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Thread: The Factor of Sexual Attraction

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    Default The Factor of Sexual Attraction

    We are drawn to our alter-egos.

    Our anima/animus is of the social relational style of our alterego, therefore we will look for people whom have that trait when trying to select optimal mates. For example, a person with a cautious alter-ego will prefer to fantasize over a counselor as opposed to any other of the social relation types. Ideal matches function when either person has as their foreground social relation type the alterego of the other; these couples experience optimal mutual attraction.

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    "We are drawn to our alter-egos"

    Nice intro but I could not make heads or tails of your explanation. Give an example of an alter-ego. In pop culture the nutty professor is a clear example of the scientific nerd who has a charismatic and bold alter-ego. Essentially an alter-ego is a repressed aspect of a person's personality.

    Personality is stifled by the physical body. I find that a person's demeanor can be heavily influenced by their physical fitness. So essentially say you had a skinny and frail body type and that is what is perceived objectively by others then the personality of that person may be less represented. Hence a general dissatisfaction with the self and the creation of a alter-ego to compensate for what one lacks; i.e. self-idealization, etc.

    Body types are often what cause repression or misjudgement of character. When you see a large man with a good physique that is associated with toughness and bravery but yet his personality could reflect a very timid and soft individual.

    I had dated a women who had a very fine figure. The perfect hip to waist ratio. However she resented the fact that I found her attractive based on her body. She said that her personality is different from what people typify her to be.

    Basically alter-ego is not a sign of health and indicates a repression of personality. The mind and body are one but when you have two-minds in one body your sick.

    I'm not sure that is what you meant but can you give a clearer explanation of "we are drawn to our alter-ego's". Its an inspiring thought but I do not follow what you mean.

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    Women base the assumption that being attracted to someone for their looks is bad because our culture has perpetuated a myth that physical appearance and personality don't go hand in hand. Now truth be told, LXI EM types will be attracted to someone for the intellect alone. This goes for L EM types in general...

    I recently discussed the matter with an LII-LII female. She told me intelligence was more than attractive... it was actually sexy.

    The alter-ego thing only goes so far. Generally we look expression of the conflict resolution style we disdain. (that held by the alter-ego) We want someone to do what we ourselves will not dare to. Our defense is that if we do it, then it'll mean catastrophe. What if everybody who took on responsibilities like ours did? Then a lot of responsibility would be shirked and the results would be unsatisfactory at best. However, we are OK with someone else being what we don't want to be, so long as we don't think it's a way towards harm. You might say we enjoy correcting others' apparent stupidity and naivete. Why not desire a partner who makes the traits we disdain admirable, even if cutely flawed?

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    my friend has an interesting philosophy: everyone is different so no two people are the same. I challenged his belief arguing identical twins are the same but he refuted my argument claiming that they still have individual experiences that separate them no matter how similiar they appear.

    At a later date, his agrument was held to be true with empirical evidence. I happen to start teaching twins and they have distinct personality traits even though they appear identical. There is slight physical differences like one has a dot on his nose and other does not. One is much more outspoken and the other quieter. The one that is talkative is fun loving and the other serious, etc. One can get sick and the other remains healthy.

    I challenged his belief a little more by stating "if no one is the same then how can we speak the same language, understand one another, etc?". He relented his statement and admitted that in some degree we are all the same when it comes to language and understanding one another, but we are all different through pesonal and individual experience.

    The relevancy of this anecdote is our physical bodies are different but the bridge between our physical differences is communication. To re-interpret your original notion of alter-ego, I have on numerous occasions been unable to psychological meet the demands of a situation in which I am completely unable to respond to the situation as immediately happening before me. In what appears as a short coming is not at all a flaw. I need not allow my ego to create or compensate with an alter-ego who can meet such demands to which only the imagination can contain nor look upon others with a sense of envy at them and a sense of inadequacy at oneself.

    On the contrary, the inability for myself to handle every situation makes me vulnerable and therefore dependent upon someone else. Simply put I am not a God. There are certain people I need in my life and certain people I do not need. Admittedly figuring out who you need from who you like is an immensely arduous task. Even to figure out you actually need someone is met with another difficult task of realizing a mutual need for one another.

    When you mention alter-ego that seems to be an escape from atypical explanations of attraction but you lead it into obscurity and egotism as if that is a better alternative than a superficial explanation.

    I present something perhaps better but no worse. I consider real attraction to be based on a need for someone. They can express what I silently ponder. They can do what I can not. I say ignore all preferences and desires but base attraction soley on mutual necessity. I need those who need me and all the rest are needed by those who need them.

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    There's also this factor...

    ...which also seems to be a form of opposite attraction, or more accurately, alternates between that and "birds of a feather" based on definite factors.



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    Quote Originally Posted by chip View Post
    my friend has an interesting philosophy: everyone is different so no two people are the same. I challenged his belief arguing identical twins are the same
    Thermograms of monozygotic twins show their differences, that is, identical twins are not identical.

    I happen to start teaching twins and they have distinct personality traits even though they appear identical.
    You're a genius

    "if no one is the same then how can we speak the same language, understand one another, etc?".
    IQ measures the genotypic component of phenotypic intelligence, so depriving a child of sensory input, it will be unable to learn even a simple language.

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    What do you have to back this up? Alter ego? Explain this a bit more.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Opposites attract sexually, but if you're like me and you already have a lot of opposing things in your being, that exist in a state of intense ambivalence, you're much more attracted to people who are like you rather than people who are different. =p

    You can't really be attracted to your opposite if you already have that 'opposing thing' in yourself to begin with.

    That's why it's been hard for me to find a mate. I really just want an equal but it seems like everybody wants in others what they can't find in themselves. But as a hybrid shaman class I just can't see it that way. =p

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    If by alter ego, you mean your complete opposite then I'd actually see how this theory could be relevant. I could also see why this would be a reason why people are attracted to their duals.

    I have what you need : when people search for a partner they unconsciously try to find someone who has similar traits to the ones they like about themselves and different traits than the ones they hate about themselves. For example if someone who feels inferior but was very intelligent then he will seek an intelligent but confident partner. If this was the person you are targeting then playing the role of an incredibly confident person can be very effective simply because you will be sending a message to his/her subconscious mind saying “I have what you need”.

    Meeting Criteria: Inside the mind of every one of us is a quick list or basic criteria that must be met before we can fall in love with someone. Although meeting these criteria does not necessarily guarantee that we will love the person still not meeting any of them makes it certain that we will never love him. Examples of these criteria can be: "He must be a non smoker", "He must be religious" …etc. You should try to know the background of the person you like and attempt to meet his basic criteria else you will be rejected before you even begin.
    This makes sense. I find that I'm incredibly attracted to people who easily excel where I have problems.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Opposites attract sexually, but if you're like me and you already have a lot of opposing things in your being, that exist in a state of intense ambivalence, you're much more attracted to people who are like you rather than people who are different. =p
    So people with internal conflicts are attracted to other people with internal conflicts?

    (Is intense ambivalence even possible?)



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