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Thread: ESFj questions

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    Default ESFj questions

    I'm wondering about ESFjs, because I'm not sure if I know one or not.

    THe first person being my room mate.



    How would you expect an ESFj to act in a college environment? Both male and female would be helpful, if you are in the know about ESFjs. Are they more tidy, or how do the generally act?


    Any advice, comments, is appreciated.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Default Re: ESFj questions

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    THe first person being my room mate.
    poor guy

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    So...... no comments from anyone?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    If your roommate acts like this, he or she might be an ESFj ...

    ESFjs tend to be untimely profectionist, they might try really hard to do certain things at times that are hard for them. For example, say an ESFj desires to get into good physical shape and wants to start running every morning. Some ESFjs timing and lack of intuition is so bad, one might just try to get up at 3 am every morning and attempt to run 10 miles in the dead of winter. That is sort of an exaggeration and usually most ESFjs are not that bad, but they can come rather close to that extreme if they do not give up first.

    An easy way to piss off an ESFj is to move their personal stuff around on them without them knowing; they have this tendency to set stuff up a certain way and it irritates them when they can not find stuff. Sometimes they might even set their stuff up in ways that interefere with others and then get upset about it later when someone disturbes their set-up. They like familiarity in their surroundings.

    ESFjs also tend to feel real sympathetic for people who act like loners and even intentionally try very hard to be friends with people who seem to not have very many friends. They like to cheer people up and hate to see people acting down.

    Another thing about ESFjs is that many of them have what appears to be a fixed look, they hold their heads still and appear very focused on whatever they are looking at. It is rather easy to notice after you have seen and known a few ESFjs.

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    thank you. From that information I cannot make a real decision, though.


    As far as my room mate goes...... He's good about keeping the dorm neat, and often does things for other people - as in, driving them around. He's somewhat sensative, but covers this with being traditionally manly in the sense of sports and athletics. Physically active. Religious, too, to an extent. Republican, but reasonable about his views.

    I get along very comfortably with him. As in, we can keep to ourselves. maybe he is an Ixxx, though, but I'm not really sure to be honest. He seems more E.

    He is not good with computers, and somewhat...... doesn't get how things go mechanically. But he's good with people, more so. Caring somewhat.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    So, anyone have any ideas on where an ESFj would be in college? what sort of activities are they drawn to, etc.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    rmcnew's a good description, and from what you say he could be an ESFj.

    But ISFj or ISFp sound plausible too.

    I can't say anything about activities. I don't think this is helpful at all. Many types would be involved in sports, for instance.

    Let me ask you this.

    Is he moody - in the sense that he'll be very quiet for a long time (acting like what you'd call an introvert) but then snap out of it and crack silly jokes, sing, etc?

    How is his usual facial expression when he talks to you - mostly serious, or mostly very emotionally expressive?
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP

    As far as my room mate goes...... He's good about keeping the dorm neat, and often does things for other people - as in, driving them around.
    I hope people give him gas cash. Being host is often a thankless job. Personal time + gas cash + car payments and all. It's a nicety that is often taken advantage of.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Let me ask you this.

    Is he moody - in the sense that he'll be very quiet for a long time (acting like what you'd call an introvert) but then snap out of it and crack silly jokes, sing, etc?

    How is his usual facial expression when he talks to you - mostly serious, or mostly very emotionally expressive?
    He is calm, but when more pressing subjects come up, there is a certain emotionality in his voice. I don't know how "moody" he is by that definition. He just has a way of keeping to himself, that I find pleasing, as I expected a very obnoxious room mate. We agree fairly well on things, though he is obviously an irrational type in terms of his religious views. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    He helps people. A lot. A whole lot. More than I realized...
    Which, obviously, can be exploited, and I believe is such by other people, though I think he shrugs if off as "well, I'm in a position to help them so I must", which may or may not be justified through religious means, I don't know.


    Facial expressoins....... hmm...
    When he speaks with emotions, they are stronger, or more visible; animated. I don't know - I've been pretty distant thus far, so I've only had so many conversations/interactions with him that exceed the minimal interaction of information exchanges. (update: Yes, he is animated in facial expression. Obviously happy when speaking happily, and obviously 'down' when speaking about something that is not happy, etc.)

    He is somewhat absent minded about electronics, and leaving things on and such, and I've already mentioned some other things in this regard.

    Very considerate person in general.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    (pathetic)
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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    he is obviously an irrational type in terms of his religious views.
    That means nothing, neither in terms of being irrational in the socionics sense, ie a XXXp type, nor in being an XXFx type.

    The other information you provided suggests to me that he is more likely to be ESFj than ISFp or ISFj.

    But that is based on very little information.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    he is obviously an irrational type in terms of his religious views.
    That means nothing, neither in terms of being irrational in the socionics sense, ie a XXXp type, nor in being an XXFx type.

    The other information you provided suggests to me that he is more likely to be ESFj than ISFp or ISFj.

    But that is based on very little information.
    I see what you mean. Those were just the vibes I was getting from this person. Yes, it is limited.


    Thanks for all your input.

    goodnight all.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    he doesn't sound extraverted, and to be honest there's not much else that i can deduce from what you've said, other than that he is probably a feeling type. i'd say isfj.. you said you get along "comfortably' with the guy, which sounds about right for a super-ego relationship.
    lol

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    my esfj roomate was quite messy. he liked to go out to parties every once in awhile and stuff but the thing that i think was most noticeable about his interaction style within my dorm was how "involved" he tried to be. for example if another roomate and i were watching family guy on his computer or something and laughing he would come in and check out what was going on. we didn't really get along at first (neutral) but we were beginning to grow on one another when i had to leave. i don't think you would get along very well with an esfj right now UDP unless they were very patient because you still have a lot of the divisive mentality

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    ......
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    my esfj roomate was quite messy. he liked to go out to parties every once in awhile and stuff but the thing that i think was most noticeable about his interaction style within my dorm was how "involved" he tried to be. for example if another roomate and i were watching family guy on his computer or something and laughing he would come in and check out what was going on. we didn't really get along at first (neutral) but we were beginning to grow on one another when i had to leave. i don't think you would get along very well with an esfj right now UDP unless they were very patient because you still have a lot of the divisive mentality
    We actually had a (more real) conversation yesterday, which went fairly well.

    About being involved.. yeah, he is. He does things a lot, in regards to going to play ball with some other people and stuff. He's not messy, but that could be from his upbringing, perhaps. I don't know. I am uncertain as to whether he is EFSj or not.

    That comment about family guy and "checking to see what was going on" - yeah, that is more or less what he does. He wants to be 'involved' in something if I start laughing (see "awkward sharing moment" thread).

    Oh yes... things revealed in the conversation...
    A girl liked him once, and he had a really hard time getting her to understand that he didn't feel the same way, so he waited and waited until eventually he just blew up on her and told her off, rather meanly, when she kept trying to see him. And then afterwards he says he feels awkward whenever he see's her, because he wonders if he should apologize for being somewhat mean, but at the same time, doesn't want to invite her in to her interruptions again.

    He speaks with emotion, mostly. A little bit of a complainer. As far as impatience... perhaps so...

    I am uncertain yet as to whether his is I or E. I would lean on the E side. But all in all, this is all preliminary, so it's inconclusive.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    What about backstabing?

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    ..... what are you implying?



    As far as my roomie goes, he's a rather loyal person, I have observed.
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    Yeah, I'm pretty sure my room mate is an ESFj

    Which is cool, because I can see how that relationship would work out. He's very traditional, and likes to be involved, and if he were a woman I'd be able to get along very well.

    But he's not, and so, as room mates, we have a sort of quiet bond. It's nice. I can see his more sensative side on deeper conversations, but appreciate what his personality brings to the table


    ON a side note...
    I think a friend of his mistakes him for being gay, or rahter, hopes he was, because they have that sort of a relationship. But the friend doesn't really get it yet, and has selfesteem problems, so he's confused right now. ... complicated. (my room mate is not gay, he's just
    senstaive, emotional, and considerate(I kinda wonderd about him for a while myself, but I know the truth). He's a very good ESFj, and it really makes me want to find a female one





    "case closed"
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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    (my room mate is not gay, he's just
    senstaive, emotional, and considerate(I kinda wonderd about him for a while myself, but I know the truth).
    yeah they give that impression sometimes. some of them become rough and tough to try and hide it and become like the ultimate cool dude in the process.

  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    So, anyone have any ideas on where an ESFj would be in college? what sort of activities are they drawn to, etc.
    The ESFj I dated had 3 jobs. She was a hospice at a nursing home. She worked as an intern at a small company - she researched prospective clients. And she bar tended for weddings on the weekend. I don't know how she handled it. Now she does 2 of the above and works at a small independent coffee house. That's the perfect job for her (right now) if you ask me. She can talk with all the customers, and she stays active all the time.

    ESFjs get extremely excited at the drop of a hat. If you thought a weeked was just okay. The ESFj might think it was amazing. Sometimes they might even joke about how excited the get.

    The girl I dated did do a few intramurals. I think most of the activities they do are things they're friends asked them to participate in.
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    (my room mate is not gay, he's just
    senstaive, emotional, and considerate(I kinda wonderd about him for a while myself, but I know the truth).
    yeah they give that impression sometimes. some of them become rough and tough to try and hide it and become like the ultimate cool dude in the process.
    The whole being sensitive thing is really a gender role. Its kinda sad that guys are considered gay because they can relate to peoples feelings. I have heard people thinking an ENFp was gay, too. On the other end of the spectrum, I hear girl T(hinker)s say they think they should have been born a male because they don't have sympathy for other people. The only reason being the gender role that females are sympathetic, emotional figures. Oh yes, and girls... you must like the color pink, too!
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

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    My mom's an ESFj. I can emphathize with the trying to be friends with the loner thing. Regardless if the loner wants it or not. She can be smothering sometimes.

    Negatives (at least to me):
    She's high strung; can be smothering sometimes; LOVES the telephone; dislikes being alone; things like "no" go in one ear and out the other; extremely sensitive to criticism; will go on and on to you about people you don't know; she will let the weirdest things slide but will go on and on about how dad bought the wrong sized bananas for a year like he committed this major crime; no big interest in academics; can try to use guilt to manipulate people;

    Positives:
    Impulsive at times; encouraged creativity in her children; gave us freedom (sometimes too much); very protective of her children; she knows EVERYONE it seems; she was a good nurturing mom for the most part; she is fun to be around; she is very accepting of everyone regardless of cultural, racial or religous background. I remember coming home one day and finding her serving tea to mennonites who just moved to the neighbourhood.

    I find you can tell them by looking for someone who is really really nice that you like but who, when in an extended conversation, your mind starts to drift and you start looking at the clock wondering when can I wrap this up.
    Polly
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlendieOfIndie
    The ESFj I dated had 3 jobs. She was a hospice at a nursing home. She worked as an intern at a small company - she researched prospective clients. And she bar tended for weddings on the weekend.
    I hate it when they do this to themselves the role function thing. It takes a lot longer for me to be able to dualize them so they can calm the hell down.

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    You know what?


    I'm pretty sure.......

    that my grandfather is an INTj
    and my grandmother is ESFj

    .....


    ................ I really think they are.


    wow...
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  26. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    You know what?


    I'm pretty sure.......

    that my grandfather is an INTj
    and my grandmother is ESFj

    .....


    ................ I really think they are.


    wow...
    ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I'm totally perplexxed. I don't think I would ever have guesed that. :wink:
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

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    Forgive me for actually showing awe


    I've been considering the idea for a while, but I saw them again recently and Im almost 100% sure of it now. And, thinking back on all the interactions I've seen between those two over the years... it is just interesting for me to see how socionics plays a role

    Besides, I don't know many INTjs or ESFjs, and certainly not as a couple.


    But I can accept INTj humor
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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