View Poll Results: I've had the best relations with...

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  • Duals

    9 25.71%
  • Identicals

    1 2.86%
  • Mirrors

    0 0%
  • Activity Partners

    2 5.71%
  • Semi-duals

    3 8.57%
  • Comparatives

    1 2.86%
  • Conflictors

    0 0%
  • Super-Egos

    0 0%
  • Quasi-identicals

    0 0%
  • Conflictors

    0 0%
  • Illusionaries

    1 2.86%
  • Look-a-likes

    1 2.86%
  • Benefit-partners

    1 2.86%
  • Supervision-partners

    1 2.86%
  • ALPHAS IN GENERAL

    3 8.57%
  • BETAS IN GENERAL

    5 14.29%
  • GAMMAS IN GENERAL

    2 5.71%
  • DELTAS IN GENERAL

    2 5.71%
  • All types

    3 8.57%
  • other - explain

    0 0%
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Thread: With what type have you had the best relations?

  1. #1
    xyz's Avatar
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    I'm torn between duals and semi duals.

    I should just shoot myself.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

  2. #2
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    Hmmm, well several of my best friends through the years have been IEIs as well as my brother (with whom I have a very good relationship). So I guess I should vote identicals. I've also had close friendships with a lookalike and a beneficiary. I married my supervisee and our marriage is a good one in many ways albeit imperfect. Over the past year or so I've become friends with my dual and that's really great. Easy once it got started and totally comfortable.

    So I suppose my answer is: identicals and duals. Although I will point out that when I have a problem that needs a solution, I don't gain a lot from talking to my identicals about it. They see things in the same way and although I love being understood by them, they don't have much to add to the problem-solving end of things. So in terms of giving me a different perspective, I appreciate my beneficiary friend. (also, the lookalikes rarely have anything helpful to add--they're too much like me but they're great in every other way!)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  3. #3
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    We could add more options, or change them, or reset everything, but not make multiple voting possible, apparently.

    The types I've had the best relations with are dual, semi-dual, and mirror.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Well, if two of my sisters are ISFp - tentatively for now - then semi-dual. Otherwise, mirror, and I'm slowly getting to know a couple of duals... which is good so far.

  5. #5

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    ESFp's, ENTj's and INTj's
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

  6. #6
    Haikus
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    I say Identicals and Duals are equally the best.

    Really there isn't much difference. Two sides of the same coin, or the same fucking coin with both heads (like two-face!) - what the fuck? It's still just a bleeding coin that works. I don't see duals outwardly giving you all the right answers 100% of the time either, anyway. I think both intertypes naturally restrain themselves from being too preachy and obnoxious with helping you- because that IS inherently condescending and doesn't work. I laugh at the self help book-y ness of it all. On the flip side, I think when your dual/identical is upset with you they can get too wordy & emotionally desperate (as they really give a shit, but maybe this is only a beta dual thing) as they know they can find the advice they're giving you useful for themselves... as they want to be together with you on the journey.

  7. #7
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    I get the whole thing about not idealizing duals and not running your conflictor over with a truck everytime you see each other, but really- if you really accept socionics, then you accept that you can't ever have a good relationship with your conflictor and that supervision is innately annoying, etc. And no, I don't think sex with your conflictor is hot- but maybe that's because I don't have fucked up views about sex like 99% of people.

    The whole premise of socionics is some people get along and some don't, regardless of hobbies and lifestyles! That *is* interesting, and people want to know why. Also if you weren't such a shallow, vapid whore and got to know your conflictor in a deeper way - the closer you got, the further you'd yank yourself apart from them. If you can't accept that this naturally happens with your conflictors (even though you might think they are hot and are certain you can get along, which the description even says), how can you understand socionics?

  8. #8
    Creepy-Diana

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    .

  9. #9
    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    It's more like long-term close relationships with your conflictor drains both of you of all your vitalness. You CAN be close to them, you CAN think they're great, you CAN love them. But you wear away at each other, and it's only in hindsight that you realize just how much you took away from each other. You kind of make each other mentally unstable. You each see things in each other that are good, and things that remind you of your dual, and you want more of those dualish kind of aspects, which means they're having to rely on their 7th and 8th way more than they want to, and can't use their 1st and 2nd the way they should be able to. You can get to know each other well and deeply, but at the same time, it's not who you really are. . .

    My ex, who is my conflictor, told me the other day, "You're my best friend" and the sad thing is. . . I am. I am his best friend. He grew up with a dual parent and a mirror parent. . . and an EIE sister. I grew up in a household of people with similar quadra values as me. And so we were each very foreign and intriguing to the other, and had the best conversations. We saw each other as a team, but neither of us was completely suited for the role we played in it. Things can be deceptively good, and you can certainly care very much about the other person. Time and distance change your perspective though.

    Brain injuries suck, but I wouldn't go back to what we had in a million years. If he returned to who he was pre-injury I would not want to be with him, and would do everything possible to stay away from him. But it's a slow eroding, not a big fireworks kind of clash, and you're both the frogs who are slowly being boiled. A few years ago I would have said, and did say, that I wanted him back the way he was before. It was heartbreaking and extremely difficult to lose my conflictor. But there's absolutely no way in the world to have your conflictor and yourself at the same time, nor do they keep themselves. It's better to have yourself, and with a dual it's the opposite, you're yourself and more, you're you magnified, and with your conflictor. . . you're you diminished.

    And before anyone says, "oh you can't let yourself be affected that way" I'm sorry but that's bullshit. Every interaction you have with other people affects you and you affect them, you can't help it. You either adapt to, conflict with, or avoid each other, and over the long-term this affects you, changes you, hurts or helps you, and it takes a long time to readjust after being with your conflictor or other opposing quadra person.
    Oh Diana, this post made me cry.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  10. #10
    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    I've had the best relationships with people in this order:

    Semi-Duals
    Identicals
    Mirrors

    Haven't had much experience with duals.
    ILE
    7w8 so/sp

    Very busy with work. Only kind of around.

  11. #11
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    My bestbest friend is my supervisee, she makes me feel awesome about myself, but I can feel the strain sometimes.

    Then my other best friend, who is fucking awesome and we can just be crazy together, is my mirror. My sister is my mirror, we get along awesome most of the time, but we get into a lot of fights.

    I also have this raw animalistic connection with my duals, we never really speak and I don't have relationships with either because of my stupid feelings of neither of us being good enough. But I am getting other that and actually responding to them...

    I have never met another IEI, activity person or a semi-dual, I don't think...

  12. #12
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    I say Identicals and Duals are equally the best.
    I agree.

    Adding to this, probably the bestest relations overall are those with a dual that has had an identical influence for long
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  13. #13

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    dual > illusionary > activity
    INTp
    sx/sp

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    I get the whole thing about not idealizing duals and not running your conflictor over with a truck everytime you see each other, but really- if you really accept socionics, then you accept that you can't ever have a good relationship with your conflictor and that supervision is innately annoying, etc. And no, I don't think sex with your conflictor is hot- but maybe that's because I don't have fucked up views about sex like 99&#37; of people.

    The whole premise of socionics is some people get along and some don't, regardless of hobbies and lifestyles! That *is* interesting, and people want to know why. Also if you weren't such a shallow, vapid whore and got to know your conflictor in a deeper way - the closer you got, the further you'd yank yourself apart from them. If you can't accept that this naturally happens with your conflictors (even though you might think they are hot and are certain you can get along, which the description even says), how can you understand socionics?
    no, not really. it's about the most complimentary types of information exchange, not about relationships per se. and then saying that you "cant ever" have a good relationship with a certain type.. even if you meant only your conflictor.. is also a stretch. You would have to define the terms more closely to make anything close to that kind of statement.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    It's more like long-term close relationships with your conflictor drains both of you of all your vitalness. You CAN be close to them, you CAN think they're great, you CAN love them. But you wear away at each other, and it's only in hindsight that you realize just how much you took away from each other. You kind of make each other mentally unstable. You each see things in each other that are good, and things that remind you of your dual, and you want more of those dualish kind of aspects, which means they're having to rely on their 7th and 8th way more than they want to, and can't use their 1st and 2nd the way they should be able to. You can get to know each other well and deeply, but at the same time, it's not who you really are. . .

    My ex, who is my conflictor, told me the other day, "You're my best friend" and the sad thing is. . . I am. I am his best friend. He grew up with a dual parent and a mirror parent. . . and an EIE sister. I grew up in a household of people with similar quadra values as me. And so we were each very foreign and intriguing to the other, and had the best conversations. We saw each other as a team, but neither of us was completely suited for the role we played in it. Things can be deceptively good, and you can certainly care very much about the other person. Time and distance change your perspective though.

    Brain injuries suck, but I wouldn't go back to what we had in a million years. If he returned to who he was pre-injury I would not want to be with him, and would do everything possible to stay away from him. But it's a slow eroding, not a big fireworks kind of clash, and you're both the frogs who are slowly being boiled. A few years ago I would have said, and did say, that I wanted him back the way he was before. It was heartbreaking and extremely difficult to lose my conflictor. But there's absolutely no way in the world to have your conflictor and yourself at the same time, nor do they keep themselves. It's better to have yourself, and with a dual it's the opposite, you're yourself and more, you're you magnified, and with your conflictor. . . you're you diminished.

    And before anyone says, "oh you can't let yourself be affected that way" I'm sorry but that's bullshit. Every interaction you have with other people affects you and you affect them, you can't help it. You either adapt to, conflict with, or avoid each other, and over the long-term this affects you, changes you, hurts or helps you, and it takes a long time to readjust after being with your conflictor or other opposing quadra person.
    thank you for that, diana.

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    most stable relations in my life so far have been with lookalike, activity, and benefit partners (ISTp more than INFp). I have a dual relation at work that has steadily grown, but we are not, and will not, get closer.

  17. #17
    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I agree.

    Adding to this, probably the bestest relations overall are those with a dual that has had an identical influence for long
    Do you mean a Dual who has another Dual influence ? As in if I were IEI, I'd get along best with an SLE who has had another IEI in their life for long before me ?

    OR did you actually mean to say an Identical, so another IEI with SLE influence? Cause I think THAT would also be highly, highly awesome =D

    What you said doesn't make too much sense to me, it would mean SLE with SLE influence


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  18. #18
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    I've had the best relations with Scarlett Lux
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux View Post
    Do you mean a Dual who has another Dual influence ? As in if I were IEI, I'd get along best with an SLE who has had another IEI in their life for long before me ?

    OR did you actually mean to say an Identical, so another IEI with SLE influence? Cause I think THAT would also be highly, highly awesome =D

    What you said doesn't make too much sense to me, it would mean SLE with SLE influence
    I have the same question. I'm friends with a dual who's married to HIS dual (my identical). Is that what you meant?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  20. #20
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I have the same question. I'm friends with a dual who's married to HIS dual (my identical). Is that what you meant?
    Yeah, that's exactly what I mean (the situation of your friend, the relationship between you and yourfriend is what I consider optimal )
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Yeah, that's exactly what I mean (the situation of your friend, the relationship between you and yourfriend is what I consider optimal )
    why? thats what crazedrat says too

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    why? thats what crazedrat says too
    Because they already trust information coming from you, they already subconsciosly know how to deal with hot spots that might endanger the relationship, etc
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  23. #23
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    LSI dual
    Beta extrovert from NF club.

  24. #24
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    Well, my best friend is my supervisor and we get on great. He helps me in confronting and solving everyday problems, and I get him to pull back and relax since he seems incapable of doing this on his own.

    I'm married to my "extinguishment" partner. Not sure what extinguishment correlates to in the poll above, but we have very similar interests that we share. The difference is in how we analyze problems and the conclusions we draw. She relies more on emotion, while I am better able to detach my emotions from a subject and draw logical inferences.

    The only dual I'm certain I've met is my father. Our relationship is functional, but we can't get close to each other. There is this strong, I guess I'd call it vibration of anger and violence I detect from him that causes me to keep my distance. He's only lost control physically with me once, but he's got a nasty temper that often manifests itself verbally. I can't criticize him too much though, since I can tell he makes a concerted effort to keep it in check.
    INFj

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckoner View Post
    Well, my best friend is my supervisor and we get on great. He helps me in confronting and solving everyday problems, and I get him to pull back and relax since he seems incapable of doing this on his own.

    I'm married to my "extinguishment" partner. Not sure what extinguishment correlates to in the poll above, but we have very similar interests that we share. The difference is in how we analyze problems and the conclusions we draw. She relies more on emotion, while I am better able to detach my emotions from a subject and draw logical inferences.

    The only dual I'm certain I've met is my father. Our relationship is functional, but we can't get close to each other. There is this strong, I guess I'd call it vibration of anger and violence I detect from him that causes me to keep my distance. He's only lost control physically with me once, but he's got a nasty temper that often manifests itself verbally. I can't criticize him too much though, since I can tell he makes a concerted effort to keep it in check.
    So...what type are you?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    So...what type are you?
    IXXx....but this is assuming I am IEI, which is what I'm drifting back towards.
    INFj

  27. #27
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    Currently I'd have to say activator SLE. There's this young man that I've never met, but it's just too much fun to goof around in messenger, talking about world domination and personal slaves... A couple of times I've been feeling very unenergetic and depressed - 10 minutes of messenger-chatting with him just cures that! No sexuality involved - he's my little brother's friend and I'm married and I've never met him.

    I get along very very very well with my husband (supervisee), but I can't say that 10 minutes of messenger-chatting would give me so much energy.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

  28. #28
    the Omniscient Nexus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckoner View Post
    Well, my best friend is my supervisor and we get on great. He helps me in confronting and solving everyday problems, and I get him to pull back and relax since he seems incapable of doing this on his own.

    I'm married to my "extinguishment" partner. Not sure what extinguishment correlates to in the poll above, but we have very similar interests that we share. The difference is in how we analyze problems and the conclusions we draw. She relies more on emotion, while I am better able to detach my emotions from a subject and draw logical inferences.

    The only dual I'm certain I've met is my father. Our relationship is functional, but we can't get close to each other. There is this strong, I guess I'd call it vibration of anger and violence I detect from him that causes me to keep my distance. He's only lost control physically with me once, but he's got a nasty temper that often manifests itself verbally. I can't criticize him too much though, since I can tell he makes a concerted effort to keep it in check.
    What is your type? Your signature says 'IXXx'.
    Last edited by Nexus; 09-18-2008 at 01:34 PM.

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