Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: IEIs/INFps and focusing on people's deficiencies

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    95
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default IEIs/INFps and focusing on people's deficiencies

    IEI reveals in the person not his capacities, but deficiencies, understands contradictions, which injure the soul of a person, his incompetence, unselfishness, negative emotions
    While the descriptions tend to show that an IEI quickly notice people's capabilties and personalities, as well as be very amicable towards others so much so that they feel comfortable airing their views around the IEI, does an IEI internally generally accepts/focuses on someone else's qualities or are they more focused on other people's deficiencies, or then subsequently lack of.

    This of course, seperate from the IEI tendency to idealize. Also, some descriptions seem to say that the IEI has difficulty accepting compliments, unless given in a very calm manner. Do the IEIs find that also, they are more prone (than other types) to focus on their own percieved flaws/deficiencies (and then perhaps trying to "be" without them, to impress, to present a false image) than to accept themselves as they are..are IEIs, as easily as other types able to accept and Believe in their own many positive qualities? What do you think?

  2. #2
    strrrng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    Ni-IEI 4w3 sx/so
    Posts
    8,781
    Mentioned
    40 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I personally think this has to do more with being a 4, hence how virtually every INFp is one. The 4 personality internalizes ideals to cultivate a fantasy self, due to feeling inherently flawed. They also tend to notice the negative characteristics of others, which perpetuates their idealization cycle.

    Of course, given the introspective, spiritual outlook of having NiFe in one's ego block, certain tendencies having to do with wistful fantasizing and self-analysis will manifest, but I think the 4 fixation is a more reliable depiction of the causes of such an attitude.

    Point being, the types will get conflated and overlap in many ways, so be hasty in attributing certain traits to a given type when they may be the result of something else that merely interacts with the type.
    4w3-5w6-8w7

  3. #3
    Haikus
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    10,060
    Mentioned
    223 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Okay fuck you! Everybody's connected. Yes, IEIs are guilty as charged about these things. But I could write 372489237 books on everybody else's weaknesses, however I'm too nice of a guy. So if you want an IEI to better himself and not be a tortured poet in society, here's how you *really* do it.

    Pleasantly surprise the IEI if you are tired of our Peter Pan complexes. It's the only way to *really* win us over. If you want to earn an IEI's respect (hey we can be in power over you in many situations you never know, we mesh very well with authority sometimes) this is probably the purest way of going about it.

    How to do this:

    Dress in loser-y but neat (smell nice please) clothes like you *want* to give a shit, but really don't. The college style is nice. A few IEIs are known to have good fashion sense. Try to be a lil different like you don't conform to everybody else in some way though. But be very subtle about this. Bitchy fat dykes that wear 'BE THE CHANGE' t-shirts make me want to puke on them.

    Don't sit there and seek pity for the IEI and boost us up too much because we're 'daydreamy.' We understand most people are just doing this because they feel sorry for us 'cause they don't understand us and just want to connect. But it's still annoying and wrong. Treat us diplomatically and politely, but like you would anybody else. Don't baby us unless we're clearly being hurt. If you want to defend us, wait until we've suffered quite a beating first. Then you can play the hero. This will make us have internal anal orgasms that last 5 minutes in our sleep as we'll romantically be drawn to you. But once more, we'll also then be motivated to *do* something about it, and seek you out practically. Even if our feelings aren't returned, it will still inspire us to be better, more well-rounded people of society.

    Duh?

    Don't say pat phrases like 'have more self-confidence' or 'you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.' We value ' we want to be hard on ourselves. Just kinda smile awkwardly at this but don't comment on it. Basically we want you to think a little deeper about the world and do brave stuff even if it violates fake, constructed social norms.

    Then we can't idealize you, as you'd have literally made our dreams come true. Or even if we still do, it won't matter because you'll then finally teach us the lesson you were trying to teach all along. You'll be so neutral and blah and average, our natural ideal heart won't pay you no never mind. Then when you do amazing stuff, we'll be able to realize the process and practicality of situations is very important. Despite thinking social status classes are pointless, IEIs are known to rise very quickly above them when given the chance. There's a very great chance you have an IEI boss somewhere in life keeping society up practically, not just pining over love.

  4. #4
    dinki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    UK
    TIM
    IEI!
    Posts
    623
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    No. I read that we have a hard time seeing the good in ourselves, we are really hard on ourselves. That holds true to me anyway.

  5. #5
    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    954
    Posts
    5,989
    Mentioned
    70 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I usually see where people are broken or cracked or vulnerable eventually, but I often see it as beautiful. In fact, I think I need to see it to fully see them. When it comes to me though, if I start seeing my own "breaks" as beautiful then I feel like I'm idealizing them and not facing the terrible truth or something. I tend to be much more critical of myself than of others.

  6. #6
    strrrng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    Ni-IEI 4w3 sx/so
    Posts
    8,781
    Mentioned
    40 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Loki
    I usually see where people are broken or cracked or vulnerable eventually, but I often see it as beautiful.
    Yes, very much so. The taints make it feel real, and help me relate.

    In fact, I think I need to see it to fully see them.
    Of course, just as it is what we need to fully see ourselves. Accepting the flaws gets us closer to perfection anyway.

    When it comes to me though, if I start seeing my own "breaks" as beautiful then I feel like I'm idealizing them and not facing the terrible truth or something.
    Right, if you're stuck on them, it's most likely for comfort. Every now and then isn't a problem, though.

    I tend to be much more critical of myself than of others.
    Same, although I will sometimes find myself pointing out flaws in others for the sake of it. At those times I know I need to look in the mirror without and facades or ideals. But most of the time I'm much more self-critical, pulled between idealizing and loathing lol.
    4w3-5w6-8w7

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •