Type this person

[Slacker]

1. Never cooks. Ever. Always goes out to eat, and doesn't even have snack food around. Just caffeine free diet Coke and Propel fitness water. However, she just spent a ton of money re-doing her kitchen, including getting top-of-the-line appliances she'll never use. If you go out to eat with her she'll comment on all your food and whether or not it is healthy. She'll generally focus on the bad.

2. Has lots of pets. Like maybe 6. Spends a fortune taking care of sickly animals and doesn't have them put to sleep even when they seem to be suffering and cant' be helped.

3. Is very judgmental, or at least seems that way to me. Judges people who don't live how she does and is open about it. Not just stuff like if someone is gay (which she is also judgmental about) but stuff that most people wouldn't care about, like if my husband has two light beers and then drives, or if he drinks pop with caffeine in it. I don't think my husband gets particularly upset about this - he just seems to ignore her.

4. She was making nasty comments about some actress or something with short hair and how it made her look like a lesbian. My husband pointed out that she has short hair too. She wouldn't talk to him for about two months.

5. They have a swimming pool they let us use when we want, and if we're there she seems to feel like she has to hang out with us the whole time, or maybe she wants to. But she never really talks to us much.

6. I don't really like her but I think she likes me, or at least thinks I'm a "good person" by her narrow definition. She does like my daughter but she's very cold with her. It doesn't bother my daughter, who is quite happy to hang out with her regardless. My daughter loves her dogs and her swimming pool and would spend every minute over there.

7. This person is not a relative. We really just know her through her husband, whom I believe is ESTj. They are not happily married. The ESTj said he'd divorce her but it would be too expensive so he doesn't bother.

8. She has a grown daughter who HAS to be an ISTp. She is very fond of her daughter, but of course that might not be type related. She isn't fond of my ISTp husband after all, although that might not be type related either - she disapproves of him for some reason or another. Probably the "two light beers and drives" thing. She goes on and on about how alike the ESTj and ISTp are, and how close they've always been. They have no other chlidren, but based on some things she's said since I've gotten pregnant, I don't think that's by choice.

9. I don't know why I numbered this list.

[Park]

ENTj? Or maybe even ISFj.

[consentingadult]

ISFj?

You numbered the list because according to the IEE domain on the wiki, IEEs like to bring structure into their stories. I don't know if this is true, but I love headers and bulleted and numbered lists. I wonder if it's Te related.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

ISFj?

You numbered the list because according to the IEE domain on the wiki, IEEs like to bring structure into their stories. I don't know if this is true, but I love headers and bulleted and numbered lists. I wonder if it's Te related.

I've been known to organize things myself.

I was thinking ISFj, too, fwiw.

[cracka]

definitely someone you don't like it...lol, so how could one really get a good idea of a person only hearing the negatives?
Oh wait, it's socionics... I'm sure people will just start saying whatever type they don't like and it'll fit... nevermind...hahaha.

[Slacker]

definitely someone you don't like it...lol, so how could one really get a good idea of a person only hearing the negatives?
Oh wait, it's socionics... I'm sure people will just start saying whatever type they don't like and it'll fit... nevermind...hahaha.

Yes, that is a danger. I was going to specify that I don't think she's Beta but I didn't want to assume she wasn't Beta. LOL.

And I tried to think of nice things to say about her but I couldn't think of any.

[jessica129]

Blech, she sounds awful.

4. She was making nasty comments about some actress or something with short hair and how it made her look like a lesbian. My husband pointed out that she has short hair too. She wouldn't talk to him for about two months.

lol

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Slacker]

I was for the most part torn between ISFj and ISTj. So I'm glad to have some Gamma input. I need more Beta input. I don't think she's a healthy example of whatever type she is so that might make it trickier too. Being unhappily married for a long period of time is hard on people and can make them act differently than they would otherwise. But the specific way she's behaving, while made worse due to unhappiness, is probably type related IMO.

[Mediator Kam]

I know an ISFj like this, not my mom though.

[Logos]

My impression while reading the list was ESI. This may make me sound like a copy-cat, but that was what I saw in the list. I know of no LSI who is remotely like this.

[dbmmama]

my mom?

[Park]

my mom?

What type was she?

[dbmmama]

What type was she?

is...idk yet. it's too hard for me to type others, especially ones i'm close to until i understand my own type...

[Park]

is...idk yet. it's too hard for me to type others, especially ones i'm close to until i understand my own type...

yeah... i understand

[Wittmont]

Yeah sounds very ESI in poor shape .

[dbmmama]

What type was she?

SLE or SEE were my guesses for my mom. definitely Se. but since i don't quite "get" the difference between Fi and Fe irl yet, i can't say which she has. but, Se is for sure with her.

i also thought LIE or ESI. she has a high need for "belonging." and my mom is the same with her pets as this lady. and more like her.

[Expat]

I don't want to type her because she seems to be essentially a very unhappy person who lives a life with no meaning.

I will say, though, that those who think that her characteristics point to ESI have an erroneous understanding of the type imo.

I do have an idea of her type. However, I decline to say it because then I will get what I see as, I am sorry to say, infantile remarks of the sort "no! OMG she can't be of my type! You're only saying that because you hate that type/quadra/Etc etc".

She's unhappy and miserable. I think that different types get unhappy and miserable and that is manifested in different kinds of behavior; the type is still visible through it, though, but that is not to mean that everyone of that type will be like that.

[ScarlettLux]

I don't want to type her because she seems to be essentially a very unhappy person who lives a life with no meaning.

I will say, though, that those who think that her characteristics point to ESI have an erroneous understanding of the type imo.

I do have an idea of her type. However, I decline to say it because then I will get what I see as, I am sorry to say, infantile remarks of the sort "no! OMG she can't be of my type! You're only saying that because you hate that type/quadra/Etc etc".

She's unhappy and miserable. I think that different types get unhappy and miserable and that is manifested in different kinds of behavior; the type is still visible through it, though, but that is not to mean that everyone of that type will be like that.

Oh Expat, you can't do that! I'm so curious now... honestly, I have a feeling she is EIE...

[Mea]

Oh Expat, you can't do that! I'm so curious now... honestly, I have a feeling she is EIE...

she doesn't sound very EIE at all.
unhealthy EIEs don't quite behave like that IME

[Mariano Rajoy]

I know what will settle this matter once and for all.

Post a pic for some V.I.

[Slacker]

I know what will settle this matter once and for all.

Post a pic for some V.I.

Well, I don't have a picture of her, and she wouldn't want me to post one anyway. Sorry, no VI.

[Slacker]

she doesn't sound very EIE at all.
unhealthy EIEs don't quite behave like that IME

I can't imagine her being any kind of extravert, and I can't imagine her having strong and valued Fe either, honestly.

Who knows. She's very difficult to type, which is why I brought it here.

[marooned]

2. Has lots of pets. Like maybe 6. Spends a fortune taking care of sickly animals and doesn't have them put to sleep even when they seem to be suffering and cant' be helped.

Do you have an idea of why she does this? Is she oblivious to their suffering? Does she do it so she can "look good" because she "goes out of her way to care for them"?

I was also wondering if the pattern of focusing on the negative things about other people and pointing them out like that when she does some of them herself... if that's type-related. Because I mean if you're going to say criticize someone for having short hair when you have short hair... wouldn't it occur to you before you said that...? Like the thought of "oh if I say that then probably someone will point out that I have short hair as well, so maybe I'll criticize something else instead." I mean to consistently do that sort of thing, it seems like it might mean something.

[Slacker]

Do you have an idea of why she does this? Is she oblivious to their suffering? Does she do it so she can "look good" because she "goes out of her way to care for them"?

I was also wondering if the pattern of focusing on the negative things about other people and pointing them out like that when she does some of them herself... if that's type-related. Because I mean if you're going to say criticize someone for having short hair when you have short hair... wouldn't it occur to you before you said that...? Like the thought of "oh if I say that then probably someone will point out that I have short hair as well, so maybe I'll criticize something else instead." I mean to consistently do that sort of thing, it seems like it might mean something.

I think she truly cares for these animals and is oblivious to their suffering, at least in a way. She'll talk about how sick a dog is and how he can't get better but how she isn't ready to say goodbye to him. I think she just believes it's right to prolong life as long as possible no matter what. Maybe she's hoping for a miracle?

As for the second part, I thought that might be due to Ne PoLR. That kind of thing is where I got the type ideas. Plus she just strikes me has having an Ij temperment but I'm not set on that strongly enough that my mind couldn't be changed either. I'd have a hard time believing she was an extravert though. But as for the short hair comment, you're right, there could always be a non-Socionics reason for it.

[marooned]

I think she truly cares for these animals and is oblivious to their suffering, at least in a way. She'll talk about how sick a dog is and how he can't get better but how she isn't ready to say goodbye to him. I think she just believes it's right to prolong life as long as possible no matter what. Maybe she's hoping for a miracle?

This reminds me of something.

When I was a child, our cat got sick, really sick. And was probably going to die. She stopped eating and started laying around. Whenever I was home I would spend all of my time with her and try to get her to eat or drink water sometimes, or talk to her, or just sit there while she slept. This one day I had this horrible feeling when I left school, and my mom was picking me up, and as soon as I saw her I said "you had her put to sleep didn't you." I was upset because I wasn't able to say goodbye to her and because I believed there was still a chance that she could get better - I wasn't ready to "give up on her."

My mom (ESE) said that she couldn't allow her to suffer anymore. My mom was tuned in to how much she was suffering and how much pain she must be in... I wasn't oblivious to this... but I was focused on the idea of "fighting to live" or "the will to live" or some belief that there was still a chance, that it could still be okay, that if she would just start eating and fight it then she'd get better again. But I was focused on this because of my emotional attachment to her... because I didn't want her to die... and though I loved her a lot, maybe it was because I "wasn't ready to say good bye."

In retrospect, I think my mom was right. I mean, I had thought that we were probably going to have to put her to sleep... but I wanted to wait just a little while longer... and "give her a little more time" or "give her a chance." But she had stopped eating... I saw it as giving up... and I think part of me wanted to "convince her" not to give up.

[Slacker]

This reminds me of something.

When I was a child, our cat got sick, really sick. And was probably going to die. She stopped eating and started laying around. Whenever I was home I would spend all of my time with her and try to get her to eat or drink water sometimes, or talk to her, or just sit there while she slept. This one day I had this horrible feeling when I left school, and my mom was picking me up, and as soon as I saw her I said "you had her put to sleep didn't you." I was upset because I wasn't able to say goodbye to her and because I believed there was still a chance that she could get better - I wasn't ready to "give up on her."

My mom (ESE) said that she couldn't allow her to suffer anymore. My mom was tuned in to how much she was suffering and how much pain she must be in... I wasn't oblivious to this... but I was focused on the idea of "fighting to live" or "the will to live" or some belief that there was still a chance, that it could still be okay, that if she would just start eating and fight it then she'd get better again. But I was focused on this because of my emotional attachment to her... because I didn't want her to die... and though I loved her a lot, maybe it was because I "wasn't ready to say good bye."

In retrospect, I think my mom was right. I mean, I had thought that we were probably going to have to put her to sleep... but I wanted to wait just a little while longer... and "give her a little more time" or "give her a chance." But she had stopped eating... I saw it as giving up... and I think part of me wanted to "convince her" not to give up.

Yeah I think that's pretty much how she is with the animals.

[snegledmaca]

Fe dominant. She seems as if she desperately needs proper Ti dominance in her life. Her Fe seems absolutly misguided, blowing things out of proportion over some silly, self imposed, Ti notions.

[dbmmama]

This reminds me of something.

When I was a child, our cat got sick, really sick. And was probably going to die. She stopped eating and started laying around. Whenever I was home I would spend all of my time with her and try to get her to eat or drink water sometimes, or talk to her, or just sit there while she slept. This one day I had this horrible feeling when I left school, and my mom was picking me up, and as soon as I saw her I said "you had her put to sleep didn't you." I was upset because I wasn't able to say goodbye to her and because I believed there was still a chance that she could get better - I wasn't ready to "give up on her."

My mom (ESE) said that she couldn't allow her to suffer anymore. My mom was tuned in to how much she was suffering and how much pain she must be in... I wasn't oblivious to this... but I was focused on the idea of "fighting to live" or "the will to live" or some belief that there was still a chance, that it could still be okay, that if she would just start eating and fight it then she'd get better again. But I was focused on this because of my emotional attachment to her... because I didn't want her to die... and though I loved her a lot, maybe it was because I "wasn't ready to say good bye."

In retrospect, I think my mom was right. I mean, I had thought that we were probably going to have to put her to sleep... but I wanted to wait just a little while longer... and "give her a little more time" or "give her a chance." But she had stopped eating... I saw it as giving up... and I think part of me wanted to "convince her" not to give up.

wow, my hubby does that same thing. he did it with our elderly cat that we finally had to put down a few months back....

[dbmmama]

I don't want to type her because she seems to be essentially a very unhappy person who lives a life with no meaning.

I will say, though, that those who think that her characteristics point to ESI have an erroneous understanding of the type imo.

I do have an idea of her type. However, I decline to say it because then I will get what I see as, I am sorry to say, infantile remarks of the sort "no! OMG she can't be of my type! You're only saying that because you hate that type/quadra/Etc etc".

She's unhappy and miserable. I think that different types get unhappy and miserable and that is manifested in different kinds of behavior; the type is still visible through it, though, but that is not to mean that everyone of that type will be like that.

i'd really like to hear your opinion as well. i'm open... (it would help me with my mom)

[Slacker]

Expat - would you at least PM me what type you think she is. I understand wanting to avoid drama but I'm having a lot of trouble settling on a type for her. I'll think one type, and then later I'll think another type. I've thought INTj, INTp, ISFj, ISTj, INFp. I'm grasping at straws. Lately she's seemed like maybe she's had an Ne PoLR, which has pointed me toward ISFj and ISTj, but as said above what's made me feel that way could have non-Socionic reasons. And it is somewhat contradicted by her liking me.

[dbmmama]

Expat - would you at least PM me what type you think she is. I understand wanting to avoid drama but I'm having a lot of trouble settling on a type for her. I'll think one type, and then later I'll think another type. I've thought INTj, INTp, ISFj, ISTj, INFp. I'm grasping at straws. Lately she's seemed like maybe she's had an Ne PoLR, which has pointed me toward ISFj and ISTj, but as said above what's made me feel that way could have non-Socionic reasons. And it is somewhat contradicted by her liking me.

if you pm slacker mom, please pm me too.

[Park]

What is this "pm-ing" thing everyone's talking about? Is it something dirty? Should I get PM'd? Or does anyone want to get pm'd by me?

[dbmmama]

What is this "pm-ing" thing everyone's talking about? Is it something dirty? Should I get PM'd?

yeah, your mind would go there.

PM=private message

oh shit, i just realized you probably knew that and i didn't catch it again.......

[Park]

oh shit, i just realized you probably knew that and i didn't catch it again.......

It seems you did catch it this time after all.

[consentingadult]

... very unhappy person who lives a life with no meaning.

So ESI after all!!

Just kidding of course. It's obviously a depressed person, and the depressed, whatever their type, behave similar outwardly.

Slacker Mom, are you just seeking understanding, or understanding in order to know how to deal with this woman?

[Slacker]

So ESI after all!!

Just kidding of course. It's obviously a depressed person, and the depressed, whatever their type, behave similar outwardly.

Slacker Mom, are you just seeking understanding, or understanding in order to know how to deal with this woman?

Well I don't really have a problem with her but I'm just curious about her type. Most people I've known that long seem pretty easy to type, but she's a tough one. I'm sure because of her particular situation and how she feels as a result.

[consentingadult]

Well I don't really have a problem with her but I'm just curious about her type. Most people I've known that long seem pretty easy to type, but she's a tough one. I'm sure because of her particular situation and how she feels as a result.

I don't know if she has a mood disorder, but these can screw up a person's personality significantly. You seem to be pretty confident in your typing skills, so I would consider letting go of trying to type her and perhaps take an interest in understanding mood disorders. Look at it as a new way of typing

[reckoner]

Undersexed...possibly Mormon.

[marooned]

I was thinking about the 'nasty comments about some actresses hair' again. Maybe it's an expression of her unhappiness and that's why she doesn't care that things she criticizes might apply to her as well. So when she makes the nasty comment and gets the response that "her hair is short too," maybe it wasn't the response she wanted... maybe she wanted someone to acknowledge her bitterness and resentment or whatever negative emotions are there... maybe she was trying to create an opening to try to improve how she was feeling or "connect" on some level. It seems she's sort of given up on life?

I'm really thinking she's Fe quadra and beta.