I've had a couple of circumstances where I've seen people of these types have problems, and it's just awful.
I have a circle of friends - all moms - who met mainly through La Leche League, but also who were pulled in from other places. There is an INTp in this group who is kind of the odd woman out. She feels out of place and unhappy there, and hasn't been showing up to a lot of things, and I've finally figured it out. There are two women who have kind of taken over getting activities together and what-not, and they're both ESFj. They are great at getting us to all do things and have fun, but they don't like this INTp. She wasn't at a get-together the other day, and they were just digging into her about how she was anti-social and she was turning her daughter into a recluse. Her daughter is uncomfortable playing with the other kids and prefers to stay close to her mom, and these ESFjs think it's because of the INTp. That she doesn't "participate" (and by that they don't mean just show up) and therefore her daughter doesn't either.
I found myself needing to defend this poor INTp and I felt awful. I really like these two ESFjs and they aren't naturally mean people, but it just felt so bad. I'm not sure how to handle this. All the people involved are good people.
Does anyone have experience with these two types and their dealings? I don't think it's fair that this INTp should be left out but I'm not sure how to get her to feel more comfortable, or if it's even possible.