Se Egos & Confrontation

[Ezra]

Se egos: how do you go about confrontation? (Fabio, as an SEE, may also answer, but if you're not Fabio or Se ego, don't answer - I'm not interested at this moment in time.)

ETA: BTW, when I said confrontation, I was referring to physical confrontation. I know a lot of types experience confrontation.

[strrrng]

edit: sorry lol

[Darkstar]

Why dont you start, ezra?

[Ezra]

I used to have no qualms about kicking the living shit out of someone who offended me in some way. I soon realised that this was not the way to go about life. I think negative physical confrontation is a barbaric and animalistic impulse when used unprovoked. The only time one should need to resort to negative physical conflict is when one is being attacked, and one is cornered. It is a last resort in every sense of the word.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[strrrng]

I used to have no qualms about kicking the living shit out of someone who offended me in some way. I soon realised that this was not the way to go about life. I think negative physical confrontation is a barbaric and animalistic impulse when used unprovoked. The only time one should need to resort to negative physical conflict is when one is being attacked, and one is cornered. It is a last resort in every sense of the word.

Oh, shut the hell up, Mr. Miagi. This is such a silly attitude, and it reeks of unwarranted nobility ("I only use my powers if necessary"...lol cmon).

Kicking someone's ass is a good stress release, and a good way to do one's duty to keep balance in life lol. Most people deserve an ass kicking, for one reason or another. I am more than happy to be the deliverer of their consequence.

For example, when my brother and I were walking home after playing basketball, this group of 5-6 guys was sitting on a bench directly along our path. They began to verbally mock us (saying things like "I fucking love you man" and dancing around us). This was aggravating because I was with my fucking brother, and I thought it was completely unwarranted. So, what did I do? Told them they were hilarious and walked up to the leader (whom I perceived as the leader, at least), and hit him in his jaw. He was all shocked lol (like "what the hell dude?!") but had to try to save his ego by attempting to engage me, at which point I dropped him with a short right (wow that was fulfilling -- *snap*...stumble back...so much better without gloves on). Out nigga. His friends didn't do shit; well, some tried to act like they were gonna fight, but they just gathered around him. I told them to suck each others' cocks and left.

The point is, I was by no means "cornered," and fighting was not the last resort. But, in my opinion, it was necessary. It wasn't a pride issue; I felt violated - there was no reason for them to do what they did. I just think that fighting isn't such an absolute thing. I don't need to justify why I beat someone's ass; there is no morality with combat. The only laws are: win by any means necessary, and, inflict the maximum amount of damage in the minimum amount of time. Fuck taking the high road and doing the "right" thing lol; if you want to fuck someone up, do it.

[discojoe]

Se egos: how do you go about confrontation? (Fabio, as an SEE, may also answer, but if you're not Fabio or Se ego, don't answer - I'm not interested at this moment in time.)

ETA: BTW, when I said confrontation, I was referring to physical confrontation. I know a lot of types experience confrontation.

ISFj karate.

[Darkstar]

Oh, shut the hell up, Mr. Miagi. This is such a silly attitude, and it reeks of unwarranted nobility ("I only use my powers if necessary"...lol cmon).

Kicking someone's ass is a good stress release, and a good way to do one's duty to keep balance in life lol. Most people deserve an ass kicking, for one reason or another. I am more than happy to be the deliverer of their consequence.

For example, when my brother and I were walking home after playing basketball, this group of 5-6 guys was sitting on a bench directly along our path. They began to verbally mock us (saying things like "I fucking love you man" and dancing around us). This was aggravating because I was with my fucking brother, and I thought it was completely unwarranted. So, what did I do? Told them they were hilarious and walked up to the leader (whom I perceived as the leader, at least), and hit him in his jaw. He was all shocked lol (like "what the hell dude?!") but had to try to save his ego by attempting to engage me, at which point I dropped him with a short right (wow that was fulfilling -- *snap*...stumble back...so much better without gloves on). Out nigga. His friends didn't do shit; well, some tried to act like they were gonna fight, but they just gathered around him. I told them to suck each others' cocks and left.

The point is, I was by no means "cornered," and fighting was not the last resort. But, in my opinion, it was necessary. It wasn't a pride issue; I felt violated - there was no reason for them to do what they did. I just think that fighting isn't such an absolute thing. I don't need to justify why I beat someone's ass; there is no morality with combat. The only laws are: win by any means necessary, and, inflict the maximum amount of damage in the minimum amount of time. Fuck taking the high road and doing the "right" thing lol; if you want to fuck someone up, do it.

haha and then you heard a loud buzzing sound and you woke up and went to kindergarten

[Ezra]

strrrng, as much as I like you, with that attitude, I find it difficult to have much respect for you.

[Mariano Rajoy]

Wouldn't Se ego types go about physical confrontation the same as every other type?

A fist in the face is a fist in the face, right?

[Ezra]

Wouldn't Se ego types go about physical confrontation the same as every other type?

A fist in the face is a fist in the face, right?

Point.

[Bardia]

The only person I have ever had physical confrontations with is my ESTp brother. It usually involved him poking and prodding me until I was fed up and then we would go at it until my parents broke us up or until one of us was injured enough to give up. Most people just don't bother me. I don't purposefully try to get into physical fights but I certainly don't send of the vibe that I am afraid of them.

Most of my fights tend to be verbal. Someone does or says something I don't like and I call them out on it. I will directly say why did you do or say that. Then they can either tell me the truth and I can try to correct them (correcting them doesn't always work but I respect a truthful answer) or they can lie to me and I proceed to tear through their motivations and expose their true intentions.

[strrrng]

haha and then you heard a loud buzzing sound and you woke up and went to kindergarten

*yawn*

strrrng, as much as I like you, with that attitude, I find it difficult to have much respect for you.

It's just the truth. I have matured over the past few years, and am not some loose cannon who looks for fights. I just try not to attach myself to any moral code with combat, but rather, deal with things on a situational basis.

Wouldn't Se ego types go about physical confrontation the same as every other type?

A fist in the face is a fist in the face, right?

Indeed.

[FDG]

Wouldn't Se ego types go about physical confrontation the same as every other type?

A fist in the face is a fist in the face, right?

+1 that's what I think too.

If you want my opinion on confrontations, I usually get in confrontations mostly with self-appointed authority figures (with "bureucratic" authority figures a lot less so, because it's a complete waste of time) that treat other people like shit telling them what to do; usually these people are ESTjs (obviously this is how I perceive the situation, it might not be an accurately objective). I don't recall me getting in other type of physical altercations.
I don't even consider verbal altercations as real confrontation. Most of the time when I am having a verbal conflict, I consider is as "joking".

[Darkstar]

nicky boy aren't you told in martial art "class" that you should only use what you learn in self defense and only if it is the last way out?

Wouldn't you get kicked out if you got caught if you did what you did?

[discojoe]

strrrng, as much as I like you, with that attitude, I find it difficult to have much respect for you.

I wouldn't take what he said too seriously. It seemed more like venting than a serious dissertation.

[discojoe]

As fun as it can be to fantasize about destroying someone you don't like, the reality is that getting into a real fight can be extremely dangerous and have many unforeseen consequences. You don't know if the person is carrying some kind of weapon or if his friends will join in, or if he'll fight dirty, or if one of you will accidentally get seriously hurt. It's best to avoid fights altogether with diplomacy. You might have to swallow some pride, but you'll be better off in the long run.

I've been in two serious fights in my life, and both times I was fortunate enough to have people forcibly break it up before they could escalate. I'm one of those people who "zones out" when he fights, and I can't control myself; I just go totally berserk, and afterward I don't remember much.

[strrrng]

nicky boy aren't you told in martial art "class" that you should only use what you learn in self defense and only if it is the last way out?

Stupid fuck, if you knew anything about martial arts, you would know that the "fight only in self-defense/as a last resort" policy is only preached in traditional schools, like tae kwon do, karate, etc. It is an attitude that originated in Eastern martial arts, and carried over into the US when those styles began being taught here, and has become a sort of pop catch-phrase for martial arts students of those styles.

I, however, have never studied any of those martial arts. The martial arts which I have studied include: boxing, muy thai, and some brief wrestling/jiu-jitsu. That being said, my main focus has always been boxing. Sure, some trainers at boxing gyms will tell you not to fight outside the ring, but it's usually because they don't want you to break your hands; they don't impose some arbitrary moral code on you that they think was professed by God. My trainer wasn't a big proponent of fighting, but that's just because he's incredibly gifted; I would view myself as superior to it too if I had his abilities.

Wouldn't you get kicked out if you got caught if you did what you did?

lol, this isn't the karate kid, dumbass. If I told my trainer about that situation with my brother and those guys, he'd probably laugh.

I wouldn't take what he said too seriously. It seemed more like venting than a serious dissertation.

lol, I needed to vent.

[Darkstar]

well maybe what you have learned isn't so dangerous so your teacher haven't told you not to use it

[strrrng]

well maybe what you have learned isn't so dangerous so your teacher haven't told you not to use it

First of all, learn some grammar.

Second of all, the techniques, once developed to a proficient degree, are actually quite dangerous. A roundhouse kick can cause instantaneous internal bleeding in someone's quadricep or knock someone out cold (if it hits their head); a straight right can break someone's nose and a hook can break someone's jaw; a vertical elbow strike can split someone's forehead open; and a knee can damage someone's lungs or break their nose/jaw.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Wynch]

First of all, learn some grammar.

Second of all, the techniques, once developed to a proficient degree, are actually quite dangerous. A roundhouse kick can cause instantaneous internal bleeding in someone's quadricep or knock someone out cold (if it hits their head); a straight right can break someone's nose and a hook can break someone's jaw; a vertical elbow strike can split someone's forehead open; and a knee can damage someone's lungs or break their nose/jaw.

OMG, I knew it! you're Chuck Norris in disguise. Damn, and to think I second guessed myself.

[strrrng]

lol

[Darkstar]

First of all, learn some grammar.

Second of all, the techniques, once developed to a proficient degree, are actually quite dangerous. A roundhouse kick can cause instantaneous internal bleeding in someone's quadricep or knock someone out cold (if it hits their head); a straight right can break someone's nose and a hook can break someone's jaw; a vertical elbow strike can split someone's forehead open; and a knee can damage someone's lungs or break their nose/jaw.

Why do you want me to learn grammar?

Why did you tell me all those things that are bolded?


vero, I'd rather think he is the guy that writes all those chuck norris jokes with all his constant talk about kicks and punches. He will for no apparent reason start talking on stickam about how you hit and kick someone : (

[Wynch]

vero, I'd rather think he is the guy that writes all those chuck norris jokes with all his constant talk about kicks and punches. He will for no apparent reason start talking on stickam about how you hit and kick someone : (

I think that's hot.

[Darkstar]

*blush*

Thanks

[strrrng]

Why do you want me to learn grammar?

So I don't have to be tortured with your poor writing skills anymore.

Why did you tell me all those things that are bolded?

To correct your notion that the strikes learned in those styles of martial arts aren't dangerous.

vero, I'd rather think he is the guy that writes all those chuck norris jokes with all his constant talk about kicks and punches. He will for no apparent reason start talking on stickam about how you hit and kick someone : (

Yes, this is true. I will give people a good education session on a given technique, if I am bored enough. So what? If I recall correctly, you were inquiring about various techniques the last time I started rambling, so don't act as if you were indifferent towards it.

And everyone should be educated in self-defense. The people in this country are pathetic; most cops couldn't even defend themselves against someone with a basic skill level in martial arts and good physical fitness.

[Wynch]

*blush*

Thanks

I was talking about the way Nick acts, actually. Though I was being facetious if it makes you feel better.

[Darkstar]

mmmmm : (

[Darkstar]

I was talking about the way Nick acts, actually. Though I was being facetious if it makes you feel better.

Oh, I see. But it was my poor grammar writing skills that brought your facetuousness up.

[unefille]

Note to Ezra: I know you wanted only Fabio or an Se-ego to respond, but I'm going to post anyway. Sorry in advance for disregarding your request.

Dad is LSI and his attitude to physical confrontation is basically if confronted, you don't back down. He's been in a quite a few fights, especially when he was younger, which is somewhat incongruous with his generally bookish persona (his hobby is reading history books, sketching and carving and he's an engineer). If someone gets in your face or into your space, then you beat them down because they're disrespecting you. Physical confrontation does seem to be something that he's comfortable with and also, something which he instinctively reaches for. On the few occasions I've cried over guys, his instant response was to offer/announce that he was going to beat them up. That probably sounds hilarious, but the principle stands. When he thinks a situation isn't going anywhere and reason is useless, it is natural to him that physicality will resolve the issue. He doesn't look to fight though and he generally minds his own business, but fighting isn't something he would hesitate about or be tentative of.

I personally also fought a lot growing up. I'm not sure if it was part of my tomboy persona, or if I was just a particularly 'physical' kid. I don't fight anymore, because there aren't that many situations that call for girls to fight and the whole way in which a lot of women fight - the scratching and hair pulling - is just uncivilised and undignified. That, and I broke a girl's arm when I was 10 and I've sort of been haunted by that ever since. My attitude to confrontation was basically taught to me by my dad. Since his rule was never stand down, I never stood down. I've always been taught that if someone's picking on you, then confronting them and standing your ground, including fighting them, would get them to leave you alone. Not that I've ever experienced bullying of any kind. That said, I'm not particularly tough or physically strong and I'm probably pretty easy to manhandle.

Anyway, I do think Se-egos can be quite inclined to physical confrontation, or at least to value the ability respond to hostile situations with physicality. It's not necessarily the first resort, but I don't think it's their 'last resort' either. They seem quite comfortable with the idea of using force when they deem necessary.

[strrrng]

Note to Ezra: I know you wanted only Fabio or an Se-ego to respond, but I'm going to post anyway. Sorry in advance for disregarding your request.

Dad is LSI and his attitude to physical confrontation is basically if confronted, you don't back down. He's been in a quite a few fights, especially when he was younger, which is somewhat incongruous with his generally bookish persona (his hobby is reading history books, sketching and carving and he's an engineer). If someone gets in your face or into your space, then you beat them down because they're disrespecting you. Physical confrontation does seem to be something that he's comfortable with and also, something which he instinctively reaches for. On the few occasions I've cried over guys, his instant response was to offer/announce that he was going to beat them up. That probably sounds hilarious, but the principle stands. When he thinks a situation isn't going anywhere and reason is useless, it is natural to him that physicality will resolve the issue. He doesn't look to fight though and he generally minds his own business, but fighting isn't something he would hesitate about or be tentative of.

I think your dad and I would get along quite well.

I personally also fought a lot growing up. I'm not sure if it was part of my tomboy persona, or if I was just a particularly 'physical' kid. I don't fight anymore, because there aren't that many situations that call for girls to fight and the whole way in which a lot of women fight - the scratching and hair pulling - is just uncivilised and undignified. That, and I broke a girl's arm when I was 10 and I've sort of been haunted by that ever since. My attitude to confrontation was basically taught to me by my dad. Since his rule was never stand down, I never stood down. I've always been taught that if someone's picking on you, then confronting them and standing your ground, including fighting them, would get them to leave you alone. Not that I've ever experienced bullying of any kind. That said, I'm not particularly tough or physically strong and I'm probably pretty easy to manhandle.

yeah

Anyway, I do think Se-egos can be quite inclined to physical confrontation, or at least to value the ability respond to hostile situations with physicality. It's not necessarily the first resort, but I don't think it's their 'last resort' either. They seem quite comfortable with the idea of using force when they deem necessary.

lol, this is one of the things that has made me doubt that I am Se dual seeking time and time again. I have the same philosophy as your dad and am quite comfortable - in fact, I believe I thrive - in physical confrontation, or any situation that requires immediate action or application of force. I LOVE chaos; I yearn for situations where you just have to fight to the end, and then you see that the true warriors shine and the weak (duck watchers *cough* jem *cough*) wither away in the ruins of destruction.

[unefille]

I think your dad and I would get along quite well.

lol, this is one of the things that has made me doubt that I am Se dual seeking time and time again. I have the same philosophy as your dad and am quite comfortable - in fact, I believe I thrive - in physical confrontation, or any situation that requires immediate action or application of force. I LOVE chaos; I yearn for situations where you just have to fight to the end, and then you see that the true warriors shine and the weak (duck watchers *cough* jem *cough*) wither away in the ruins of destruction.

lol, actually, your training program always reminds me of things I've been told growing up. Dad used to train a LOT when he was younger and he always said that I got let off easy because I was born a girl. If he had a son, he would have trained him HARD. Strength - physical and of character - is something I've always been brought up to value. I went to a very academic high school, so not much emphasis was placed on physical pursuits and every time Dad came to pick me up after school, he would snort about all the boys at school were pathetic weaklings. He was quite quietly derisive of anyone afraid of physical combat, of standing up for themselves, and there's nothing he hates more than a coward.

I think chaos and the fighting spirit is a very Beta ethos (lol, how did I ever not realise I was Beta?) - one of my recurring dreams is always of the apocalypse and being part of a small group of survivors, fighting for some ideal in a world of chaos. It's those situations that really force you to prove your mettle - it heats the blood and tests the nerve. You fight, or you wither away. Those are the situations that exalts the spirit.

[strrrng]

lol, actually, your training program always reminds me of things I've been told growing up. Dad used to train a LOT when he was younger and he always said that I got let off easy because I was born a girl. If he had a son, he would have trained him HARD. Strength - physical and of character - is something I've always been brought up to value. I went to a very academic high school, so not much emphasis was placed on physical pursuits and every time Dad came to pick me up after school, he would snort about all the boys at school were pathetic weaklings. He was quite quietly derisive of anyone afraid of physical combat, of standing up for themselves, and there's nothing he hates more than a coward.

Dude, I fucking love your dad. I have had the EXACT same sentiments regarding kids and other people. I'm telling you, when I have kids - girl or boy - they're not going to be crybaby little brats like the little fucks on my street. Whenever one of my little siblings (10 year old sis, 7 year old bro, 1 year old sis) hurts themselves on something petty, I stare at them blankly and tell them not to cry. Dammit, I'm saying, my kids aren't going to be little twats; they will be taught discipline and fortitude. If someone hits you in your stomach, you hit them back twice as hard - period. And lol @ the part about your school. Whenever I have gone up to the weight room in my pussy ass neighborhood, there's always some fat chick walking on the treadmill, while listening to music, reading a magazine and watching tv. And then there's some scrawny kid trying to bench press the world, and a few older men who could seriously use a lesson on what real masculinity is. What the hell is wrong with people? It's like they have no backbone. So, I make sure, when I train, that I do my duty and prepare myself for the worst; you have to break yourself down. None of this silly jenny craig aerobic bullshit; kill or be killed.

I think chaos and the fighting spirit is a very Beta ethos (lol, how did I ever not realise I was Beta?) - one of my recurring dreams is always of the apocalypse and being part of a small group of survivors, fighting for some ideal in a world of chaos. It's those situations that really force you to prove your mettle - it heats the blood and tests the nerve. You fight, or you wither away. Those are the situations that exalts the spirit.

I agree, it tends to be more common among betas. And your dream is awesome. The noble war is what I live for as well. When the chaos ensues, and the masses scatter in panic, the the lone warriors rise from the shadows, ever so surreptitiously - like gargoyles coming to life at night - bound to defend the good against the demons. They are ignored in times of peace, ostracized, yet when the time comes, when all hell breaks loose, they fly free, and reign supreme, infinitely engaged in the beauty of chaos and destruction, fighting until the end for that great vision.

check out my thread on coheed and cambria btw.

[Ezra]

they don't impose some arbitrary moral code on you that they think was professed by God.

mmmmm : (

If in doubt at whom a compliment is directed, assume it is not directed at you. If not in doubt, you are a narcissistic bastard.

Note to Ezra: I know you wanted only Fabio or an Se-ego to respond, but I'm going to post anyway. Sorry in advance for disregarding your request.

That's okay, because what you posted was answering the question.

Dad is LSI and his attitude to physical confrontation is basically if confronted, you don't back down. He's been in a quite a few fights, especially when he was younger, which is somewhat incongruous with his generally bookish persona (his hobby is reading history books, sketching and carving and he's an engineer). If someone gets in your face or into your space, then you beat them down because they're disrespecting you. Physical confrontation does seem to be something that he's comfortable with and also, something which he instinctively reaches for. On the few occasions I've cried over guys, his instant response was to offer/announce that he was going to beat them up. That probably sounds hilarious, but the principle stands. When he thinks a situation isn't going anywhere and reason is useless, it is natural to him that physicality will resolve the issue. He doesn't look to fight though and he generally minds his own business, but fighting isn't something he would hesitate about or be tentative of.

I personally also fought a lot growing up. I'm not sure if it was part of my tomboy persona, or if I was just a particularly 'physical' kid. I don't fight anymore, because there aren't that many situations that call for girls to fight and the whole way in which a lot of women fight - the scratching and hair pulling - is just uncivilised and undignified. That, and I broke a girl's arm when I was 10 and I've sort of been haunted by that ever since. My attitude to confrontation was basically taught to me by my dad. Since his rule was never stand down, I never stood down. I've always been taught that if someone's picking on you, then confronting them and standing your ground, including fighting them, would get them to leave you alone. Not that I've ever experienced bullying of any kind. That said, I'm not particularly tough or physically strong and I'm probably pretty easy to manhandle.

Anyway, I do think Se-egos can be quite inclined to physical confrontation, or at least to value the ability respond to hostile situations with physicality. It's not necessarily the first resort, but I don't think it's their 'last resort' either. They seem quite comfortable with the idea of using force when they deem necessary.

What Enneagram type's your dad, unefille?

[unefille]

What Enneagram type's your dad, unefille?

Probably cp6w5 and social last - probably sp/sx. Why?

[strrrng]

Probably cp6w5 and social last - probably sp/sx. Why?

That makes sense. cp6w5 and 8 were the only two plausible options in my mind. And I figured there had to be some sx in there as well lol.

[Ezra]

I was trying to draw conclusions about strrrng.

strrrng, gut instinct. If you approve of unefille's dad, almost in admiration, would cp6w5 seriously not make sense? I mean, you have this kind of attitude whereby you'd rather fight someone if confronted, as does he. And if you're LSI, then let's have a party!

LSI sx/sp cp6w5. Good types to be, and you are cool.

All settled. Let's have the party now.

[FDG]

I think my attitude towards confrontation is similar to unefille's dad attitude, basically. Although I couldn't care less about discipline, even if I can be disciplined if I want to.

My dad is LSI and, of course, he has a similar attitude too (even though he doesn't really stress discipline or anything - I've alwayws been an active kid). This means that whenever we have a verbal confrontation (rarely - once a year), neither of us ever backs down. I think once, when my mother wasn't at home, we went on for 2 hours, with 30 minutes of "I am not going to agree with you" to each other, lol.

[strrrng]

I was trying to draw conclusions about strrrng.

strrrng, gut instinct. If you approve of unefille's dad, almost in admiration, would cp6w5 seriously not make sense? I mean, you have this kind of attitude whereby you'd rather fight someone if confronted, as does he. And if you're LSI, then let's have a party!

LSI sx/sp cp6w5. Good types to be, and you are cool.

All settled. Let's have the party now.

It is quite possible lol. I know that sx/sp is my instinct, regardless of type; it really is my governing force. But yeah, I do identify with her dad so much; I wish more people were like him so that I wouldn't have to go through the trouble of exterminating them or putting up with incompetencies (jk lol). We shall see.

I think my attitude towards confrontation is similar to unefille's dad attitude, basically. Although I couldn't care less about discipline, even if I can be disciplined if I want to.

Strong Se and weak+unvalued Ti.