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Thread: Anti-soulmate

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    Default Anti-soulmate

    Finally managed to register, I think the activation e-mail went to my junk mail.

    Anyway, among all of the usual impracticle things that a think about, I was thinking that if there is a soulmate then wouldn't there be an anti-soulmate? hmmmm.... Maybe this is the underlying theme in the Terminator movie... muahaha, sneaky film makers.

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    that would be your conflicting partner, i assume....for an infj that would be estp

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    I do not believe in soulmates. But yes, if there was a soulmate there would be an anti-soulmate.
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    Actually I think it would be your supervisee... You get tricked into believing they are your soulmate..
    ENFP - Ethical Subtype.
    In touch with semireality.

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    I think that it depends on the specific criteria for calling someone a "soulmate." I also don't really believe that the vague idea of a soulmate exists, but there is something about it that I like giving thought to.

    Maybe it's the idea that there is someone that is 'meant' for you to be with. Being able to fully relax, knowing that you have taken the right train.

    Now I have to land back on earth in order to settle some stuff I need to do there

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    I don't think I've met my supervisee...

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    both on the top were mine

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    the idea that there is one specific person meant for everyone is, IMO, childish
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    Being able to fully relax....
    So an anti-soulmate = someone who makes you feel tense, who challenges you constantly and criticizes just about everything you are and do. Correct?

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    So an anti-soulmate = someone who makes you feel tense, who challenges you constantly and criticizes just about everything you are and do. Correct?
    Like someone you feel you have to destroy... exactly as ILENTp put it, hehe

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    no

    if one was bigger, they would not be particle and anti particle

    it's like Agent Smith in the Matrix... the explanation of his existance in the third one

    *mental note: rent The Matrix trilogy*
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    *sighs*

    this topic is fun

    I still don't believe in soulmates though

    when someone says they are looking for their soulmate it makes me want to be like "oh, I met him the other day. Nice guy, I prolly shouldn't have killed him"
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    exactly! if you can't be happy on your own, you cannot be happy in any relationship. and if you're looking for a "perfect" relationship... don't get me started.
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    I used to believe in the whole soulmate thing -- but I think that in a way that misses the whole point of a relationship. If you're busy looking for your perfect match the one "who completes you" (blah) all that, you're not spending any time being happy with yourself, making yourself someone that's great to be with. It's sort of a needy cop-out to expect someone to be your soulmate and fill in all of your weak points, isn't it?
    that's why I mentioned that it could exist if there is a specified criteria. It doesn't make any sense to just say "someone who will perfect me." Actually, in order for a so-called soulmate to exist would mean that there is a logical meaning to life... I guess finding that out would come first

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana


    I used to believe in the whole soulmate thing -- but I think that in a way that misses the whole point of a relationship. If you're busy looking for your perfect match the one "who completes you" (blah) all that, you're not spending any time being happy with yourself, making yourself someone that's great to be with. It's sort of a needy cop-out to expect someone to be your soulmate and fill in all of your weak points, isn't it?
    Agree. Believing in soulmates is a recipe for disaster. You'll end up dissatisfied with your friends and partners, always believing that perfect happiness is out there somewhere, if only you could find it. It's much healthier to realize that we're all of us pretty fucked up.

    It's a nice word, though, "soulmate". If you take it literally, it could mean a person who really likes you for what you're like when you're just being yourself. No special effort necessary. No huge important parts of your worldview or behaviour they dislike or can't live with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana


    I used to believe in the whole soulmate thing -- but I think that in a way that misses the whole point of a relationship. If you're busy looking for your perfect match the one "who completes you" (blah) all that, you're not spending any time being happy with yourself, making yourself someone that's great to be with. It's sort of a needy cop-out to expect someone to be your soulmate and fill in all of your weak points, isn't it?
    A soulmate is not someone you expect to fill in your weak points. And a soulmate doesn't equal a perfect match. And you can't look for a soulmate because all other things you have been conditioned to want or need will get in your way. It just happens or it doesn't. I for my part believe that some people find their soulmates.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
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    no

    I killed them all

    oh no! now those people will never find love again because their soulmate is gone!

    shit... how crappy for them that they had a soulmate.
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    Joy, once you're rich and famous, what about financing a movie about that? Like a cynical version of "ghostbusters".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    no

    I killed them all

    oh no! now those people will never find love again because their soulmate is gone!

    shit... how crappy for them that they had a soulmate.
    Very rude but very funny. ENTps have their moments

    But could someone define what exactly is a soulmate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    A soulmate is not someone you expect to fill in your weak points. And a soulmate doesn't equal a perfect match.
    So if I have someone to fill in my weak points and someone who is my perfect match then what do I need a soulmate for? What is the purpose of soulmate? What role is soulmate supposed to play in my life?

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    Daydreaming fodder.

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    Quote Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
    Joy, once you're rich and famous, what about financing a movie about that? Like a cynical version of "ghostbusters".
    sure. I'll produce it, and you can direct it.

    When someone says soulmate I believe they mean the ONE perfect person for them. I do believe that there are people who are extremely compatible, and that it's extremely rare, but cmon... ONE person you're destined to be with? When people talk about that I want to sell them a map to the gold at the end of the rainbow.
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    Quote Originally Posted by XoX
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    no

    I killed them all

    oh no! now those people will never find love again because their soulmate is gone!

    shit... how crappy for them that they had a soulmate.
    Very rude but very funny. ENTps have their moments

    But could someone define what exactly is a soulmate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    A soulmate is not someone you expect to fill in your weak points. And a soulmate doesn't equal a perfect match.
    So if I have someone to fill in my weak points and someone who is my perfect match then what do I need a soulmate for? What is the purpose of soulmate? What role is soulmate supposed to play in my life?
    It's not about role or perfect partner of filling in the blanks. It's not about searching for your soulmate. YOU CAN'T because you are too caught up in your frame of reference. You just feel it. And I'm not saying that you can't have love and fulfillment without your soulmate. But I do believe that some people find their soulmates. And many other people are happy with people who might not be their soulmates, but make them content and love them. Why are people so aggressive when it comes to that? I have never searched for my soulmate, but I believe that two peoples' souls can truly touch.

    Well, maybe it's just me.
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    Before you two get into a quarrel, I think that this

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I do believe that there are people who are extremely compatible, and that it's extremely rare...
    and this

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    I have never searched for my soulmate, but I believe that two peoples' souls can truly touch.
    are roughly the same thing. (Now shoot me.) And this

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    When someone says soulmate I believe they mean the ONE perfect person for them. ...cmon... ONE person you're destined to be with? When people talk about that I want to sell them a map to the gold at the end of the rainbow.
    and this

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    A soulmate doesn't equal a perfect match. It's not about perfect partner... And I'm not saying that you can't have love and fulfillment without your soulmate. I do believe that some people find their soulmates. And many other people are happy with people who might not be their soulmates, but make them content and love them.
    could also mean the same thing. Perhaps "soulmate" is, for Kim, a word for "the kind of person who's just right for you". Once Kim has stated whether she thinks that there's only ONE soulmate for each of us, and that each of us HAS such a soulmate, then you've got my permission to beat each other to a pulp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
    Before you two get into a quarrel, I think that this

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I do believe that there are people who are extremely compatible, and that it's extremely rare...
    and this

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    I have never searched for my soulmate, but I believe that two peoples' souls can truly touch.
    are roughly the same thing. (Now shoot me.) And this

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    When someone says soulmate I believe they mean the ONE perfect person for them. ...cmon... ONE person you're destined to be with? When people talk about that I want to sell them a map to the gold at the end of the rainbow.
    and this

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    A soulmate doesn't equal a perfect match. It's not about perfect partner... And I'm not saying that you can't have love and fulfillment without your soulmate. I do believe that some people find their soulmates. And many other people are happy with people who might not be their soulmates, but make them content and love them.
    could also mean the same thing. Perhaps "soulmate" is, for Kim, a word for "the kind of person who's just right for you". Once Kim has stated whether she thinks that there's only ONE soulmate for each of us, and that each of us HAS such a soulmate, then you've got my permission to beat each other to a pulp.
    No, I think Joy and I are talking about two different things. My point of view on this is purely subjective and irrational, of course. "Soulmate" is not a word for a "kind of person." It's about "soul." My soul truly connecting with another's soul and thus seeing the person outside of any frame of reference that defines "compatibility." It's not about being compatible or perfect in a sense of character traits or likes or dislikes. It's about connecting on a really deep level and loving. It's hard to explain. But Joy and I are talking about two different things.

    I do think that we only have one soulmate, but I don't know if everyone has one. No clue. And you don't need your soulmate to be very happy. But your soulmate makes you happy and content and feel at peace with who you are.

    Ahhh, cheesy Kim!
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    kim, define soul.
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    Kim is totally right!

    Although you don't need your soulmate to be happy, I don't think I would eve be happy again if I lost my soulmate... I won't even think about that

    All you cynical people have obviously not found your soulmate

    A soulmate is everything - the universe itself, the meaning of life. You become filled with a deep profound love not only for them but for all mankind and the universe.

    A soulmate = the ultimate dual, whether or not they are actually your dual.

    Lol, I could go on and on but I won't...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    It's not about role or perfect partner of filling in the blanks. It's not about searching for your soulmate. YOU CAN'T because you are too caught up in your frame of reference. You just feel it. And I'm not saying that you can't have love and fulfillment without your soulmate. But I do believe that some people find their soulmates. And many other people are happy with people who might not be their soulmates, but make them content and love them. Why are people so aggressive when it comes to that? I have never searched for my soulmate, but I believe that two peoples' souls can truly touch.

    Well, maybe it's just me. Very Happy
    I'm not dissing the concept of soulmate or being aggressive. I'm just trying to understand if something is really missing from my life or is this just endless NF dream chasing.

    Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
    A soulmate is everything - the universe itself, the meaning of life. You become filled with a deep profound love not only for them but for all mankind and the universe.
    Oh wow, I think God is my soulmate. And that was a very nice way to express it.

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    I believe that the soul is the non-physical part of a human. It is the sum of their conscious and unconscious mind, the thing that makes them who they are. I believe that this thing we call a soul exists in a non-physical realm. Everyone is different, but there are some people who are enough alike to be able to truly understand another person and communicate through non-physical/verbal means. They "get" eachother. This type of connection is what ideal relationships are based on, and it is very rare. That is why when you meet someone who you connect with on this level, things like age and other situational factors are nearly irrelevant.

    I do not, however, believe that there is only one person in the world who you can connect with like that, or that having a connection as such with a person means that you should necessarily be together/stay together. There are other factors that make or break relationships, and I see no reason why you cannot be just friends with a person who you connect with. Also, if you are with someone like that and it doesn't work out or someone dies, I do not believe that you will never experience that connectedness with another person.

    Ideas as absolute as "the one true love of my life" and whatnot irritate me.
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    If there is such a thing as a soulmate, then I think it could be someone you just want to be friends with. It doesn't have to be a partner. A soulmate can just be that, a mate. Or perhaps a relative.

    Plus, perhaps you can have several? - Wouldn't that be wonderful?

    EDITED: I'd like to believe that there are true soulmates, but I can't. It would be so wonderful. But even the best of relationships are prone to misunderstandings and take such hard work... And sometimes you think that someone really "gets" you and likes you a lot, but as soon as your life becomes troubled (some people can't handle that) or successful (other people can't handle that), hey presto, see how they run. Which is why the concept of "soulmates" can be so disillusioning. You end up thinking "well, then why can't I have one? Where's mine!?" It makes you dissatisfied with what you have. At the worst, it can make people think, as soon as a relationship becomes a wee bit difficult, "ah-ha! perhaps my partner isn't my soulmate after all."

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    Quote Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
    If there is such a thing as a soulmate, then I think it could be someone you just want to be friends with. It doesn't have to be a partner. A soulmate can just be that, a mate. Or perhaps a relative.

    Plus, perhaps you can have several? - Wouldn't that be wonderful?

    EDITED: I'd like to believe that there are true soulmates, but I can't. It would be so wonderful. But even the best of relationships are prone to misunderstandings and take such hard work... And sometimes you think that someone really "gets" you and likes you a lot, but as soon as your life becomes troubled (some people can't handle that) or successful (other people can't handle that), hey presto, see how they run. Which is why the concept of "soulmates" can be so disillusioning. You end up thinking "well, then why can't I have one? Where's mine!?" It makes you dissatisfied with what you have. At the worst, it can make people think, as soon as a relationship becomes a wee bit difficult, "ah-ha! perhaps my partner isn't my soulmate after all."
    BINGO! I dont even know what I can add to that. :wink: Perhaps, I'd like to believe that there are more than a couple of people out there that you could have as a soulmate.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    I think there are many, but it's still extremely rare to find them... people who exist in the same realm as you.
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    Wow, I didn't think that there was going to be so much discussion when I posted the topic. What have I unleashed?...

    I believe that the soul is the non-physical part of a human. It is the sum of their conscious and unconscious mind, the thing that makes them who they are. I believe that this thing we call a soul exists in a non-physical realm
    Why can't a soul be something physical? The way I see it is if it produces some sort of effect, then it exists, then it is physical.

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    define soul
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    What I meant was that if a soul "exists," regardless of definition, then it should be physical.

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    ummm okay..... could you mail yours to me?
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    Quote Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
    If there is such a thing as a soulmate, then I think it could be someone you just want to be friends with. It doesn't have to be a partner. A soulmate can just be that, a mate. Or perhaps a relative.

    Plus, perhaps you can have several? - Wouldn't that be wonderful?

    EDITED: I'd like to believe that there are true soulmates, but I can't. It would be so wonderful. But even the best of relationships are prone to misunderstandings and take such hard work... And sometimes you think that someone really "gets" you and likes you a lot, but as soon as your life becomes troubled (some people can't handle that) or successful (other people can't handle that), hey presto, see how they run. Which is why the concept of "soulmates" can be so disillusioning. You end up thinking "well, then why can't I have one? Where's mine!?" It makes you dissatisfied with what you have. At the worst, it can make people think, as soon as a relationship becomes a wee bit difficult, "ah-ha! perhaps my partner isn't my soulmate after all."
    Maybe there are several soulmates... but I'm not looking for the rest of them, lol. I heard this theory that there are 7, but who knows?

    Even with your soulmate, the relationship takes just as much work as usual, you just have this extra dimension in your relationship (which you don't miss if you've never experienced, btw, so if you never meet your soulmate it doesn't mean you'll never be happy).

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    too defined...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    I do think that we only have one soulmate, but I don't know if everyone has one. No clue. And you don't need your soulmate to be very happy. But your soulmate makes you happy and content and feel at peace with who you are.
    Ahhh, cheesy Kim!
    I think I understand the meaning of duality better now. Somewhere deep inside I have this little dreamer who wants to have these kind of dreams and really believe in them but everytime it tries to come out I kill it with facts and logic. If I'd spend time with an ENFp the little dreamer might become a visible part of my personality. I'm just not sure what I could give to the ENFp I feel inferior.

    This really has nothing to do with the topic anymore :wink:

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    Haha. My little dreamer has a better life than yours I guess. It comes out upon the hillsides dreaming of his partner. He sees the stars and feels the grass and all the wind blowing by, and watching as the people pass he heaves an ageless sigh. Right now he currently misses an ENFp who was dear to him. Poor little dreamer. *hugs him* Someone explain to me the mystery of ENFp's when they are sad. I am a relatively confused ISTp *yawns* I'm going to sleep soon late nights aren't good for the mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by XoX
    I'm just not sure what I could give to the ENFp I feel inferior.
    Don't. No need. Anyone who is aware of the here and now has our fullest respect. ISTPs are

    -- unpretentious.
    -- fiercely loyal.
    -- down-to-earth, realistic, logical.
    -- practically minded.
    -- fair.
    -- able to achieve an enviable highscore at any computer game they like.

    And if my brother is anything to judge from, then ISTPs also have a very dry sense of humour (speciality: one-liners that make everybody crack up), are good cooks, and if you need them they're there to help for as long as it's necessary.

    So what's there to feel inferior about? Cheer up!

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