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Thread: ENFp crisis

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    Default ENFp crisis

    Ok, this is a long thread.

    I was an ENFP as a child. I loved acting, drawing, building huge Lego cities, etc. I was a very creative child (I won countless drawing competitions as well as the design competition in Legoland).

    Anyhow, my stupid parents dragged me from a European country where I had spent my childhood to live 5 years in MEXICO. Yes, they even decided to put me in the smallest state school possible, where no one had ever heard of a continent called Europe. I had a deep crisis because as you may know, ENFP people want to be liked, and here was I defying authority in a third world country. This landed me massive problems, and I almost committed suicide because I wanted to return to hippie Denmark.
    Anyhow, my parents dragged me back to school, and I changed personality forever. As a survival mechanism I became a straight A student. I then went onto winning several academic decathlon competitions in Mexico, which led me to visit former President Fox.
    Anyhow, I returned to Europe after 5 years. I was a completely different person. Sharp, analytical, non-creative.
    I attended an international school to finish my high school, because I simply did not fit in in Europe anymore (I got so tanned, and my hair went dark, so the Danes now think I am a foreigner. I have been subjected to racist remarks countless times). I graduated top of my year.
    I am now at Oxford (England) studying chemistry. Only now do I realise that I have been forced to change from an ENFP personality to an INFP personality. I am in a deep crisis, as to whether I should drop out and pursue another career (I would like to be a comic book artist, or maybe an architect).
    Outside university term, I live in a scandinavian country. I am short, "ugly" and "foreign-looking) in terms of Scandinavian standards (everyone here is tall, blonde, strongly built), and people do not pay attention to me. As you may know, ENFP love attention (which I had as a kid) but now I seek refuge because I am never the centre of attention. I even have trouble finding summer jobs because employers doubt that I am Danish (ironically, I have an A in Danish literature at high school level).

    What to do? As an ENFP by nature I am not particularly gifted at exact sciences like chemistry, and I do not think I would make a great scientist.

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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Go for your dreams regardless of your type.

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    I am sorry if this story sounds outlandish, or that I come across as a spoiled brat. I am now 20 and about to enter second year at university.
    All what has been said in this thread is nothing but the truth. My life is really messed up, I know.

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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    I don't see anything messed up with you. Really. If you want to do something then go for it, will you do it now or later does not matter. Take your time and do it when you feel like it. I wanted to drop my studies at the end of third year, i didn't , i think that was a good decision even if i don't plan to stay in IT field at the future. One way or another the diploma in certain field does not prevent from doing what you want or having totally unrelated job, if anything it broadens your horizons. But if you really dislike what you are studying i don't think there is really a point in it? Your 20, you have a long life full of possibilities, mistakes and whatever there is. I have no idea what would happen if you would suddenly change everything but when I did everything went out GREAT, as soon as I started going for my dreams everything played out even better than I have ever imagined. Be it baking buns or drawing you better of doing something you enjoy as you will spend lots of your life working.
    As for center of attention thing I don't think all Danish people are that mistrustful. If they are then your better of elsewhere as that sounds like a country id never want to be in. There lots of countries/universities and its really easy to go around places, get stipendiums and whatnot for whatever you want if you really set your mind on it and that is not going anywhere, you can do that now, you can do it next year, you can do it when your 40.

    Whatever you choose, your not screwed up, your fine and I wish you luck with whatever/wherever/with whomever you'll set your mind on.

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    calenwen's Avatar
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    If you didn't pursue your dreams, wouldn't you always regret it?
    Last edited by calenwen; 08-28-2008 at 04:57 PM.
    Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
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    hanstausen1 it sounds like you not only changed type but changed races as well LOL! Denmark doesnt sound like such a great place the way you describe
    it. I hope its a squewd perspective and not a reality though because I'd like to visit there some day. You must post of picture of yourself now that youve said so much. We want to see what a Danish/Spanish person looks like
    That notwithstanding, I like Ssmalls advice. You are young. Nothing is written in stone. Dont get caught up in defining yourself by what you do or have or even how you look. There are many people out there that would be facinated by your experiences and abilities. Youve already broadened yourself by travel which for some is unheard of. I personally have never lived in a foriegn country but would like to some day.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    What does Joseph Campbell say?

    "Follow your bliss."

    If cheesy sounding, I've always found it good advice--when I've done it, I've always found my activities rewarding, (not to say that some haven't been disappointing--but always deep-down satisfying.)

    For awhile, (awhile back now, 2000,) I too went to school in the same place as you--and ultimately left b/c I wanted to do/study other things... Personally, in retrospect, it was a very good decision--but I'm hesitant to give advice, as what was good for me might not be good for you. You know?

    That said, this can't hurt: think about what you hope to accomplish in your life, and then, if poss, take a step in that direction... Doing this has always helped me. It's reassuring when you know you're on the right track.

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Wow. My dad is an ENFp, and I know he could never be any good as a scientist. (He's an art teacher.) If you enjoy science, go for it. But you'll probably blow yourself up because the chemicals looked really neat together.

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    yes, I love the PbI2, i think it turns yellow.
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    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    first of all I would say read Ssmall's post very carefully and give it thought.

    secondly, i dont see you as messed up.

    Thirdly, be very careful of judging yourself, the causes, and the results of your 'personality repression'. Socionics might not be the answer for what you are looking for. And for what problems you feel and/or think are facing, remember check your motivations for changing your fields. It's natural to think at this age because you might not be good at A, and might never be good at at it, and might be naturally good at B, so leave A and try B. It's sort of logical and often times right. But not necessarily. And in your case, because your already describing inner confusion, it seemingly might also be that you have an inner hope that, by changing your field, you might resolve the 'personality conflict' or simply that your moving away from the External stress which aggravates it. This may or may not be true. Ultimately its rather like a patch-work solution (if thats what your doing) because you cannot control your external environment or have ideal conditions to be at your personal healthy best. Just so you know, it doesn't seem to be *exactly* the result of the repression you describe, going by socionics theory

    It's easy to look at that the grass is greener. It's a very good sign that your recognizing that a problem exists and are open to airing it and getting suggestions.

    So you know, when I was 20, I was diagnosed as bipolar. Partly because I thought I was bipolar. I stayed in my field, although I also took an outside degree because i was facing a somewhat..analogous..dilemma like yours. My best advice to you is to accept that your not messed up badly, and at the same time discuss this with a counselor or a psychologist, simply because you have self-identity issues. These naturally occur between 18-22 - urs are greater because of how you see your past - and its important that you do successfully resolve it, by coming to terms with yourself. So your on the right direction for helping yourself. Once you can get in terms with that - then if its the right decision *then* GO FOR what you like, bcoz itll be never too late..

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    Cheers people,
    I will consider my options carefully. It is nice to know that there are people who care :-)
    H.

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    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Wow. My dad is an ENFp, and I know he could never be any good as a scientist. (He's an art teacher.) If you enjoy science, go for it. But you'll probably blow yourself up because the chemicals looked really neat together.
    AWSOME! Im working on my degree in fine arts right now in hopes of being an art teacher. I hope I can find a job when Im done. I only have a year left.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

  14. #14
    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Wow. My dad is an ENFp, and I know he could never be any good as a scientist. (He's an art teacher.) If you enjoy science, go for it. But you'll probably blow yourself up because the chemicals looked really neat together.
    I don't think you need to be a scientist if you get a chemistry degree, theres lots of variations and jobs in any field. For example, i finished IT. Working as a programmer was boring and not fun, the job itself that is, i had my in the workplace but its unrelated. Then i tried working as a project manager in a small company, it sucked, even worse i think. It was cool i had to talk with lots of different people but i can't put pressure on people and keeping shedules is not my thing for sure. But then I found a perfect job, I work now as a an IT consultant, which consists of tutoring, calming people down, getting along with business people, some programming but not much and lots of travels. So even if i though IT is not my thing i went till the end and actually made the best possible case out of what i had. Now i have lots of options (in terms of money) and I can easily move on to do whatever i like to do. I have lots of confidence now in myself, which i was lacking for a long long time. Im sure such time will come for you when you will find your place.

    The fact your an ENFP does not prevent you from any field, you just have to adjust yourself which might not always be that easy but for sure more rewarding when you find a place where you feel you belong. If you enjoy what you study its fine, you don't have to be a scientist., you can find a job in the field which would make use of your strong traits. If you don't enjoy what you study then it would be good to answer yourself "why?". Sometimes people want to change things just for the sake of change (I do that very often) but it's not always the best course of action. And your surely not making any decision which will impact your life in the long run, things like that play out themselves in the end if your open for change.
    Last edited by Simon Ssmall; 08-29-2008 at 09:58 AM.

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