ESTp trying to understand INFps (IEI-SLE)

[Ezra]

If an SLE was basically not making an attempt to understand you, would you like that more than if they were trying to connect in a meaningful way? If they came with more direct, "let's fuck" approach, would you approve of that more than if they attempted to get deep and personal with you psychologically? Or do you like this once in a while? You know what I mean, the guy that stands out because he attempts to understand you rather than just make passes at you. Or does this scenario simply bore you?

[Park]

[diljs]

Not an IEI, but no, I don't think they would unless they were really unhealthy to begin with.

[redbaron]

I think if the relationship were already established then the direct approach is great (with preferably as few words as possible). But if things aren't quite there yet, I'm not sure. There are plenty of ways to show you understand someone without verbalizing it. I can't explain it really. what I'm saying is, there has to be a bond there but it can be non-verbal. I dislike a lot of talking. (yes, I know I married an ESE and the too much talking is occasionally a problem although I do love him!)

[strrrng]

this is lol

I think you need a break from the forum, Ezra.

[Ezra]

Fuck off, Delta boy.

this is lol

I think you need a break from the forum, Ezra.

...

[discojoe]

If an SLE was basically not making an attempt to understand you, would you like that more than if they were trying to connect in a meaningful way? If they came with more direct, "let's fuck" approach, would you approve of that more than if they attempted to get deep and personal with you psychologically? Or do you like this once in a while? You know what I mean, the guy that stands out because he attempts to understand you rather than just make passes at you. Or does this scenario simply bore you?

INFps are attracted to people who like to argue (Se, duh). I've had two INFp girls ask me out after getting turned on by my arguing with coworkers about why God is fake and why killing babies is murder.

From my experience, they are the ones who try to initiate the "deep connection". All you need to do is flex that Se bon@r.

EDIT: This is a joke post, just to be clear. While the anecdote is technically accurate, I don't actually share the "attitude" toward it that I appear to express here.

[implied]

INFps are attracted to people who like to argue (Se, duh). I've had two INFp girls ask me out after getting turned on by my arguing with coworkers about why God is fake and why killing babies is murder.

From my experience, they are the ones who try to initiate the "deep connection". All you need to do is flex that Se bon@r.

you work?

[discojoe]

you work?

No. The story was made up.

[aka-kitsune]

INFps are attracted to people who like to argue (Se, duh).

This is a gross oversimplification. I don't "like to argue"; arguments are emotionally draining. However, I certainly appreciate when someone will stand their ground without resorting to being accusatory, offensive, defensive or constantly telling me I'm wrong, illogical, too intense, what-have-you.

What's really attractive is a person who won't run away at the first sign of difficult issues and emotional tumult. Willingness to understand and work through things because they VALUE me and not because everything's always gotta be hunky-dory pleasant (and of course, fake).

I've had two INFp girls ask me out after getting turned on by my arguing with coworkers about why God is fake and why killing babies is murder.

*snort*

[redbaron]

What's really attractive is a person who won't run away at the first sign of difficult issues and emotional tumult. Willingness to understand and work through things because they VALUE me and not because everything's always gotta be hunky-dory pleasant (and of course, fake).

yes.

[jessica129]

Maybe that's why IEI's are the only type I attract.

[betterthan]

Both Ezra.

I was crazy for my ESTp & he always used be like -your fucking hot, i want you, lets fuck-. Iunno, I thought that was hot, because I knew that he was being honest (instead of just like saying it to fuck around) & direct, getting donw to the crunch, as opposed to some guys who act like they don't want to at first and then they like jump on you...

But the reason I didn't get invlolved was cause I was having emotional issues, and I felt like I wasn't good enough for him while I had those, like he wouldn't understand them or care or have time for them.

So to sum it up. Both.

.

[redbaron]

Both Ezra.

I was crazy for my ESTp & he always used be like -your fucking hot, i want you, lets fuck-. Iunno, I thought that was hot, because I knew that he was being honest (instead of just like saying it to fuck around) & direct, getting donw to the crunch, as opposed to some guys who act like they don't want to at first and then they like jump on you...

But the reason I didn't get invlolved was cause I was having emotional issues, and I felt like I wasn't good enough for him while I had those, like he wouldn't understand them or care or have time for them.

So to sum it up. Both.

.

aww, that makes me sad that you're not with him anymore.

[Park]

Fuck off, Delta boy.

[Ezra]

Maybe that's why IEI's are the only type I attract.

Maybe it's because you're SLE.

Fuck off, Delta boy.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Ezra]

Re: the point brought up about arguing. . . (is that spelled right, it looks weird?)
Arguing isn't Se. And pointless arguing certainly isn't. When there's a purpose, and you straighten something out with someone, then it's good. I like that. But the constant picking and annoying petty bickering so many people do. . . how the hell is that Se?

A lot of people like the passion charge in conflict, regardless of the content.

I knew very well an ILE who LOVED arguing, it was his favorite pasttime. He'd start debates on politics, religion, whatever with anyone who would take the bait. It was weird though, he'd almost immediately agree with me and change his views to whatever mine were, which was disappointing. Not disappointing that he didn't want to argue for long with me, but disappointing that he was so easy to convince, made me think he wasn't exactly solid in his own views.

It's the rush of energy you get from arguing. That's why I do it, at least!

Often I end up agreeing with the other person too. They seem to think they're tryna convince me of something, and all I want to do is get a bit of a challenge on the go; heat people up a bit.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Ezra]

Feeeeeeeeeeeeee

Indeedo

[zenbrat]

I like a good debate for the exchange of ideas and displays of intellectual prowess. By far, ILE's are my all-time favorite debate partners - although, it can get ugly when the NT temperament resorts to verbal attack in order to win and control the argument - at any emotional cost to his/her opponent.

During the course of a debate, my goal is to determine if you really know your topic. Do you hold your position with personal conviction? Can you back up your assertions with examples from various disciplines? Have you really thought about it and drawn your own conclusions, or are you simply regurgitating someone elses ideas? Can you handle an opposing opinion without getting emotionally defensive? Are you aware of the difference between fact, empirical evidence and opinion? Can you present your arguments appropriately and convincingly?

It's just sport to me - I can win or lose. I just enjoy the mental exercise.

[implied]

Re: the point brought up about arguing. . . (is that spelled right, it looks weird?)
Arguing isn't Se. And pointless arguing certainly isn't. When there's a purpose, and you straighten something out with someone, then it's good. I like that. But the constant picking and annoying petty bickering so many people do. . . how the hell is that Se?

I knew very well an ILE who LOVED arguing, it was his favorite pasttime. He'd start debates on politics, religion, whatever with anyone who would take the bait. It was weird though, he'd almost immediately agree with me and change his views to whatever mine were, which was disappointing. Not disappointing that he didn't want to argue for long with me, but disappointing that he was so easy to convince, made me think he wasn't exactly solid in his own views.

maybe catering to a Te polr that doesn't enjoy arguing? i've sort of noticed with some ILEs the same tendency.

[discojoe]

Frenetic, "petty" debating can very easily be Se. It's not always the act itself that defines what's going on; the perceptions of the people involved are also important.

[Satan]

This is a gross oversimplification. I don't "like to argue"; arguments are emotionally draining. However, I certainly appreciate when someone will stand their ground without resorting to being accusatory, offensive, defensive or constantly telling me I'm wrong, illogical, too intense, what-have-you.

YOU. .. (FUCKING) .. I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP ... YOU'RE WRONG .. IRRATIONAL .. TOO... INTENSE .. YOU ARE NOTHING .. YOU ARE SCUM ... YOU'RE LIKE A WHORE ON THE STREET BUT WITH A MOUTH ...

Now, what were you saying?

What's really attractive is a person who won't run away at the first sign of difficult issues and emotional tumult. Willingness to understand and work through things because they VALUE me and not because everything's always gotta be hunky-dory pleasant (and of course, fake).

*snort*

*runs away* You're too much. You make no sense. I don't even know who you are.

I can't help myself. How could I help you?

[Gilly]

A woman who can hold her ground intellectually is incredibly attractive to me.

But the "let's fuck" approach would be great, too, although sometimes this catches me off guard and is a complete turn off. I appreciate it when a girl is direct, because sometimes that's just awkward for me, but honestly I kind of clam up if a girl is TOO forward.

[Wittmont]

A woman who can hold her ground intellectually is incredibly attractive to me.

But the "let's fuck" approach would be great, too, although sometimes this catches me off guard and is a complete turn off. I appreciate it when a girl is direct, because sometimes that's just awkward for me, but honestly I kind of clam up if a girl is TOO forward.

Yup, I really enjoy the mental connection. The other things can connect later

I can relate to the difficulty of the 'let's fuck' approach. If the timing is off it can be off putting, even if I am interested in the girl. But if the timing is right yay

[jessica129]

Let's make babies, Gilly.












Was that too forward?

[Wittmont]

Let's make babies, Gilly.












Was that too forward?

Gilly has left the building...






Wait, Gilly has been spotted on the horizon speeding towards Chicago

[Satan]

Let's make babies, Gilly.

Was that too forward?

Babies bring up marriage, commitment, responsibility, financial dependencies etc .. are you trying to scare him off, or have sex? Just say that you're horny, and that you're really into him. And then act as if it's a boo boo, and that you're not quite sure you should have leaked that ..