Faking negative Fe

[Suomea]

...

[Mediator Kam]

Anyone good at it?......: )

can you elaborate this? To fake Fe? I don't understand.

[munenori2]

What is fake negative Fe? Purposely acting like an asshole to someone you like?

[Rubicon]

waaah waahh wahh I'm so sad wahhh wahh just give me what I want wahh wahh

ok thanks, yep I'm fine now

[Joy]

Do you mean pretending to be more upset than you actually are?

I'm sure I could do this if I tried, but why would I want to?

[dbmmama]

Do you mean pretending to be more upset than you actually are?

I'm sure I could do this if I tried, but why would I want to?

because it's silly and fun and in the moment. and the Universe knows you're just having fun.

[Gilly]

I can do this if the situation calls for it, but it's definitely not something I like doing.

[Rubicon]

I can do this if the situation calls for it, but it's definitely not something I like doing.

Same. I'll only do it as a last resort if I think the person is totally oblivious to what I'm feeling. But even then, it's more just exaggerating an emotion that the person doesn't seem to be seeing.

[Joy]

because it's silly and fun and in the moment. and the Universe knows you're just having fun.

I had the impression that Suomea was talking about something a bit more manipulative.

[Sirena]

Same. I'll only do it as a last resort if I think the person is totally oblivious to what I'm feeling. But even then, it's more just exaggerating an emotion that the person doesn't seem to be seeing.

I think it's probably the opposite for me. If someone's completely oblivious to what I'm feeling, I will probably choose to come out and tell them if it is something/someone I deem important or I move on from it if I don't think it is worth it. Exaggerating any type of emotion in order to ellicit a response would feel too much like emotional manipulation.

[dbmmama]

I had the impression that Suomea was talking about something a bit more manipulative.

oh, no then. i don't do that. i'm straight up with my emotions...when i choose to share them at all.

[Rubicon]

I think it's probably the opposite for me. If someone's completely oblivious to what I'm feeling, I will probably choose to come out and tell them if it is something/someone I deem important or I move on from it if I don't think it is worth it. Exaggerating any type of emotion in order to ellicit a response would feel too much like emotional manipulation.

Yeah, it is manipulative I guess. But I'd only do it as a last resort ... if someone doesn't believe me when I tell them how I feel because I look too calm. I'm thinking of my LSI mother in particular actually, which come to think of it, makes sense because she's Fe-seeking. I can open my heart to her, telling her how i feel, and she just thinks for a second and says "No, that's not right." or something ... just because I guess she's looking for an intensity of passion in my delivery that matches what I'm saying I feel. So I can exaggerate my emotions out of frustration, just to get her to believe that I'm feeling what I say I'm feeling. I hate doing that, but i feel I have to sometimes in order to be understood.

[marooned]

I didn't really think what you were describing was manipulative, Jem. It seemed more that it was necessary to convey how you were feeling, and amplifying the intensity to sort of get it across because the other person didn't see it or wasn't convinced.

[dbmmama]

I didn't really think what you were describing was manipulative, Jem. It seemed more that it was necessary to convey how you were feeling, and amplifying the intensity to sort of get it across because the other person didn't see it or wasn't convinced.

i see your point as well loki. there is a fine line.......

[Joy]

I didn't really think what you were describing was manipulative, Jem. It seemed more that it was necessary to convey how you were feeling, and amplifying the intensity to sort of get it across because the other person didn't see it or wasn't convinced.

I have a Ti dominant ex boyfriend and ex husband, and I'd have to act like this with them in order for them to understand that something was actually wrong. It sucked.

[misutii]

when I was in elementary school and high school I would occasionally pretend to be sick so I could take the day off. There was always a strategic element to this as I made sure never to miss a day that was actually important. My little sister (IEI) does this too I've noticed. She conveniently misses the maximum alotted absence slots available to her each semester (but still gets good marks so is completely justified in doing so). The term for such behaviour as this is malingering lol.

[Sirena]

Yeah, it is manipulative I guess. But I'd only do it as a last resort ... if someone doesn't believe me when I tell them how I feel because I look too calm. I'm thinking of my LSI mother in particular actually, which come to think of it, makes sense because she's Fe-seeking. I can open my heart to her, telling her how i feel, and she just thinks for a second and says "No, that's not right." or something ... just because I guess she's looking for an intensity of passion in my delivery that matches what I'm saying I feel. So I can exaggerate my emotions out of frustration, just to get her to believe that I'm feeling what I say I'm feeling. I hate doing that, but i feel I have to sometimes in order to be understood.

I can see how this would work between people that value Fe. I think you explained it very well. Another difference that jumps out at me is that someone not believing me will cause me to shut down more, rather than increase the intensity of my emotional expression. In these instances, the only thing I can do is show my feelings through actions. I've also noticed that when this happens sometimes I'll go into trying to explain myself in a Te way, which just makes me look really, idk, stiff and unconvincing. I grew up in a family where I was encouraged to show Fe. Like you said, they didn't believe it unless they saw the emotion clearly on my face or through my words. The more they pushed though, the more unable I became in doing so. I did sometimes find myself using Fe in this way to avoid conflict or maybe also to onvercompensate. It did always and still does leave a feeling of "fakeness", of "not me."

[Sirena]

I have a Ti dominant ex boyfriend and ex husband, and I'd have to act like this with them in order for them to understand that something was actually wrong. It sucked.

This is what I mean. I have had to do it before, which has unfortunately stuck with me. But it never felt "right."

[marooned]

... .. .

[kensi]

Anyone good at it?......: )

any function can be faked....you sometimes do it and you are not aware of it.

I don't fully know what you mean by negative though.

[FDG]

Probably I've done it sometimes out of pure frustration with my LSI father. I mean, we usually get along well, but sometimes he asks me to do things I don't want to do and I don't have time to do - I first try to convey slightly that I cannot do them with a change of my tone of voice, but when he comes back two or three times I can get a bit sick of it

[marooned]

To be clear Loki, I wasn't being critical of Jem's example.

I didn't think you were...

[Rubicon]

I wonder if there's a short cut... like saying "you know how sometimes when I say how I feel, you don't seem to believe me until I'm extremely expressive about it??? I do this on purpose because you don't seem to hear me when I don't. But generally when I say how I feel, it is how I feel, even if it isn't extremely expressive... so I was wondering if we could skip the part where I repeat it and express it more... and just stop at the part where I say how I feel... because it's true... and maybe you could take my word for it? Because although sometimes I may be very expressive, sometimes I can state how I feel in a calm way and at those times I'm sort of straining myself if I try to project more emotion in order to convince you of how I am feeling."

Do you mind if I steal this speech? But I'd modify it so that it's more declarative. "Let's just skip the part where I say how I feel ...." (c:

[Suomea]

...

[marooned]

In that case, I think some children might be good at it... but adults often become so trained to behave themselves, even when their internal thoughts represent the emotional maturity of Donald Duck.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I feel in the end I am taking advantage of a person in a way... of their good spirits. I mean not a lot of people really want to listen to you just kind of.... exaggerate emotions. It's just silly and easily mocked. Which is why I never understood acting.

But hey it helps us cure our own pain by making fun of others. So who wants to snark on Dawson's Creek with me?