren't necessarily controlled before taking action on them. And that the pickiness of who they let into their lives is developed out of experience and learning about one's own priorities..and thus takes time to develop. Also that each person would develop it in his/her own way, and in varying amounts of time.
And even the last part of your first response is suggesting that it all comes down to controlling the emotions...and for only letting the emotions out when the time/place is appropriate. To be quite honest, this not only supports the perception of 'suck it up' being said, but it also sounds like something a J type would advise an ExFp.
Most common enfp responses are to point out silver linings, black linings, or other possibilities. It's probably very rare that an enfp would suggest to the person to stop being so ExFp-ish.
I also think that JuJu was referencing more than just this thread. But, imo, this part should be in its own thread and not to hijack the OP's thread.
It's also possible that the directness and seeming abruptness of the posts JuJu is referencing could just be that certain cues are being missed since this IS a written format and not one-on-one nor face-to-face. So maybe you aren't really being as direct, abrupt, or (possibly) rude as it might seem at first read.