INFj in love from socionics.org

[Simon Ssmall]

As promised, enjoy my fellow deltas. Please feel free to correct mistakes or rephrase the sentences for them to make more sense. If you did not understand some sentences, please say so so I could provide with a more clear translation.

++added: see also Duality observations


INFJ in LOVE: "Heart, mind and soul"

GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS: Driven by a rich imagination and a deep interest in others, they are the source of endless inspiration and joy for those they bump into. Their inner life is their driving force while a most probable weakness is their slowness with which they share their inner wealth. However, this weakness is paid back with sincerity and care for the spouse and children.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Kind-hearted and caring. They leave a sense of softness. They openly show their interest in others and the desire to be accepted and helpful in any situation. Although INFJ are very quiet, people like their company and they eagerly get back to them.

DIALOGUE: They best express themselves in writing. They have a talent for clear, convincing and impressive speech writing, always finding the right words. However this ability depends on if they have sufficient time for reflection. Otherwise they are going to be slow in expressing themselves.

SEX and CLOSENESS: This is a merge of heart, mind and soul. This is a devotion for significant other so two would become one. From INFJ point of view closeness constitutes itself in terms of sacrificing oneself for the needs of the loved one. Their inner inspiration achieves its completeness in actions, full of love and care, which carry a physical and tangible character.

FINANCE: Attention to details, precision and accuracy are their heavy cross (big weakness they have to bear with). They find it hard to find anything
inspirational in such a fussy thing as finance. As a result they usualy take bad care of finances. Quite often, being aware of their weakness, they can be conservative and cautious in money matters.

CONFLICTS: The word conflict itself and what it means can give INFJ the horrors. It seems as if they would rather face death itself than anything that
resembles a conflict. It contradicts to their nature and they are convinced that nothing good can come out of it. However when they inevitably need to face a conflict they do it unwillingly and with a heavy heart.

OBLIGATIONS: This is something deep, constant, eternal and ultimately the realisation of all the purposes and meaning in life. They are careful with
obligating themselves but if that happened there is no turning back. Due to the fact that INFJ's themselves are so decisive in carrying out their obligations they find it hard to forgive to their partners who carry out their obligations less than 110 per cent. They set high expectations towards himself and partners in life, demanding full devotion.

PARENTING: For an INFJ children is a realisation of meaning in life. Parental duty can second only to a spouse and God. For them it is an expression of the deepest meaning of human life. They channel their inspiration towards children. And children remember them as patient, gentle, kind-hearted and inspirational parents.

MARRIAGE: They feel a serious commitment to deepening and development of relations, so they see marriage as vital. INFJ convert their thoughts and vision towards this goal, which, if achieved, becomes a measure of achievement, reflecting energy invested into relationships.

RELATIONSHIP ENDING: Like other feeling types, INFJ's hold on to relationships long after it has ended, reflecting on how the situation could be changed. The feeling of guilt can motivate them to hold on to it, when it would be better for everyone to part ways. After shaking the feeling of guilt and accepting defeat, INFJ evaluate the relationship and as many other Judging types leave them behind and move on to new relationships.

[munenori2]

Thanks a lot, Ssmall. It's sweet that you can pull this kind of thing off.

[betterthandead]

I know two INFJs who were in LTR/marriage.

One was an INFJ male with an ENTJ female. Dated 7 years. Dropped relationship after ENTJ started demanding marriage/children.

Another was an INFJ female married to an INTP. Dated 5 years, married for 3 years. Marriage looks 50/50, INFJ does most of the work.

I think NFJs work well with a strong thinker type who can think concrete and direct practical action with clear objectives so they can work alongside those plans. They also really enjoy long term stability because it provides them a base of operations so they can work out not only emphatically but also artistically with others and themselves. INFJ males have it the worst.

[DirectorAbbie]

No wonder I like INFjs so much! They're loyal, caring, fun people!

[Minde]

You translated this from Russian, Ssmall?


And just in case anybody finds it useful or interesting, the following I relate to a lot:

DIALOGUE: They best express themselves in writing. They have a talent for clear, convincing and impressive speech writing, always finding the right words. However this ability depends on if they have sufficient time for reflection. Otherwise they are going to be slow in expressing themselves.

[Simon Ssmall]

You translated this from Russian, Ssmall?


And just in case anybody finds it useful or interesting, the following I relate to a lot:

Yes it is translated from russian, from socionics.org

[Christy B]

Ssmall. You kick ass! Thank you.

[Christy B]

You translated this from Russian, Ssmall?


And just in case anybody finds it useful or interesting, the following I relate to a lot:

Yeah Minde, that is exactly what stuck out for me too.

[Minde]

Thank you very much, Ssmall. You are a treasure. Such translations as these - particularly since they come from an English-proficient person and not a machine - are valuable to us who can't understand Russian. Please, as you have time, keep translating other materials.

[consentingadult]

As promised, enjoy my fellow deltas. Please feel free to correct mistakes or rephrase the sentences for them to make more sense. If you did not understand some sentences, please say so so I could provide with a more clear translation....

Every time I read stuff on EIIs, I think to myself how amazing it is that they share their ego functions with IEEs, yet at the same time being so different. To me, they're sort of an enigma and of all Deltas, I understand them the least.

[JuJu]

To me, they're sort of an enigma and of all Deltas, I understand them the least.

I agree... They're the only Delta type I can't readily ID. (I often confuse them with SEIs, as I did in the thread about Maury, who is probably SEI.)

[Topaz]

I usually can tell them fairly early on if I hang out with them. They move somewhat slowly and diliberately. When they get used to you they may demonstrate animated behavior in spurts. Their faces and sometimes bodies are long and willowy. Their voices often soft and their coloring is often soft and muted as if a misty fog settled on their skin. Something about them is ethereal, like they came from another place/time/dimension. Look for someone who look like they just escaped from a monastery.

On the other hand they can be big boned, plump, friendly folks that like to observe. They seem like someones parents regardless of whether they have kids or not .

[redbaron]

I agree... They're the only Delta type I can't readily ID. (I often confuse them with SEIs, as I did in the thread about Maury, who is probably SEI.)

I would guess that you can tell the difference by watching the look in their eyes. the SEI is going to look very down to earth, will look directly at you when speaking. The EII will appear a bit more dreamy, will probably look away for some part of the conversation. EIIs don't use Fe like SEIs either. If they don't know you, they can appear quite cold. SEIs are more likely to laugh with a stranger.

[Beautiful sky]

I would guess that you can tell the difference by watching the look in their eyes. the SEI is going to look very down to earth, will look directly at you when speaking. The EII will appear a bit more dreamy, will probably look away for some part of the conversation. EIIs don't use Fe like SEIs either. If they don't know you, they can appear quite cold. SEIs are more likely to laugh with a stranger.

Yes, we do appear cold, shy, and distant from unfamiliar people. I'm working on this about me and because it's a part of evolution, to realize one's self and to get past some of our "flaws" or obvious things about our personality/character that no longer make sense for their existence. The coldness part has to do with judging and differentiation of relations, to put everyone in their place of the levels (Ti role) of relations or our relations to them.

[necrosebud]

I wouldn't want someone to feel obligated anyway, beyond the essential I mean - loyalty, fidelity and all that. That I trust he wouldn't even be interested in cheating in any way, shape or form.

But within those limits, we can be flexible. I don't want someone to feel obligated, especially if they are going to take small obligations in a more rigid manner, that they have to fulfill it 100%.

And yes, sometimes people lose interest. At that point I think I cannot seriously expect fidelity from him and we would have to part ways.

[14Raptor19]

Love is defined by courage, nobility, exaltation, force, character, shine, spark, zap, the whole entanglement of bliss and freedom meeting matrimony and the sky!!