I'm new and need help!

[hoodrat]

First off, i joined this forum last night and am glad to have found a helpful socionics community. Awesome!

The reason I'm posting is that I'm having trouble typing one member of my quadra (I've typed myself as a gamma - SEE). The ESI continues to elude me. I keep thinking I have an ESI nailed, only to later figure out that I was pretty far off.

I THINK I might have one found.... can you tell me if you think he's an ESI?

examples of usual behavior:

I like to joke about stealing my friend's girlfriends a lot, even though I'm usually joking, I can play it off like I'm really serious and actually going to do it. Whenever I joke around like that in front of this guy, he gets very energetic and engaged in the conversation, saying things like

possible ESI: "there's no way they'll break up! it's not going to happen! you ever heard that dido song? 'you're not gonna get it'....yeah......"
my usual response: you might be surprised. I think she's into me dude.... I totally got this.

One of the main reasons I think he's ESI is that he's really one of the most non-intrusive friendliest people around, in day to day life. If your car was broken down 20 miles away, and you called him to help you, with him considering you two "friends", he'd be there ASAP with no questions asked. However, if you step on his toes in terms of where he stands with morals (i.e. the above example about stealing your friend's girlfriends), or talk shit about any of the people he considers his close friends around him, he will without fail get very confrontational and in your face defending them.... I think this represents creativity very solidly....

Any comments?

[Sirena]

Welcome to the forum! Not sure about the answer to your question though. I'm not sure that what you described is type related. I will post later if I think of anything related to say.

[discojoe]

First off, i joined this forum last night and am glad to have found a helpful socionics community. Awesome!

The reason I'm posting is that I'm having trouble typing one member of my quadra (I've typed myself as a gamma - SEE). The ESI continues to elude me. I keep thinking I have an ESI nailed, only to later figure out that I was pretty far off.

I THINK I might have one found.... can you tell me if you think he's an ESI?

examples of usual behavior:

I like to joke about stealing my friend's girlfriends a lot, even though I'm usually joking, I can play it off like I'm really serious and actually going to do it. Whenever I joke around like that in front of this guy, he gets very energetic and engaged in the conversation, saying things like

possible ESI: "there's no way they'll break up! it's not going to happen! you ever heard that dido song? 'you're not gonna get it'....yeah......"
my usual response: you might be surprised. I think she's into me dude.... I totally got this.

One of the main reasons I think he's ESI is that he's really one of the most non-intrusive friendliest people around, in day to day life. If your car was broken down 20 miles away, and you called him to help you, with him considering you two "friends", he'd be there ASAP with no questions asked. However, if you step on his toes in terms of where he stands with morals (i.e. the above example about stealing your friend's girlfriends), or talk shit about any of the people he considers his close friends around him, he will without fail get very confrontational and in your face defending them.... I think this represents creativity very solidly....

Any comments?

I don't think going out of your way to help a friend is necessarily type-related, though I do think that the promptness in which you leave to help them is. I think the "loyal" types, like ISFj and ISTj, are most likely to leave right away and get there within the shortest amount of time to help someone they consider a friend, or even anyone they agreed to help.

Other than that, I need more information other than the fact that he gets confrontational when you blatantly disregard other people's personal relationships, because the manner in which he engages in these confrontations doesn't sound particularly ISFj-like.

My response would be more along the lines of, "Huhuh! Let's joke about ruining other people's relationships that are none of our business!" I wouldn't be very friendly about it regardless of who I was speaking to.

[hoodrat]

Well, he doesn't get literally in your face defending relationships.... it's more like he says things as to imply he has 0% faith that I have a chance in breaking up my friend/girlfriend and stealing her....

What else could I say about him that might give him away....

He's overly polite. More so than most people. He's one of the few people I know that when he crashes a friend's place after a party, he'll sometimes clean up the whole apartment as a "thank you".

He likes to drink and talk about drugs a lot, more so than I do (which i personally find to be a little excessive). He takes substance abuse as a very lighthearted matter, but doesn't ever "lose himself" to substance abuse (e.g. i don't ever see him as being the addicted junkie type).

When it comes to girls, he's always very polite and straightforward. He rarely talks about girls purely sexually like I do sometimes ("omg, her ass is amazing. I must have her"). When he's talking about a girl he likes, he usually goes on saying things like "she's the coolest girl I know! she's really cool omg"

Was that of any more help?

[dbmmama]

Well, he doesn't get literally in your face defending relationships.... it's more like he says things as to imply he has 0% faith that I have a chance in breaking up my friend/girlfriend and stealing her....

What else could I say about him that might give him away....

He's overly polite. More so than most people. He's one of the few people I know that when he crashes a friend's place after a party, he'll sometimes clean up the whole apartment as a "thank you".

He likes to drink and talk about drugs a lot, more so than I do (which i personally find to be a little excessive). He takes substance abuse as a very lighthearted matter, but doesn't ever "lose himself" to substance abuse (e.g. i don't ever see him as being the addicted junkie type).

When it comes to girls, he's always very polite and straightforward. He rarely talks about girls purely sexually like I do sometimes ("omg, her ass is amazing. I must have her"). When he's talking about a girl he likes, he usually goes on saying things like "she's the coolest girl I know! she's really cool omg"

Was that of any more help?

YOU sound like my husband. that's just about ALL he talks about. lol with your friend sounding like me. ?

[hoodrat]

Thanks Esper . And dbmmama, your husband sounds like a pretty cool guy .

[dbmmama]

Thanks Esper . And dbmmama, your husband sounds like a pretty cool guy .

yeah, he is. see ya 'round.

[discojoe]

Well, he doesn't get literally in your face defending relationships.... it's more like he says things as to imply he has 0% faith that I have a chance in breaking up my friend/girlfriend and stealing her....

This could theoretically be Fi, but it sounds more like an Fe corrective response, like he's trying to gently nudge you in a different direction without making you feel bad.

He's overly polite. More so than most people. He's one of the few people I know that when he crashes a friend's place after a party, he'll sometimes clean up the whole apartment as a "thank you".

What do you mean by polite? Friendly? Because ISFjs can be very polite, but aren't considered very friendly except with close company. ISFjs don't see any practical benefit in Fe cheeriness when there's no one nearby who they care enough about to use it on.

He likes to drink and talk about drugs a lot, more so than I do (which i personally find to be a little excessive). He takes substance abuse as a very lighthearted matter, but doesn't ever "lose himself" to substance abuse (e.g. i don't ever see him as being the addicted junkie type).

Eh, this doesn't really mean anything. Different people use different drugs for different reasons. However, I can tentatively say that the kind of enthusiasm for drugs you're describing here sounds to me like someone who takes Si more seriously than an ISFj would. Having Si as their eighth function means that ISFjs enjoy using Si, but see too much of it - or too much energy placed into it - as a waste of time. A sort of self-deception, you could say.

When it comes to girls, he's always very polite and straightforward. He rarely talks about girls purely sexually like I do sometimes ("omg, her ass is amazing. I must have her"). When he's talking about a girl he likes, he usually goes on saying things like "she's the coolest girl I know! she's really cool omg"

I'm not sure. While I don't think that ISFjs are very concerned about saying raunchy things about people they find attractive, I think it's mainly done in relatively small doses and only around people regarded as friends by the ISFj, and usually never about another friend or someone with whom they are currently in a relationship.

That said, I can't really say anything more specific regarding your friend, except to say that he basically sounds like a nice person.

Can you post a photo, or maybe a more extensive description of how he reacts to various things, his hobbies, his physical presence, that kind of thing?

[FDG]

Well, sure the description your portray of him does not contradict ESI - except perhaps the drug part, but it also depends on the age of the ESI in question - but it's not conclusively conductive in favour of it either. Have you by chance been able to type the people he's closest to, for example?