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Thread: Types that are most loyal in relationships

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    Default Types that are most loyal in relationships

    discuss
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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    idk, but I know I wouldn't cheat. That would be something I just could never bring myself to do.
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    I know what you want to hear: it's ISTjs (c:
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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit View Post
    I know what you want to hear: it's ISTjs (c:
    Fuck yes.


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    Maybe ISFj and INFj? I think leading Fi makes someone really hold onto relationships. Also, the ISFjs and INFjs have been faithful and tried to hold onto relationships even when they've been treated terribly and there was no good reason for it.
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    LII, because it is so rare that they actually have a significant other (or any meaningful relationship) that they loyally (and desperately) cling to what little relations they have.
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    ...
    Last edited by Suomea; 09-28-2008 at 01:06 AM.
    Suomea

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit View Post
    I know what you want to hear: it's ISTjs (c:
    I think i should change my signature
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    Tentatively, I would say IJs.
    More tentantively, by modus tollens, I would say negativist IJs.
    Even more tentatively, I would say negativist IJs NT (merely due to the fact that a double-socially-closed functional preference will, ceteris paribus, resul in lower chances).
    The result of this extremely tentative deduction is INTJ.
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    IEE. nuff said.

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    me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by diljs View Post
    me.
    ME.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariano Rajoy View Post
    Pop psychology isn't rocket science.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    LII, because it is so rare that they actually have a significant other (or any meaningful relationship) that they loyally (and desperately) cling to what little relations they have.
    Aww, that's so sad. It makes me want to hug you and love you and keep you forever.

    On the other hand, I say this now, but when I actually experience clingy LIIs IRL (and it happens a lot, I attract them like a plague...) they scare me away. Augh, dependency, they often end up like puppies: all attentive and devoted to you and wanting all your time. I kind of hiss and claw my way up the curtains to try and escape them. I mean, you're fun to play with, but a girl's got to have her own life!

    I guess that's why you need ESEs to cheerfully accept you and decide what's going to happen at any given time.

    ESE: "We're doing this!"
    LII: "Yeah, let's do it."

    ILE: "Want to play video games?"
    LII: "Sure, if that's what you want to do."
    ILE: "...No, I'm asking you what you want to do."
    LII: "Well I don't know, what do you want?"
    ILE: "I don't know, that's why I'm tossing out suggestions!"
    LII: "Well I don't know either."
    ILE: "I'm the one throwing out ideas, can't you just pick your favourite??"
    LII: "No, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm just cool with hanging out."
    ILE: "Well I want to do something, but I don't want to choose. I'm the ideas person, you're the choosing person."
    LII: "Are we competing for who can be the most indecisive? I'm going to win."
    ILE: "Screw that, I'm leaving. I have better things to do with my time."
    LII: "No, wait! Let's play video games."
    ILE: "Ok, what are we going to play."
    LII: "You have to choose, I chose video games."
    ILE: "Man, seriously. You're the one who wanted to hang out tonight..."
    LII: "I just want you to pick one!"
    ILE: "Fine, I'm picking this one."
    LII: "Haha, sweet, I wanted to play that one."
    ILE: "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO??"
    LII: "Well I didn't want to force you to play what I wanted. I'm happy doing whatever you want to do *smiles*
    ILE: *wants to vomit all over herself but doesn't say so*/*wonders what happened to the competitive, snarky, and witty LII*

    This may not be true of all LIIs, but I can think of at least three of my acquaintance who do this.
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    Well I want to do something, but I don't want to choose
    - Women
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Well, I like it to be a surprise...*pouts*

    Anyways, I'm a loyal person...kind of. Loyal in so much as I'm loyal as long as I care, which is sometimes not very long. I'm extremely fickle. But I'm not disloyal. Like, I don't betray people's trust (at least not intentionally).
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    ESE: "We're doing this!"
    LII: "Yeah, let's do it."

    ILE: "Want to play video games?"
    LII: "Sure, if that's what you want to do."
    ILE: "...No, I'm asking you what you want to do."
    LII: "Well I don't know, what do you want?"
    ILE: "I don't know, that's why I'm tossing out suggestions!"
    LII: "Well I don't know either."
    ILE: "I'm the one throwing out ideas, can't you just pick your favourite??"
    LII: "No, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm just cool with hanging out."
    ILE: "Well I want to do something, but I don't want to choose. I'm the ideas person, you're the choosing person."
    LII: "Are we competing for who can be the most indecisive? I'm going to win."
    ILE: "Screw that, I'm leaving. I have better things to do with my time."
    LII: "No, wait! Let's play video games."
    ILE: "Ok, what are we going to play."
    LII: "You have to choose, I chose video games."
    ILE: "Man, seriously. You're the one who wanted to hang out tonight..."
    LII: "I just want you to pick one!"
    ILE: "Fine, I'm picking this one."
    LII: "Haha, sweet, I wanted to play that one."
    ILE: "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO??"
    LII: "Well I didn't want to force you to play what I wanted. I'm happy doing whatever you want to do *smiles*
    ILE: *wants to vomit all over herself but doesn't say so*/*wonders what happened to the competitive, snarky, and witty LII*

    This may not be true of all LIIs, but I can think of at least three of my acquaintance who do this.
    Sounds like me.

    Honestly, most of the time I simply do not care. It is generally not the video games or the activity itself that I find worthwhile, but the company. And I would prefer the people who actually care to decide the activity.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    This may not be true of all LIIs, but I can think of at least three of my acquaintance who do this.
    Pretty much dead on about the LII I know. He's married to an ESE, and she gets SO frustrated with him for not "being the man and making the decisions".

    She's not so decisive herself either, just gets cranky if we don't go eat once she's hungry. I usually end up deciding where we go after giving some random choices which they approve but won't select.

    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    Honestly, most of the time I simply do not care. It is generally not the video games or the activity itself that I find worthwhile, but the company. And I would prefer the people who actually care to decide the activity.
    I feel the same way about company, but I don't want rampant indecision all of the time. I'm hoping for an opinionated SEI, lolz. At least give me an idea - "I want pasta." Then I can say "Okay based on speed, location and price, let's go to X."
    ILE - Ti.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    Honestly, most of the time I simply do not care. It is generally not the video games or the activity itself that I find worthwhile, but the company. And I would prefer the people who actually care to decide the activity.
    Quote Originally Posted by me
    ILE: "Want to play video games?"
    LII: "Sure, if that's what you want to do."
    ILE: "...No, I'm asking you what you want to do."
    LII: "Well I don't know, what do you want?"
    ILE: "I don't know, that's why I'm tossing out suggestions!"
    LII: "Well I don't know either."
    ILE: "I'm the one throwing out ideas, can't you just pick your favourite??"
    LII: "No, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm just cool with hanging out."
    ILE: "Well I want to do something, but I don't want to choose. I'm the ideas person, you're the choosing person."
    LII: "Are we competing for who can be the most indecisive? I'm going to win."
    ILE: "Screw that, I'm leaving. I have better things to do with my time."
    LII: "No, wait! Let's play video games."

    ILE: "Ok, what are we going to play."
    LII: "You have to choose, I chose video games."
    ILE: "Man, seriously. You're the one who wanted to hang out tonight..."
    LII: "I just want you to pick one!"

    ILE: "Fine, I'm picking this one."
    LII: "Haha, sweet, I wanted to play that one."
    ILE: "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO??"
    LII: "Well I didn't want to force you to play what I wanted. I'm happy doing whatever you want to do *smiles*
    ILE: *wants to vomit all over herself but doesn't say so*/*wonders what happened to the competitive, snarky, and witty LII*
    Do I know LIIs or do I know LIIs? lol

    No, I really love hanging with my LII pals, but the above is a reoccurring problem. That and the idea of an intellectual, nerdy and eccentric ILE chick seems so novel and exhilarating to the LII males that they quickly latch onto me like a leech. Leeches freak me right out.
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    I don't know if I'd want to date an ILE, but a female ILE would be a great friend.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    I don't know if I'd want to date an ILE, but a female ILE would be a great friend.
    Yes, I love my male LII friends to death, we have amazing fun together because we are completely and unabashedly ridiculous in every way. I wouldn't want to date one, though. Been there, done that, lol.
    ILE
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    ISTp's are still free.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    ISTp's are still free.
    SLIs are cool, just don't expect me to use *disgust*
    ILE - Ti.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    Aww, that's so sad. It makes me want to hug you and love you and keep you forever.

    On the other hand, I say this now, but when I actually experience clingy LIIs IRL (and it happens a lot, I attract them like a plague...) they scare me away. Augh, dependency, they often end up like puppies: all attentive and devoted to you and wanting all your time. I kind of hiss and claw my way up the curtains to try and escape them. I mean, you're fun to play with, but a girl's got to have her own life!

    I guess that's why you need ESEs to cheerfully accept you and decide what's going to happen at any given time.

    ESE: "We're doing this!"
    LII: "Yeah, let's do it."

    ILE: "Want to play video games?"
    LII: "Sure, if that's what you want to do."
    ILE: "...No, I'm asking you what you want to do."
    LII: "Well I don't know, what do you want?"
    ILE: "I don't know, that's why I'm tossing out suggestions!"
    LII: "Well I don't know either."
    ILE: "I'm the one throwing out ideas, can't you just pick your favourite??"
    LII: "No, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm just cool with hanging out."
    ILE: "Well I want to do something, but I don't want to choose. I'm the ideas person, you're the choosing person."
    LII: "Are we competing for who can be the most indecisive? I'm going to win."
    ILE: "Screw that, I'm leaving. I have better things to do with my time."
    LII: "No, wait! Let's play video games."
    ILE: "Ok, what are we going to play."
    LII: "You have to choose, I chose video games."
    ILE: "Man, seriously. You're the one who wanted to hang out tonight..."
    LII: "I just want you to pick one!"
    ILE: "Fine, I'm picking this one."
    LII: "Haha, sweet, I wanted to play that one."
    ILE: "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO??"
    LII: "Well I didn't want to force you to play what I wanted. I'm happy doing whatever you want to do *smiles*
    ILE: *wants to vomit all over herself but doesn't say so*/*wonders what happened to the competitive, snarky, and witty LII*

    This may not be true of all LIIs, but I can think of at least three of my acquaintance who do this.
    LOL, that was perfect Vero. I'm pretty sure I've had that exact conversation before.

    Also this was a very good way of putting it:

    Quote Originally Posted by Vero
    Anyways, I'm a loyal person...kind of. Loyal in so much as I'm loyal as long as I care, which is sometimes not very long. I'm extremely fickle. But I'm not disloyal. Like, I don't betray people's trust (at least not intentionally).
    I was just going to say that I always intend to be loyal and always want to be loyal, but it doesn't always work out that way if the feelings aren't there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by diljs View Post
    Pretty much dead on about the LII I know. He's married to an ESE, and she gets SO frustrated with him for not "being the man and making the decisions".

    She's not so decisive herself either, just gets cranky if we don't go eat once she's hungry. I usually end up deciding where we go after giving some random choices which they approve but won't select.

    I feel the same way about company, but I don't want rampant indecision all of the time. I'm hoping for an opinionated SEI, lolz. At least give me an idea - "I want pasta." Then I can say "Okay based on speed, location and price, let's go to X."
    My ESE husband isn't very decisive either. And he gets major-league cranky when he's hungry. It's not pleasant.

    Good luck finding an opinionated SEI. I have yet to meet one.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I agree with Slackermom on this one. ISFjs and INFjs are the most loyal, even when it might not be in their best interest.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I agree w/ IEE, so long as we have made a commitment, it is very hard to stop caring. For a very long time.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Yeah, I agree with Slackermom. I think Fi leading is the most loyal. Fi dual seeking is probably the second most loyal, though they have to sort of be made aware of what's going on in the relationship.
    My experience with Fi creative types is that I really like them as people but i never feel like they're stable or mono-relationship enough for me.
    EII; E6(w5)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Yeah, I agree with Slackermom. I think Fi leading is the most loyal. Fi dual seeking is probably the second most loyal, though they have to sort of be made aware of what's going on in the relationship.
    My experience with Fi creative types is that I really like them as people but i never feel like they're stable or mono-relationship enough for me.
    That is pretty much how I feel.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    Aww, that's so sad. It makes me want to hug you and love you and keep you forever.

    On the other hand, I say this now, but when I actually experience clingy LIIs IRL (and it happens a lot, I attract them like a plague...) they scare me away. Augh, dependency, they often end up like puppies: all attentive and devoted to you and wanting all your time. I kind of hiss and claw my way up the curtains to try and escape them. I mean, you're fun to play with, but a girl's got to have her own life!

    I guess that's why you need ESEs to cheerfully accept you and decide what's going to happen at any given time.

    ESE: "We're doing this!"
    LII: "Yeah, let's do it."

    ILE: "Want to play video games?"
    LII: "Sure, if that's what you want to do."
    ILE: "...No, I'm asking you what you want to do."
    LII: "Well I don't know, what do you want?"
    ILE: "I don't know, that's why I'm tossing out suggestions!"
    LII: "Well I don't know either."
    ILE: "I'm the one throwing out ideas, can't you just pick your favourite??"
    LII: "No, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm just cool with hanging out."
    ILE: "Well I want to do something, but I don't want to choose. I'm the ideas person, you're the choosing person."
    LII: "Are we competing for who can be the most indecisive? I'm going to win."
    ILE: "Screw that, I'm leaving. I have better things to do with my time."
    LII: "No, wait! Let's play video games."
    ILE: "Ok, what are we going to play."
    LII: "You have to choose, I chose video games."
    ILE: "Man, seriously. You're the one who wanted to hang out tonight..."
    LII: "I just want you to pick one!"
    ILE: "Fine, I'm picking this one."
    LII: "Haha, sweet, I wanted to play that one."
    ILE: "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO??"
    LII: "Well I didn't want to force you to play what I wanted. I'm happy doing whatever you want to do *smiles*
    ILE: *wants to vomit all over herself but doesn't say so*/*wonders what happened to the competitive, snarky, and witty LII*

    This may not be true of all LIIs, but I can think of at least three of my acquaintance who do this.
    Hmm,

    What I read from that is:

    If you offer something like "Do you want to play video games?" it means that you want to play video games. And you're asking the other person if they're up for it.

    With some people if you suggest one thing to you, they'll suggest something else. Whereas others will just be hit or miss.

    If you're asking another person what they do, and they're struggling - it can help to dish out random suggestions to "spark" them. Or you can just give them a bit of time to become aware of what it is that they want.

    Or you can always just be like "you're okay with anything then". And check where they're at afterwards.

    You seem to struggle with these people though -

    I don't seem to run into that many problems. I mean, I can kind of relate in a distant way, but it's different.

    Some people, they'll seemingly want to do what you want to do, even though they don't want to do it - and then they'll pull out. And say that they didn't want to do it. And that you're "making" them do it.

    Also - if someone just comes up to you - and is like "do you want to play video games?" it can appears like they're trying to predict what is you want to do. So yeah, rebalance from there.

    I've actually met people, who seem to constantly want to know what I want. And it can be kind of frustrating. Like "do you want a coffee", "do you want a beer", "you want a beer", "you want something to eat" etc etc. And it can be kind of suffocating if overdone. Mind you I myself can do that kind of behaviour, sometimes in jest, knowing how annoying it can be.

    Sometimes I try to plot what people like, and don't like in groups. Otherwise I can feel like people are going to get overrun, by more dominant members in a group. And that I should stay aware of this possibility. And I hate it when people say that less dominant people don't matter, because they don't participate when more dominant members of a group are discussing things; cant add input etc easily.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PotatoSpirit View Post
    I know what you want to hear: it's ISTjs (c:
    ISTj gets my vote, tho Infj, and isfj is there also.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Yeah, I agree with Slackermom. I think Fi leading is the most loyal. Fi dual seeking is probably the second most loyal, though they have to sort of be made aware of what's going on in the relationship.
    My experience with Fi creative types is that I really like them as people but i never feel like they're stable or mono-relationship enough for me.
    I think a lot of ENFps have trouble remaining faithful. I'm fine since I've been with my husband, but before that I had a nasty habit of lining up my next boyfriend before I'd broken up with the previous one, and then dumping the old one for the new one. So I was literally monogamous but I was certainly not loyal or faithful. And, I point to Jude Law, whom I strongly feel is ENFp, as a good example of the "playboy" type of ENFp. I've read a couple of type descriptions that discuss that tendency too.

    I'm sure many ENFps have no trouble remaining loyal but I don't think there's anything inherent in the type that causes that. And I have had many, many ESFp friends in my life and a great number of them have had serious problems remaining loyal in relationships as well. I just don't think creative Fi gives any assistance in that area at all. We're very good at forming relationships, and then we're very good at forming new relationships.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    I'm fine since I've been with my husband, but before that I had a nasty habit of lining up my next boyfriend before I'd broken up with the previous one, and then dumping the old one for the new one. So I was literally monogamous but I was certainly not loyal or faithful.
    eee I did this too with just about every one but I'm getting over that little phase. I don't think i've been single for more than a month or two since I started dating and now that it's coming up on 3 months, I'm getting antsy here. I'll admit I've always had a wandering eye, I can't help that. I don't think it's a bad thing to always keep your options open if the two of you clearly aren't in love. That sounds bad. Oh well. That's how it is. Should I actually fall in love with someone, I'd have no problems whatsoever being faithful and loyal. I'm friends with all of my ex's even when i clearly should let most of them go......so in that sense, i guess i'm loyal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    I think a lot of ENFps have trouble remaining faithful. I'm fine since I've been with my husband, but before that I had a nasty habit of lining up my next boyfriend before I'd broken up with the previous one, and then dumping the old one for the new one. So I was literally monogamous but I was certainly not loyal or faithful. And, I point to Jude Law, whom I strongly feel is ENFp, as a good example of the "playboy" type of ENFp. I've read a couple of type descriptions that discuss that tendency too.

    I'm sure many ENFps have no trouble remaining loyal but I don't think there's anything inherent in the type that causes that. And I have had many, many ESFp friends in my life and a great number of them have had serious problems remaining loyal in relationships as well. I just don't think creative Fi gives any assistance in that area at all. We're very good at forming relationships, and then we're very good at forming new relationships.
    Thats very well the same case with me. I have never cheated literally and that would really not jive with me however I jump from one relationship to another almost without any gaps of time. More or less i start to get interested in other people while I am in a relationship and when i realise that I like someone more or that I am not content with the relationship I am in I break up and then proceed to my new found love. Nobody can accuse of cheating in a popular meaning of the word but it seems like im always on the lookout. So you can trust me that i wont cheat on you but im not sure you can rely on me being your lifetime partner even if everything runs super smooth (it usualy does with me). Oh well I end up as friends with my ex'es and they hold no bad feelings towards me as i never wronged them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    eee I did this too with just about every one but I'm getting over that little phase. I don't think i've been single for more than a month or two since I started dating and now that it's coming up on 3 months, I'm getting antsy here. I'll admit I've always had a wandering eye, I can't help that. I don't think it's a bad thing to always keep your options open if the two of you clearly aren't in love. That sounds bad. Oh well.
    Naw, that means you're not prone to lovey dovey bullshit.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    yes. I also get serious and invested rather quickly when I've decided on a relationship, whereas some people never do at all.
    My ISFj brother does too. He met this ESTj woman right after he got divorced and I think he just moved way too quickly with her. I'm afraid his heart will be broken again.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    So I would say IJs would be the most suitable answer.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    So I would say IJs would be the most suitable answer.
    Yes, I believe so.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I'd say ISFjs. I know one who hardly befriends any guys out of consideration for her bf

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    My ESE husband isn't very decisive either. And he gets major-league cranky when he's hungry. It's not pleasant.

    Good luck finding an opinionated SEI. I have yet to meet one.
    I'm opinionated, but I usually put others' opinions before my own when it's something trivial.

    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    eee I did this too with just about every one but I'm getting over that little phase. I don't think i've been single for more than a month or two since I started dating and now that it's coming up on 3 months, I'm getting antsy here. I'll admit I've always had a wandering eye, I can't help that. I don't think it's a bad thing to always keep your options open if the two of you clearly aren't in love. That sounds bad. Oh well. That's how it is. Should I actually fall in love with someone, I'd have no problems whatsoever being faithful and loyal. I'm friends with all of my ex's even when i clearly should let most of them go......so in that sense, i guess i'm loyal.
    Eh, I was/am(?) the same way. Haven't been single for over a month since I started dating. I always felt kind of ... guilty and very bad for the ex boyfriend, who never saw it coming, but I had always moved on by that point.
    Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
    John Muir

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