ISTp interest/attraction and physical personal space

[consentingadult]

... but not this time: I finally recognized an SLI girl during interaction with one, instead of 5 years later

I have a question for the SLIs here: if you like someone, do you easily let that person within your physical private space? I mean, without you taking initiative yourself?

[Creepy-]

I have a question for the SLIs here: if you like someone, do you easily let that person within your physical private space? I mean, without you taking initiative yourself?

Not to be difficult, but can you define what you mean by "physical private space"? I guess it would really depend on context....

[jessica129]

It all depends on the level of comfort I feel with the other person. Some people you feel like you've known all your life and you're 100% comfortable with them...others, no matter what, you never get that feeling. What a horrible answer, ha.

[consentingadult]

Not to be difficult, but can you define what you mean by "physical private space"? I guess it would really depend on context....

as in: sitting next to this girl, asking her if I can take over her laptop and she not moving an inch to give me some space, so basically I have to do my best not to get physical.

The thing is, most people don't like other people getting too close physically, unless they really want them to. Most people who want to, will signal so using body language. This girl didn't move, didn't signal anything, but she didn't give me the feeling either that she was passive/aggressive or resistant about she not moving an inch (some people might not move an inch as a means of being resistant to perceived outside pressure). In hindsight, it felt like she put herself 'in my way', but that was all the initiative she took. Don't get me wrong, btw, I do not necessarily assume that there was some kind of attraction going on here. Not that I'm aware of anyway.

[jessica129]

That's something I'm hypersensitive to. If I didn't want you near me, I think I'd make it very well known and wouldn't hesistate to avoid contact. I'm thinking of the vibe I get from the creepy guy at my work and hmm, yeah...if you were on that level I'd probobly distance myself a few feet so as not to be in contact.

But hmmm... I'd be uncomfortable with that level of closeness with any sort of stranger whether i were attracted to them or not as I think almost anyone would...i don't think that's type related. Everyone has that personal space they don't want invaded.

[consentingadult]

Everyone has that personal space they don't want invaded.

I agree. But I do wonder if types deal with their personal space being invaded differently.... Actually, for the purposes of this discussion, I don't, I'd rather like to know their attitudes and behaviors when they do want closeness, in whatever sense.

[Park]

I have a question for the SLIs here: if you like someone, do you easily let that person within your physical private space? I mean, without you taking initiative yourself?

Yes, with pleasure, but ONLY if I like someone enough.

That's something I'm hypersensitive to. If I didn't want you near me, I think I'd make it very well known and wouldn't hesistate to avoid contact.

Pretty much...

[consentingadult]

So, let's say the first steps have been taken, what would be the next thing an SLI would do? Today I had to interact with that girl again, and I got the feeling she was trying to tease me in order to get a response out of me. It was not very offensive, but it felt not quite comfortable either.

[jessica129]

I throw that vibe out there.

Nah, to be more specific I guess I put on the shy act or get super witty and smiley. But then again, I'm like that with almost all strangers and some have taken it the wrong way when there was nothing there. Omg, i could never date an ISTP.

[consentingadult]

I throw that vibe out there.

Nah, to be more specific I guess I put on the shy act or get super witty and smiley. But then again, I'm like that with almost all strangers and some have taken it the wrong way when there was nothing there. Omg, i could never date an ISTP.

well, in this case she was super witty and smiley, and all of that at 20cm/8 inch distance

[Creepy-]

well, in this case she was super witty and smiley, and all of that at 20cm/8 inch distance

I agree w Jessica: super witty and smiley = she likes you... and if there was any doubt, the close proximity she allows [encourages?] should clear that right up

[consentingadult]

I agree w Jessica: super witty and smiley = she likes you... and if there was any doubt, the close proximity she allows [encourages?] should clear that right up

well, there are two problems:

1. I already have a girl friend (as in: have sex with)
2. I'm probably 15 to 20 years older (while I'm writing this, I'm asking myself: so what? )

[Park]

I would suggest that you try to lower that distance.

[consentingadult]

I would suggest that you try to lower that distance.

*acts as if totally innocent*

[jessica129]

well, there are two problems:

1. I already have a girl friend (as in: have sex with)
2. I'm probably 15 to 20 years older (while I'm writing this, I'm asking myself: so what? )

lol, she's only someone to have sex with? I've been stuck in those before--by all means, if that's the case, move on to bigger and better things. Just my 2 cents. Dunno...if you're in a 'relationship' and someone else has caught your eye, why let them get away? You're not married.

Age doesn't matter at all to me. Didn't I just tell you guys about the 45-50 yr old I wanted to get together with?

[consentingadult]

Didn't I just tell you guys about the 45-50 yr old I wanted to get together with?

do you think it's type related? I'm asking since the story goes IEEs don't grow up until they reach 40

[consentingadult]

lol, she's only someone to have sex with? I've been stuck in those before--by all means, if that's the case, move on to bigger and better things. Just my 2 cents. Dunno...if you're in a 'relationship' and someone else has caught your eye, why let them get away? You're not married.

Age doesn't matter at all to me. Didn't I just tell you guys about the 45-50 yr old I wanted to get together with?

But seriously, I'm not really interested in pursuing this, I'll just stick with the fantasies. I must admit, however, that since I don't think I have any serious experience with SLIs, I'm darn curious about the dynamics.

[crazedrat]

if you don't pursue this you are a fool

[Topaz]

if you don't pursue this you are a fool

Don't listen to him. Do what you think is the right thing to do.

[consentingadult]

Don't listen to him. Do what you think is the right thing to do.

Now that I call good advice, thanks for understanding